::
2004 7 February :: 6.10 pm
HEEEEEEOOOOOOHA.....yes...hypernishishness.....lol ok so i spent the night at ashleys and ronnies place and we were playing hacky with my new DIRTBAG!!!!!but yes but ronnie with his kung fu monkey feet kicked the wall and now is at the hospital getting it checked out..hehe stupid ronnie! ok not....bob
We had the swim meet at our pool so all gym/health classes got to hang in the feild house.....and we played hacky sack for 55 min! i was so happy i havent played hacky with more than 2 peeps in forever!!!!happiness....
We stayed up till 4....hehe....and then we where all going to go to sleep, i was on the couch downstairs and i could HEAR THEIR BED BOUNCING AND MOVING BACK AND FORTH......eh....*twitch* they were doing the nasty...lol
yes so headach....i want to do a movie/dance party due to the fact ive been excesively hyper...hee.......
NO CLASSES ON MONDAY NO CLASSES ON TUESDAY. Do doo dodododo
Mnah Mnah
Do doo dodo
Mnah Mnah
Do doo dododo dododo dododo
do do dodo do
Mnah Mnah.....
heh i sang that all day friday and here come clowns.. heee......we had a good day friday and today hasent been half bad!WEEEEEEEHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO....yes.....
lie |
::
2004 5 February :: 8.48 pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: Garbage
Damn woohu!
Yes....hmm....ok well life has been well interesting. Creepy dreams but nothing reall happens in them.....no more fantasy books for shelly...ive been dreaming them.....*twitch*...yes so math= Trinomails by grouping.English= practicing timed writes.History=Asia and Chinese and Japanese history. and science=Minerals/gems....orchestra=Night on Bald mountain/James Bond/March Joyouse and Andagio Cantabule......and i get out of fifth period tomaroow to eat pizza and practice....then i have no clases monday or tuesday...hee im special.....yes you all should come its going to be awsome! Tuesday at 7:00pm we will all be preforming as a symphony.It would be awsome if some of you guys came*cough cough*. Yes but yeah so im kinda tiredish....
Yesterday my dad made my eyes fill with tears of pride for my dad. We(my brother,me and dad) were going to grab some dinner and my dad saw this guy up at target with a sighn "Will work for food,on the road have no money." So we drove up to him and he says "Hey we are going to go grab some McDonalds.Want to come with?"
The guy said" Well i have to stay here"
"Well we can pick up something for you and bring it back for you" says my dad.
"That would be great"
"Ok so what do you want? Ahurger fries and a coffee?"
"Whatever you want to do man"
"OK we will be back in about 10-20 min"
"Thanks man"
So we pick him up a 1/4 lb with cheese a frie and a large coffee.Then my dad puts 5$ in the bag along with creamer and suger.Then we go back and give him the food and tell him about the shelter andwhatnot. When we get home my dad says"If he is still there tomarrow we'll invite over so he can get washed up and get his things clean"
so yeah im very proud of my father (even though he is yelling at me right now) but yeah so i was amazed cause i just relised how many times hes done stuff like that and hes never once said someone was a stupid bum or that he ever regreted doing something like that......yes....hmmm...
Last night i actually fell asleeep!before midnight...and i didnt wake up at 3:10am like usual.....heh i had to take 3 tylonal to do that!!!!but i felt soo goood the next day.
Ok i think it would be better to have a movie party instead of going to morp reason 1) cheaper reason 2)less stress....yes.....heh i dunno we need to talk about that.....so ......now i must go do math homework...oo yeah i read Wolf Queen today its like 200+ pages...it only took me today...ooo it was a good book!
lie |
::
2004 4 February :: 6.06 pm
hmmmmm......MAGGIE HAS MY "THE LION ,THE WITCH,AND THE WARDROBE" HARDBACK BOOK I GOT FROM MY GRANDPARENTS.....SSSSSHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT....yeah shes had it since 6nd grade...and i just remebered yesterday whilemy brother was talking about the book...DAMN DAMN DAMN!....ooo and she has to "talk to me"....heh i think liz scared her when she fliped out cause jessica strending told liz so liz was all*wacha!*.....people!!!.......
Prep assembly tomarrow....o joy....::drags hand down the side of her face::as if we dont have enough of those.......eh!.....
Faced with myself.
Dark brown eyes of an ancient forest,
tears of an endless storm.
Skin the color of fields of grain,
flat moles like the constellations across the night sky.
Lips a rosy pink.
Nose like a hill.
Hair the color of cherry wood, wavy like the sea.
Skin weathered by the beating sun, the constant winter and never-ending tears.
Chubby cheeks, white teeth.
But why does this all seem like a mask?
Covering up who I truly am?
Why cant people look past this exterior to me?
They see my golem, my puppet that I have created,
nothing more nothing less.
Lost in this dream that repeats.
I wake up and I see me.
What does everyone else see?
They can’t see,
all blinded by life and society.
Never wanting to look deeper,
never able, or is it I who stop them?
Is it I who stop them?
Do my walls intimidate them?
These walls built by years of pain?
Disappointment, isolation and heartbreak?
Do they dare not travel deeper for fear of becoming lost like me?
A prisoner to myself I am.
But I didn’t do this,
the walls came up themselves.
They grew and grew and grew and grew into this inescapable labyrinth,
That even I have fallen prey to?
Or do I push them away in fear of…
of opening up and being known?
Does the thought of being known truly frighten me?
Trying to escape myself,
is like trying not to breath.
Does no one see my struggle?
Do they not see me falter?
Or do they not care?
In the center of this maze is my heart.
Small and afraid of love,
rejecting it from everyone,
“ You need no one,” it says
“ You are doing fine on your own”, it proclaims.
But for once my heart is wrong.
For it is not my heart talking but my mind.
My walls are weaker now that I understand.
Its time for me to take my stand
To knock down the walls,
Till ultimately I will once again,
And for the last time in spite.
Be faced with myself.
haha new poem i wrote now you feel compeled to tell me what you think dont you.yes you do.you have no choice so quit whining....EVIL DICTATORSHIP OF MY JOURNAL!!!!!!!!!!!heh.....i have issues....they are caled " insane people weekly".......i dont dream of suger plum faeries,visions of world domination dance in my head!!!!!!WHY CANT I BE ANGRY?..................ooook
Night Angel
Please rate this quiz I worked really hard on the
pics and everything thanks and I hope that you
have had fun
NEW!! Which Angel are you?(pics for anyone/14 outcomes!!)
brought to you by Quizilla
Peace. You Truly Desire Peace. Just relaxing
somewhere calm with a light breeze against your
cheecks is our ideal of pefect. You don't like
to start fights, but instead, end them without
using violence.
PLEASE RATE
What Do You Truly Desire? *PICS*
brought to you by Quizilla
lie |
::
2004 3 February :: 11.45 pm
LOL
Wow today was interesting....lets see...hmm served my detention ...in which howard talked about baily and sarah bright...yes no time!
ok so i had a covo with nicko across the gym using no words! that was fun.i kept laughing at stuff and everyone was like wha? Yeah i had more fun doing that for a few secs than watching the game.
I saw justin and yeah he gave me a tour of CMR then as we were walking back to the gym i stepped on the skull thingy......lol i kinda feel bad cause yeah but hey already done cant change that.
sleep....yay im actually tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7 truthsooth sayers |
lie |
::
2004 2 February :: 10.56 pm
heh..yes detention for shelly for not bringing her book the day we turned in our work books....*raises right eyebrow* uh haaaaaa....yes stupid mrs howard.....yes today i told maggie im willing to be civil with her because im tired of wasting my breath argueing with her......
cleaned ashs house today...yes.......mondays.......why do i even bother getting up?
Super bowl was fun...ash and i picked teams to root for so we could throw chips at eachother for the entire of the game...and pop...and mms....and pancakes.....hhheeeee that was funny...
science = test on stuff i already studied on my own
math= stuff i actually understand
history= bitchy teacher who let kelsey miller slide w/o a detention even though she forgot her book.
english= a 50 line poem and creative writing...yay
lie |
::
2004 31 January :: 9.49 pm
:: Music: FeFEDobson-Bye bye boyfriend
ok im kinda pissed at the comp.....gggggrrrrrrrrr.........it went all blah after a really long update was typed...yes so i have the urge to go buy a sword and cross bow
i had another interesting dream...eh:
Gwen ,Roxan,Nick,Jessika and i are all sitting in a circle in big comfy chairs around a table with a black candel with a purple flame,sipping raspberry italian sodas and discussing god and religious views. All of a sudder I start speaking tongues,Gwen=Pig latin,Jessika=Hebrew,Roxy=German and Nick=Latin but we all still understand what each of us are saying. Then the room fades away into a bright white plain and then when it fades back in we are sitting at this round table with 100+ people from history who are the gratest minds of the world in the middle of stond hendge. Jessika stands up and the present her with an amulet made of amethist and tell her she controls the winds then they whisper something.after they whisper it streams of electricity start jumping around her arms. The do this to gwen(Amber=Light),Nick(Emerald=Plants/trees),Roxy(Diamond=Water) and then me (ruby=fire).The word they whisper was dijin(Dee-JIN). The the say in unison"You now are the bearers of the elments.You must use these gifts wisely for you are humanitys legs now.After your tasks are finished you will come and sit with us the Council of Greats." then without a word more the fade away leaving as standing in the middle of stone hendge completly baffeled.
"What the hell?" jessika says
"Dont ask me" gwen,roxy and i say in unison.and we all look at nick who has tears brimming his eyes.
"Stretch out your mind and feel."he says
"Wha-"
"JUST DO IT" he says forcefully so close our eyes and do what he told us and ...it was amazing...i dont know what everyoneelse felt but i could feel all fire/lava/magma in the galaxy.......all of it....every star....every volcano ...everything....I open my eyes and look around , we are back in the cafe and just stare at each other.Gwen is the first to speak"Did that just happen?"
i reach down and touch my amulet"I would thinkso orelse im touching somereally cold hard air" everyone looks down at their amulets.
"What about the electricity stuffs?"roxy says
we look down and on all of our right wrists are these bracelets that are tattoos of 5 circle all the same size and in a rowabove then is a saying in latin(which we all seem able to read)"United we stand,Divided we fall".they only differ in color and our colors are the center circle(for each person) and they are all glowish.
"Life just got fun,and interesting" i say with a grin.
Then we all have to go home still slightly in shock.We find out the glow dims as we get further away from one another.
Once i got home i decided to see what i could do.i could munipulate and create fire.....happy camperness!...so i think everyoneelse was able to do that with there element. then i woke up.
Fundream...and when i woke up my wrist felt all warm and fuzzy...yes....hehheh...me and my dreams....
lie |
::
2004 30 January :: 8.27 pm
Guess who i got in a fight with today? oh and before i say anything i didnt prove her.
MAG: just tell me josh it wont matter
ME:then why should he tell you(not in anyway insulting)
MAG: Shut the fuck up you stupid fat bitch.
Me: Rigth back at you
MAG: this comming from someone who is 1-- pounds overweight
Me: I may be overweight but your EGO suffocates people.
MAG:Is anyone having trouble breathing?
ME: yeah i am.
Mag: *mubble mubble mubble*
so i got up and left ,i was actually amazed i didnt cuss her out but i thought it would be to barbaric......yes so i hope she chokes on a dorrito or something....
HEH but other than that i have had an almost perfect day its been really nice actually.
yes so maggie is all eh and i personbally wont care if we ever become "friends" again but i will be CIVIL to her....she atleast deserves that...or maybe pity.....
Everything"
Ayo ladadayo
Ayo ladadayo ladeeda
Sometimes I give in to sadness
Sometimes I don't
Doo doo doo doo
At times I'm part of the madness
Sometimes I won't
Give in to you
You see in a way
I have been drifting down a river
To nowhere
And you've given me nothing
But if you're ready to be my everything
If you're ready to see it through this time
And if you're ready for love then
This I will bring
But I'm not gonna wait for you forever this time
Ladeeda ayo
ladadayo ladeeda
At times I feel myself smiling
At times I'm not
Doo doo doo doo
Yeah yay
What's with the guilt that you styling baby
Talk don't look good on you
You see in a way
I have been looking for a reason to go there
And you're leading me nowhere
And if you're ready to be my everything
If you're ready to see it through this time
And if you're ready for love then
This I will bring
But I'm not gonna wait for you forever this time
Ladeeda ayo
ladadayo ladeeda
Are you waiting for a special occasion
To give me your heart
Cause I need a little confirmation
To make a real start
Don't wait till it's too late
Are you ready to show me?
Are you ready to love me?
You see in a way
I have been drifting down a river
To nowhere
And you're giving me nothing
And if you're ready to be my everything
If you're ready to see it through this time
And if you're ready for love then
This I will bring
But I'm not gonna wait for you forever this time
And if you're ready to be
Ready to be my everything
And if you're ready to see it through this time
If you're ready for love then baby
This I will bring
But I'm not gonna wait forever this time
ladayo ladadayo ladeeda
eh science is interesting we are doing geology......it would have been interesting last year.....math.......i actually understand!!!!!...history we are just getting into early china/ottomans/Mungals......and in English im ahead in the odessey.....its a good book!im on Book 13...yes.....robot I is kinda boringish but i need it for class....
i saw a picture of the ocean the other day and i had a fun flash back....We (peeps on Hawaii trip) are all on this boat and the sun is setting....to my left is the outstreached blueish green ocean to my left to my right is the beautiful island ....ooo and then the poor tour guide Bev i think is trying to walk on the boat......that woman had NO sea legs whatso ever...but i remember being exausted.....ooo that was an Amazing day.......i remeber thinking to myself that i could finaly just STARE out onto the open ocean as far out as i could look and not see anything...no fog was in the way,no land just the ocean...and i felt really at peace with myself.....it was a nice thought to have during the middel of the day....it was a perfect moment...course that was a kick trip so.......hee i got a pick of Nicko pointing up in a "paniced" look by a jutting rock cliff/mountain thing..and right next to him is a little sighn that says watch for falling rocks!!lol
lots of memories from that trip! Body surfing , poke, the clear blue ocean, the culture,lava ,hanging with Mrs.Thomas,Brittney,Emily ,Amber ,Shauna and Nick...ooo such a good time!
ok im back from my trip!Hee....yes "And all i have to offer you is this/just a stupid little love song."
8 truthsooth sayers |
lie |
::
2004 29 January :: 10.29 pm
Yeah....heee i got Fee Fee Dobson..yeah yeah i know but i like her!!!!cant help it.....yeah so maggie is blaming me and saying i blamed her for the downfall of the KB team....eh bitch!!
LOL so many things running through my head.....good luck nicko for tomarrow....and eh something else im supposed to remeber...oooooooooo......i know now.......eh im stupid i need to go read some more of the odessey......yeah so woohu is a brat right now.
lie |
::
2004 28 January :: 8.34 pm
:: Music: um...music i cant identify...
hmmmmmmmm....
Today was an interesting day...heard stuffs about Nick....got abandoned by my Knowledge Bowl team......i knew Maggie would eventually bail because she is maggie....but no Gwen and Jessika followed......eh i know i sound like a total bitch but oh well cause today has seemed to spiral down to complete shit.
By 4th period i just stopped putting on lip gloss or chapstick due to the fact it kept crystalizing to my lips.......
Yes stupid guys at Health class......oh and then Taletha pointing out bluntly i needed something else to do in my life besides homework and arguing.......people need to be tagged.....then watched......oh wait our gov already does that...
Tuesday was ok, we won by default in KB and since we finished so early I and Josh Barone had to wait so we went up to onbe of the practice rooms and Josh played some music from Return of the King off the top of his head...it was really nice....yes i really like the way pianos sound...but yeah so he threw together that and then we discussed Rhapsody in Blue which he got on monday....31 pages hand written,heh
My hands are cold again....eh i was really hyper in Science today and tuesday...why? because i no longer have Gym to expend my energy in so i can now spend it annoying pandis to tears......:P........yes i dunno ive been thinking about alot latley......
Talked to the Associate Principals secritary....yeah she dosent know if you can bring Guests ....she said she only thinks you can do that at PROM not MORP..... hmmm makes you wonder no?
Yeah so Kelsey Tutel told me something strange which is prolly a lie but i guess i will address that to the person.....eh yeah she probly is lieing but it cant hurt to ask.....
Incase no one has heard there are some bad comp viruses and worms going around so be carefull of your e-mail.
2 truthsooth sayers |
lie |
::
2004 26 January :: 8.47 pm
:: Music: Diva opra-%th element
eh
Eh depression.....i have been all blah all day and have lost my bit of self confidence i had left.....damnit .....and now im complaining about it AGAIN......if i wernt me i would tell myself to shut up!rar.....we got a new work book for world esentials.....brett is in my math class now and i started electrics....eh i feel like a complete dupp.....
i feel so %$&*(^# useless, my grades are slipping....and i cant find niki...which makes me want to cry. grrrrrrrrrr .......eh depression....really....fucking...sucks....
blah blah blah blah....its all i ever fricken say.....*smacks head on computer desk several times*........shiiiiiiiitt......eh...grrrr
Dark magician. You love the dark because of it's
beauty and just the life that no-one else sees.
Mysterious, calm, quiet... But that doesn't
mean you're not friendly!
Please rate ^^
What kind of dark person are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
heh go figure...
2 truthsooth sayers |
lie |
::
2004 25 January :: 4.58 pm
:: Music: Enya
Long baths can do wonders, the water was so hot that when i put my arm on the side of the tub or was washing my hair my skin was steaming......ahhh my shoulder no longer hurts!!!hasppy camperness......yes so now i hafta talk to the associate principles about letting Nicko and Ashley come! yes more people...the nicko and ash thingy isnt forsure it depends on the associates and nicko and ashley still.......hehehe ski trip the 7 ,concert stuff 10&11 then on the 27 morp all in february.
im going to go read now....
lie |
::
2004 25 January :: 12.20 am
BOSS PARTY
Ok before i start i must say everything would have been better if (a) jessika ,roxy and gwen had been there too and (b) if we had more room....yes
THE PARTY WAS BOSS..yes... we watch some of monty pithon holy grail until i told the movie to stop and it DID....eh i did that last night to....then we watch some potc...and then i got bored and we wernt really watching the movie so we went upstairs, did the cha cha and the long cool wooman dance thingy....fun fun! then went into my room and did blacklight dancing for about 2 hours...or like 1 hr and 45 min but yeah it was the kinda dancing you could just get lost in..i enjoyed it very much...last i can remeber dancing like that was the 8th grade graduation social.....yes....but dancing was soooo calming and relaxing...but now im sweaty....ew....we fogged up the windows in the living room and my room...lol
i cleaned up afterwards and now i am eating chips and typing this...hee this was a very good night...now i shall go shower then go sleep cause im beat...hehe
bob
2 truthsooth sayers |
lie |
::
2004 24 January :: 5.23 pm
arg...first movie party of the year and 2 peeps arnt comming and one will be late....eh and i have a massive headach due to alot of stuff.....and my shoulder hurts!!! damn the world.....heh....morp....i wish to go but no one,alas,wishes to accompany me and that would suck majorly...bryan is now officialy being ignored because he is a walking ass...*twitch* yeah i had found out yesterday i suck at drawing....eh no technique....*twitch* that kinda destroyed my little bit of selfesteem left...but only after i relised roxy was right....the house is now spik and span.......
slight depression....eh empty feeling/suffocation feeling= me.....*twitch*......eh
lie |
::
2004 23 January :: 3.52 pm
twitch
You are a PHOENIX in your soul and your
wings make a statement. Huge and born of flame,
they burn with light and power and rebirth.
Ashes fall from your wingtips. You are an
amazingly strong person. You survive, even
flourish in adversity and hardship. A firm
believer in the phrase, 'Whatever doesn't kill
you only makes you stronger,' you rarely fear
failure. You know that any mistake you make
will teach you more about yourself and allow
you to 'rise from the ashes' as a still greater
being. Because of this, you rarely make the
same mistake twice, and are not among the most
forgiving people. You're extremely powerful and
wise, and are capable of fierce pride, passion,
and anger. Perhaps you're this way because you
were forced to survive a rough childhood. Or
maybe you just have a strong grasp on reality
and know that life is tough and the world is
cruel, and it takes strength and independence
to survive it. And independence is your
strongest point - you may care for others, and
even depend on them...but when it comes right
down to it, the only one you need is yourself.
Thus you trust your own intuition, and rely on
a mind almost as brilliant as the fire of your
wings to guide you.You are eternal and because
you have a strong sense of who and what you
are, no one can control your heart or mind, or
even really influence your thinking. A symbol
of rebirth and renewal, you tend to be a very
spiritual person with a serious mind - never
acting immature and harboring a superior
disgust of those who do. Likewise, humanity's
stupidity and tendency to want others to solve
their problems for them frustrates you
endlessly. Though you can be stubborn,
outspoken, and haughty, I admire you greatly.
*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla
Heh as always.
GRRR math test yesterday wasnt good......i failed it.....with like aa 54%...oo i dislike math with a passion i understand it but.....im stupid.
Party,ashleys,clean house....soo much going on....long hot bathtonight and early bed...or not ...i got my new ID so yeah and well i was thinking about something last night and confused myself but then rembered and it all became clear.
The world ,in less than 80 years, will either destroy itself or...it will shoot forward. But those two paths seem to be one or the other no middle and they are the extreams....the fossil fuels have been almost completly depleated,and waste seems to be building up everywhere....(i dont understand why they just dont make everything biodegratavle..) and the polution is so bad that they need fog lights during the DAY for planes.....eh hint hint people......oh and dont forget that fact that a new feul has been developed that lasts longer and creates less polution and the guy wont mass produce it! due to the fact he has a contract with a gas company saying they will pay him not to sell his feul.......the economy and politics of earth will destroy everyone....goddamnit i wonder what caused somepeople to be so friggin stupid!.......my drawing is almost done!!!!!!!!!!
ok i just read the end of my thing and relised i said what it said but didnt know it...
2 truthsooth sayers |
lie |
::
2004 22 January :: 8.01 pm
:: Music: garbage-shut your mouth
HEH I GOT AN 87 ON MY HISTORY TEST.....AN 87!!!!!!!!!!!yeah me and history = eh grades...i beat paul with my score and had the highest score in the class..i was FIRST in something! ok i can now die happy...heh. Party shall be fun! if any questions just call me yeah so im kinda tired my math test was my last one for the day and i had a tiny little panic attack...eh they dont happen often but it hurt.....
picture is almost done im happy with it!heh sleep!!!!!!ashley blond is back so we are decorating her house on base and shopping!!!!!!!
lie |
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