woohu..

:: 2008 4 November :: 12.35am

Vote tomorrow, bitches.

2 comment?s | comment

:: 2008 29 October :: 1.26am
:: Mood: contemplative

recollections
::

i feel like i've lost a lot of my pizzazz. (or maybe you spell it pissass. depending on how many laxatives i took that day.) you know? i feel like i used to have more vitality, more everything. not that i was a driven, self-motivated type of person. not that i was spastic or rambunctious. i just feel like i had an undercurrent of motion that just isn't there anymore.

nowadays i let the simplest things prevent me from getting anything done, and i really don't feel the need to try and innovate, or make new things happen. i'm content to attempt, and fail, to merely recreate those which have come before. nothing outstanding. nothing superb. i just settle for okay.

but that really doesn't seem right. i don't want just an okay life. i don't want just okay friends. okay coworkers. okay family. that's not how it works for me. i feel like everything about my life up to this point has been outrageous. and now it's just mellowing out. i guess it's my job to keep it outrageous. but i have a lot of fucking jobs right now, which i guess is what's bogging me down. so, adding the job of unbogging myself to the pile doesn't really work. it'll just exacerbate the problem.

so, i just need to get a few things out of the way, one at a time, so that i have a bit more freedom to have some of that guilt-free, sporadic, funtime. where my energy is put to its most effectively pragmatic use. because clearly i don't get shit done when it comes to actual work. but give me something fun to do, and i'll forget to eat, sleep, and go to the bathroom, i'm so diligent.

and faking myself out to think that the "work" stuff is actually "fun" stuff doesn't cut it. believe me, i've tried. although, i have discovered that some of the "fun" stuff is actually "work". but since it falls under "fun" in my classifications, i can still do that, at least.

i guess we'll make it happen eventually. and until then, i'll just have to tough it out. but i want to be fun and exciting again. none of this boring, grumpy, old man nonsense. that suits me at times. but i don't think this should be one of those times.

i'll get there, and i'll enjoy it. but i'm not there yet. and there's no sense in rushing it.

:: 2008 25 October :: 10.41pm

Did I tell you I updated my ~~law blog~~ photoblog?

Because I did.

3 comment?s | comment

:: 2008 16 October :: 2.34pm
:: Music: Sons and Daughters

To everyone who will never see this:
(This isn't about you. If you think it's about you, it's not. It's about a certain vous.)

Not everyone's religion is your religion. You can't just push your views on me and I can't just push my views on you.

I believe in God. But my god seems to be a little nicer than your god. And if that makes me wrong, or a heathen or whatever, I don't care. I'm living in a happy, nice world with a happy, nice God who loves everyone, where free will means free happiness and where people are happy and love each other. If that's not a world you like, that's fine because it's my world. And I'm happy here.

I just don't understand why anyone would want people to not be happy.

I don't understand how what you do makes you happy. Does judging others make you feel better? Does alienating your friends and family make you happy? If it does, then that's fine. I'd only ever want you to be happy. But if it doesn't? Why do you keep doing it?

I love you all.

5 comment?s | comment

spud	:: 2008 15 October :: 3.46am Bzoink Friend Tests I got 1000000% on jessa's Test! Take The Test \| Create One Bzoink.com \| View Scoreboard 5 comment?s \| comment

:: 2008 15 October :: 3.32am
:: Mood: sleepy

I mean, crap, man.

... that's, like, his stomach plug on the ground, there. That's not even physically possible, if you think about it....

::

so yeah. i really need to clean out my email inbox. it's seriously bad.

i also need to stop failing at doing my homework. i turned in a paper today that was almost a week late, and when i was called on for discussion in another class, i just told her that i couldn't answer the question, because i didn't do the reading. not that half the class did. but the fact that i had to put it out there in words was awkward.

and it's not going to let up. theoretically i'll be starting work soon, which will only cause things to get worse. then again, maybe it will keep me busy to where i'm more productive and more motivated. hopefully that's the case.

either way, something has to change, because i can't keep going on like i am. i have serious issues with getting to bed, getting up, getting my work done, and getting places on time. especially lately. and it's very uncool.

that aside, the front moved through. that's nice. much cooler tonight. makes me happy. i'm excited for fall.

:: 2008 5 October :: 2.38pm

Nick's little sister got married last night. She turns 20 in November. As much of a horrible ideas as I thought getting married at that age was, after it all, I am so happy for Jess and Ryan. They obviously love and care for each other quite a bit and share the same ideas and faith. They're both silly and a little ditzy. And besides, people probably think the idea of Nick and I getting married is ridiculous too.

In the end, I had so much fun dancing and dressing up and partying and celebrating with them that none of it mattered. Not waking up at 7 to get my hair sprayed into a fake updo at 8:45. Not getting my makeup done and feeling guilty about Nick's mom spending over 200 dollars. Not the stupid fights we had only weeks before. The only thing that mattered was seeing Jess walk down that aisle yesterday and feeling so happy for her. For everyone.

Congratulations, you two. And good luck.

I love you all.

:: 2008 4 October :: 12.17am

So Nick's little sister is getting married tomorrow. I'm not sure how I feel about this yet. I am a bridesmaid. I am going to bed now.

:: 2008 26 September :: 1.48am
:: Mood: tired?
:: Music: mr. deeds soundtrack

^^^no idea why^^^

so yeah. i had class all night. also turned in my app at papa john's. and i locked my keys in the car. dad came and bailed me out, though.

we did an audio interview with a guy in tampa tonight. how many thousand miles away? with 20 to 15000 Hz bandwidth, talkback, and almost no delay. phenomenal.

then i got back and chuck and i watched mystery science theater 3000 - "Hamlet" (the "from the 1960s, german, and dubbed in english" version).

that at least made it a little more worthwhile.

only had one cigarette today. thought that was pretty good.

time for bed, man.

goodnight.

6 comment?s | comment

:: 2008 24 September :: 2.38pm

UPDATE
OhMyGodSocietyIsCollapsingAndWeWillSoonBeDevouringEachOtherInTheStreets
LikeDogsAndACrippledOne-EyedBoyWillBEKingIfWeDon'tFixThisByNextWeek

This man deserves a world full of Emmys.

:: 2008 24 September :: 11.56am

this semester is strange.

i don't know where i was going with that.

i just know that it's noon and i need to get up off my duff and start doing things. otherwise i'll be late and unprepared for my meetings today.

... that sounds so big-person-ish.

3 comment?s | comment

spud	:: 2008 21 September :: 12.45am i went jogging today. kind of. went about 2.5 miles. walked most of it. i'm horribly out of shape. and i had a bunch of food before i left. even still, i know i'll appreciate doing it. i'll be sore tomorrow, but it's the good kind. comment

:: 2008 20 September :: 2.15am

Things have been crazy. Good, but crazy.

I filled out my app for degree yesterday and Pichot turned it in to the office today. I'm graduating in May. This is the weirdest, scariest feeling I've felt since those four months in France. And I feel bad eating Tums like candy here.

Classes are going okay. Ceramics class sucks because on a scale from one to a lot, I have negative five art skills. And there are art students in class even though the title specifically says FOR NON-MAJORS. GET OUT OF MY CLASS, ART KIDS, YOU'RE MAKING MY BAD ART LOOK WORSE.

French is god-awful. I shouldn't expect a 400 level French class to be not hard but it is terrible. We watched four versions of Madame Bovary and for our test on Monday he expects us to tell all the movies apart by director's name. I cannot tell them apart. There's the French color one, the American black and white one, the French black and white one and the British miniseries. But if you ask me, vrai ou faux, dans la film de Renoir, Léon a cassé la vitre avec son main, I couldn't tell you.

Everything else is okay. Tai Chi is making my legs hurt. 1776 is playing at Civic theatre and I'm planning on seeing it this weekend.

OH! Will.i.am is coming to my school on Sunday. Crazy, right? I am pumped.

:: 2008 11 September :: 2.40am

busy

so, apparently in addition to being "technical director" for the radio station, i am now also the vice president of the scientists of sound.

when it rains, it pours.

i'm not even sure i want to add these to my resume. but at least it sounds impressive. far more impressive than the harry potter club.

i just hope i'm better prepared tomorrow (and more punctual) than i was on tuesday. just sayin'.

sleepy time pretty quick here, though. that should help.

:: 2008 5 September :: 1.16am
:: Mood: pensive
:: Music: the alan parsons project - tales of mystery and imagination

i think it's pretty sad that three-beer chris feels more "normal" than no-beer chris.

i guess the solution is to not have beer for awhile. but still. i haven't been functioning up to par without it. and, frankly, i haven't been getting drunk all the time, or passing out. just one or two after dinner or whatever. and it isn't until that point that i feel awake and alert and - well - normal.

i don't know what to make of it. but, either way, i figure it's bad.

P.S.

this made me smile, though:

"hey chris!

we were talking about how great you've been at the station during the meeting today. and we would really love to re-write another executive board position into the constitution. the new position would be the position of technical director. details are still a little vague, but basically the person in this position would be the go-to guy for all questions/problems with the equipment and website. we all feel that you would do wonderfully in this position and we would love for you to accept.

is this something that you are interested in?

thanks so much!
jill"

and i thought they hated me... : )

i sent her my more reserved-sounding equivalent of "fuck yeah!" as soon as i got it. although, now that i think about it, fuck yeah might have been the way to go. oh well, either way, it's cool, and i'm happy.