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2003 2 October :: 5.51 am
:: Mood: so confused
:: Music: GC
me...bad...
yeah, uhm nothing...new...i gues....yeah...afterschool was...fun...yesterday....im going insane.....yea....its all good in the hood, i suppose. blah blah AH i think by making myself feel better i might be hurting other people?
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2003 1 October :: 5.44 am
:: Mood: better then yesterday
:: Music: Good Charlotte
Linsey, i love you with all of my and carries insides, we will never drop you as a friend, i couldn't live wihtout you!.......yesterday after school sucked majorly, tarek was there though so i actually got to SEE him becuase i hardly do, but besides that blah. i dont know what my problem was i was just freaking out and tense and annie didnt have to say what he did and everyone else was just annoying the shit out of me (not you linsey, not you carrie)...so i got carrie and we walked to grab n go becuase i needed to get away and i could tell she didi too, yeah thats pretty much it...this morning is better i think, im just scared to...talk...to...AH
pimp juice? |
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2003 30 September :: 6.01 am
:: Mood: numb
im slipping into old habits again, i knew this was going to stat again. i dont understand why, this should be one of hre times when im actually happy, i guess i am. 'don't take what people say to heart' yeah like i really try to hurt myself by doing so. im not stupid, i understand that most people dont know me and dont give a shit about me unless im someone to gossip about, i get that. but why is it always me, its not i know, it just seems that way. im starting to forget again how to feel, its like im repeating the same stupid mistakes i did so many times before i should know whats right and whats wrong. i lay in bed at night and i dont think about anything i just lay there but i know somethings wrong, it cant just be me there has to be something wrong, i pray to God im not this insane.....carrie, im sorry.....
2 mug of juices |
pimp juice? |
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2003 29 September :: 5.31 pm
:: Mood: hurt, confused, lost...
:: Music: Taking Back Sunday
'I want to hate you so bad...'
fallen stars how i've fallen from your glance
lately i seem to wish you were here next to me
so close but not close enough
why can't i want the one i have?
holding feelings back that are waiting to come alive
nothing hurts more then a loved on lost
your eyes haunt my sleep, i dream of only you
whispering to me about your troubles
i want to be yours again
i want to hate you so bad but with every glance in your direction i seem to fall in love all over again...
wow, just kill me now. i have some serious issues and i dont even know why. theres nothing to be confused about, so everyone says. maybe shes right, maybe i am all those things. damnit i hate second guessing myself like this. oh well, uhm...today sucked. thats it.yeah
pimp juice? |
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2003 28 September :: 4.51 pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: bob hammering and drilling in my room :/
i am so tired i cannot even see straight
blah, this weekend was kickass...everything was just super. friday, was great saturday was good. CLE went tanning and then to the mall where we met up with josh boy so carrie could do him a little ha. but today was so tiring, i have been doing homeowrk since 2:30 and im still not done. i know i know its my fault for waiting until the last minuted to do it but hey at least i do it, yeah ...well thats pretty much it. just wanted to say hi to everyone becuase i need a break from stupid world history. PEACE
pimp juice? |
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2003 27 September :: 12.47 pm
:: Mood: giggly
SHITFACED
hahahah wooo yesterday was fun like woah. ha we did a lil bit naughty last night but anywho......school was great we stayed in yearbook all day and then like 15 minutes b4 the last bell rang we went on the cat walk with NICK GLEASON hahah lenny and charles were there too it was so grand ooo we petttted his head real good. lol and then PB droved us home and carrie says "hey look alcohol" and then from there it just got a lil wild...haha so we get to the moives and were a lil....spammed and so ppl alughed at us and fro laughed at us a lot and so did cole haha wooo AND THEN all these silly fucks were like omgosh you guys are so naughty, ya know what though its our lives and we had fun and were not stupid and were not going to do anything we know would hurt us. but yeah, everyone made fun of me and tar cuz we didnt see ANY of the movie haha its cool though. well after tarek left i went to talk to annie. i hope he didnt do what he wanted to, i just worry about him a lot ....he asked me why i cared so much last night and i told him its becuase i cared about him so much. but yeah....be good annie. and then linsey made out with russel, get your mac on lenny woohu. CHARLES SAID LENNY IS SO PRETTY RIGHT NOW. the boys are over so we go away now. c ya
3 mug of juices |
pimp juice? |
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2003 26 September :: 5.48 am
:: Mood: confusedness
:: Music: Saves the Day
picture day
i hate picture day. i cant wear shirts with writing i cant wear half of my clothes..yeah thank you mother. grrr i wanted to beat someone very badly yesterday, freaking dinner with bobs family...blahblahblabhbla. i just cant stand when ppl tell me i have to dress differently around certain people, its not right. but anyway, stayed after school today for a while. tarek was there but he left really early so lenny charles and annie kept me comapny. freaking andrew kept pushing me in the reallyreally cold rain haha oh well it was great cuz when i got in the car i started getting yelled at for being wet. yay i love tuning ppl out! haha woo uhm tonight lenny and charles come to my house to do naughty at night and then we go bell tower to get our mac on. yes you heard there will be mucho mucho naughty tonight wooooooo
pimp juice? |
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2003 24 September :: 12.50 pm
:: Mood: energetic
:: Music: people typing haha
Lenny so looks at porn
hi all, yeah im in class...blah. okay i got back from chicago last night and i was so tired but i actually did my lab, and i found out today its not really due until friday...oh well i guess. well today was a GREAT day so far, hehehe yeah...im stupid but thats okay. i go out with tarek now :) ...woo im too fucking giggly, someone slap me. anyway, im going to stay after today then go to cheelreading ERLACK...thats all....
p.s. lenny got pantsed at lunch and i almost touched carries boys THINGIE ha
*welcome to ernest, home of the nakie*
pimp juice? |
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2003 22 September :: 4.09 pm
:: Mood: happppy
:: Music: Mest
happy emily
im on the phone with charles yay hahahahaha. aww last night tarek called me and i was freaking out, im so spazzy on the phone..haha oh well we talked for a while, gr i like that boy too much when i promised myself i wouldnt..oh well. AH and now im turning into you know who that only writes about boy. AH anyway, I SAW MEST TODAY omgoodness i was in hot topic and they walked in i freaked out and like ran out of the store haha it was still pretty nifty...yeah got my homecoming dress too, i am enthused by it. i think i see nick tonight, hmm...that should be interesting....i hope i dont do naughty with him...ah whatever happens happens i guess...PEACE
4 mug of juices |
pimp juice? |
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2003 21 September :: 7.16 pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: Good Charlotte
suck my earlobe chicago
blah was supposed to see nick today but kinda,...well..didnt ha. eh and i want to go home, i miss ppl which is sad cuz ive been here a total of 2 days, oh well thats just my crazy ass self. and then im doing what i promised i wouldnt do! BAD EMILY! falling again, blah no nono i just set myself up to get hurt i know i know but i guess you cant ever be really happy unless you put yourself out there...oh well still sucks either way.
pimp juice? |
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2003 20 September :: 5.22 am
:: Mood: groggy
chicago
leaving for chicago in a few hours, too damn early...got like 4 hours of sleep last night, which was okay becuase i had fun last night :). i went ot the game with linsey and dani...loulou was there but with her boy so ...yes didnt see her a whole lot ha. tarek was there too, hes too cute hehe. blah i dont know what the fuck andrew was doing there but he had a new little...well actually TALL gf...stupid freshman ...stupid tall freshman...blah haha it kinda bothered me but not as much as i thought it would. thanx linsey for blocking my view of them though hehe thats what a great buddy is for!!!! but yeah, i really like boy....i dont think i want to mess around with nick anymore...eh we'll see what happens...CHARLES HAS BF she goes out with stalker boy yay for carrie...nora has bf...she doesnt like him though, ha thats how the cookie crumbles ppl.
pimp juice? |
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2003 17 September :: 9.22 pm
:: Mood: loved
PB
YAY okay today was awesome! besides the fact that im sure i failed my bio test and geo for that matter, but theyre just grades so whatever..haha okay well after school PB drove me and linsey and tarek to tareks house ....well haha PB is a lot more perverted then we thought but...yeah harhar well me and...everyone else were laying on tartars bed and then uhm, yeah a little bit of naughty happened, but only a little :) hehe then PB drove linsey and me to my house is his kickass BMW wooohu yeah okay thats all for today children
p.s. oh yeah, carrie told me hot senior boy asked about me in third lunch!
pimp juice? |
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2003 16 September :: 8.12 pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: Less Then Jake
leave me the fuck alone
is it sad that i take pleasure in annoying the SHIT out of my mother? ...i foudn out today that i cannot stand beign around her for more then about..15 minutes, i just want to smack her upside the head and scream YOU DONT KNOW ME, YOU NEVER WILL STOP ASKIGN ABOUT MY LIFE...yeah, okay wow typical teenager stuff i know..blah i fucking hate school, im probably failing about 3 of my classes and i couldn't care less...blabhlabhalbhlahblabhalbhlahblahblabh ....tareks adorable, im going to homecoming with him :) makes me happy....yup what a change the one thing in my life that isnt shit right now is guys GO FIGURE haha PEACE
pimp juice? |
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2003 16 September :: 3.52 pm
:: Mood: confused, stressed, pressured.
:: Music: blahblahblabh
how can my inner child be older then me?...ww im mature
My inner child is sixteen years old!
Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.
How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla
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2003 16 September :: 5.32 am
:: Mood: rushed
haha
woo i am a bad girl grrr....i seriously just...blah ANYWAYS stayed after school today but totally unintentionally stupid ms.thom wouldnt let me go to my locker to get my bio stuff so i missed my bus...gr...but it turned out to be cool...hehe tarek and andrew and all the other usual ppl were there after school yay...me and tarek....i...yeah...i might have kissed him, a tiny kiss but...DAMN ME and andrew was right there, i kind of hope he saw to be honest but...w/e tareks a cool kid and i like him bunches hahaha thats all ...since i didnt study at all (slept instead) im goign to fail bio WOOHU
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