sometimes, i am just too shy
i cant get you out of my head. plain and simple. seeing you drives me crazy, drives me wild. i think i may, actually, get the courage to hang out with you. maybe we can have some fun. maybe you will say yes. but i am deathly afraid youll say no. i can hear you saying no. i can see you exploiting me, holding my soul out bare for all to grab hungerly. They will tear me apart. i know you have that power. i can tell each time you make those smart lil marks. "stop flirting in concession" but is it the old clique that you are mean to the ones you like? you. only you, have i made fun of despite the fact i like you. i think i can cover up all the feelings i have of you just by being mean. sometimes we are nice. but its only when no one is around. i think of each lil thing. everyone and rip it apart, looking for some hidden meaning. something, anything to hint one way or another. i have at least part of you figured out, but the rest is a mystery. not only to me, but everyone else. dear emily telling me she cant even imagine you with another girl. she cant tell me wither or not it is even wise to try. but i think i might. maybe not this week with finals, but the next week. when you are free. maybe, just maybe we can spend some time together. i know we wouldnt be able to tell anybody. i know how dangerous that is, but ill gladly keep you a secret if i must. before anything, i want to at least be your friend. complete one step before the other. i want everything to go right this time. but i cant try now. no. its so wrong. i need to losen my grasp. i need to get away. i hope this week, apart, is the medication i need.

-- horoscope --

Luxuriate in your own emotions today as opulent Jupiter in your sign participates in a wonderful love fest. Your optimism can easily overflow and even be contagious; however something may be gnawing away at you from the inside. This negativity can be just a passing thought if you are willing to be flexible in your thinking. Once you know the source of your anxiety, you'll be able to easily move past it.

Crush ME