angel_bob
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2008 26 November :: 10.14pm
I feel like I learn more about faith and feel better about faith in my Arabic class than I ever did in my Theology class.
In my Theology class, I was angry and upset that I was supposed to believe what he said I needed to. That I needed to obey the laws he said existed. Laws and rules I didn't think any god cared about.
In my Arabic class, I feel good about this god that I thought was mean and restrictive. I feel good about the world. Every day we have a religious discussion, even inadvertently.
I guess I'm not doing the Catholic thing anymore? I guess I haven't for a while. I like this God guy. I'm feeling things out but I'm a big fan of this non-denominational thing. I just hate religion so much. We'll see where this goes.
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spud
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2008 21 November :: 2.39am
And i still won it.
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spud
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2008 18 November :: 3.55am
so, i saw the first cut of the summer film today. well, it's already been through several revisions. but this was the first public screening.
i will say, some things turned out really well. some did not. i'm glad to see that it came together okay, at least. i would have been pissed if it sucked, and surprised if it was out of this world. i still think some of the big problems with the story are in the script itself, and are therefore beyond fixing at this point. i also think that cleaning up the audio will do wonders. and that is going to be a formidable task. i'm just wondering if my class next semester is going to have to do all that. it would be interesting. then i'd have my hands on it during two phases of the process, instead of just one. that would be weird.
other than that, just business as usual. falling steadily farther behind in all of the important classes, with the one class that i'm doing best in the only class i'm actually making headway on.
it'll all come together in the end. i just hope the collision isn't too catastrophic for me to keep it together.
and in the meantime, just keep plugging away at it, little by little. but i am also running out of time, which means a step up in pace is in order.
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spud
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2008 11 November :: 1.14am
:: Music: Coldplay
ATTENTION!
Yo Internet Peeps:
My radio show is currently up and running. It has been for several weeks.
I'm sick of not having any listeners. The show sucks, because I don't try, because nobody listens, because I didn't advertise very well. Or at all.
So, I will be attempting to change this.
The show is currently: MONDAYS @ 4PM LISTEN HERE!
I'm thinking about doing a couple of themed shows. Maybe one entirely off of youtube, or one entirely of "red hot jazz" (think 1920s).
If you can't listen at that time, I totally understand. Which is why when I reschedule next semester, I will be asking for your input as far as what times on what days are good times to have my show, so I will hopefully have more listeners. Because I want to do something that everyone will enjoy, at a time that is convenient for them.
So, hopefully you can listen at that time for the next couple of months.
More updates will come later.
Peace,
Chris
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angel_bob
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2008 4 November :: 12.35am
Vote tomorrow, bitches.
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spud
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2008 29 October :: 1.26am
:: Mood: contemplative
recollections
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i feel like i've lost a lot of my pizzazz. (or maybe you spell it pissass. depending on how many laxatives i took that day.) you know? i feel like i used to have more vitality, more everything. not that i was a driven, self-motivated type of person. not that i was spastic or rambunctious. i just feel like i had an undercurrent of motion that just isn't there anymore.
nowadays i let the simplest things prevent me from getting anything done, and i really don't feel the need to try and innovate, or make new things happen. i'm content to attempt, and fail, to merely recreate those which have come before. nothing outstanding. nothing superb. i just settle for okay.
but that really doesn't seem right. i don't want just an okay life. i don't want just okay friends. okay coworkers. okay family. that's not how it works for me. i feel like everything about my life up to this point has been outrageous. and now it's just mellowing out. i guess it's my job to keep it outrageous. but i have a lot of fucking jobs right now, which i guess is what's bogging me down. so, adding the job of unbogging myself to the pile doesn't really work. it'll just exacerbate the problem.
so, i just need to get a few things out of the way, one at a time, so that i have a bit more freedom to have some of that guilt-free, sporadic, funtime. where my energy is put to its most effectively pragmatic use. because clearly i don't get shit done when it comes to actual work. but give me something fun to do, and i'll forget to eat, sleep, and go to the bathroom, i'm so diligent.
and faking myself out to think that the "work" stuff is actually "fun" stuff doesn't cut it. believe me, i've tried. although, i have discovered that some of the "fun" stuff is actually "work". but since it falls under "fun" in my classifications, i can still do that, at least.
i guess we'll make it happen eventually. and until then, i'll just have to tough it out. but i want to be fun and exciting again. none of this boring, grumpy, old man nonsense. that suits me at times. but i don't think this should be one of those times.
i'll get there, and i'll enjoy it. but i'm not there yet. and there's no sense in rushing it.
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angel_bob
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2008 25 October :: 10.41pm
Did I tell you I updated my law blog photoblog?
Because I did.
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angel_bob
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2008 16 October :: 2.34pm
:: Music: Sons and Daughters
To everyone who will never see this:
(This isn't about you. If you think it's about you, it's not. It's about a certain vous.)
Not everyone's religion is your religion. You can't just push your views on me and I can't just push my views on you.
I believe in God. But my god seems to be a little nicer than your god. And if that makes me wrong, or a heathen or whatever, I don't care. I'm living in a happy, nice world with a happy, nice God who loves everyone, where free will means free happiness and where people are happy and love each other. If that's not a world you like, that's fine because it's my world. And I'm happy here.
I just don't understand why anyone would want people to not be happy.
I don't understand how what you do makes you happy. Does judging others make you feel better? Does alienating your friends and family make you happy? If it does, then that's fine. I'd only ever want you to be happy. But if it doesn't? Why do you keep doing it?
I love you all.
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spud
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2008 15 October :: 3.46am
Bzoink Friend Tests I got 1000000%on jessa's Test!
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spud
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2008 15 October :: 3.32am
:: Mood: sleepy
I mean, crap, man.
... that's, like, his stomach plug on the ground, there. That's not even physically possible, if you think about it....
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so yeah. i really need to clean out my email inbox. it's seriously bad.
i also need to stop failing at doing my homework. i turned in a paper today that was almost a week late, and when i was called on for discussion in another class, i just told her that i couldn't answer the question, because i didn't do the reading. not that half the class did. but the fact that i had to put it out there in words was awkward.
and it's not going to let up. theoretically i'll be starting work soon, which will only cause things to get worse. then again, maybe it will keep me busy to where i'm more productive and more motivated. hopefully that's the case.
either way, something has to change, because i can't keep going on like i am. i have serious issues with getting to bed, getting up, getting my work done, and getting places on time. especially lately. and it's very uncool.
that aside, the front moved through. that's nice. much cooler tonight. makes me happy. i'm excited for fall.
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angel_bob
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2008 5 October :: 2.38pm
Nick's little sister got married last night. She turns 20 in November. As much of a horrible ideas as I thought getting married at that age was, after it all, I am so happy for Jess and Ryan. They obviously love and care for each other quite a bit and share the same ideas and faith. They're both silly and a little ditzy. And besides, people probably think the idea of Nick and I getting married is ridiculous too.
In the end, I had so much fun dancing and dressing up and partying and celebrating with them that none of it mattered. Not waking up at 7 to get my hair sprayed into a fake updo at 8:45. Not getting my makeup done and feeling guilty about Nick's mom spending over 200 dollars. Not the stupid fights we had only weeks before. The only thing that mattered was seeing Jess walk down that aisle yesterday and feeling so happy for her. For everyone.
Congratulations, you two. And good luck.
I love you all.
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angel_bob
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2008 4 October :: 12.17am
So Nick's little sister is getting married tomorrow. I'm not sure how I feel about this yet. I am a bridesmaid. I am going to bed now.
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spud
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2008 26 September :: 1.48am
:: Mood: tired?
:: Music: mr. deeds soundtrack
^^^no idea why^^^
so yeah. i had class all night. also turned in my app at papa john's. and i locked my keys in the car. dad came and bailed me out, though.
we did an audio interview with a guy in tampa tonight. how many thousand miles away? with 20 to 15000 Hz bandwidth, talkback, and almost no delay. phenomenal.
then i got back and chuck and i watched mystery science theater 3000 - "Hamlet" (the "from the 1960s, german, and dubbed in english" version).
that at least made it a little more worthwhile.
only had one cigarette today. thought that was pretty good.
time for bed, man.
goodnight.
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spud
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2008 24 September :: 11.56am
this semester is strange.
i don't know where i was going with that.
i just know that it's noon and i need to get up off my duff and start doing things. otherwise i'll be late and unprepared for my meetings today.
... that sounds so big-person-ish.
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