elleipein

elleipein

:: 2004 19 December :: 11.42am
:: Mood: busy

TONS of shit to do today. I have to go to the library to get books for the internal assessment, go to target to get clothes for the kid that I'm sponsoring or whatever in band, go to petco to get cat food, bake cookies for the band party tomorrow, write more college essays, and somewhere in there find time to study. Although, it is nice that I only have two tests that I have to study for. But it's not nice that they're on the same day. I guess it might be just as good to get them over with. Except I'm not getting them over with until wednesday. Ah, well, c'est la vie.

Went to the FAU library with amanda and amalia yesterday, only to find out that it was CLOSED. Bitches.. So we were gonna try to go to the regular library, but at that point it was 4:45 and I was told the library closes at 5. Soooo...we loitered in the parking lot for a good long while before deciding to go to the mall. I had to go home to mooch some money off of my mom, and surprisingly she gave some to me. Only because I'm mad at her and she wants to use this against me later, but I'll take what I can get. So I bought fuzzy fleece pants like amalia has and a fleece purse because it was fuzzy and 6 dollars. Then I went home and worked on college apps until 2 AM. I got all of my essays except for one for northwestern polished to a point where I'd be willing to submit them, and I was gonna do the BS stuff then too, but their stupid site was down. So instead I applied to Miami. That took all of thirty minutes. I wish I would have known it would be that easy before november 1 so I could have gotten my acceptance letter sooner. A bit cocky, maybe, but I know I'm getting in.. Then I did all the bitch work for the Penn application. Like all the brainless stuff. I still have to do a number of essays for penn, but they're not too too bad. I can tweak my big northwestern one to use it for the big penn one, once I get it more polished. Then I also have to do a one page essay on Describe the courses of study and unique characteristics of the University of Pennsylvania that most interest you. Why do these interests make you a good match for Penn? Yeah, that one's pretty easy though. Just have to actually write it. I probably won't get around to it today, but wednesday night I'm gonna try to finish atleast the first draft of these essays. Because then I'll be done with all my hard exams and will have no more internal assessment to write. Actually, I have my tok oral the next day; it'll depend on where I am with that. Pretty much these next few days are going to be shaped by when I can get books for history and when I get this paper finished. If I really try hard and have some good luck, I'm hoping to get the paper written and apply to northwestern today. That way tomorrow will be less stressful and tuesday I can just worry about studying for chem and history. Yeah, let's see how that goes. Hopefully northwestern has their friggin application site up and running, grr.. Well, I really can't waste any more time writing this, so I'm gonna go. Wish me luck!

Never look back.

tboblp

:: 2004 18 December :: 6.48pm

Hockey at 10, bowling at 12:30, I'm going to be very tired! My audition I feel went very well. If my song selection was ok I'm confident I'll be accepted without a problem. The guy said I will know around christmas. I can't wait to get the letter, no matter what the outcome. Harry Connick junior is weird looking and a bad singer...why is he on tv?

Never look back.

beagle147

:: 2004 17 December :: 10.36pm
:: Mood: depressed

Today was a terrible day. But when I look back on it, nothing really all that terrible happened. And some good things even happened. We did the essay portion of our french mocks in groups, ms zap is letting me redo my oral on the exam day (yey), and....yeah that's about all the good that happened. But nothing drastically awful happened, I'm just really depressed. I was really pissed at the end of the day because ms crocco locked the band room door like 5 seconds before I got there, and was inside and wouldnt let me in. Not only would she not let me in, but she wouldn't let katy go back through the unlocked door at the parking lot to let me in herself. I was at the fence when she came out, and she goes "Walk around." God it was just not what I needed. I was thoroughly pissed and managed to injure my foot kicking a pillar on my way around the fucking gym. I think I scared Adam a little with my tantrum-y throwing of my backpack and slamming of car doors. He tried to follow me home, but got stuck at this van that randomly decided to stop forever at a red light, rather than moving when the light was done. Eh, I'll talk to him later.

I pretty much did nothing this afternoon when I got home. My mom went to the christmas play at school, and I made some rice thing for dinner, but after I cooked it I didnt really feel like eating, so I put it in the fridge. I had a mango later. Watched a bit of school of rock and a little rudolph. Tomorrow I have to go to the FAU library. I need this weekend, but I can't even have 2 days because of the damn history paper. Argh. Hopefully I can get it done tomorrow. And I guess it's not the worst thing in the world. I dunno. I don't really have a lot to complain about in terms of concrete shittiness, but I'm still really depressed. A lot of people are really depressed lately, especially as this week dragged on. Next week promises to be worse, then a break. Finally. I think today was just the straw that broke the camel's back. It's just kinda getting too much to handle. Although I've heard that second semester senior year is the easiest of all 8 of them. Let's hope so. Just can't deal anymore.

Maybe tomorrow I'll go to petco to cheer myself up.

Never look back.

SeraphimRhapsody

:: 2004 16 December :: 7.34pm
:: Mood: lost

lost

We are all afraid to love because we are afraid that what we love may leave someday.

Never look back.

SeraphimRhapsody

:: 2004 16 December :: 1.28am
:: Mood: lost

...
I'm suddenly intensely sad.

I feel like I've drifted again. Of course I have, isn't that what I always do? But no, this time it's like....I've drifted from friends, but it's accepted and I'm not entirely wanted back.

It's like...I'm gone from that group....and it doesn't really matter. Not like I figured it would matter since in my head it doesn't....but feeling it like this is different. In my head being...before. Now in my head it does matter. It's down to the last few months. This isn't how I want it to be. I want to be in with the group. I want to know what's up. I want to be friends like we were once.

But yet again, I don't know what to do. I've told myself it's all about IMing them. Maybe if I IMed them once every day we'd get back into the swing. But...I have nothing to talk about. Such fear.

I feel like it's the wrong me they see now. They should know better, some of them have seen deeper sides of me than most. But what can I do?

Drifting.

Drifting.

Drifted.

Gone.

Shall I just call it fine as it is now and let them all go?
It will be the end, I am sure.
But even if I tried, the end would still be inevitable.

Easier to give up.
More painful to give up.
Easy. Pain.
When have I ever cared how much I'm hurt?

With Love.
~*~

Never look back.

SeraphimRhapsody

:: 2004 14 December :: 10.57pm
:: Mood: anxious

boulevard of broken dreams
I'm not doing too well lately.

I really want to write in my journals...I have everything planned out as to what I want to type.....and then it gets down to me sitting here and I can't get myself to type. It's fun.

Courtney: but one good thing happend to me
Courtney: i gave up all my christmas presents to help out these 4 people (we have an angel tree in school and i picked 4 angels off of the tree and in order to help them i had to give up my christmas presents) and to me knowing that i put a smile on someone's face is much more precious to me than getting christmas gifts

How amazing is that?

Andrei IMed her and told her how godly amazing he felt that was. Scared her, but when I explained he was just a crazy friend whom I had shared that clip with, she said it made her day better and was quite happy afterwards.

Andy hasn't been online for a long while. Neither has Denver. Both came on twice this week and I've we've at least exchanged greetings.

Sometimes I wonder about Glenn. He's promised several times that he would be returning within the next few months. I think they keep him detained in Iraq. He has a son, a family. Many of them over there do.
This war is pointless now.

School keeps screwing me over. It's rather entertaining to take a step back and examine all it's done.

Second to last time I officially march with my bass drum. :'(

Lots of people have been accepted into colleges. Congrats!

Here's that survey I stole from Amanda who stole from someone else.
It's quite interesting and surprising, the things I've done and the things I haven't. Least I enjoyed this survey.
Read more..

Aye, not the most interesting life either. A bit extreme things in there (not like that, geez, traveling mainly). Lots still I should try.

With love.....
~*~

Never look back.

tboblp

:: 2004 13 December :: 3.14pm

The final lineup for the audition
If youre looking to hear these songs, they shouldnt be hard to find on some kazaa-like program. Michelle is by the Beatles and Blue Bossa is by Joe Henderson. Of course my chord melody arrangement for Michelle is nothing like the original. The melody i refer to is vocal, the chords are the same as used in the song, and the altered chord melody is improv of the original chord melody. Blue Bossa I use the same melody, note wise, and the same chords being played on the piano in the song. I play the chords and melody in two different places for the piece, to add a little flavour and show my versatility. In a typical performance I would play in a single position throughout the song. The timing that I use for blue bossa is much less 'latin' and more jazz/blues sounding, almost swing-like.

AUDITION

First Piece:
Michelle

I. Chord Melody
Play through repeat
II. Note Melody
D.S.
III. Rhythm chords
D.S.
IV. Altered Chord Melody
D.S. al Coda
V. Chord Melody
Coda

Second Piece:
Blue Bossa
(No musical direction, play through entire piece each time)

I. Rhythm 1st position
II. Melody 1st position
III. Improv 1st position
IV. Rhythm 2nd position
V. Improv melody 2nd position
VI. Arppegio melody 1st position
VII. Melody 1st position
VIII. Rhythm 1st position

Never look back.

tboblp

:: 2004 12 December :: 5.16pm

stolen from amanda
A) First, recommend to me:
1. a movie
2. a book
3. a musical artist, song, or album

(B) I want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions: no more, no less. Ask me anything you want.

(C) Then I want you to go to your journal and copy and paste this, allowing your friends to ask you anything.

4 glances | Never look back.