DiTzYjEnN
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2005 13 February :: 8.03pm
why did i have such high expectations for this year? i thought sophomore year would be the BEST. i was finally an upperclassman and things would get BETTER. only now i reliezed this has been the WORST year ever, and things got WORSE. i dont know where my life is going or what im doing half the time. im lost in a tunnel of confusion not knowing where to go out or where i came in. just mingling around with no clue and no ambition to figure it all out. because i never will. everyone has that point in life when things have been a big blur forever but then they get it. everything straightens out and your life is in order. its hard for me to watch so many go through that wondering when it will happen, if it ever does happen, to me.
1 *time been annoyed* |
*annoy me here*
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DiTzYjEnN
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2005 13 February :: 7.59pm
damnit, i miss you. i miss hanging out with you all the time and being so close to you. whenever i hear ppl say they hung out with you or they are going to your house, i get so jelous. i saw a few pictures someone took of me and you last year. for some reason you still can take my breath away. all these stupid ppl you just met this year think your such an awesome guy. but they have no idea what your really like. no one has any idea how bad you use ppl or how hard you can make someone laugh and cry at the same time. maybe it's becasue you only act that way towards me. im the only one who knows how we are and i hate that. no one knows about anything we have been through.
ugg.
im glad i can say im free of your shit. but in the back of my head, i still miss it. im also glad i can say im deff. over you, its just i hate that were not even half as close to being as good of friends as we were.
*annoy me here*
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musicalbabe
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2004 30 December :: 10.28pm
:: Mood: surprised
UPDATE!
I can't believe I'm slowly abandoning my woohu!! I wonder if there's still that option to get it printed?!
I dunno, it's just that livejournal has so many more PEOPLE!! And like, all of the college dudes too! And my buddy list ROCKS!! And there are like REAL, LIVE COMMUNITIES!!
Idk...
Well anyway, I'm here in not-so-sunny LA. I've seen bandfest and equestfest (which both ROCKED!!) and tomorrow I'm spending the day at Universal Studios! Whoo!! And then it's the Rose Parade! Yay!!
Mmmm...I'm officially in the music camp in Maine! Whoo!!
Not much other news. The family's doing a new year's resolution to lose weight...again. So I guess the 5 or so lbs I gained back from being on break will dissappear again. And I'm in PE next semester...and I'm gonna do swimming and should be doing some dancing as a part of the musical...YAYNESS!!
Annnneeeeways...PHANTOM ROCKS!
And that is all.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
3 *time been annoyed* |
*annoy me here*
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musicalbabe
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2004 18 December :: 5.38pm
:: Mood: in tears
*sigh*
Weddings are SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!!!
2 *time been annoyed* |
*annoy me here*
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musicalbabe
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2004 15 December :: 3.22pm
:: Music: Lincoln Park-Faint
Quote of Yesterday:
""that looks like something that i would see on an old, preppy, Princeton.... man"
Thank you so much, Ali. I THOUGHT THE TEAL/WHITE SWEATER WAS CUTE! lol...good times at target...:-P
3 *time been annoyed* |
*annoy me here*
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musicalbabe
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2004 14 December :: 7.07pm
Nice! (yes, I now post the same things in LJ and woohu)
The freshman in my band class has definitely proven to have an interest in me. He sat like RIGHT next to me during our "final" (a short survey about our musical experience etc.) and kept asking if he could "cheat". LOL. He definitely looked me over a few times...and then when Lane finished and started bugging me about "how much it would be for tonight" and I answered something like "$50-$60, but it's finals week, and we could only go for 2 or 3 hours," he REALLY perked up. He didn't catch on that it was an inside joke till I filled him in on it. LMAO! And then he confessed that he couldn't stop thinking about it...:-P He offered $100.
So ummm...not sure what I'm going to do about this. I'm definitely into him, even though he's a freshman, and I STILL do not know his name. Man, does he look good in beanies though...sooooo cute!
Chances are good that I set the Alg II final curve. Nice.
I definitely killed my stomach after school today, though. Went downtown with Sara, Sarah, and Ali and ate at the Coffee Shop. (Scramble with bacon, cheddar, and avacado, sourdough toast, hashbrowns, some of Sara's bacon burger...) Then we went to Baskin Robin's to meet Sarah's mom, but then Sarah didn't want a milkshake. Of course, I piped up and said something like "Sarah, GET A MILKSHAKE!! I WANT ONE TOO!" So then Sarah's mom's like "I'll buy you one!" So I drink a mint choc. chip milkshake. On the way to Sara's house (walking), Ali's all "I'm full. Anyone want this? If not I'm just gonna throw it away!" So of course I want it. It's Gold Medal Ribbon and GOOOD. So I drink it. By the time we get to Sara's house my stomach is trying to MURDER me. What do I do? Ask if I can go on Sara's computer (as we'd made a decision to study LATER) and start IMing everyone about it. The greatest conversation was: (not word for word)
me: hi! this is melissa at sara's house.
me: my stomach hurts!! WAHHHHH!!!
jeff: Why?
me: because i'm having your baby.
jeff: Cool.
me: what?! you don't care?!
jeff: Not when I'm eating.
me: but this could be dasani!
jeff: Dasani could always be a middle name, you know.
me: no, i like it. it's artistic.
PSH. No one really cares about my stomach, apparently. I almost freaked out this morning though. I was taking a shower (oh la la!) and suddenly I got this MASSIVE cramp. Like one of the ones that hit you all of a sudden and you can't even MOVE you're in sooo much pain. So I'm in the shower and I'm like F*@&$! I CAN'T MOVE! PAIN! *TEAR*! So ummm...IT'S THE FIRST DAY OF FINALS!! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO IF I GET HORRENDOUS CRAMPS DURING MY ALG II FINAL AND CAN'T FREAKING MOVE?!!? So as I'm getting ready for school I keep getting them at like random intervals. NOT GOOD!! Luckully, by the time it was 8:15, I stopped getting them. RANDOM!! I have a funny feeling it had something to do with my realllly not-so-good eating habits recently (the 1-meal-a-day plan because there's no time and Mr. Shaull, as much as he thinks he gives us time to eat in G21/CC, does not) and me eating lots last night. Hrm. My digestive system is officially on strike, apparently. This sucks.
BUT 2 FINALS DOWN, 5 TO GO! Tomorrow brings Chorale/French III, Thursday is my bad day, MEHAP/Chemistry, and then WLH on Friday. Definitely not as bad as last year!!
Hope you all are doing well! IT'S ALMOST BREAK!! (Oh, and don't feel bad if you don't get xmas presents by the end of this week. I'm in a bit of a tizzy about presents. I need to have like 3 bought by Friday. EEEEK!)
*annoy me here*
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musicalbabe
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2004 13 December :: 5.13pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Into the Woods-On the Steps of the Palace
Update!
"...and then earlier this evening i did carolling for cans with interact. wow way much fun. we basically just walked around carolling(very tone-deafedly, melissa darling you would have killed us all) and collecting cans at different houses. one lady actually like plugged her ears. HAHAHA. "
Haha!! I wouldn't have killed you, just gotten extremely frustrated. But LOL!! I love you darling!
So I've been busy recently. (I know, you didn't see that one coming, did you?) 4 concerts in...*calculates* 11 days. Okay, so that's not so impressive, but they went as follows:
Thursday: somewhat of a surprise G21/CC/MSS performance at Filoli
-lots of fun!!
-missed half of 5th and all of 7th...ugh!
-Magnificat was CRAP!! very funny...
-Estampie didn't suck!!
-Debbie was about ready to kill Mr. Shaull
-Mr. Shaull was about ready to kill the audience
-Filoli was PREEETY!!
Tuesday: G21/MSS holiday concert
-sat and watched MSS sing...fun stuff!
-did the chant (eeeek!!)
-sang lots of stuff, feet went numb
-listened to more of MSS and HOLIDAY STUFF!!!
(I must admit that every December I LIVE to hear MSS sing their holiday repetoire. No joke. I love you THAT MUCH!!)
Wedesday: Instrumental Music Winter Concert
-SOOOO NERVOUS!!!!!!!
-Prelude and Fugue was okay...
-oboe solo on El Camino went really well!!
-mom cried (ohhh her wittle babykins had an oboe solo....ooooh)
-people said I did a good job :-D
Sunday: Choral Union Winter Concert
-came in blouse/skirt for Chorale picture
-changed into dress for CC/G21 pictures
-sang with CC...Estampie was a little off, Ose Shalom/Hymn of Praise were okay
-changed during ONE SONG (VMG) into blouse/skirt, unpacked oboe, had no spit, "wet" reed, walked onstage
-sang SWS as Alex was not onstage for his solo, held oboe/music/reed while singing
-tuned oboe...yeesh! scary! played oboe solo, not bad, back to sing
-sang Lord of the Dance, SUCKED, end Chorale
-changed back into dress during GE, put oboe away, went on for G21
-G21 sounded AWESOME!!! Fun stuff!!!
-break, feet are officially numb
-on for Magnificat, awesome time singing Magnificat, feet are in even MORE pain
-hobble offstage, bow too many times because of a standing ovation
Fun, no?
We also had an 11-1 rehearsal with orchestra on Saturday, on which day we also got our Christmas tree, and I sang with church people (quartet) for 8:00 service Christmas Eve. Good times! Vented to Andrew about coughthingscough, came home, listened to Magnificat/MVHS Madrigals/Grunt: A Pigorian Chant while putting ornaments on tree/eating ice cream.
Sunday I also had church, sang for Shaully (LOLROTFLMAO) becuase Jerry broke her foot, rode my trainer's horse at Shoestring, (OMG FREAKISH 17.1H MARE!!! Pretty fun, though...) got to LAHS by 4:30 (BARELY!) for call time for pics.
Oh, and I finally met Jeff's "hot" cousin Jake. Sarah seems to think that he's hers before he's mine. Ummm no. I dated Jake's cousin, I get to date Jake FIRST. HE'S MINE, OKAY? Oh, and so is this freshman in band. He plays contrabass clarinet, and was on Water Polo. HOTNESS. He shaved his CUTE curly reddish hair because they went undefeated. Now he goes around wearing these cute little knit beanies!! He's very huggable and speaks 4 languages. Okay, so he IS a freshman, but HE'S HOT. And I don't know his name. Shut up.
So I have my Alg II final tomorrow. I can get 42% on the final and still have an A- in the class. No joke. WHOOO!!
6 *time been annoyed* |
*annoy me here*
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musicalbabe
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2004 11 December :: 10.08pm
:: Mood: amused
HAHAHAHAAAAA!!! *dies of laughter*
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0761105948/qid=1102831712/sr=8-1/ref=pd_csp_1/103-6406595-1490226?v=glance&s=books&n=507846
Now if that isn't the funniest thing you've ever heard of...
I'm definitely getting that for some special singing people for Christmas!! It's sooooo hilarious! From 'allemooia' to 'ore-snay' and 'quacka quacka', it's PRICELESS!!
Concert tomorrow. What fun. (Not.)
*annoy me here*
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musicalbabe
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2004 6 December :: 7.42pm
:: Mood: hyper
Must...procrastinate...further...
OMG I'M SO HYPER!! 3 POSTS IN ONE DAY!!
(I just ate dinner. Like REAL FOOD. My body is going CRAZY!! I seriously haven't had a decent meal in over a month.)
Horseeyoregal: we'd be THE BEST married couple EVAR
Horseeyoregal: ya know?
Horseeyoregal: lol
LbBabe127: yeah you would
LbBabe127: lol
LbBabe127: that's the sad thing
LbBabe127: :-P
Horseeyoregal: well, it's a happy thing for me
Horseeyoregal: nicole agrees with me that we'll be the best married couple EVAR
cafemochagal37: o yea, i definitely think so, too
Horseeyoregal: :-D
cafemochagal37: dude, you are totally perfect
Horseeyoregal: yes, yes we are
Horseeyoregal: :-P
cafemochagal37: lol i luv u
Horseeyoregal: i love you too
SwEeTrOxYcHiCk42: he is hella fuckin cool
Horseeyoregal: but don't you'd think we'd be the best couple EVER?? we'd have such awesome kids...:-P
SwEeTrOxYcHiCk42: yah
SwEeTrOxYcHiCk42: ud ahve such awesome sex
Horseeyoregal: oh you know it!
Hahahahaha...this is so fun! :-P
*annoy me here*
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musicalbabe
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2004 6 December :: 7.06pm
Boyfriend...
For some reason or another, I've been getting the "Melissa, you need a boyfriend" lecture from a ton of people recently.
I'd have to agree with that. Not that I actually have time for one. I'd be such a crappy girlfriend...:-P Maybe I just need practice...?
But recently, I've really just wanted a hug. (From a guy.) I don't necessarily want someone for the romantic aspect of it, just someone to be really close to. Ya know, someone to go to when I need to rant or complain, someone who'll just hug me and make me feel better when certain people coughShaullcough are being less than friendly. Someone who understands all of that. Someone who understands me.
Yeah well, we can't all have what we want, can we? And the truth of the matter is, I really don't have time to pursue a relationship with anyone right now. I just don't have the time to make anything really work.
*sigh*
Someday my prince will come...:-P Heehee!
Until then...I'll try to figure out who to ask to Winter Formal...ahh, boys...:-D
5 *time been annoyed* |
*annoy me here*
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musicalbabe
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2004 6 December :: 5.10pm
:: Mood: curious
:: Music: Ose Shalom
WOAH!! WHAT HAPPENED TO WOOHU?!
So umm...now woohu looks exactly like livejournal. Except that it's woohu. And not livejournal.
WHAT?!?!
I guess the new layout is kind of cool...and that woohu codes are rare and I only had to pay like $2 for my account. This is soo weird!
So I got 5 hours of sleep last night, if that. Probably more like 4 and a half. The Advent Dinner went well (even though I totally like DID NOT HELP at all except for pouring water and Martinelli's) but I'm completely wiped from the day. How come Mr. Shaull gets to take a sick day? (Just kidding, the man's actually really sick. THAT DOESN'T GIVE HIM PERMISSION TO MAKE CERTAIN PEOPLE CRY, THOUGH!!)
Sooo glad there's no CC tonight and that I didn't have to sing in Chorale or Chorale Union today. *sigh*
So I got into that music camp in Maine!! YAY!! The sucky thing is that I have to make audition tapes still. And certain voice teachers coughPaigecough were really hesitant to help me. I think I'm going to need to ask Deb for a favor on this one...grrr. I've never made an audition tape before, and it's MUCH too stressful. Especially during the week before finals, when I'm sick AND have 3 concerts. Blech.
Well I'm really not in the mood to do anything but whine. Saturday was okay, spent like the ENTIRE day partying with pool boys. And by pool boys I mean friends from church, and by partying I mean writing a Christmas Pageant. ;-) Also went to see Nutcracker. Ali and Ruthie were so beautiful! Laramie Project Saturday night was INCREDIBLE!! Definitely cried through like half of it!! Such a great show, guys!! I'm glad a certain person coughSatterwhitecough didn't ruin it for you all. I mean, editing it is enough. I'm already pissed at her for that. If she had cancelled it because of something SO STUPID AND NOT EVEN THAT BAD... Sunday was filled with discussion during church (ooh, we're bad church people), an awesome horseback riding lesson, stress about getting people to my church to serve at the Advent Dinner, singing in choir (aka H-E-double hockey sticks), reading in the service (I totally came in late and didn't know what I was doing...lol!), and serving at the dinner until like 10. Didn't start weekend homework until about 11. (Thus getting to bed around 2am...)
So before I play/sing at any of these holiday concert thingies, I'd just like to point out two things:
1) I'm sick. My voice does not sound like it usually does. (Not that you'll be able to hear me anyway, except for in Chorale.)
2) I started playing oboe again this year, starting second quarter, after a break of about a year and a half. I'm not exactly in oboe soloing condition. But what do I get as soon as I pick up my instrument again? A long solo in Symphonic Band and an accompaniment part for Chorale. Growl.
And now...I should do homework. Lack of sleep, not having my singing audition tape done, and general moodiness is not a good combination. *scowl*
4 *time been annoyed* |
*annoy me here*
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musicalbabe
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2004 29 November :: 7.35pm
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: Songs for a New World-I'm Not Afraid
And again I ask...
How many tears is it going to take before I realize that I need to change my life?
I don't know if you've noticed it, but every time I cry, I say so in my journal. (Most recently at/after WBA Finals, when I lost it and stressed out a few weeks ago, when my bird bit me...) All things considered, I don't cry very often. And if you see me at school frequently, chances are you view me as a generally cheerful individual. (If you're a really good friend of mine, maybe you don't see me as being that way, but in general, I do consider myself a happy person.)
Mr. Shaull made me cry today.
First time I've cried in his class. I don't think it'll be the last...especially if I'm in MSS next year. Granted, I've come close MANY a time, and have forced back tears a few times this year already, but I haven't completely broken down.
I'll tell you the whole story in person, (in a very animated, nearly hysterical manner, seeing as that's the only way I can give the story justice) but it involves Chorale, Mr. Shaull stressed because we all sound like shit and the winter concert is coming up, and me trying to sightread a holiday piece for Chorale on oboe. Oh, and then there's the part where he insulted my musicality, even though he gave me next to no time to warm up, I'd never played the music before, (my fault, apparently I was supposed to read into the instruction to 'bring your oboe on Monday' even though he generally says things like that and then forgets) and I was (and am) EXTREMELY SICK AND NOT IN THE GREATEST OF CONDITION TO 'sing' THROUGH MY OBOE.
Props to me, though, for basically saying 'Fuck you' to Mr. Shaull in a VERY discreet and retaliatory manner. (Teehee.)
Also gotta love the reaction he gave me when, after breaking down in Debbie's arms, (she beckoned me over to hug me after class and I just lost it) I proceeded to tearfully pack up my stuff and leave. He gave me this 'holy crap, I'm really sorry!' look, put his arm around me, looked me in the eye (our heads must have been like 2 inches apart) and asked me how sick I was feeling, what I had, and said that it was a misunderstanding and that he didn't realize that I was sighreading. (*That still doesn't beat the 'Are you mad at me?' reaction that Katherine got once, though.)
So I leave Chorale in tears, and arrive all red-eyed and blotchy-faced, tears still streaming down my face, to Symphonic Band. (Yeah, the 5-step walk between sides of the music building doesn't really give you much time to compose yourself.) A few band people hug me, (I love compassionate freshman boys!) and I get A LOT of weird looks from people, especially the marching band flutes who know me. Yeah, so guess what we do in Symphonic band? We tune like CRAZY (an oboe player's HELL, especially since THERE'S NO CONSISTENT PITCH BETWEEN SECTIONS OF THE BAND AND YOU HAVE EXPOSED PARTS WITH TRUMPETS, FLUTES, AND A SOLO WITH CLARINET CHORDS IN THE BACKGROUND), play the tune with long, slow notes (aka breath control and torture of the mouth) and work through the oboe solo in El Camino. It actually isn't the solo that needs work, it's the chords coming in after the first few measures. So by the end of fourth period, I'M JUST FEELING GREAT.
Lunch. A break, you think. Oh no. Girls 21 is on Mondays at lunch. So I have to go BACK in there, where Mr. Shaull continues to be obnoxious by explaining to us the importance of his hands and how expressive they are.
Yeah, I had a shitty day.
Originally I was thinking of composing some really long entry about how humans create their own problems for themselves, and how people who don't have to worry about fundamental issues such as food, shelter, acceptance, and whatnot ultimately create other obsticals for themselves. (In my case, being involved in too many things and not accepting less than the best from myself in ALL areas.) After crying my eyes out in my room for about an hour and a half and doing another hour and a half's time of homework, it didn't turn out that way. Maybe later.
I'd like to end this by saying that my eyes, nose, and especially lips are burning. My lips are chapped (not around the lips, on TOP of the lips) and have something resembling large scabs on them, and are extremely red and swollen. I REALLY do not feel like practicing oboe right now.
17 *time been annoyed* |
*annoy me here*
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musicalbabe
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2004 27 November :: 9.11am
I did it!!
I donated my hair! : ) It felt SOOOO good! It was cut a LOT shorter than my mom wanted it to be, but I like it, and it's really healthy and nice now! It seriously must have been like 14-15 inches of hair in that bundle...that was probably the best part: seeing the bundle that's going to be donated.
You may view my new hair cut here:
http://community.webshots.com/album/222898119JfNWEh
So I've had a REALLY nice, relaxing thanksgiving vacation so far! Mom and Brian got really bad colds, so they were cranky and didn't really want to cook much. Brian's mom came to the rescue with a lot of that, I think. We didn't eat until like 7:30...haha! I slept in, though...and relaxed. And listened to music and did homework and such. Watched 'Supersize Me' and 'Varsity Blues'. Good times...
Hung with Nicole at my house for a bit, then cookie party/dance fest at Louise's...fun fun!
Crashed the Haymans' day-after-thanksgiving party for the second year in a row...haha! Then went flocking...: )
FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS TOMORROW!! LAHS EAGLE MARCHING BAND'S LAST OFFICIAL PERFORMANCE!! (for the 2004 season...) Downtown Los Altos, 7:00, Sunday, November 28!! Be there!!
11 *time been annoyed* |
*annoy me here*
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musicalbabe
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2004 24 November :: 3.01pm
:: Music: Pajama Game-Hernando's Hideaway
I updated!
So much has happened! I've been sooo busy! I'll just make a short list of memorable events. This will not be in chronological order.
*Conducted the first half of the LAHS home football game and sang the national anthem with Deanna and Sharon! Oohhh, historical!
*Went to see The Incredibles with church people! Fun!
*Had an awesome Fall Finale and marched with an ADORABLE 6 year old. (Who decided that she's going to be in marching band!)
*Had our first G21 concert, a festival with like 6 other schools. Very stressful, but really exciting. I got 3 personal comments from Shaull (good ones) in G21 in 2 days! Now THAT'S an accomplishment!
*Ditched a TON of church/horseback riding because of band events... :-( I feel bad about that!
*Went to finals in Modesto!!! Cried a LOOOTTTT (along with everyone else), enjoyed a 4+ hour Senior Recognition night (such an incredible evening!), performed in Prelims, made finals, performed in finals (at night when it was coooold and windy!) and ended up getting 7th place in A, AA, AAA championships!! WHOOOO!! Probably the most rewarding/amazing/best time spent EVER. I LOVE YOU GUYS SOOOO MUCH!!
*Cried about finals at church/at home/in the car/everywhere and turned into a stress case the Sunday after.
*Lived through Monday, Tuesday, and the school day of Wednesday.
Yup, so that's life in a nutshell.
Next up:
*Thanksgiving with my mom, Brian, and Brian's mom. (only a little bitter that there's only going to be one person related to me at the table...)
*Drumguard/Clarinet/Sax lunch/party before Festival of Lights.
*Festival of Lights parade, downtown Los Altos!!
1 *time been annoyed* |
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DiTzYjEnN
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2004 21 November :: 8.06pm
omg i met this relly cute guy a little over a week ago. hes nice, cute, has a great voice, and ive been talking to him almost everyday since i started talking to him. its crazy how much u can like a person that uve never even talked to in person b4. i saw him at states wen both our bands were going to the bathroom, but we didnt talk. i cant believe i was soo close to him, but didnt even get to say "hi". the day wen i get my license will be great. cuz im going to drive and see him. either that or he can come here. im only 5 days older than him, which is kinda cool. everyday we find sumthing new and interesting to talk about. i never know what will come up. and i like that.
thats all. i jst needed to get that out
*annoy me here*
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