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2004 21 February :: 10.36 pm
:: Mood: dead
:: Music: the prom- the city gets lonely
i do nothing for attention
Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
Is so much simpler than change
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
another wasted breath,
again it goes unnoticed.
In my nightmare I feel so alive
In my dreamscape escapades
I make the grade I save the
day
2 mug of juices |
pimp juice? |
::
2004 21 February :: 4.50 pm
:: Mood: drained
there are things that people dont understand about others. there is nothing wrong with that. no one was made to understand everything. we tend to pass judgement too quickly when we dont truly know the situation of the other person, i am guitly of this too, im not saying im not. some people cant help things that happen, they cant control what they do. some people are sick, some think they are, some arent. we dont know who is what or who isnt, theres no way to tell. people, inculding myself, need patience to understand things. there are some things in this world we can't fix, we cant handle. everyone is different.
you are my savior, i would have been gone so many times without you. you have no idea how much you mean to me, that you save me everyday. i dont know who i would be, if i would be, without you.
pimp juice? |
::
2004 19 February :: 9.30 pm
:: Mood: deflated
:: Music: no
'why couldn't he have liked us when he was this hot?' -lenny
i hate it so much. jesus christ, i try so hard to do something and i cant i cant do it. this is the first thing that has been really really important to me and i cant do it. im trying i am really. and the last thing i need is for people that have no idea shoving it in my face that i cant do it. god, im so frustrated.
to make the day worse i realized that someone will never see me. they wont ever look at me as a person, much less what i want them to see. danison you are grand and i love that you understand what im talking about, i kiss you.
a shitty end to a shitty day
pimp juice? |
::
2004 19 February :: 5.45 am
:: Mood: dreamy
:: Music: just guess
| Choose a band/or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:: | dashboard confessionals | | Are you female or male:: | hey girl | | Describe yourself:: | ghost of a good thing | | How do some people feel about you:: | so beautiful ha | | How do you feel about yourself:: | several ways to die trying | | Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend:: | bend and not break | | Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend:: | rapid hopeloss | | Describe where you want to be:: | screaming infadelities | | Describe what you want to be:: | am i missing | | Describe how you live:: | hands down | | Describe how you love:: | as lovers go | | Share a few words of wisdom:: | if you cant leave it be, might as well make it bleed |
Bands // Song Titles brought to you by BZOINK!
3 mug of juices |
pimp juice? |
::
2004 19 February :: 5.29 am
:: Mood: wistful
:: Music: dashboard-ghost of a good thing
the OC rocked my socks last night. made me sad too though...as does everything else ha..ha. anyway, i dont have a whole lot to say so i will just go away now.
'we only accept the love we think we deserve'
2 mug of juices |
pimp juice? |
::
2004 18 February :: 7.03 pm
:: Mood: shy
:: Music: get up kids- overdue
crushes, thoughts, my world as it was today
*sigh* i know. alright i truly hate beign invisible. at least invisible to the people that i want to see me. maybe my expectations are to high? i dont know, maybe someone could tell me if thats so. i walk around in a blur, a sort of dream.
i hate feelings that overwhelm you and wont go away until they make you do something irrational. or you just die inside because the feelings there so long.
im just thinking out loud.
i have a big crush on someone, only the completely oblivous doesnt know who, and it makes me smile.
pimp juice? |
::
2004 18 February :: 11.33 am
:: Mood: liked
:: Music: typing
alright so i got in a huge fight ,kinda, with bob so i now am not using his computer for some reason....anyway
today was interesting so far. still not that weird around andrew which is good.tarek got ketchup on his knee which made me giggle profusely.
8 mug of juices |
pimp juice? |
::
2004 17 February :: 11.28 am
:: Mood: fun
:: Music: the crunch of the cheezit
no more boyfriend
i broke up with andrew today.YAY i havent been single in a long time. its not that i didnt love him, i still do but i havent been unattatched for a long time. now if only i could get some boys....to have fun with. lala
2 mug of juices |
pimp juice? |
::
2004 16 February :: 7.07 pm
:: Mood: hopeless
:: Music: reel big fish-where have you been
say you love me love me again but if you love me where have you been?
say you need me more then anyone else,well go to hell
where have you been?
i feel hopeless, my world spins out into something i can't even grasp. i read all these books and i wish so much to be in one. i look up from reading and i feel like this cant be my life. ergh. i love you guys for today though, pizza hut rocked my socks
1 mug of juice |
pimp juice? |
::
2004 16 February :: 10.06 am
:: Mood: content
:: Music: something mexican on bob 's radio
okay i must make this fast as to not distrub the large bob man...so lenny im scared, but i love u so be better.
beach today i clap
3 mug of juices |
pimp juice? |
::
2004 15 February :: 7.20 pm
:: Mood: nervous
:: Music: reel big fish
'
tonight was amazing, i love the smell of greek food wafting through the air, cleaning up others people's flaming cheese. actually wasn't that bad, i smell like greek ppl though, so refreshing
i <3 andrew, sorry i havent shown it lately
beach tommorow? and people STOP COMMENTING IN MY JOURANL AS ANYNOMOUS im sick of deleting mean comments. sorry im done now
pimp juice? |
::
2004 15 February :: 9.20 am
:: Mood: geeky
:: Music: Less then jake- shes gonna break soon
oh hot diggity. my life is a bubble you poke it i smack you. this morning has been the best journal...comment....it was a good morning becaouse of peoples comments. you make me sad i punch the living hell out of you.
HAPPY SUNDAY
4 mug of juices |
pimp juice? |
::
2004 14 February :: 11.09 pm
im in an emo mood right now, i doubt anyone truly wants to read this but hey..
i want to feel my heart pounding when i see you
i want to not sit and wonder 'what if'
i dont want to regret every choice i make, or dont make
i want a world where every gets what they deserve
i want to be noticed
i want to be the girl you read about who walks into a room and everyone looks at her, not just because shes beautiful, but because she has a vibe about her that makes everyone feel
i want to live in a world where people don't judge
i dont want to judge
i want my friends to be happy
everything seems so out of control sometimes that i dont see how the world can continue on its course. i dont see how people can go about their daily lifes when i know inside their crying and screaming to say how they really feel? i mean imagine a world where everyone just wore their heart on their sleaves. i just wish so much, and i want so much....and i dont deserve it, i know but that doesnt change the fact that i want it
emily
8 mug of juices |
pimp juice? |
::
2004 14 February :: 10.39 pm
:: Mood: soggy, sad, pissed off
findings of tonight:
1. im more together then i thought
2. im more confused about everything
3. PB is a pot smoking asshole
4. lenny is great
yes so the rain reflects my mood as it always does, this valentines day sucked which shouldnt have been a surprise because its me and my whole world consists of nothing but shitty days compiled together to make a great suckfest. lenny was there tonight so it made everything more bearable.
linsey you are the best person i know and you deserve so much. i love you more then anything and i want you to get nothing but good things for the rest of your life. you deserve the best boys, best friends, and the most attention. i love you lenile.
'people say to not regret anything because it all makes you who you are today, but what if you don't like who you are?'
-forever confused-
4 mug of juices |
pimp juice? |
::
2004 13 February :: 6.03 am
harharhar
| when was your first... | | kiss...: | last summer | | with tongue?: | last summer | | handjob/fingerbang [received]?: | er sometime this year | | handjob/fingerbang [given]?: | last summer | | fuck?: | neva!!!!! | | oral experience [received]?: | .......... | | oral experience [given]?: | hahaha everyone knows my issue | | anal experience?: | JESUS | | do you like... | | coital sex?: | haha | | oral sex?: | not so much | | anal sex?: | fuck no | | making out?: | yes | | handjobs/fingerbangs [receiving]?: | eh | | handjobs/fingerbangs [giving]?: | eh | | being submissive?: | eh | | being dominate?: | ergh you ppl silly | | this or that | | lube or spit?: | lube | | condoms or rhythm?: | condoms | | missionary or cowgirl?: | missionary | | doggy or standing?: | hmmm standing | | food or ice?: | ice | | thick or long?: | both | | basic | | age:: | 15 | | sex:: | female | | sexuality:: | straight | | number of partners:: | none baybay |
sex SEX sex brought to you by BZOINK!
1 mug of juice |
pimp juice? |
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