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2004 29 October :: 10.45am
for halloween im wilma from the flinstones... i tied a dog bone in my hair.. its so fun.
*giggles.
so tonight i think im going to the catacombs in Cas, and then to see that movie the grudge, which im terribly afraid of seeing.. because im not good with that kind of thing.. but its all good. me and Alys and i think brandi and danielle and whoever else is going... it'll be fun. woooo.
so some people are wonderful people.
thank you anonymous, you're a good guy. *hugs you.
last night at the halloween party at youth group (i was wilma) and everyone was asking me where my Fred was. i was like, hmmm... good question.
Happy Halloween loves.
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2004 27 October :: 1.39pm
i hate everything.
i hate living here.
i hate school.
i hate how im letting myself get hurt again.
i hate how depressed i always am.
i hate working.
i hate my grades.
i hate my body.
i hate the shape of my face.
i hate feeling alone.
i hate that you make me feel worse then you do better.
i hate that there arnt enough hours in the day.
i hate that i never do homework.
i hate that i'm lazy.
i hate that im broke all the time.
i hate how i lose everything... ALL the time.
i hate how i have nobody to comfort me.
i hate how all i want is for someone to hold me.
i hate thinking those thoughts.
i hate considering those options.
i hate that im still sick.
ugahs;ldfkjas;dfkasdf
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2004 25 October :: 8.20pm
jess and katie are comming over tonight so that we can do our history project.
history can die.
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2004 25 October :: 10.47am
i got my check.
bought more minutes.
all i want to do is go tanning. right now. for like 50 minutes. except then i would die.
and if she compares me to her one more time, im going just make sure i fail ALL my classes and then be like YEAH what now.
*jf;alksdjf;alsdkfjafd;lkjasd;f.
wow. thats all i can say... suprising. yes. wow.
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2004 23 October :: 9.23pm
i feel sick to my stomach and i cant breath.
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2004 23 October :: 8.38pm
todays been rough.
last night got as bad as it could get, then it got better. sometimes i loath my mom, but gosh i love that woman.
my eyes are swollen from crying, my nose is raw from sneezing, im tired from working, depressed cuz i have homework waiting for me, and sad cuz i know i wont hear from him tonight.
Ashley! Congratulations doll! *hugs you.
oooook. well im sniffily and tired.
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2004 22 October :: 8.43pm
tonight i was supposed to see him.
nothing ever turns out.
not a single one of my friends would go with me.
whats that i said about a pathetic high schooler... there's a neon sign pointing at me isnt there.
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2004 22 October :: 1.47pm
we talked till 1:30 last night.
his personality is just perfect....
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2004 21 October :: 1.39pm
im a moron. a pathetic lowly high schooler.... gah.
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2004 20 October :: 5.31pm
CCK haha.. thats great.
crazy clingan clan.
its real..... *shakes head.
this is a DARN good caramel apple....
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2004 19 October :: 6.21pm
whats your name
milfred gonzalous.
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2004 19 October :: 1.38pm
im so lazy. seriously.... seriously.
*alarm goes off 6:00
* i wash my face/brush my teeth
*sleep for another half an hour
*alarm goes off 6:35
*i wake up again, put sweatshirt on, come to school.
15 minutes MAYBE before i come to school. MAYBE.
gahhh.. im so sick. im all sniffy and such.
STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT.
callllll meeeeee.
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2004 18 October :: 9.32pm
stop being sick damn it.
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2004 18 October :: 12.57pm
ok doll, im just gonna hope that that all wasnt about me. i've been so busy lately and you know that because i told you. im not a liar and if you think that... sorry. i cant please everyone. but i think you're a sweetheart and you just need to relax a little. *hugs you.
i went to church last night, and i ACTUALLY got into basketball.. AND it was fun. heh heh.
talked to tom last night.... he's just so cool.
*laughs. im such a nerd.
FYI the new used cd is awesome... BUY it, dont burn it. its THAT good. ohh yeah.
ok.... errrmmmm.... right.
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2004 17 October :: 5.22pm
last night was so much fun.
alyssa is awesome, and seriously one of my best friends in the world.
becky was hoochalicious and i loved it.
brandi was so freaking adorable that i could have eaten her.
stacy's shoes gave me mini's... heh heh.
everything was just so perfect.....
and my date was incredible. he's just so nice. and my friends like him... THAT makes him even better. im really optimistic about this... i feel like i've known him for a lot longer then just a week! lol. this was the third time i've seen him, and im so comfortable with him. i think it helps that he's graduated, i wont have to see him every day.. its not a typical high school relationship. im done with those... i cant wait to get to know him even better and see where this goes. *smiles.
we went to TGI Fridays with like 16 people... mmm chicken fingers. our whole table got them. *laughs.
after the dance me, tom and alyssa went to Gordys house for awhile. Gordy's a pretty cool guy.. i met him last year at prom. kent city people are so much fun.
ok, well i think im gonna go play volleyball.
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2004 15 October :: 8.51am
class color day, biggest spirit day of the year, and where am i? home.
i've had this stupid stupid cough for a week now, and when i got home last night i couldnt even go 5 seconds without almost dying.... gahhh. so i have to go to the doctors today.. THEN i'll be at school.. and am i ever white.. yes i am.
we got a bunny last night. hmm.. that'll be interesting. but he's cute.. and he likes to snuggle... awww. my sister named him daisy.
him daisy. silly little girl. im gonna call him snuggle buns. i love bunnies..
im so excited about homecomming now.. which is good, considering last years homecomming. alyssa and tom are comming and we're all going in a monsterous group.
he's such a nice guy. im gonna be cautious... but he's just so.... ______ (adjective here). he's got beckys approval. heh. thats all that matters! the best friend stamp always works in your bennefit.
well... *yawns* i guess i should get stuff around for today. i hope it stops raining for the game.
anyways.... bye dolls.
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2004 14 October :: 10.19am
i got the new used cd and the meatloaf cd.. heh heh....
what? i like that band?
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2004 14 October :: 6.12am
i saw tom last night, he's such a nice guy. im excited about this weekend. woohu.
brandi and i went shopping, got everything we needed, homecomming is gonna be so bomb this year. and im not sure why i just said bomb......... *shrugs
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2004 11 October :: 10.09am
i got everything i need for homecomming.. woooohoot!
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2004 10 October :: 12.42pm
last night i went to kent citys homecomming... i had more fun then i have at any other dance. their school is so fun.. AND i got a date for our homecomming... *smiles.
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2004 7 October :: 9.14pm
what a rotten day, and what a rotten way to end it.
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2004 6 October :: 1.31pm
"What are we here for... mental masterbation?" - Mr. Norkus
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2004 5 October :: 7.57pm
i hate being compared.
im such a dull person.
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2004 4 October :: 10.20am
ok in this past weekend.....
i've drank 44 ounces of capachino.
had about 10 doughnuts.
waved my arm off.
destroyed my voice at the powderpuff game.
hugged lots of little kids.
ate LOTS of chilli.
fell in love with our court.
cried a few times.... *remembers gummy bears.
AND had one of the best weekends of my life.
now to catch up on homework.....ehhhh
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2004 1 October :: 2.29pm
nononononononononononononoooo.
whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy.
a;lksdjf;alksdfjga;lskdfja;sdlkfj *extreme frustration
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2004 30 September :: 10.48am
all im asking for is an hour.. just an hour.
so yeah, me and becky wrote the school play..... *breaths.
we dont have to keep it a secret anymore... what a relief.. with that said... you should all try out. we had an awesome turn out yesterday.
woot hoot. im bored.
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2004 28 September :: 10.07pm
i should have done my homework, im to tired.
i tried on my dress today.... its so preeettty.
i got my hair highlighted, i like it, i hope everyoneelse does. its red and blonde. i dont know... i like it..... (?) 67 dollars though.. ouch. its all good.
im so behind on school work. SO behind. especially in chemistry... WAY alot in chem. will somebody please help me? i didnt know when i signed up for SCIENCE that i was taking another stupid MATH class. that makes me mad. so mad i could yell a little.
i've decided i love my girls.. they're all so wonderfull.
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2004 26 September :: 10.57pm
im so sad its over, and so happy its all beggining!
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2004 20 September :: 9.16pm
i cant figure out how to perfectly voice my frustration.... so i'll just leave it at you at an understanding of how im incapable of even expressing it. its like that.....
my mom just brought my chocolate ice cream... she knows how to get to me.
i stayed after school looking at templates and picking some out... how do i know that i picked out "the one" i hate making decisions.
well i've got that stupid article to write.. the one that i could care less about and hope dies. "changing seasons" look for it in the first issue... it'll be a dusie.
right.
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2004 17 September :: 8.49pm
the picture at the top of my journal is hott.
i want to eat it.
i think he is incredibly attractive.. but thats just me.
*licks him.
i love burt.
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