Trash/Basura

:: 2003 1 December :: 5.13pm
:: Mood: sick

Blaaargg.....
I'm sick. I'm actualy half hoping it's the flu. It sure seems like it is. Gah. I'm pittiful.

:: 2003 30 November :: 8.11pm

Goodbye new found sliver of comfort...
Damn them all too Hell. Yes. That's right. I have to go back to school tommorow, a thought I can't think about without starting to cry. I was finaly starting to get things sorted out with the remaining hallucinations which I might add DIDN'T HAPPEN UNTILL I HAD A WEEK OFF FROM HELL!!! So now it's back to the hell hole and psycho-hallucinations, crainial[sp?]overhaul, idiots and more! Thats right folks! *Cheesy talks show host voice* And MORE!!

Alex says: {Gah. We finaly start getting things sorted out and now we go back, things get worse...It all leads up to misery. *Sigh* I hate Halcyon. oh no...Caro's gonna cry...Dun cry...}

Fack...Crying...Bye guys...

~Caro, the Lost and Fallen

:: 2003 30 November :: 2.07pm

Rain...
Falling on my head,
Drowning me in my own emotions.
Rain...
Causing the sand to melt away and envelope me.
Rain...
Eroding away my soul...
My very esence...
Rain...
Pain...
They sound so much alike,
Don't they?

:: 2003 30 November :: 2.00pm

mmm.. Permanent marker fumes...
Well, I'm depressed again. My moodswings are killing me. *Heaves a sigh* Ah, well. I'm still a bit worried about yon poltergiest *Points to the kitchen* but that's to be expected, ne? Well were going to see The Cat in the Hat which I heard was pretty good. *Sigh* Bark, Sadie, Bark... See Saidie run, Run Saidie, Run. See Saidie kill the squirel. Die squirel, die......

:: 2003 28 November :: 8.56pm

w00t!
Thank you Nei, for the most exelent new journal layout! *Huggle* It is the rock.

7|-|4|\||< Y0|_| |\|31!!

:: 2003 28 November :: 4.56pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Caroline: Runnin' with the Devil (Van Halen)/{Alex: Jamie's Cryin, Van Halen}

So the story ends...
I feel as if my "saga" is coming to an end...I'm not quite sure why...

Nei, You haven't talked to me in such a long time. . . I miss you muchly.

I have been writing a lot of weird poetry lately, (Such as the poem about the wind..) I don't really know why.

I've been having strange moodswings at night. I'm then compelled to take all the sheets off my bed, turn on techno, and lie so that my head is at the foot of the bed. This happened to me last year about the same time. It's very strange. Very, very strange...

Anywho, I just woke up a fer hours ago and had pumpkin pie and mashed potatoes for breakfast. mmmm.....Pie.....

Also, Mum and I are begining to think that there might be a poltergiest in the house. Yea. ; . ; I dun want to have to leave!!!

{Yea. So Caroline is a bit upset about the poltergiest (Partly because she doesn't like burning sage. ^_^; But I mean, having a ,alevolent poltergiest ontop of all the stuff were going through right now is quite stressful, ne?}
Thank you Alex...I think..
Other than that my parents just left for the weekend to go on their aniversary. Yay for them.

My brother (Peter) and I played Crainium against Aimee and Tiff. We kicked ther asses the first time and got kicked the last two times XD The last time was because I was half asleep... Everyone was impressed because I got Captain Ahab. Aimee coulden't guess when Tiff hummed Somewhere over the rainvow and that is saaaad Because she loves the wizard of Oz. I was literaly on the floor laughing. So that was good. Mmmm.....Pie....I mean...err...

~Caro, the Lost and Fallen

5 disappointments | If you must

:: 2003 27 November :: 2.58pm
:: Mood: a bot freaked still
:: Music: The X-Files Theme

Paranormal Explosions and many trips to the supermarket
The strangest thing happened last night. The pumpkin pies are in pyrex dishes which happen to be on the stove (On the two fron burners). My dad goes to turn the soup on, realizes he put on the wrong burner, turns it on and turns the burner on under the soup (Back right burner). Suddenly, One of the pyrex dishes explodes. The pie, now touching the burner, sizles. But that burner was never turned on, yet somehow the burner was hot enough to make the pyrex explode...
Strange, eh?

Anywho, we had to re make the pies at 7:00 pm lastnight. So dad and I had to go to the supermarket about four times because I kept geting the wrong ingredients ^_^;;
But as I said:
Strange, eh?

~Caro, the Lost and Fallen

:: 2003 25 November :: 4.43pm
:: Mood: contemplative

I just got back from runing erands with my dad. I also got paint for the Totoro I made out of clay. ^_^ Totoro, totoro...^_^

The wind was feirce last night. So feirce it seemed supernatural.
I wrote a poem about the wind...I like it muchly.

The wind blows�
Tears run down her cheeks as the wind whips her hair about her face,
But she can�t seem to make herself care anymore.
Her back to the wind,
Her cloak flowing around her body,
She stands,
Helpless to the Elements,
The wind tugging her forward.
Forced to her knees,
She looks up at the sky,
Soul ripping from body.
Her eyes glitter as she lets out a scream,
Essence torn away by supernatural wind.
Her body,
Soulless,
Lies on the ground,
Hair still whipped by the wind,
As if in life.

:: 2003 24 November :: 8.53pm

I changed the music. I hope that gives a new feel to the journal. I can't talk much right now, though I'll tell you I'm rather upset over some stuff. I wrote a poem but I'm not sure I can post it cause you'll think it's about someone but it really isn't... I guess I'll post it. The poem is about a girl who goes insane and kills everyone becuse she's in love with this guy who's in love with another girl. It is set in medieval times. IT ISN'T ABOUT ANYONE! OKAY?
good.

Spattered blood,
Crying eyes,
Shredded minds,
The ones that die.
Hold me close,
So you will too,
Let me loose,
I�ve things to do.
I�ll run you through,
But first play with your mind,
Some tortures don�t show,
The ones they won�t find.
Kiss me, love,
The last you�ll have,
I�ll kill her too,
You see I�ve gone mad.
The blood from her body,
Spattered on your shirt,
Now she�ll be buried
Under six feet of dirt.
Come here love,
You�re next to go,
A heave, a throw,
Her body�s gone.
You have to look at me,
As this knife blade,
Runs through you,
As it did She.
Slitting through shirt,
Muscle and skin,
You scream for help,
That I�ll pay for this sin.
I laugh in your face
As you slowly die,
I�ll leave every trace,
For them to find.
As now my rampage
Comes to an end,
It would not have happened,
Had you been my friend.
The knife cuts through me,
Your blood mixing with mine,
If you had loved me
We�d all still
Be
Alive.

:: 2003 23 November :: 7.04pm

Okay. I'm rather lost (more so than usual...) I drew this picture of me falling through darkness and it says "Catch me" I don't know why I use this metaphore so much, it just makes sence to me.

As you can see, I re vamped my journal and fixed the width problem (On my own! I'm so proud! ^_X;;;;;)

I wnat to thank all the people who have posted useful comments in my journal (*Cough* Nii and Meg*cough* I love you guys!)

I hope you like the layout. Do you think I should change the music? I think I might....

~Caro, the Lost and Fallen

:: 2003 23 November :: 1.23pm
:: Mood: Crushed/Devastated, but recovering

*Sigh*
I've realized I can never be in that kind of a relationship with Hunter because we're friends and if we broke up we might not still be friends. It hurts. But I hope that Hana might be able to be his girlfriend because she doesn't have an existing relationship with him (as friends) really. And if she did I'd still get to see him a lot. Hunter needs someone who is as deep as he is, and when Hana's not on meds she's really deep. But then again, so am I. But what I said still stands. I still want to able to be Hunter's friend. His mind amazes me and I love to be around him. *Sigh...* That doesn't mean I don't still love him, far from it, actualy. But it would never really work out. I mean, it would, but like I said, if we broke up, we might not still be friends. So...yea. But...Hope springs eternal.

~Caro, the Lost and Fallen

:: 2003 22 November :: 9.26pm

Alrighty, folkles. Here I be at home. Hana just left. Sooo...NO SCHOOL ALL NEXT WEEK, YEA!

Although I do feel like I'm going to barf....

I think I'm still having moodswings, and my risperdal [sp] is making me very slow mentaly. *Sigh* *Coughs* Hope I'm not getting what Nii has....

Get Better, Nii!!!!!!!!

~Caro, the Lost and Fallen

:: 2003 21 November :: 10.32pm
:: Mood: devastated

Ow
Guess what just happened to me.
I just fell on my godsdamned ass. I'm talking literaly. Yes. In my huge boots. I was just suddenly falling backwards and then i was lying on the sidewalk, my head in a bush. I knew that I had fallen and nobody caught me. They just helped me up and laughed. This is all literal. I just fell down outside the house, on my butt, in the dirt. And I was helped up and laughed "with" ��; I knew it.
Nobody caught me...
Nobody...
Caught me...

Oh, Nii...Hurry and get here...

all this on my dad's birthday.
~Caro, the Lost and Fallen

PS oh great. A cup full of pills, and a Bitch on YIM

:: 2003 21 November :: 7.06pm

It's mah Dad's Birthday. W00t.

:: 2003 21 November :: 11.54am

; . ;
So I was all exited about bowling and what not, I even wore [sp?] my lucky sock. I get to school and they sy I cant go because I don't have all my gods damned homewok done. I think I earned the damned trip! I mean really! My outside of school therapyst [I still can't spell that] even wrote me a note saing that I would be slow on my home-work. So now my friends will be bowling all afternoon and I get to finish [and re-do the page I lost of] my math homework. Totaly not fair.
Now, Alex shal speak: {Gods. I don't rally think is fair. Caro has been working her ASS off. She's so tired from the meds that she can't react as well to the hallucinations. I must say that I'm qite tired my self. I'm just not sure how to help her. Oh, and Coke...Get well soon, buddie!}
Back to Caro: Any whoo, I would like to say: Nii-Nii, Get better. I wnat to hear your voice again.

~Caro, the Lost