Where to begin

Where to begin

:: 2008 16 April :: 6.46pm
:: Mood: tired, hungry, etc.
:: Music: my professor

job hunting
::

i hate looking for jobs. i mean, i get excited about all of the opportunities. but i also get really depressed about how i feel like i'm not good at anything. and all the things i am good at, aren't interested in having me.

whether it's true or not, even partially, doesn't really matter. it still feels crappy.

then again, maybe i just need to eat.

and i feel guilty for not listening to the lecture today. but it's just review. so there.

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spud	:: 2008 16 April :: 1.37pm i'm kind of a hard person to be friends with sometimes, i think. not all the time. and not in all respects. but there are a few areas where i'm definitely lacking. but that's okay, because i'm still not really that bad. 2 comments \| leave a comment

rayray

:: 2008 15 April :: 9.35pm

Spending the weekend in Ohio.
I hope it brings some sort of solution to my madness lately.
Doubt it though.

For the moment, the tears have stopped.
The uncomfortable feeling is still there.
Still burdening me.

I feel.. blah.

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spud	:: 2008 15 April :: 7.16pm i walked out of class today because i was frustrated. probably not a good choice, but there you are. at least i made amends with my groupmates. that's the important part. 4 comments \| leave a comment

spud

:: 2008 14 April :: 11.59pm
:: Mood: better
:: Music: radiohead - no surprises

::

i feel much better after today. i'm still kind of pissed about some stuff. and the wings lost. but at least, for whatever reason, i managed to evade the same sort of funkiness that's been haunting my shadows for the past week or two.

and there's nothing but good on the horizon. so, shut the fuck up, brain!

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skife

:: 2008 12 April :: 11.48pm

16 games of bowling played so far this week.

3 more tomorrow then i'm done.

http://grgrusbc.org/rslts/yr0708/OpnChmpSngl.htm

i'm ranked 52 our of 600 something in my handicap game from last weekend

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skife

:: 2008 11 April :: 5.36pm

Flight Information - Thursday, May 1, 2008
US Airways
Flight 903
1h 50m, 513 mi
Detroit - Wayne County (DTW)
Detroit, MI
Departs: 10:31 AM
To Charlotte - Douglas Intl (CLT)
Charlotte, NC
Arrives: 12:21 PM
Aircraft
Airbus A319 (Jet)
Economy/Coach Class
US Airways
Flight 1179
2h 47m, 914 mi
Charlotte - Douglas Intl (CLT)
Charlotte, NC
Departs: 1:00 PM
To Houston - Intercontinental (IAH)
Houston, TX
Arrives: 2:47 PM
Aircraft
Boeing 737-400 (Jet)
Economy/Coach Class

yeah... theres kinda no return flight.
good bye mitten.

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rayray

:: 2008 11 April :: 4.24pm

I sit. I weap. I wipe away tears. It's how I start my day, and how I end it.
I cry at the drop of a hat.
I know I'm an emotional wreck and that I have some emotional issues I keep throwing in the back of my closet. Hoping that someday they will escape through a crack somewhere.
Sadly, I never know what starts these fits of tears and uncertainty.
Especially when everything in my relationship with Mike is great.
I have a job, and I am enrolled in college.
My bills are paid, and I'm slowly getting caught up.
I really have nothing missing.
However, there is a huge hole.
And that hole that keeps attacking me at moments like these, is hurting me.
This uncomfortable feeling it gives me, is hurting me physically.
I am always tired. My body aches. And I can't find a cure..

I've spent the last few weeks doing a spring cleaning of my thoughts.
So far, I feel as though I worn myself weak, and accomplished nothing.
It's like running on a treadmill.

Right now, I would love to burst into tears, and curl up in bed.
But there are too many things I need to get done.

Anyway..
My dad talked to his girly-friend last night on the phone for 2 hours last night, even though she broke their date for last night.
He is so happy, and giddy. And I love seeing him smile.
I have been waiting for this for years.

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skife

:: 2008 9 April :: 4.41am

i miss her alot

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rayray

:: 2008 8 April :: 4.29pm

So I am still waiting for that student id number.
I called and left a message with the admissions lady..
Being that it is spring break this week, I highly doubt i will get a response this week.

Anyway to go more indepth about the things my last entry contained..
My dad had a date-ish type evening saturday. I am happy for him, and he's happy, and he smiles a lot too.

I spent time with my mom on saturday. We played cards. It was entertaining.

And lastly, Mike's fish.. We had a power surge, and his fish was fried. He swam all weird and retarded like for a couple moments, and then nothing. It was sad.

But now I must shower. Sandpaper dust does not leave a very attractive odor behind. And let me tell you, I would be so very happy if i never had to see sandpaper again.

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skife

:: 2008 8 April :: 7.41am

erin was here last week, she's amazing.

she left satuday, i'm sad.

I miss her alot.

anywho, i've been up since noon yesterday, i worked from 11pm till about a half hour ago, its sleepy time.

night night

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spud	:: 2008 8 April :: 1.39am it kind of reminds me of that episode of pete and pete where they tried to stay awake for like three days straight. or something. i think it's bedtime. 5 comments \| leave a comment

spud

:: 2008 7 April :: 5.17am
:: Music: 311 - don't tread on me

i like how at some point it transitions in conceptualization from a very late night, to a very early morning. and yet, the task of nabbing down precisely where that transition occurs is nigh-on impossible.

my guess is that it's right around the time when the birds start chirping.

...

yep, i hear 'em.

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