suspensionrings
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2003 21 November :: .43am
There are dead pigeons with wooden eyes. Old blood.
Maggot. I like that one.
Vision returns. Sound. Screams. Chasing effigies. Dead pigeons. Spitting blood. Red and black, black and red. Wake up. Never wake up.
Yellow eyes. Reflection. Can't help but laugh.
She's biting the heads off of pigeons. Wings, back, whatever whatever. Spitting blood on the sidewalk. Replacing it with wood and wire. Beautiful golems. They smile like the damned.
She's been chasing effigies around the city. Catching, raping, mutilating. It wasn't fun until now. It lacked that one essential spark. Laugh. It's funny. I know who it is.
Red and black. Black and red. Blood on the door, blood on the stairs, blood on the floor, blood in my hair. Yellow eyes.
Hssssssss. No. Petulent child.
Because she dyed her hair blue. Doesn't want to be associated with certain other blondes. Laugh, dogshit. You're making it funny.
Does the blonde scream when it is mutilated? Does an effigy even care that its eyes are bitten out? All you can see is him. The expression on his face as blood runs down his chin. Bit her tongue out, he did. She was in the hospital for weeks. Nice nice pretty boy teach me all your tricks. In the house house house.
I'd only have to kill if my imagination runs out. And it always comes back. Good little puppy. What's that you've got in your teeth?
A golem. A golem.
.come get your knife.
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suspensionrings
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2003 20 November :: 7.35pm
In your house I long to be
Room by room, patiently
I'll wait for you there like a stone
I'll wait for you there alone
That's always reminded me of the opening minutes of Manhunter.
Lacking in emotion, I let the music bleed colors on dryness of grey. Fucking bastard land. Kill it all.
.come get your knife.
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suspensionrings
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2003 20 November :: 7.47am
Sabø†age is up to her ears in Depression's blood. Grinning like the motherfucking ass she is. Bringing him into Neverland was a retarded thing to do. I have no idea why I thought he wouldn't immediately become Sab's favorite toy. She's gone skeletal, an x-ray sort of thing, prancing around like stop-motion animation, hiding in the shadows with a top hat and a grin like a carnival clown. {"It" always scared the piss out of me as a kid.} She's dancing or something. At least she calls it dancing. More like shadowplay. And then she stops and grabs Depp's head and, well. Poor little fucker, if I hated him less I'd have pity. But his filth is stronger than One's ever was. Oozing like black oil, but it looks and smells of congealed blood. On the futon and the cracks in the walls. Crawling like maggots. I am made entirely of maggots. A colony of them in human skin. Isn't that amusing. She's wearing her mask. It's always terribly symbolic when she wears it. And I never have any idea what it's supposed to mean. It looks different, too. Not split down the middle anymore. Just black and white with a hint of old blood and yellow lighting. Lines all scribbly. She's grinning like motherfucker. Bastard. Cutting his head off with a bread knife. He doesn't scream. Doesn't move. Doesn't anything but lie there with that stupid expression on his face. He really believes that somehow, he's earned this. That it is his lot in life. And Massacre is still stuck in that chrysalis. It managed to move just long enough to rewrap the blindfold around its mouth.
Long paragraph. Depp is choking the life from my universe. And Sab can do nothing but rage at it. She hates him more than I do, because she realizes how unnecessary he is. I'm seeing the world too much through his eyes, everything's tinted brown. And some part of me realizes this is false, useless, can be done without. But the rest can't stop. It feels so just. So right.
.come get your knife.
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suspensionrings
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2003 19 November :: 8.42pm
I am unchanged. While those around me sprout wings and iron hooks and learn to fly and pierce the eyes of their lesser beings, I am unchanged. Time is worthless to me. I am standing in the rain with my face in my hands. A blindfold over my mouth, tendrils shriveled with unuse. My stomach is boiling with acid, I'm hungry and yet disgusted at the thought of food. It seems like I've forgotten everything. And I can't forget anything. The past and my own blinding stupidity still stings. Alas alas.
Oh. Shit.
2 .bloody kisses. |
.come get your knife.
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