.

:: 2006 11 March :: 11.55am
:: Music: Elvis Presley

You're all so fake. It kills me. It should kill you too.

:: 2006 7 March :: 12.15pm

stacy: bdlaaaaa

hahahaha.....

:: 2006 4 March :: 6.44pm
:: Music: James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun.
Yes, I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So, I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over, but it won't stop there.
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart, you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
my heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Chorus:
Goodbye, my lover.
Goodbye, my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer, but when I wake
you can't break my spirit, it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me.
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the [mother] of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts, but now we're fine.
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

[Chorus]

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine, when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
when I'm kneeling at your feet.

[Chorus]

I'm so hollow, baby. I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

:: 2006 3 March :: 9.02am

soo.. there's some seroius talk about us moving to Tennesse sometime this summer. that would be the most wonderful thing.

i was talking to Keegan about it last night, and im not worried about leaving him, because more than likely, he'd come with us. i just hate michigan, and i hate cedar springs. i know that sounds bad because i was the red flannel queen, and i guess hate is to strong a word. cedar springs is my home, and no matter where i go, where i end up... it will always BE my home. and regardless of what anyone says, we will never FULLY get away, because this town harbors all of our childhood memories. we are who we are because we've lived in Cedar Springs, and i'm not ashamed to say i'm from a small town, because there is a "Cedar Springs" all over the U.S... what i hate is the routine of living in the same place all my life. what i hate is living in a town that is so closed minded and traditional. and what i hate is living in a town who's known for dollar stores and pizza places.

Tennesse on the other hand, is absolutely breathtaking. i've known that i wanted to live there since the 5th grade when we went on vaccation to the Smokies. i'm not a big city girl. i dont want to live in an expensive appartment for the rest of my life! i want (corny) a big back yard and a little yappy dog that barks at squirls bigger than it! i want a window FOR ONCE with a view. and i want and desperatly miss that feeling of connection with a power so much greater than myself when i look at the mountains. thats what i want. there's nothing here for me. after school... there's NOTHING here. i would have a hard time leaving my friends... but i'd deal.

the one person i could NEVER leave though, is keegan. at least not right now. not when he's my best friend and a big part of my life and quite possibly future. thats why if we leave, he'll leave. we're not about to give up on something so beautiful.

so.. perhaps this a goodbye to miserable winters and tanning salons?! i guess we'll see.......

:: 2006 1 March :: 9.02am

me and keegan got a hampster sunday.

his name is Sushi and just might be the cutest thing i've ever seen. (exageration... but awwww, hes the cutest)

we had our leadership convention monday, and last friday i had to send out the award of excellence. im so relieved to have two major things lifted off my shoulders. i was majorly stressin. but its all good now.

now if only yearbook would go smoothly.

moved fast

:: 2006 26 February :: 12.03pm

yesterday started out pretty rough.... but fortunately got better.

we went and saw brokeback mountain... it was really good. keegan didnt like it. whatever.

then we went to oasis. that was nice.

and then this morning he wouldnt make me french toast because he has to complain and whine about everything. so i had frozen waffles. i just want to be treated like a princess like other girls. their boyfriends make them breakfast. mine wont even cook.

:: 2006 23 February :: 5.44pm

Pathetic.
I officially hate our Senior class. Everyone is so immature. No one can simply shut up for two minutes and just listen. No one takes anything seriously. People just don't care. I figured people would want to be in the Yearbook. Especially since it's their Senior year, but obviously they don't. I love how people bitch and moan about not being in it or how it's all the same people every year. Well, if you're not willing to give us a quote or anything you have no reason to be whining. When the only people willing to say something not half retarded are in the class that's who is going to be in the majority of the Yearbook. Don't complain to us when you're the one being an idiot.

Now people are bitching about how Erika and I apparently "rigged" the Mock Elections to win. Riiiight. Because, oh my God..if two whole people that are in the class win an award it means we just decided to add extra votes to our name, even though three other people helped us count them. Hmm.. that sure is strange. And I really want to convince my Senior class that I am funny. Maybe if you took the time to vote, I would have had more competition and one of your popular friends would have won. It's just because you didn't win anything. Get over it.

Ugghhh. You all just bother me so much. I am so glad I am graduating. I hate who you've all become. Sure, I'm not perfect, but at least I have matured somewhat since 8th grade.

I have no idea how you're all going to make it in this world. Honestly.

18 _ | moved fast

:: 2006 22 February :: 8.52am

monday keegan and i saw date movie. with out a doubt, that was the dumbest movie i've ever seen in my entire life. we were about ready to walk out of the theater it was so stupid. never in my life can i imagine enjoying such a tasteless classless film as this one. honestly... anyone who dares wasting their money on that movie deserves to be shot. (we used the gift certificates his mom got us for christmas therefore nobody directly spent money on it.... therefore we're safe.... lol) seriously... i just had to update to warn everyone. its not funny, its disgusting... and made me sad for the actors and their now flawed careers.

yesterday i made cupcakes for the break dancers (they have practice every tuesday, thursday and saturday) and i drew little stick figured breakdancers on them with this gel stuff. awww. i shall be known as the crew mom. *giggles because im just the cutest*

hmm.. thats all i suppose.

4 _ | moved fast

:: 2006 20 February :: 1.08pm

i should get around and take a shower. i stayed at keegans last night.. now hes at work. he stayed at my house friday. basically this has just been an us weekend.. which is noneless than wonderful.

yesterday was another rampage game. no need to update about what an incredible amazing FANTASTIC boyfriend i have... i think everyone knows that. (really.. though, mines the best.... :)

we got lucky at my house, we only lost power for like 3 hours on thursday or whenever the storm hit, and then saturday morning we lost it for about 4 hours... but other than that... i've been warm, toasty, and using electronics over here.... hate me if you must. *smiles*

my moms boyfriend/friend/whatever he is is leaving today to fly back to conneticut... (thats where he lives) im sad hes leaving... but a little releived. why.. im not sure. probably because he's been over at our house like every day.

i dont think my hair is brown enough now. perhaps i'll get it dyed next time instead of putting alot of lowlights in. or perhaps i'll go back to being blonde. ehh... who knows.

the whole house is clean... and i made french toast when i got home today. how keegan can not like french toast is beyond me. loser.

its so nice not having to tan anymore. i hate tanning.. its so incredibly bad for your skin. the only time i EVER want to tan is for dances and my wedding.. lol. and seems how i only plan on getting married once and only have prom left.... my skin will stay youthfull and magnificant. so HA all you crispy skinned tan-o-holics.

i really dont have a single other thing to say now.

wooo school tomorrow. wooo 2 impossible deadlines to meet on friday.

this week WILL suck hardcore.

:: 2006 18 February :: 9.09pm

It's two degrees man and everything is still covered in ice, weak.
I got some wicked pictures of all the trees though. Here's my favorite.. [ I made my mom stop on the side of the road to get it, so I am glad it turned out! ]

Read more..

Anyway, I am so glad the power is back. It was truly miserable. Sammie and I were cracking out man. I'm not even going to get into details. All I have to say about not having power is...LAME.

I've hung out with Sammie for four days now. It's awesome, because she is so much like me that I don't get annoyed with her. She's bahmb dig and we're getting married. But, really...she's my best friend and I wish she could walk with me for Graduation. Too bad she's a sucky sophomore.

I saw Brokeback Mountain today. It was soooo good. I cried for the last ten minutes of the movie. I suggest seeing it, unless you're one of those homophobes that is closed-minded and needs to suck it up and get some balls. Yeah, that's right.

Break has actually been a lot of fun for doing nothing. I don't want it to end.

Well, I need to get going. I've got things to do.
(Like call you)

17 _ | moved fast

:: 2006 18 February :: 12.28pm

Sammie is pretty cool and so are you.

(I love being able to call you at any given moment again)

:: 2006 15 February :: 8.08pm

(I miss you all ready)
I am so happy. I can't get the smile off of my face ever since last night.

This is just what I needed.

:: 2006 15 February :: 8.56am

Swirl was wonderful.... except for the whole music part. pshh.. who needs music right? I'm sorry, but if you go to a dance, expect to hear hip hop music, because you really cant dance to much else. a few here in there is fine... but when the majority of the dance is comprised of rock songs, it kind of ruins it. we were really dissapointed when we left. the decorating was sensational though. it was absolutely gorgeous!

before swirl i suprised keegan... finally i SUPRISED the man. (man... hmmm sounds so.. weird...) i told him we were going out for dinner, but i actually had my room all set up with candles and roses and chocolate covered strawberries. i set up a table in the middle of my room with a red table cloth and confetti and "sparkling grapejuice" and wine glasses (because we're cute and LEGAL like that) and i had the note book playing with no sound on my computer just for an added affect. it turned out wonderful. it was the best dinner we've ever had together as far as "romantic" goes. after the dance we came back to my house and fell asleep.... we had to get up early for the rampage game.

then on sunday keegan brought me to bobbys around like 10 (he had to be to the arena WAY early) where i went back to sleep (what a gentleman.... sleeping on the floor so i could have the bed) BUT i couldnt fall asleep because i was to "awake" by that point.. but bobby wouldnt wake up.. so i had a lot of down time. which was nice.

the game was awesome. we had really good seats (free seats i might add) the routine was even BETTER this week. and once again... i have the coolest boyfriend in the entire world. not to mention like a zillion other adjectives that would HARDLY even do him justice.

now... Valentines Day.

first of all, Stacy.... I could just DIE im so happy right now. I just want to squeeze you and hug you and be all giddy and jump up and down and rent laguna. but i'll refrain.

last night was so wonderful. i went home and took a shower, then keegan came over and whisked me away. (giggles... OH and while i was at school i walked into my senate office second hour and there was a flower arrangement with tulips and roses... my favorites.... from the flower pace and chocolates... i was so suprised. i didnt think we were getting eachother anything for valentines day.. then he goes and does that. how sweeet. i was shocked when i walked in there.. it took me a minute for it to click that he had brought me flowers.) we went to this restaurant in Grandville called Kobe, its an Ichibon restaurant where they cook your food right at your table.

when we got there we had to wait like 20 minutes so we ordered sushi.. and OMG it was the best sushi i've ever had. we've had the same kind (philadelphia roll... which has samon, avacodo, creme cheese.. and then of course in a hand roll, rolled in rice... for all you "eewww raw fish" people out there) at terriyaki and sushi.. and this stuff just blew it away! so then we get seated, and you sit around a grill with nine people and he comes out and cooks all your meals RIGHT there. its so cool. he lit the grill on fire to make it hot and it just exploded up into the air.. he cracked the eggs in the coolest way (which sounds nerdy.. but for real), he made a volcano with a pile of onions.. it was just incredible. and holllly cow i've never had food that tasted better in my LIFE. i like fried rice more than white rice.. the guy takes white rice and makes it INTO fried rice right in front of you. it was awesome. you REALLY have to go there and see for yourself. i warn you however, its really expensive... but WELL worth it.

so that was our valentines day.. we were gonna go to Cold Stone.. but they had already closed. nothing big, nothing spectacular.. just us being us.

*smiles... i am by far the luckiest girl in the world. i have keegan.... and nobody else can say that except for me. sure we argue and sure there are times we drive eachother crazy.. but there has NEVER been a time that we even considered breaking up. we're stronger than that. we bring out the absolute best in eachother.

:) you're the greatest.

bleedingsun

:: 2006 13 February :: 3.28am
:: Mood: drained

Fingers twitch and muscles flinch

I've been lying in my bed since 10, wide awake. The pills that my mom got me say "Stop use and ask a doctor if sleeplessness occurs." I don't think I'll be using them anymore, which is too bad because they work really well.

I'm going to be so dead tomorrow.

3 _ | moved fast

bleedingsun

:: 2006 12 February :: 11.34am
:: Music: At the Drive-in - in/CASINO/OUT

Esophagus Roller-Coaster Derailed

The drummer in my ear is a slow monotonous ache beating his rhythm to that of my pulse. If I swallow, cough, or even breathe, it feels like lawn furniture is being shoved down my throat. Also, I have recently learned that my nostrils once contained tiny dams that kept all the fluids in my body in their proper places and off of my top lip. I no longer have these tiny dams. As a result of this, my waste-basket and the floor around it has become haunted with a thousand little ghosts. A thousand slimy, sticky, and gooey little ghosts.

I haven't gotten any better since I left school after second hour on Thursday, but I have to make it through the next three days. I have to make up all the tests I've missed, (so far I've been told of four). I have no idea how I'll pass any of them.

I need to find out what assignments I've missed so I can start doing them right now. If anyone is in American Literature with Dolbee, could you please tell me what she assigned on Friday? I'd greatly appreciate it.

:: 2006 11 February :: 11.34pm

Shake that laffy taffy!
Swirl was fun. I'm glad I went, but my feet are in agonizing pain right now.

"I get fast really ready."
"This sad is so song."

I could not talk today..

[Oh, and pictures from Swirl and Spring Hill are soon to come]

Night ya'll.

9 _ | moved fast

:: 2006 9 February :: 7.39pm

Every line makes me cry, 'cause every word was a lie.
There I go again, reading old journal entries.

I don't suggest doing that.

:: 2006 6 February :: 9.18pm

THE PLAY.
What an awesome night.

The show went great. I am so proud of everyone. You guys are all amazing, seriously. For the amount of time we had to do this and all the stress we all went through.. I just can't believe we pulled it together. But, we did and I am so happy.

Yeah, I messed up a line. I was completely beating myself up over it. But, ya know what? For having a two page monolgoue and only messing up one line, I should be thankful. And when a few other people sort've messed up like I did, I didn't care and it didn't stick out in my mind. It was just normal and ok, so that helped me a lot. Some people said they noticed, but I picked it up so fast that it didn't matter. Others completely didn't notice, so whatever.

After the show a lady came up to me and told me that my scene made her cry and it was one of her favorites. That made me so happy.

Thanks for all the other compliments as well. Whoever showed up to support me/us: thanks. [Thank you Matt and Jake for coming. It's good to see some old friends]

One more night. I hope I don't mess up that line again, haha.

Oh, and H apologized and said that he was very proud of me. So, that helped.

I am good now. And not to sound full of myself in any way, but I am proud of myself, because from the start I didn't think I could do this. I didn't think I could memorize more than a line. I didn't think I could get up in front of all those people being only a few feet away.

But, I did.

3 _ | moved fast

:: 2006 5 February :: 6.05pm
:: Music: Cliff Ritchey

Arbitrary!
Something that struck me as interesting was when my group leader from Spring Hill came up to me and told me she was impressed with how well I knew myself. She said that it was awesome, because most girls have no idea and can't answer those kind of questions that fast. And I am going in the right direction. It made me realize how much I really do think and how much I pick myself apart. I was asked what the three things I would change about myself were. I said unmotivation, being too dependent on other people, and how I am always mad about something/can't relax. Another question was what my biggest fear was and I said making the wrong choices. We were also asked what truth was. When you think about that, it's actually extremely hard to answer. I think there's only one kind of truth and those are solid facts. But, the truth we live by isn't always true, because solid truth is lost. People choose their own truths (even though logic is ruled out). Everything is turned into something else. I don't know, it's hard to explain. We talked about other things as well, but I won't bother boring you any longer.

I know none of this matters to you. She just made me see something in myself. I know exactly who I am and that's comforting, because no one else does and I didn't think I knew either.

:: 2006 5 February :: 3.40pm
:: Music: Cliff Ritchey

Get dressed.
Spring Hill was awesome. I actually had a lot of fun. I'm glad I went now, because I wasn't excited about it for a long time.

The band, Cliff Ritchey, was amazing. I don't really care for Christian music, but they were really good. And the lead singer (Cliff) is honestly the cutest man I have ever seen in my life. I'm pretty much in love with him, haha. I think I liked him so much, because he looked a lot like young Bob Dylan and his voice even resembled him somewhat. And the guitarist was the hottest Asian I have ever laid eyes on.

Wow. I am such a girl, lol.

Anyway, I'm happy I decided to go. I think I'll go again, but I'd rather go in the summer if I do. I'm not exactly a winter person.

Well, tomorrow night is the first night of our play. Wish us luck.

Time to shower, eat, and sleep.

Edit>> Oh my God. I was just reading Cliff's journal from his website and he talks about Bob Dylan all of the time. Man, I am good. I wish he wasn't married now though, because he's the closest I could ever get to a young Bob Dylan. Hahaha. Awe man...that's pure dissapointment right there.

12 _ | moved fast

:: 2006 5 February :: 11.15am

the rampage game on friday was awesome. my boyfriend is simply the COOLEST ever! *giggles.

after school keegan picked me up and brought me to bobbys because he had to be to van andle by 5... and it was so nice being able to hang out with bobby and talk to him for so long. even though we dont see eachother often.. he's like my big brother. i know he'd be protective of me and he so happy for me and keegan. the best thing about bobby.. is that he's just such a good guy. most guys flirt with girls regardless of who they're dating.. even if it IS their best friend. bobby isnt like that. everything is so comfortable and we talk about me and keegan and its just wonderful!

but anyways.. we got to the game at about 6:30 and before the game started at 7 keegans crew had already been on the field 3 different times! throwing stuff out into the crowd, flippin, doing a little free style... i was THATS MY BOYFRIEND! i mean seriously.. this is HUGE! and theres only 5 of them.. so its not like there's a bunch of people and you have to figure out which one he is. i was so excited i was like a little girl!

they're the rampage's promo team... so they helped with all the activities during time outs and everytime rampage made a touchdown they'd run out on the field with a big rampage flag and do flips and stuff then run off.

then they did their routine in between the 3rd and 4th quarter.. which was awesome because i finally got to see what they've been working on all this time at practices!

the coolest thing i think.. was when the game was over. they brought all these tables out onto the field and the players, rage dancers, and 61syx signed autographs for this 20 minute session. me and bobby just stood back and watched them. how amazing. a year ago they had JUST got together. since then they've improved SO much, they've been doing shows and NOW their signing autographs for little kids and adults.

i just cant get over how incredible huge this is. i had so much fun.. esp because i was with bobby. i just wanted to tell everyone around me everytime they came off the field.. THATS MY BOYFRIEND! I KNOW HIM! lol.

and the BEST thing about the night was that I was the one who got to go home with him. I'M the one who gets to tell him how incredibly proud i am of him and all his accomplishments. I'M the one thinks the world of him and cant possibly see myself without him.

i really think we're one of those power couples. we've got it all. and that is SO great.

moved fast

:: 2006 2 February :: 9.00pm

i got my swirl dress. its perfect. a little tight (VERY corset-ish) but hell i dont care. it looks really good and its sooo pretty. i figure its my senior year, so as long as i look good and have fun i dont care the price. im so excited for swirl now. we're sticking with the theme.. my dress is yellow and perfect, and keegans going royal blue. and we're going just the two of us which will be nice. i love my girlfriends, but im really looking forward to sharing a special night with my best friend.

yearbook: good lord. what the fuck ever, thats all i have to say. im looking forward to taryn transfering into the class, finally we can have some one who can actually write and who'll get her work done. someone RESPONSIBLE. but i shouldnt get into that topic... i've ranted enough in the past few days.

ani difranco is really becomming spiritually reviving for me. her lyrics speak to me on so many levels.

keegans at his last practice before the rampage tomorrow. im SO excited! ahh!!! AND not only do i get to see them perform and be all cool and be like THATS MY BOYFRIEND to the 8,000 people around me (i love bragging about you!) but i'll be with bobby. i've missed him so much. im going over to bobbys tomorrow around 4:30 so we can hang out before the game. i think thats so cool.. that i can hang out with keegans friends with out him... its because they're my friends too and we LOVE eachother!!! me and his friends that is... laughs*

RAMPAGE!!!! i cant wait.... grrrr. im wearing keegans 61syx shirt and a rampage hat tomorrow to the game... so i can be like.. yeah im with the crew.. giggles* awwww im cute.

im tired.. but im waiting for the office to be on. i love that show.

alright... well that was a pointless entry.

:: 2006 1 February :: 3.12pm

ADVANCED DRAMA PLAY
Feb. 6-7th (That's NEXT Monday and Tuesday, bitches)
$5
Starts at S E V E N ! PM.

Be there or be killed with a square.

[Pass this on, everyone]

:: 2006 31 January :: 5.40pm
:: Music: Damien Rice

I hate MySpace. It sucks.
And so does Xanga.

I don't want to get into why, because if I start this entry could end up being entirely too long.

I love Woohu, because Woohu doesn't suck.

That's all.

Edit>> I can't wait for Swirl now. It's just the girls, and as much as I like having a date, it's usually more fun just hanging out with a buncha crazy girls. And oh my God, the dress I am borrowing is gorgeous. I tried it on and now I am really happy. I love it. It's the first dress I've actually felt pretty in. Like, ever. Oh, I am so excited! :)

11 _ | moved fast

:: 2006 27 January :: 7.01pm

Stacy: Oh my God, my forehead itches like a bitch.
Josh: Oh Christ, my balls itch.

We seriously both said that at the same exact time.
It was fucking scary.

[Hahahahahaahaha]

:: 2006 27 January :: 1.41pm
:: Music: Elliott Smith

No school for me today, biotches.

I had an eye appointment at 10am, so I figured why even go.
I got new glasses, because my other ones broke in half! I was sad, but the new ones are basically the same exact style. The only difference is they're brown on the outside instead of black, and some sort of greenish/yellow color on the inside instead of red. I like them better than my older ones.
I am still not a glasses person. Ick.

My grandma bought me a $6 chocolate covered strawberry from Godiva. I thought it was quite ridiculous, but she insisted. And I'll tell you what...it was the best damn chocolate covered strawberry I've ever had. And the only. Mmmm.

Anyway, I am bored off my feet. I hope someone wants to hang out tonight. And by hang out I don't mean go back to school and waste money on a lame basketball game.

Edit>> Oh, and new layouts for all three journals!! Exciting, eh?

3 _ | moved fast

:: 2006 26 January :: 9.20pm

Hahaha.
Ahh, fuck you! You're grounded!

What for?

Because you don't think that the garbage disposal sounds like chewbaca taking a shit! That's why. Now go to your room!

:: 2006 24 January :: 6.42am
:: Music: Taking Back Sunday

Tagged! haHaHA. So funny. Not, bitch.
I am so sick of this "tagging" bullshit.
Stop for Christs sake!
It's not like when someone leaves a lame ass comment about how you got "tagged" there is some uncontrollable force making you leave this comment in about ten thousand other journals, because the fucking comment says you must.

Guess what? You don't have to do anything a comment tells you to do, ever! Even if it says you'll die if you don't pass it on, you won't. I mean you may die, but not because you didn't send some bullshit to ten thousand other people. Unless someone is pointing a gun to your head, threatening to set your house ablaze, or killing your puppy you're perfectly fine not passing it on.

Ugghhh.

/end rant

6 _ | moved fast