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2004 26 April :: 9.24 pm
How do you trust people if you cant trust yourself?
Why do people insist on hurting the people the live on the same planet as?
Why is wealth more than survival?
Yeah...ive been depressed...since friday...crying every now and then..because its there.....dara..ashley...niki is basically not even talking to me cause im not important enough for her time...yeah....so im kinda just.....here...alone...with no one to confide in that i can completly and uterly trust...well ok 1 i think i can trust...due to how long ive know that person...but i havent talked to them like really talked in a few weeks....yeah
i dunno being attached dosent seem to important anymore.
lie |
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2004 20 April :: 8.04 pm
Another has been snagged in the net of @#%$^ yes...word is thingyed out to protect cirtain people *cough rochell cough*
Yes today was eh...im sick and the like so im all...ehhhhh...
I think im going to missoula with my family...damn..i wanted to go se something the 25th but cannot ...sorry....not that i was invited to it but hey it was an important thing in my family so i figured it must be the same for you (you know who you are!!!!)
The world seems to keep stopping in the middle of the worst moments...i had a moment during history in which i almost started to cry....eh the moment seemed to last an eternity..why i started to cry? i relised how much i cared for someone ive know since 4thish grade...and it sucked cause i knew he would never feel the same way back.
lie |
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2004 15 April :: 6.02 pm
MMMk...well im officialy tired...yeah got a hug from shannon conway today and talked to him...happy funfun.
1 truth |
lie |
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2004 14 April :: 10.27 pm
Im talking to dara and im happy....yeah i dunno im starting to have bi'ish thoughts...yeah
1 truth |
lie |
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2004 8 April :: 12.18 am
Lol...im going to buy a hard back of my journal.....yeah im weird...but it saves me time!
oh yeah LJ name for shell is sword_dancer626...yes i am a creature of habit
5 truthsooth sayers |
lie |
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2004 4 April :: 10.03 pm
You are the Secretive Mermaid. Perpetual beauty
that longs for legs to walk by the side of men.
You spend your time gazing at the stars and
whispering to the moon. You have little to no
freinds that breathe. Your freinds all missing.
You are sweet as syryp and kind as cake. There
are a handful of people and mermaids like you.
Would you rate my quiz I will keep it a secret?
What kind of mermaid are you? (Gorgeous Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
You have a Calm Soul! Being calm and cool is what
you do best. You collected thoughts and always
positive attitude make you very bright and
logical. When theres a problem, you know how to
approach it, and solve it. Your friends rely on
you on their problems, and your shoulder for
their crying. You are peaceful, and enjoy
nature and freedom. You rarely get angry and
hardly scream, which makes you good with kids.
You seem to be in tune with the world and if
anything goes wrong, you always bounce back.
What Kind of SOUL do you posses? (For Girls only) Incredible Anime Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla
Katana, chop enemies down with skill, speed and
accuracy. Katana's were made for warriors that
wanted to be fast and deadly like samurai
warriors. The Katana is very sharp and takes a
long time to blunt. (Please Vote)
What sword would you use (info and pics on swords as well)
brought to you by Quizilla
I personaly love katanas!
lie |
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2004 4 April :: 6.16 pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: hotel....
I started crying out of nowhere today ....like bamb...it was like i hit a brickwall....I relised that i have never known a time in my life with out ashley in it ..since like the 1 st grade....i just am so depressed latley......
My grandfather is really not going to live much longer...and he is one of the few grandparents who i actually talk to and ask about hie childhood and the like......
This was my first weekend in the past month that i got to sleep in on.....oh it was nice....hee
weird dream last night....i was standing in side the paiting by Dali of the elephants and the carrige type thing...but in the back ish corner there is this tower and city..and i went into the city where people were flinging themselves into this black pit...it was interesting....
lie |
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2004 3 April :: 6.26 pm
Saw nickos dad at districs...eh districs..saw ashley to....districs...ok if your peice you play for districs is in a minor key with flats you would deduct that it would sound flat right? well not according to my judge who openly admitted to having no musical training...eh yeah so i dont know how i did on my solo...eh.....
yeah im tired.
lie |
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2004 1 April :: 7.15 pm
:: Mood: depressed
well...
saw nicko and his group..they were really good....our group was...hmm...okish....now i find i have to go to palm thursday ...and i dont want to i dont want to do anything right now...due to depression.....and jess is right nicko is fuzzy...
Niki is worring me but we already know that....why am i so god damned whiney?
i need a vacation...where we donbt go see dieing relatives...or go work for relatives...eh...
lie |
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2004 31 March :: 11.16 pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: um...lots of stuff
well....
Tired as usual...and confused...by everything...i dont know why cant i see were im going ne more? im completly lost in my own god damned mine..cant draw...emotional blockage.....it started raining as i walked home and it was very calming...yeah rain is my favorite form of percipitation...its so refreshing and it cleans the dirt from the air.........
Wow......well i started crying today because niki is running away..or getting sent to her dads...and then i will have few people still here from years past...which is depressing....yeah.........
Debating with people over gay rights and the Passion is very tiring....
lie |
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2004 31 March :: 10.54 pm
You can be both .Changing like the wind
You change your mood very often it depends on your
surroundings and your momental feelings.
Its like you would have two persons in yourself
You are very intensive...very happy or very sad.
You have a life but its very tortured.
Find the balance and youll feel better
.But its not bad to be like this if you are good
mooded everyone loves you .
But when you get bad mood the whole world should
hide from you .
~Is your life a lie?-9 Results+Beautiful Pictures~
brought to you by Quizilla
img src="http://images.quizilla.com/C/coreina/1080319411_ilderaaaa1.jpg" border="0" alt="1">
BEAUTIFUL ICE PRINCESS/PRINCE .You need distance
between you and your partner in your
relationship. You are very difficult to get.
You have big requirements and this one you love
must try hard to get you. But after she/he melt
your heart she/he will be the most happy person
in the world. You need someone who shoes you
that you are special and it makes you feel
good to see that you are loved. She/He shall
know that you could easily get another
girl/boyfriend but you wont as long as you
love him. when she/he hurts you you will hurt
him too, but in general you dont get hurt. If
your partner cheated you ,you would react cold
and immediately (try to) forget him
PLEASE VOTE, I want to know what you think about my
quiz, I worked hard on it.You can always
message me or tell me how I can improve that
quiz. Ill sure write back.
~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~
brought to you by Quizilla
lie |
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2004 30 March :: 7.19 pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: um...my dads music..heh
well now that wasnt so bad...
I just got home from my first practice and only i think for my solo with a pianist.....yeah i was really tense but i now feel calm and relaxed because it was easy. My first weekend in a month is this comming up weekend....yes...happy! but yeah so my solo is on friday over at CMR at 3:54....yeah im still slightly nervouse...then on the 28 or 29 im going to try out for youth orchestra...eh i doubt myself to much though...
Gay marriges were my whole thing today...yeah...people need to relise one cannot use the bible for a defense against gay marriges because....not everyone is the same religion thus .....also not letting gay or lesbian couples get married because it is uncostitutional for those who wish to be married because it is in their way of persuit of happiness....yes jessika i know people can be happy not being married but still its wrong to say people cant get married cause they are the same sex...grrrr...no one can outlaw love it dosent work!
ok im done ranting...he......we get to walk to Lincon school and interview 3rd graders for a story. It'll be so cute!!!! ^.^
lie |
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2004 28 March :: 11.01 pm
:: Mood: devious
:: Music: Supervexin-Garbage
Prom was cool went to applebees for diinnner with taletha,christin and andrea dobs.......so yeah then went to prom...my hair was cute ...and yeah it took an hour so it better have been cute...butyeah saw ashley and jessika and all them all were very pretty....roxys dress was nifty..but yeah i was amazed at hom wany people were dancing...yes... but then i went home and pulled out the 50 bobypin in myhear and 10 rubber bands....i had a bottle of hair spray in my hair...but then i went to sleep and had a dream about the day we went snorkeling in hawaii but neways it turned out there were demonic dolfins and friendly sharks.....and i died in the water twas amusing
Got a cute pic of roxy and raab sitting in the feild of ballons at prom i hope it comes out. My ears are infected due to cheap earings..eh...yeah just did my personal essay..i hope Mrs.Gray dosne t send me to the counceler..eh..im so tired...but yeah got a cute pair of spank shorts and a pair that say kung fu all over them...cuteness!!!!
Something ive noticed...my girliness has increased many folds.....ok i was think ok going to the movies or having a movie party sometime soon or after easter...yeah i dont know.....heh i will ask gwen if she can have it at her house....lol....slight parinoia today......eh...my hair is slightly fried..eh sad...
1 truth |
lie |
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2004 23 March :: 9.52 pm
Tonya got arrested and so did her mom...and angela is back at home....yeah..its bad....
So yeah im bored......and yeah so Malicai is mad at me again only now cause im going out with Damon ...but shhhhh..its not working out for me...like im not attached and i dont have those feelings for him..but hey it pissed mal off..whish was kinda a plus for that....yes....
Ok solo comming up...um........Prom this saturday and the like..oh and i didnt get the job at the Amigo so im going to go look elswhere.....
Hmmm... i want to go to Kenya next summer. its 3,500 dollars and you work on a wild life preserve in schools com centers and medical centers for a mounth so yeah it shall be funfun! i just need to get enough money..eh...small obsticle.
2 truthsooth sayers |
lie |
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2004 22 March :: 11.37 pm
tired.......
Oh....tiredness....eh....went over to Denises and Joshes today with angela and tonya....sleep...but yeah so prom this weekend along with leaders group and church community service followed by babysitting....Malicai got me a Cetic Cross for my b-day...but now he is gone......um cattins was fun.......yes so my extream tiredness is keeping me from thinking......
Well im final 15 and my parents moved my curfew to 11pm on weekends and 9 on weekdays!!!!YAY!...so yes..longer updates soon...i hope
lie |
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