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2004 4 June :: 7.19pm
Mrrf...
Mrrrrrf....
I went to mountain shadows today. I didn't cry, though the way Jim (My old teacher) spoke so tentatively to me made me want to. I don't think he understands me any more. I came wearing black and white stripey tights, my guys black shorts with much metal, my black shirt with the red anime fairy on it and my converse with nightmare before christmas laces. He said the Nightmare Before Christmas was a bit creepy for his tastes.
"Ah." says Caro.
He had to leave shortly after that.
I think it may have been shocking to see me dressed like that because when I left I was still in my jeens and tee-shirt days.
I didn't see any of my old friends except Alison, and only for a split second. Well, I saw some of my friends among the staff, which was cool. I said as soon as I graduated High School I would come back. And I will.
Watch me.
Jim and Elizabeth are leaving. That's why it was so important for me to see them. I probably will never see them again. That SUCKS.
I bought some manga to read. It's Alice 19th. I bought number 2 and number 3. I already read the first one. ^_^
Yea.
I saw my Psycologyst today. Were lowering my dose of Seraquel, which has caused me to gain weight. So, hopefuly I'll lose some more. w00t.
So, yea. Here I am.
That's my day.
~Caro
2 disappointments |
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2004 4 June :: 12.51pm
Here goes...
Oivay.
Today I'm going back to Mountain Shadows (my old school) to say goodbye to my teachers and whoever hapens to show up to help clean the place. As we may or may not know I was pulled out of school without getting to say goodbye to anyone. So, I want to see them again. There you have it. I don't know if I'll cry or not. I hope not. But maybe I will.
We'll just have to see.
~Caro
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2004 4 June :: 12.26am
Oh. My. God! WHY CANT I STOP CRYING?
I can't stop crying. Why!?
I guess I never realized how much they meant to me...
Aperantly a whole lot.
Cause the tears won't stop.
2 disappointments |
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2004 3 June :: 9.04pm
Ahg. So much crying.
I cried SO MUCH today. I love the people at Halcyon to much. Sherri has been like a second mom to me, and Stephanie a good friend, Stacy a guiding light, Kelly, Sandi: There is nothing I can put into words about you two. You've given me so much. Esma...Well, she's just her, and that's all good. TJ has been hillarious in the short time I've known him, Mary-Alice has been there for me the whole time, Alicia supported me in my singing... It's like leaving family. They ARE my family. Shit. I'm gonna cry now.
God damn. I've cried too much the past week and a half. WAY too much. It's so not cool. SO not cool. I love them all. It's gonna be so hard not seeing them all every day. And I forgot to get Sherri to sign my yearbook. Damn.
Kelly:
You rock. You're the only one of my Halcyonite friends who reads this, so I'm sending a shoutout to you. Love you.
I'm gonna go cry some more now. Damnit.
Much love to you all.
~Caro
6 disappointments |
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2004 25 May :: 6.31pm
The visual thing went away. I'm not having that problem any longer, thank the Goddess. I'm very glad.
I'm working on a picture of Hikari for Nee. DAMN I HATE HIS HAIR. It's so hard to draw!!! I think I'm almost done, though. I draw much faster than her. XD And I've worked on it for about three days in much of the free time I've had. Now I just have to color it. Mrrf. I dun wanna wreck it! But the colors he has are soooo fun. So, I'm gonna try. If it looks like shit, I'm sorry, Nee! I'll try and re-draw it if it does.
Much love to you all.
~Caro
2 disappointments |
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2004 24 May :: 10.09pm
Seven days...
Of school left in the school year!
Happy days!
I just don't want to drift away from my friends...
I might get to go see Nee! YAY!
However, today was not the best of days. I got some pretty bad visual hullucination/distortion things going on. I had to come home early. It was bad when I had to go down the six flights of stairs at BHS. The stairs looked all slanted and freaky.
Yea.
~Caro
4 disappointments |
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2004 23 May :: 9.51pm
Amanda and I are both bi-sexual, by the way.
2 disappointments |
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2004 23 May :: 7.17pm
Funfunfun!!
Yesterday was awesome. My friend Amanda (from medicine horse) and I got together and we had an awesome time! The thing that lives in my closet scared the shit out of us sevral times, however. We were wageing a full out battle against it, and it didn't really end well. But that's okay. Once we got out of the house and into the street we had a great time. We did this a few times. One we were kinda running around and I stepped on one of the straps on my bondage pants and fell over backwards and my pants came down to like, my knees. XD It was like we were high, but we weren't. And I took her to RPG with me and she kept laying her head on my knee and I would pet her hair, and we thought some of the guys thought we were dating. At one point afterwards we were sitting on the couch and we were talking and I whispered, "I think some of the guys think we're dating." And she says in a normal voice. "Me too, but it would be fun to out with you." And I said "Yea, it would be." And everyone turns and looks at us. Hehe. Afterwards when we were waiting for mom we went back down stairs and I said: "Just to clarify, we are not dating." And Hunter looks at us and says "Okay." and we go back up the stairs and laugh. She thinks Hunter is totaly hot. I was like, "I told you so. You didn't beleive me." She said, "No, and I was sooo wrong."
This proves that I am over my boy (yes, I'm still going to call him that). Amanda likes him and I don't mind at all. ^________^ We were talking about how hot he was when we got home. It was fun.
Hey, just cause I dun like him that way doesn't mean he isn't hot as all hell. ^_^;;
It's so much fun having my friends stay the night at my house on Saturdays and then come to RPG with me. I love it! Now, if only Nee would come meet them...You're welcome to stop by any time, Nee. ^_^;;;
Amanda said that Alan was totaly flirting with me and I said, "Yes. I know. It makes me a bit uncomfortable." And it does.
She said "Your friends are so cool!!" And now I just have to meet her friends, and she has to meet Kelly, Sandi and Esma. We're thinking we might go to the Boulder Creek Festival together so I can meet her friends. We've decided that we're going to go very gothic-punk style (AHG! Stereotype! *Dies*) and then in dresses at night. I'm going to wear my Medieval green dress. Kelly, you should come, or something. That would be cool. You could come with us during the day, or something, if it works out. ^_^
Well, that was funn.
Much love, y'all. XD
~Caro
3 disappointments |
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2004 21 May :: 9.51pm
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: Sakura
LAST NIGHT WAS A BITCH
God! I don't know why I wen't to that kareoke thing. None of my friends showed and when they were doing the lettering thing, evrybody was cheering and calling out their friends names and stuff and I felt so alone...So I called my mom and had her come get me. And I cried in the car. I'm such a loser! Oh my god! AHGGG.
Death.
~Caro
7 disappointments |
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2004 18 May :: 9.44pm
Why does my water taste like...blood?
3 disappointments |
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2004 18 May :: 6.27pm
Yo. I'm going to dinosaur ridge on the morrow. I had to arrange so that I didn't get to go to Boulder High (Or sleep in ; . ;), which sucks. Miss Halabe (I'll ask her how she spells her name x.x) says that she really wants me to be in her class next year, so I'm going do beg Nadyne to let me be in her class. She rocks my socks ^_______^I love her so much!! She's definately one of my favorite teachers of all time. I thin equal at number 1 with Carol (who you don't know about).
SO, that's that. I'm going to have to start waking up at five fourty five or six every morning from now on. -_- Oh well.
~Caro
2 disappointments |
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2004 17 May :: 9.47pm
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2004 17 May :: 9.25pm
Many parenthases to follow.
I'm working on antro pictures of all my eighth grade buddies (which is the whole eighth grade, yes, all four of them. Esma, Sandi, Kelly and TJ) and it's comming along fine. But the only one who really looks like them is Kelly ¬¬ I'm still working on Sandi. I drew a generic face so I can wait to see Sandi (Yes, I take my sketch pad to school. No one really cares and I can draw in class, because I actualy pay attention whilst drawing unlike some other people *cough* TJ *cough* who can't multi task and get in deep shit for drawing.) so I can draw her better.
Nothing much happened today. But we got doughnuts in Chior for doing so well ^____^ And on Thursday we get to go sing karioki (not spelled right, I'm sure). Should be fun.
Not much else to say.
~Caro
2 disappointments |
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2004 15 May :: 8.32pm
:: Music: Broadsword by Jethro Tull
The sarcasm. It hurts. Ow.
Well, the choir concert went fine.
Yay.
My flute recital sucked.
Not yay.
I forgot the peice halfway through. Go me! I'm oh so clever, yes I am. I can't beleive what a good memory I have under pressure!
I hate to say it, but I cried.
Yep.
I cried.
-_-
I became cheered up for a period of time.
Go me.
Today I was the only person who showed up at Medicine Horse, so I didn't get to see Amanda, which sucks, because she's one of my only friends. Yep. Suckage.
But they have to miniature horses now. They're cute.
(Nee, I'm sure your're thrilled about the horses.)
Ow. It hurts so bad.
~Caro
5 disappointments |
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2004 12 May :: 9.50pm
I've got a chior concert tommorow. I'm not ready.
I'm not ready for anything. I'm not ready to face tomorow, or the day after. I'm not ready.
~Caro
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