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2005 14 May :: 4.25 pm
:: Music: radio
Yeah so friday i was in art class and crossed my legs like one leg ontop of the other...and accidently went all the way ap ryans leg in the process....yeah...it was bad.....then we all went out and burnt snowflakes...hehe..
Christinas b-day was fun...she wasnt acting the entire time so it was cool!
Im really tired right now...eh....sleep or maybe ill go out...i kinda want to go rollerskating or something...i worked outside for a bit toay...it was nice and warm...then it got cloudy...grrrr.....im gonna go clean my room now! Oh and i got my cell...yay!!!!!
lie |
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2005 8 May :: 8.20 pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: radio
So not much to update....someone took some affirmative action for me concerning ryan...now everything is strange...eh
Nick cut off a large part of his head....i mean hair...it was weird.....he kinda reminded me of a G. I Jo.......lol....we didnt recognize him when he walked in at Applebees..lol
So other then michelle and her boy obsessions flux not much is happening...oh i am getting my Cell on wednesday or thursday!!!!YAY!
lie |
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2005 2 May :: 8.29 pm
:: Music: ...
hmmm
So i went home today cause i was feeling like total crap....kinda like now....but it was worth it.....
Im gonna tell Ryan about my crush on him soon...but i still am slightly tenative about the whole thing...idunno it'll maker things akward and the like...eh...maybe i wont tell him.....
This weekend myu boobs became the community boobs...i was groaped so many times it wasnt even funny....eh....BUBBLE!!!!....so yeah....
Other then anything to do with guys im pretty good.....AMANDA LEAVES WEDNESDAY!!!!!....YES! the hoar will be gone...forever!!!!!Mwahahahhha....yea...little bit of happiness....one less person who truly pisses me off....
lie |
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2005 30 April :: 9.22 pm
yeah...
Ok…so today I felt like the hunchback of Notre Dom….yeah….eh…..So the Ryan thing…I kinda want it to go away…whats the point of having a crush on a guy who is graduating…..eh….have you ever smelt guy Curve?…oh…..my….god….that stuff smells amazing….and he was like saturated in it on Friday…I almost died….yeah i know typical teen talk…eh….
I noticed I morphed….ive become a Roxica….crap…its now bugging me….i make noises like Roxy and whine like Jessika…lol
My comp is having trouble keeping up with me today…? Why ? I do not know….
So im probably going to take some affirmative action with the Ryan thing and tell him….like the last day of school….then I’ll run away down the hall cause im stupid like that…eh…
So not much is new cept that….um…im not to terribly depressed anymore….i want to go shopping sometime soon….like at old navy or downtown or something so…
I’ve noticed I start a lot of journal entries with “Ok…”.eh
lie |
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2005 23 April :: 9.45 pm
Ok…so for those of you who believe Michelle to be the dumbest person on the earth…your day has come…because she has just done the stupidest thing EVER…..so yeah..I was at MAI…at the mixer….and I put my purse and stuff I bought while going around town in Missoula on a table…..*smack*….I went back to go pick it up later….and someone had stolen my wallet….which had my ID and bison blue card and gift cards and all that great stuff and like 5$ in it…..and my stuff I had bought…..like a tea strainer and a cd and stuff…..ARG!!!!!!!…shoot me now so I don’t bring anymore stupidity to the human race…gah……so yeah…they didn’t take any makeup or body spray….so I immediately walk outta the gym…and don’t even make it down the hall until I start crying because Im thinking of how my parents are going to turn me inside out for loosing my base ID….then all this stuff happens and we look in like the bathrooms and stuff and the janitor finds my wallet in the back of the up stairs boys bathroom……..the only things left in it are my school and base ID’s then some other stuff…but they took all the stuff that had like no money on it ( gift cards…yeah…I kinda collect them…)and some sentimental stuff….it was a relief to get my ID’s back…but I was still…really pissy and I felt totally violated….and stupid….i still wanna cry because im so ashamed and embarrassed of my incompetence……eh
So past that it was an ok trip…well not really but I can BS to myself all I want. I got to know some people better…like Rochelle….we got along amazingly well ..it was nice……but the I realized how two faced Christine is…and that made me sad….she was like a friggin chameleon the entire trip…and she was doing it for the wrong reasons…and all she did was whine about Colton and the like…she made me mad cause she kept saying me MADE you do his homework or he MADE her stay up till 4 am…..i told her everyone has a choice no matter what….so I was kinda pissed about her attitude…..so yeah….by the end of the trip I was like back off I don’t wanna talk to you anymore…..
Eh…im in the crappiest mood today…it sucks…but it’s a back lash….my eyes still hurt…..then people were screaming all the way back….eh……I swear I had a hangover this morning…from what I dunno…but my head hurt…..and I drank a lot of water and took advil and it would go away…so I was kinda bitch today….oh well….they’ll survive…
+ side…..met some awesome people!!!!
lie |
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2005 18 April :: 6.25 pm
:: Music: Garbage CD Bleed Like Me
well...
So today was um....interesting...pretty good to say the least......only weird thing was my large dislike for my crush on Ryan....i dunno it was weird....i kinda dont want to like him anymore...i think thats what is depressing me slightly.....the whole i want but wont ever be able to have...
I like the New Garbage CD!!!!!...yeah...be quiet....I think my favorite songs are Metal Heart and Sex Is Not The Enemy...i dunno why...eh
So its raining right now...and that makes me happy...:) i like rain...but my hair curls in this weather...lol...like wavy curl/lazy spiral curl....i hope it rains tomarrow so i can go to school with my hair like this...; )
I leave for missoula on friday! Happyness...
Are you guys going to apply for Leadership High School?..you should....if you have time.....
My hands were bleeding thisweekend from sewing and gardening and playing my cello...lol
lie |
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2005 16 April :: 8.28 pm
OK so my comp is being a brat…..im doing this update on word then transferring it to my journal……
So the past couple of days …little things seem to bug everyone…including yours truly….im kinda having trouble handling large group get-togethers…like each time we do a really big one I tend to get close to crying a couple of times….i dunno…I think its an attention thing….and it annoys me that I do that…….
Today was left in charge cause my parents went to Helena for the day….yeah…im tired. So my bro goes out to play and I tell him to be back at 2 pm on the dot….at about 2:20 I got out and look for him…..hes still at the college playing…he then blames his friends for still being there (?) Yet he had a watch and knew what time he had to be home….right…well….so I tell him he cant go anywhere until he gets a better attitude ….he then throws a fit……so I leave for a 15min bike ride so as not to strangle him….and while im gone my mom calls……the only time I leave the entire time….my mom calls……* slaps the world in the face* She talks to Michael who is totally spiteful then….he tells her it was his friends faults he was late and that I went to the mall….? Huh? * Strangle little brother *…..yeah….so to blow off more steam I got out and work in the garden….i had to weed it..it was nice…the smell of earth is calming…that and ripping things outta the ground is hard work…but now we have a clear plot for out garden this summer!!!!….i think im allergic to grass… * itch itch *
So Thursday….eh…..Colton…..touches way to much….soooo far outta my comfort zone…..eh……and jess strending was kinda pissing me off….so was shayla…shes become out rightly mean…..other then that not many problems….but I thinn k I will veer from large group get-togethers…like 6 or 7 …and depending on who is there….eh….i felt like I was gonna explode Thursday …..sorry all…im not a tell everyone my problems kinda person……welll other then my journal…but that’s cause it is a journal….kinda its use…..
I got the new Garbage CD Friday! I love it….they sound way different for most of the songs….its refreshing …….
I want to go camping up at holter this summer…it’ll be fun….
I have a really bad headache today…it wont go away
Jessika: Squak…..* loud fizzing sounds *
Michelle: What was that?
Jessika: I opened a CREAM soda.
lie |
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2005 12 April :: 6.54 pm
:: Music: Going crazy
Real words
Ah...the safety of woohu....im sad
and i hate it.....
im tired of all of this
im tired of being second best
im tired of always walking on fucking egg shells.......grrrr
I dont want to go to helena this weekend ...i just wanna stay home and have a few friends over...to chill and watch movies...and i dont want to have to go and hang with my little bro and some 14 year old my mom promised me to! MY GOD!!!!! I told hey 2 weeks ago i didnt want to go to helena...i told her i had stuff to do...but no....she couldnt take it...she couldnt understand a simple request to stay home .....then she got mad at me for not wanting to go....its so frustrating...then....THEN she told some of her peers ...sure michelle with let your daughter hang with her for two days...NO NO NO...im so tired of her always volunteering me for random crap...oh and to top it off today...i lost my mowing job.......so now i barly get 15 $ every two weeks...so im getting a real job...
Why cant she just stop.....just stop doing anything to me or putting me into weird situations because its fricken convienient for her....im not in the mood this week to play big sister to a random person i dont even know...i dont even want to go on a fricken over night family trip...im buisy with school work and my new science project and not killing everyone....eh......and i only get this way now around them...at school im fine...but when it comes to being with my brother who is being a major brat (along woith jessikas broand sis and roxys sis) my mom being a crack head and my dad being depressed i tend to get a weeeee bit STRESSED!........*sigh*
Ryan, Justin, Steven, Jackie,and Adolph are graduating this year.....shh but im not going to be terribly sadf...maybe over justin leaving...hes been my friend forever...but other then that...not really sad......
BOOM
lie |
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2005 28 March :: 7.28 pm
:: Music: the x
shhheeeeewa
Yeah..so i had an extreamly michelle moment today...here is the story.........
Walking in Home Depo with dad and see ryan...wave walk over...dad talks to sales pertson...walk off with ryan...talk....turn corner into an thingy and trip on display thingy.....faceplant....in front...of .....crush.....eh....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!...he says (through a laughing mouth) "Oh that was cute, you squeaked"....me..." That wasnt cute....wait...what?!" end convo...stand up and dad asks what happened....
I have a large red mark on my forehead....eh....DAMN...
Bright side of all...we finished the board...YAY!!!
Yeah...im off my boy hiatis.......here summer comes!!!!!!yaya!
heee...im hyper today...mwaha!
lie |
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2005 16 March :: 8.09 pm
:: Music: Eisly-Marvelous Things
ITS my sweet 16!!!
"Marvelous Things"
I awoke the dawn
Saw horses growing out the lawn
Ah ah .....
I glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings
Oh what marvelous things
Ah ah....
Dark night...hold tight, and sleep tight
My baby
Morning light...shall burst bright
And keep us here safely
I followed a rabbit
Through rows of mermaid entwined Shrubbery
Ah ah....
Oh what marvelous things but, they are, they are, they are
Giving me the creeps
Dark night...hold tight, and sleep tight
My baby
Morning light...shall burst bright
And keep us here safely
Oh...lying in the sun
Everday feeling all of the magic in life
You might find the wonder.....
Dark night...hold tight, and sleep tight
My baby
Morning light...shall burst bright
And keep us here safely
Morning light...shall burst bright
And keep us here safely
Ah ah.....
Happy B-day to me!!!!!!...ok im done.....
So i really like this song....yeah its nice....
FOR JESSIKA:
album: "Room Noises" (2005)
Thats the album name....
I want the cd.....ok now i hgave to call everyone and ask what kind of pizza they want...
lie |
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2005 12 March :: 8.28 pm
:: Music: radio.....
GRRRRRRRRRRR....
Im grounded from the phone....just stab me .....the week of my birthday...when plans are still happening....and i need to get a hold of everyone....they ground me off the phone......
So yeah...im really pissed but not showing it .....so i dont get incarserated over my birthday...eh...i really want to cry because im at home alone...like w/o friends...and everyones at jessikas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....eh....lonliness....shhhh....im ok i promise......*twitch*......i cant take it....im social creature.....A SOCIAL CREATURE YOU HEAR ME!!!?!?!?....eh
My sister called and said i didnt need to babysit.....my only event of the night......taken from me......
I've taken a liking to sitting in my bowl and listening to music....its calming...bnut my parents always disturbe set calm....
*sigh*......i need to be alone...out of my house.....on the shores of ireland or the moors of ireland...anywhere....ireland just soundsreally good right now...
I turn 16 in 4 days and im no longer excited......i was till today...but the thought of the family fights getting more numerous and worse makes me want to die.......right now.....i am tired of my parents yelling at eachother all the time.....they put on such a facade when people are around and then turn to snakes as soon as they leave.... dont get me wrong...i love my parents very much....but when one of the say something to point h\out more flaws every time i leave in the morning....it just sucks....it ruins my day....and then im really self concious all day long....and very irritable....and then i start crying for no reason...randomly...like not actually crying but i get frustration headaches all day...
Ive noticed alot of things latley......like....im starting to nnoy myself....its weird...when im introduced into a group of people ive never met ill take on their habits and stances...untill we part...then i go back to who i am..and it bugs me...i dont like mimicing people....it bugs me.....
i found a dress i want to make...in a way it goes with the theme of prom....mid-evil....it should be fun...but i might not go...i want a date this year...but im cool with not having one...
i think i would die without "..." yeah...addiction... i dont even notice how often i use them..well i didnt until now...eh..
So the school astronomy club is donating 100$ to Kimmerlee and I and the city one is also donating money...im happy and flattered....its cool that they have recognized us for out work....
lie |
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2005 7 March :: 6.47 pm
So not much is new....im tired today...and really bitch...thankyou mr. fisher.....
I went to bio this moring to find another award sitting on my desk....it helped my day greatly...
Prom is creeping up and im excited...yet not.....hmmmm..i still need to fix my dress....roxanne!!!!!
My dad gave me a motercycle!!!!!!!!!!!!! and im getting my permit on my b-day!!!heee.....im excited.....so yeah.....thats my life....ahhh
lie |
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2005 2 March :: 9.18 pm
:: Music: ahahhah
ha!
So yeah...i havent updated in a while.....
Regional science fair:
This happened yeaterday, March 1st Tuesday, I took 3rd in the entire fair and got severak other awards. Im invited to compete in State, it'll be in Missoula and im excited. Since i got 3rd im alternate if one of the two girls ahead of my become incapacitated or die ........to go to internationals! So yeah...im cool with it....i was only 3 points away from taking 2nd...im ok with that so.....yeah....Now im on break away from all that....
On March 18th....Thats when im having my b-day party...its very restricted due to lack of room...so ...shhhhhhhh.....it'll be from 7 pm to 12 midnight....then basically anyone who wants to can stay the night...it'll be fun...and we'll do pizza...and ofcourse there will be DANCING.....and prolly SAW or The Grudge.....i nono.....so yeah...ill be calling everyone thisweek to tell them...you see im afraid of people being mad at me for not inviting them to my b-day...and im gonna feel bad...ehhh!!!!!!!
Yeah..so today...ryan said i wasnt allowed to have a boyfriend....i was like wha..? So yeah......im confused....MY SISTER MOVED INTO THE NEW APPARTMENTS BY MY HOUSE....AND ITS FULL OF HOT JETTER MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and im done with that....
Ashleys baby is getting soooooo big...he's a sweetie......she might bring him over for a little bit....i dunno....so it should be interesting.....
Saturday we are going to go see Taming of the Shrew...i think...hmmm....i dunno....*call jessika*
2 truthsooth sayers |
lie |
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2005 20 February :: 9.43 pm
:: Music: An array of songs stolen from jessika
IM BACK
Ok so im back from Seattle.....it was great...but now im sick...eh...yeah....tis annoying. I have regional science fair on the 1st of march...then state....arg.....im excited but tired of being soo buisy...
So this prom dress i have...yeah...its horribly small on me....i need to loose weight for it and add some things but it should be good for prom..im excited.
Im sad....i missed morp....AGAIN....im going to it next year, come hell or high water...im going to go!!!!
So right now im downlaoding the new virsion of msn...and its taking forever...eh....
I have the strange urge to watch Thumbalena!I will...tonight...later...i hope..
Dear Diary M2M
Dear Diary,
Something good happened today
He finally called me by my name
I didn't know how to behave
What to say or do
I was so confused
Dear Diary,
I wanna talk to him again
But whenever he is with his friends
He keeps trying to pretend
But I already see
The way he feels for me
CHORUS
What can I do?
Tell me what can I say
When do I let him know I feel the same way?
How can my feelings be so hard to show when
I really want him to know
Dear Diary,
He wrote some letters on his hand
It wasn't hard to understand
I figured I'm part of his plans
But now I'm in his heart
I don't know where to start
CHORUS
You're my secret hiding place
Where my private thoughts are safe
And just one look and he will see
What's inside of me
Welll....thats a group long forgotten by many...
Im excited for my b-day this year....it'll prolly be on the 12 or 13.....i dunno what we are gonna do.....prolly what we usually do....but we'll do more games...and it'll prolly be longer then usualy....lol....i want to have it from like 7- 12.....or 11....so we can do everything we want to... NO i am not inviting as many people as i did last year....that was the worst....eh...this years max is like 8 people...maybe 9....but no more....
I turn 16 in ....24 daYS!!!!!Sorry...its my sweet 16 and golden b-day! I know im stupid...leave me alone!!!!!
So yeah..i like ryan...alot...eh...one of the few guys ive actually been giddy over...like....its bad...*swoon*...ok...im better.....
*swoon*...too bad he'll never notice me like that.....ok really im done...
*swoon*....you didnt see that....
2 truthsooth sayers |
lie |
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2005 3 February :: 6.25 pm
:: Music: Hey Baby-No Doubt
Hmmm..
So we are preparing for the science fair...yeah...no where near prepared....grrrr.....
Stress.....moms comming home tomarrow....yay...i think....bah.
lie |
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