If you need me..You know be there!!

If you need me..You know be there!!

:: 2004 13 April :: 9.57am
:: Mood: crushed

I sould have known..
I am soo friggin pissed off!! Today has been like horrible everyone is like attacking me and then everyone keeps comin to me for help and i cant handle all of this I hate everyone here, after this class im going home. I cant stand being here ='( I jus wanna die

Last nite i had to help brandy wif some shit wif her mom, i had to help cassie wif everything as usual, and then becky and i takled ont he phone for like 4 hours about her boyfriend problems. ANd then today Lisa is mad at me and Cassie B is mad at me, and i pissed brandy off and then the other cassie wont talk to me..URGH I FUCKING HATE THIS!!

I dont know wat to do anymore, theres nobody that i can talk to and i dont know what to do. Ive got counseling tonight but im going to cancel it ='(

Its been 22 DaYz today Sunshine. But i dont know how much longer im gonna make it ='(

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 12 April :: 11.51am
:: Mood: Im simply amazin'

And i couldnt ask for more..
Wow, I haven�t wrote in here in forever. Actually I haven�t been online all spring break!! Wow that�s amazing for someone like me lol. Spring break was soo great!! I had the most fun ever!! I hung out wif all of my friends. Im soo happy!! =)

Then today I come back to school, and guess wat!? Im the our newspapers Business Manager!! Omfg Im soo happy you have NO IDEA!! I cant wait to get started..actually my mother and I are going out tonight to see if there are any business� that want to donate money or want to have an advertisment in our paper. I have to raise friggin $$300. But oh wells its going to be fun!! You know I cant wait.

Awwe but I miss all of my friends, and I probably wont be able to talk to any of you for quite a while. *Ali jean I miss you soo much and I love you more than anything. You�re my baby gurl, always n forever. *Britty you�re the best friend ive ever had I luv you soo much!! *Chels I hope you had a great spring break. You too megan!! Well tahts it I luv you all lots!! Ima go cuz class is well not almost over but im leaving now. Gotta talk to arkinson!! Mwuz!!

P.s. Britty, Ali jean, Chelsie, Megan, all of you that are using woohu taht im friends wif..are you payin andy for woohu? Let me know, cuz im sending money in soon and if you guys dont wanna send urs or something ill send in some for you, but let me know soon. I luv you all wif alla mah heart <3 *mwuz*

21 DaYz toDaY I told you I would make it britt, you gotta trust me. I�d do anything for you babii gurl!!

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 2 April :: 9.19am
:: Mood: happy

Last day before spring break!!
Well were arent diong anything in uprights class again, and i had to come to skool bcuz of our dunkin donuts fest this morning. Omg im soo friggin stuffed Ick!! Oh wells..

James finally called me last night, stupid kid hasnt called in 3 days, but oh wells..life goes on, but we had a nice conversation last nite, im not sure if were goig to be able to do much this spring break cuz he has a tight schedule at work!! ='( he said he would make time for me but id ont want him to get in trouble again!!

Neways, im really bored, nothing going on, Jay was sad this morning! I hope that hes feeling better now, and i hope that him and britty are having a great day at skool today!! I LUV YOU BRITTANY MARIE!! Well thats enough for me today, im gonna get giong..latah everyone!! Chelsie i luv you lots chicka!!

EVERYONE PRAY FOR JILLY TO BE BUSINESS MANAGER FOR OUR NEWSPAPER!! ONLY THREE NOMINATED AND I REALLY WANT THIS!! SO PPLZ PRAY!!

11 DayZ t day everyone!!

Ali jean i luv you more than the sky is blue!!

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 1 April :: 12.20pm
:: Mood: okay

Nothing could be better..<3
Of course nothing going on today, last full day of skool until spring break YaY im soo happy i cant wait, tho im not doing anything now, but its all good. I think the only plans i have are wif Katie, Cassie, and hopefully something wif Brandy but im not sure. =)

Yeah i dont get to see Kyndra for a whole 2 weeks, dont get to see Laurie for a whole week, and dont get to see Sherry ever again. Not going to counsling, and then we've got spring break adn then after taht so does Kyndra lol. Yeah guys, i found out when shes leaving..she said maybe the end of April or the begining of May sometime. But shes not totally sure. Urgh i dont want her to leave me ='(

Oh wells..neways i dont have anything to say, britty i luv you lots chicka!! You too Chelsie!! But im going to get going..latah everyone!!

<33 Jilly <33

1o Days today

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 31 March :: 10.07am
:: Mood: ditzy

A broken heart, continues to beat..
Well lets see here, nothing really going on today, were not doing anything in this class today, mr upright is being awesome lol

James and I havent talked in like 3 days now, im hoping that hes going to call me t nite..but if not oh well, i'll live i guess. Hes prolly just busy or something and i know that he hates when gurls call him askin where hes been and why he aint been calling so ya know, if i need him, ill get a hold of him, if not oh wells i still luv da kid =)

Yesterday was really fun wif the last day of group *tear tear* ='( And then talking wif Kynrda and then counsling wif Laurie. yeah we talked about some hard stuff..but i dont know it was good i guess. I really need to talk to brittany. Like really really bad..its kind of important..most likely i'll forget wat i need tot alk to her about tho lol. Well gotta me n Kels are going to get some pop! =)

Its been o9 days today everyone!!
I'll show you, you jus watch,
I can keep a promise!!
I luv you more than anything!!

p.s. we get our puppy in o9 days too!!

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 30 March :: 11.51am
:: Mood: giggly

There comes a day, when i need to say goodbye..
Well nothing really going on today. Just sittin here in renteria�s class again. Yeah its really boring ex we got new seats and I sit rite next to jerry..whew =p talk about a hott boi!! Lol

Other than that nothing really going on lol. Got to get a pass to get outta this class in minute. And gotta skip lunch again..i don�t know arkinson told me to get a pass while we went to go get our schedule packets for next year. Urgh im soo nervous, all of my classes are going to be the same. Ya know wat woodruff told me this morning, I told him I didn�t think I would have a chance wif journalism for the newspaper bcuz of my grade and he agreed but it old him I wanted to be in intro to print media again next year so I could get a better grade and show him im dependable and he said that�s great, bcuz he is really looking forward to what I can bring to the newspaper Wow, I used to hate that teacher, I don�t know if I would be a good writer for the newspaper tho, im scared =( But then he told me also bcuz I love taking pix and everything that I sould try for his yearbook thingy, and im going to lol sounds fun ya know!!

Well im going to get going, its about time for me to leave lol. But I jus wanted to say..guess wat? Me and Jay are friends! Woot woot!! Arent I soo lucky. We used to hate eachother, now were like all talking and stuff its GREAT!! I luv you Jay!! B.H.U.A. for life babes!!! Latah!!

<33 Meeeehh!!

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 29 March :: 11.12am
:: Mood: excited

Hope begins with *H*..wow, so does help..
Wow earlier before this class we had an awesome assembly!! It was soo awesome this lady came in and she was like one of those harlem globetrotter ppls!! It was sweet!! Thats really got me hyped rite now!! Brandy was making fun of me cuz i thought it was the koolest thing lol..

Wow i aint wrote in here in forever, my puter at home is being really really retarded!! Im hoping that we can reprogram the computer or get a new tower or something, but my mommy is gettin a new puter, so i tink that blows those plans lol =)

Well, about the June 17th thing, yeah thats not rite, i forgot to count the first 6 days so its really June 11th!! Everyone im going to make it, You watch, and its all going to be for my britty!! I luv you more than anything in the whole world, and ill prove to you that promises do mean something to me!! I luv you babi gurl!!

Got to talk wif Chelsea this weekend which was really good..and then talked wif Gloria this morning during the assembly, which was also the best!! I luv that gurl i cant wait till 4th hour..that is..if i even go lol..and wow, me and Brandy are better!! Thank god i was really upset that she was mad at me and everything..=( oh wells..im done for now..latah everyone!!

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 25 March :: 11.03am

http://www.poetrynrhyme.com/69_Silent_Tear.htm

http://www.poems.fsnet.co.uk/269_Struggle.htm

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 23 March :: 7.31pm
:: Mood: thankful
:: Music: Get married--Jagged Edge!!

I hate you, but i luv you, baby youve got me torn..
Wow today was..uhm good i guess. No not really it was f'ing horrible..cept the end!! =) School was horrible..and we didnt have group..but James picked me up, at work in the lobby like rite after skool and he had all these flowers for me!! I ran up to him and gave him the biggest hug!! Everyone was like..whose that whose that..and im like..thats my baby!! =)

Then he took me to counsling, and then my mom picked me up bcuz he had to go get his check from work..he didnt have to work t nite thank god!! Then i got home, mom and jelly went out fo dinner..and so James n me ordered a pizza for us n wilson!! He stayed here a bit, but had an emergency at home so he left like 20 min ago!! =(

I love this kid soo much!! No i dont luv him, i like him lots, hes my best friend, how couldnt i? lol Counseling was fun today, talked bout britty tons!! lol Good stuff korse!! I luv you soo much britty!! *i wanna name stars, n talk bout brushin our teeth, n bout blowin on pepperoni in the middle of the nite, n listen to you talk about nothing on the phone all nite long, i miss those days!! i guess i was replaced ='(

But ive gotta go, gotta see if wat me n brandy are doing 2marro after skool..i luv you all *mwuz* latah babes!!

Ali jean stand tough babes, i will luv you no matter wat!!

<33 meeeh!! =) i luv you jamsey

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 21 March :: 10.38pm
:: Mood: sore

People change and forget to tell us..
Wow today was eventful..hung out wif my baby most of the day..that was lots of fun!! And then rents get into it and both of em leave and i guess neither is coming home today or 2marro. Damn aint taht a shame =p

Talked plenty wif brittany today, that was fun as always * luv you babes* and chelsie..and korse my baby Ali jean!! Ya know these days im starting to realize how friggin blessed i am..my friends are the best and i luv you all!!

I am going to get going James is surposed to be coming over in a bit..he said i sounded upset on the phone and he needs to come over to make sure im okay..haha nice excuse big boy =p hah..gosh i wish i could talk to Britty on the phone sometime..but no she never answers or i can never call her..either way we dont talk anymores..oh wells!! I hope her n whats his face are okay now..well im gonig to go!!

I luv you all soo soo much!!

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 20 March :: 3.52pm
:: Mood: flirty

Anytime you need me..im already there
Awwe..i just had to tell Mikey boo that i got a bf..yeah that wasnt too easy =/ But oh wells its over now..but omg hes the sweetest lil boy ever!! I luv him soo much too!! This is what he said after i told him..

SupraDude5: ya well thats ummm....kool
xSwEetoXoKiSseSx: yeah..i knew i wouldnt be able to stay single long:-P but why you say it like that..likei ts really a bad thing..
SupraDude5: i mean i am happy for ya and all that but if someone hurts you i am gonna turn mideval on there ass!!!!!
SupraDude5: cuz ur to nice for someone to hurt you
xSwEetoXoKiSseSx: awwe babes..your soo sweet!! I luv you!!:-D
SupraDude5: i luv you to
xSwEetoXoKiSseSx: i always have n always will:-*
SupraDude5: same to you
SupraDude5: :-*
xSwEetoXoKiSseSx: hehe your the best babes:-)
SupraDude5: u r to
SupraDude5: i don't want anybody to hurt you
SupraDude5: i don't care how old they are

Awwe isnt he the sweetie guy!! hehe i feel soo loved!! Dont wrry James its nothing like that were just good friends!! =p

James i luv you more than anything in the whole world!!

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 19 March :: 8.22pm

I wouldnt trade you for anything baby
SilentLoVe87: Jill I do love you, your not only my girlfriend, but my best friend. Please do not take that away from me!!!!
SilentLoVe87:I want you to be the girl that I marry, the one to have my children. I want you to be the one i hold in my arms every night until the day i die. You just have to have faith in me that i wont hurt you. Baby girl I love you!!!

James baby i luv you soo much and i never want to lose you!! Your the BEST guy out there, i couldnt imagine life without you!! :-*

yeah that was in my info..but ya'll knw how i dont like to show off guys in my info..so ima shw it off here =p

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 19 March :: 7.59pm

Time will change your mind..
Well lets see here today..was actually friggin fun!! German day at U of M was soo fun!! Wow, i love Derek, and Emily, and Erik, and Tyler..thier all fuckin soo funny and fun!! We all sould get together again!!

I need to talk to someone, before i seriously go nuts!! Urgh everyone has thier own fucking problems, i called everyoen today..tried to get outta the house but then Josh's gf is staying the night *wif me* haha yeah but were not even really friends..oh wells..I called Brandy and talked to her for a bit, but ya know her and her boyfriend of 2 years broke up tonight so yeah she had some problems so i had to help her and comfort her ya know..when really i need some fuckin comforting too..im not complaining because i will always be here for her i luv that gurl but ya know i need someone to talk to too =(

Oh well..no big deal i guess..well ima get going..nobody is online because every1 is at riot..where i sould be and was going to be until my fucking mom had to go to the hospital!!! Urgh..shes prolly sick because shes prolly fucking having pill withdrawls..and needs more!! I fucking hate her!! I hope she is sick and gets something HORRIBLE!!

Well bye..love..me!!