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--*Being Alone*--

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babaloo181

:: 2005 3 February :: 7.48pm
:: Mood: lazy
:: Music: you were always on my mind-willie nelson

"and it's been a while.."
::sigh:: gotta love staind :) .. so .. it HAS been quite a while since i've written in this dusty old thing.. i dunno.. i just haven't been in the mood.. in fact i dont think i even wrote in here when colin came a few weekends ago... well it was so wonderful seeing him again.. it amazes me how much i love that kid.. like every time i see him it just reminds me of how much i care for him and love spending time with him.. it's so nice.. and u know what's even better? he's comin next weekend.. and the weekend after that.. u know what that means? next weekend is the weekend before valentine's day.. and the one after that is the weekend before our 1 year anniversary.. i still can't believe we've been together for a year... that's so odd... like i think about it and im just like.. wow.. we've been thru a lot though.. like now that i think about it ... gosh i can't wait till the seniors leave.. it'll make my life so much easier.. i wont have to see her anymore... god i swear .. just seeing her makes the rest of my day completely unbearable... everything just goes downhill and i get this sick feeling in my stomach.. it's awful.. haha u know what i should do? hell im part italian.. get the mob on her ass.. haha oh god im such a dork.. im glad not many ppl read this journal cuz im such an idiot haha ... well anywayz.. everything's been going alrite.. hectic.. but alrite.. i just want this year to be over with.. i want high school to be over with.. all this tension and pressure.. i can't deal wit it .. and to top it all off my asthma's been acting up lately.. i had an asthma attack the other day at track practice... it's such a scary feeling.. it's almost like ur drowning and everytime u come up for air somebody shoves u rite back into the water... i can't help but cry everytime i get one.. cuz u just feel like every breath u take is ur last... oh man.. so scary.. like i dont think ppl actually understand how terrifying it is.. to literally not be able to breathe.. but yea i got this new medecine.. i just hope it works... otherwise i have to quit track... hmm let's see what else... man i haven't talked to michael in forever! .. like a month almost.. which is sooo weird cuz we used to talk like every day ... oh well i guess it wasn't that good of a friendship .. kinda makes me sad though cuz he was a good buddy of mine .. like we talked bout a lot of stuff :( .. oh wellz ... ppl change... hell look at george! ... u know i was thinkin bout him the other day and .. man that was such a waste of my time and energy! like .. that was so not a real relationship.. and it sure as hell wasn't love... it felt so real while it was happening though.. i hope i dont someday feel that way bout me and colin... then again i dont think colin would treat me like that ... but w/e... hmm what else is goin on... i have to work tomorrow from 5 30 to 9 45 .. and saturday's latin competition like all day.. agh.. i feel like i have absolutely no free time anymore.. like there's always something i should be doing ... oh wellz ... that's purdy much all i wanted to say.. so nite nite

Crush ME


jus4fun06

:: 2005 1 February :: 8.38pm

{s}ex cures {c}ancer

Crush ME


jus4fun06

:: 2005 30 January :: 11.59am

do they win
if you sit there and take it?
or
when you hit the roof and flip the fuck out on them?
when is it they win?
How do you win?

Crush ME


babaloo181

:: 2005 28 January :: 9.18pm

got bored and took some surveys... :P
Favorite thing about your boyfriend?:that's too hard.. umm.. agh i can't pick just one!
What color are his eyes?:brown :)
What color is his hair?:brown too .. aww he's got the softest hair!
Whats his favorite color?:umm.. haha .. red?
Whats his favorite movie?:oh that one wit the vietnamese whore... full metal jacket.. or the modern version of romeo and juliette
When your alone what do you do?:;)
Whens his birthday?:june 6th
Whats his nationality?:a mixture of things but... white
Does he play any sports?:soccer
Whats his favorite number?:hell if i know... 6?
Does he like candles?:wtf...
Ever done anything kinky?:let's just say there's a half empty bottle of whipped cream in my glove compartment ;) hehe
Taken a shower together?:nope
Are you in love?:very much so

Survey about your boyfriend brought to you by BZOINK!

Last Cigarette::i put a cuban cigar in my mouth when i was like 6.. unlit.. does that count? haha dont leave a child alone :P
Last Alcoholic Drink::umm.. champagne like 5 new years ago
Last Car Ride::umm.. driving home from school
Last Kiss::colin.. last weekend .. :) .. aww i miss him
Last Good Cry::if by "good" you mean like meaningful.. then ... about 4 or 5 months ago
Last Library Book checked out::haha umm.. it's been a while... i believe it was catcher in the rye
Last Movie Seen in Theatres::meet the fockers :D
Last Book Read::king lear
Last Movie Rented::scary movie.. like 3 years ago :P .. i dont rent movies
Last Cuss Word Uttered::umm fuck?
Last Beverage Drank::water
Last Food Consumed::apple pie
Last Crush::wat before colin? umm... wow that was a long time ago.. prolly cesar
Last Phone Call::colin.. wait no.. shilpa
Last TV Show Watched::friends
Last Time Showered::yesterday afternoon.. haha im such a pig :P
Last Shoes Worn::care bear flip flops :D
Last CD Played::dashboard confessional
Last Item Bought::nutri grain bars
Last Download::cold by crossfade
Last Annoyance::asthma
Last Disappointment::umm..can't think of anything
Last Soda Drank::a looong time ago.. i gave that up
Last Thing Written::^^
Last Key Used::^
Last Word Spoken::*cough* .. <--does that count?
Last Sleep::11 last nite ... mmm.. sleep :)
Last IM::yara
Last Sexual Fantasy::hehe *sheepish grin* :P
Last Weird Encounter::that weird kid who knew my sn but lived in michigan and had no idea who i was... creepy
Last Ice Cream Eaten::cookie dough :D
Last Time Amused::tiffany made this cool oragami thing the other day.. wow.. it was cool
Last Time Wanting To Die::.. i try not to think bout that sort of thing
Last Time In Love::rite now :)
Last Time Hugged::a few hours ago
Last Time Scolded::a few minutes ago
Last Time Resentful::i dunno.. can't think of anything
Last Chair Sat In::my comp chair
Last Lipstick Used::dont wear lipstick
Last Underwear Worn::they're from victoria secret and they say angel on em wit lil diamonds.. and they're black :)
Last Bra Worn::my black lacy one :)
Last Shirt Worn::colin's france shirt
Last Webpage Visited::some random dude's journal

"Last" Survey brought to you by BZOINK!

What is your favorite..
gum:extra the light green kind or winterfresh
restaurant:umm... dont really have one.. we dont eat out much
drink:chocolate milkshake.. mmm!
season:fall-.. it's not too hot.. it's breezy.. but not so cold that i get sick.. see? it's perfect!
type of weather:warm and breezy
emotion:love and comfort
thing to do on a half day:catch up on sleep
late-night activity:play scrabble :P
sport:haha let's get real
city:ny... can't wait to visit someday
store:charlotte russe
When was the last time you..
cried:yesterday when i had my asthma attack.. man that was scary
played a sport:yesterday at track practice
laughed:when shilpa called
hugged someone:this afternoon
kissed someone:last weekend wit my baby :)
felt depressed:all this week for some reason
felt elated:last weekend
felt overworked:psh.. im in ib... it's the story of my life
faked sick:i can't remember ever really doin that..
lied:umm... a few days ago i guess.. nothing major
What was the last..
word you said:"coje"
thing you ate:apple pie
song you listened to:look what you've done by jet
thing you drank:water
place you went to:school
movie you saw:at the movies? meet the fockers... outside of that? dead poets society
movie you rented:agh look at the other survey
concert you attended:i never have
Who was the last person you..
hugged:rafael
cried over:colin
kissed:colin
danced with:umm.. ppl at homecoming i guess
shared a secret with:shilpa?
had a sleepover with:im not allowed to have those cuz my mom thinks ill get raped.. sigh.. hispanics
called:shilpa
went to a movie with:colin
saw:my mom..
were angry with:my mom..
couldn't take your eyes off of:aww.. my baby :)
obsessed over:^^
Have you ever..
danced in the rain:yep
kissed someone:yep
done drugs:no
drank alcohol:no
slept around:nope
partied 'til the sun came up:haha im such a loser.. no
had a movie marathon:yea
gone too far on a dare:not really
spun until you were immensely dizzy:haha yea! wit hoola hoops! except i twirled as it twirled... it was a blast..
taken a survey quite like this before:umm yea actually

The Favorites, Have-You-Evers.. and Last Times! Oh, the variety! brought to you by BZOINK!

Crush ME


babaloo181

:: 2005 25 January :: 6.19pm
:: Mood: in pain.. agh track stinks
:: Music: i'm moving on by rascal flatts

another day.. another waste of time :P
..hmm i know it's a little late for this seeing as how new years was like a month ago.. but w/e i found this on blondiegirl05's journal and i thought it was really cute :)

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
hmm.. a lot of things ... but i guess the coolest one was going on a 2 week boarding camp at usf.. that was a blast

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
actually... seeing as how i do the whole grapes thing.. we dont really make resolutions as much as we make wishes.. and well at least one of mine came true... i met colin :)

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
yep my aunt

4. Did anyone close to you die?
nope.. thank god

5. What countries did you visit?
psh none.. we're so broke :P

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
i'd like to be have more drive .. cuz im so lazy man... it's really a shame haha

7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
february 22 :)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
probably going and placing at latin forum and french congres.. oh and losing weight :D

9. What was your biggest failure?
being more wild and crazy.. haha psh that one went down the pooper :P

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
a few asthma attacks.. but eh wat else is new?

11. What was the best thing you bought?
umm... well like besides just clothes.. probably my car.. eventhough i didnt really buy that... but it was bought FOR me ... so it kinda works hehe

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
my mom.. i think she was nicer this year... good

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
ehhl ... her name isn't even worth uttering...

14. Where did most of your money go?
clothes.. and school crap

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
... finding someone i was really happy wit ...

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
lagwagon- brown-eyed girl ... aww.. it will forever make me just.. smile

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner.. woot!
iii. richer or poorer? richer.. heck i have a job now woot!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
seen colin

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
procrastinating

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent it in miami wit my family.. it was alrite

22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
yea.. actually i did... ::smile::

23. How many one-night stands?
None

24. What was your favorite TV program?
prolly degrassi or law and order: svu .. didnt really watch much tv this year... that's so odd for me

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
yep

26. What was the best book you read?
probably the awakening.. at first.. i didnt really care for it.. but after studying it and really like dissecting all the fine points annd techniques of the novel... i realized it's really a wonderfully-written piece.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
cauterize and matchbook romance

28. What did you want and get?
a serious relationship

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
fifty first dates... :)

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i turned 17... and i got presents from most of my really good friends.. it was actually really nice

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
colin staying in tampa..sigh..

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
haha umm fashion? .. well i had to buy all new clothes cuz i lost weight ... but other than that....i dont really care bout that kinda crap

34. What kept you sane?
music, shilpa, yara, and colin

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
usher... i wasn't all over jt this year hehe im proud :P

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
prolly gay marriages and the election

37. Who did you miss?
... colin... of course... but that's not gonna change...

38. Who was the best new person you met?
well most of the ppl i didnt meet i just got to know them a whole lot better... prolly becca, natalia, tom, michael, and rachael

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
dont ever count on things to stay the same... this world we're livin in is in a constant state of change... so be prepared for anything.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"i've loved like i should, but lived like i shouldn't, i had to lose everything to find out, maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road... i'm moving on.."
--rascal flatts "i'm moving on" .. great song

Crush ME


babaloo181

:: 2005 20 January :: 7.08pm

im tired.. im not in the mood to do psych.. im sick... im stressed .. and all i wanna do is sleep. agh .. bye.

2 Crushed ME | Crush ME


babaloo181

:: 2005 19 January :: 5.34pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: la pelicula by aventura

damn.. wat a kick ass song


Cold
by Crossfade

Looking back at me I see that I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I知 always wrapped up in things I cannot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong like a drug that gets me high

What I really meant to say
Is I知 sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold

What I really meant to say
Is I知 sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so

Cold to you, I知 sorry about all the lies
Maybe in a different light
You can see me stand on my own again cause now I can see
You are the antidote that got me by
Something strong like a drug that got me high

What I really meant to say
Is I知 sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold

What I really meant to say
Is I知 sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold

I never meant to be, so cold

I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep it always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me there痴 just no hope
I never meant to be so cold

What I really meant to say
Is I知 sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold

What I really meant to say
Is I知 sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold

Crush ME


jus4fun06

:: 2005 17 January :: 10.03pm


good night, sleep tight, my gun

Crush ME


babaloo181

:: 2005 17 January :: 3.35pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: you by switchfoot

aww
"it's not my fault you're the love of my life and i just can't help but buckle at the knees every time you kiss me and look into my eyes..."
-- my baby

i heart cawen :)

Crush ME


jus4fun06

:: 2005 15 January :: 11.13pm

i try...
or mayb i dont.

lets ask the magic 8 ball.
it knows all the answers
to the riddles.

Crush ME

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