The Ramblings of the Official Whatsit
"Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination." -Mark Twain
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SeraphimRhapsody

:: 2004 24 April :: 2.53am
:: Mood: a melting pot of emotions
:: Music: Amanda's Spiffeh Mix

Gesundheit.
I am so pissed off. Among other emotions.

So I get up this morning. Rush over to Old School Square. Drive around for like 20 minutes trying to find a relatively close spot to park. Cart the second bass and another harness over to the event. And hang around for Paul to get there. Cameron and Vinh were already there. We wait and wait and when Paul gets here.. there are only four of us. One for each of the different instruments. Our playing is called off because the others who said they'd be there didn't feel like getting up and coming over there.

So they left and I wandered to hang with Allison and Kyu at the sand creation booth. Then they left. I wandered some more and found Ali. Talked with her a bit until the supervisor came over. Then I made to leave but I found Danny. That made me happy. So I helped him at the sand creation booth for a bit, then we got moved to the jousting and I made sure the little kids didn't fall and scrape themselves up.
I heard Carver's drumline. And some other drumline on the steel drums.
I wrote myself down as community service from 11:30-2.


Parent's went off again. Grades I think it was over this time. That and my 'contempt I outwardly show of them' to which I told him to go get a book on parenting teens.

They wouldn't let me enjoy the one thing that was supposed to make me smile and happy. Thanks for letting me borrow that episode Natalia, it really was funny.


I guess what I said could be considered lies now, Tom.


Something Has Happened!
You are now eligible to use 'Fire Paw' as an avatar on the NeoBoards!


[Denver:] pain only hurts for so long then you get used to it
[Me:] that sounds like something I'd say hun
[Denver:] i know
[Denver:] i was wonderingif you would react to that
[Me:] silly goose
[Denver:] your cynicle commentary is useually kinda deep and remotely poetic as well as wise beyound what you give yourself credit for
( Goodness me he sees something through my masks. )


[Me:] what stopped you [from slitting your wrist and commiting suicide last weekend]?
[Courtney:] i thought of u
[Me:] did you really? that cant be all that stopped you
[Courtney:] yeah it was
[Courtney:] and i knew what u would say
[Me:] what would I say?
[Courtney:] not to do it
[Me:] you still have so much life ahead of you sweetheart life that will be good and hopeful and happy
( Should I be happy the thought of me made her stop? Stressed I hold that kind of power? Sad I was away when she needed me the most?)


[Leah:] just face your problems head on instead of ignoring them!!
( Don't give me attitude.. )


Didn't get much work done today... people harrassing me and giving no moments peace and such.


~*~

Question of the Day
Are men obsolete?
( This lovely QOTD brought to you from Amanda through Lauren. Props to both! Well.. Lauren you have enough parentheticals.. so I give your props to Amanda too. ^__^ )

1 glance | Never look back.


kangabunny

:: 2004 24 April :: 9.23pm
:: Mood: My head hurts
:: Music: Led Zeppelin

My head hurts x.x
My head hurts.
Ay, now you know! Heh. Gahh.. I need for my head to stop hurting x.x...
Watching Almost Famous. o.0
survey
Abortion?: Yes.
Death Penalty?: It's terrible, uncivilized, and just fucking wrong.
Prostitution?: Sure? If you want to.
Alcohol?: Be careful. Age restriction should be 18.
Marijuana?: Sure. Be careful.
Other drugs?: o.0 I wouldn't inject anything into myself, though. be careful.
Gay marriage?: Yup.
Illegal immigrants?: Yes.
Smoking?: Eh. If you want to.
Drunk driving?: It sucks.
Cloning?: For People? If the clone's gunna have a normal life like a uh.. non-clone o.o.
Racism?: Wrong.
Premarital sex?: Why not? =)
Religion?: Should be respected. But, no one should ever try to convince someone to believe something or tell them something is wrong because their religion says.. *sigh*
The war in Iraq?: Bullshit.
Bush?: Lying fuck up.
Downloading music?: I download. So shoot me.
The legal drinking age?: 18.
Porn?: ...don't care
Suicide?: I can't keep up with everyone's suicide attempts.... *sigh*

Never look back.


kangabunny

:: 2004 24 April :: 6.46pm
:: Mood: Apathetic

Porcelian Masks
Ay.
Last night was horrid, then wonderful, and eventually looped back to even worse. Mm. As well as this morning. =P I can't figure it out.. maybe I have a dependancy. o.0 or not.

Finished "Ecstasia." Awesome book.
Same thing as lj.. this poem by Francesca Lia Block is really great, though. =D

Wish
If I were a needle
I'd put love into your veins
If I were a needle
I'd take away the pain
If I were a wish
I'd grant myself to you
If I were a dream
I'd make myself come true

If I had a wish
I'd make the dying end
If I had a wish
It would be childhood here again
If I had a wish
Love would be safe and pure

I have a wish
It's for a cure.


=)). It's been raining on and off since last night... awesome.
--
It's awful how I meant those words...

Never look back.


kangabunny

:: 2004 23 April :: 11.17pm
:: Mood: carefree
:: Music: Them Bones-Alice in Chains

Breezy breeze
Lotsa new piccys! Check em out. =)))
Kristen is so gorgy *-* ::dizzy::
I just love this, Kris.

Felt shitty, then went to Arbor with Brandi and Kae. Had fun. =).
Brandi bought a hamster, I changed my mind and bought ice cream at amy's, [amy's is fucking awesome] went to the bookstore, hung in the park. We were a sight to see, people.. LOL.

Ay, did you know that the fake food in pottery barn is REAL?! Omfg.. I tried some and it was really good. I wish I'd gotten more. *-*

No waiting...
I'll be safe soon. *-*

*sigh*
Reading: Ecstasia. Awesome. Francesca Lia Block is definitely amazing.

1 glance | Never look back.


kangabunny

:: 2004 23 April :: 8.24am
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: Dirt-Alice in Chains

rise the stars
Bookstore today.
Brandi n I may be getting pets today ^.^ Cuz we're so weird. And we're writing a duck story. XD someday.
I feel safe.
You know, crazy people can be pretty smart, just evil. Lol. @.@
I haven't been on aim for a while.
I've been overly tired for about a week. Can't do anything but lie around, literally... and I actually sleep. my tummy hurts x.x

well anyway =) <333

Never look back.


kangabunny

:: 2004 22 April :: 7.35pm
:: Mood: Tired
:: Music: Sea of Sorrow-Alice in Chains

::hums solo::
Bloody hell!
Dinner with my parents tonight.
Bloody hell!
X.X ..XD
*sigh* Another day made me even angrier, but I'm actually in an ok mood right now. New pictures from today soon. Brandi and I went to the lake, and we saw this HUGE snake... @.@ lol. Then we went back because I had an urge to see it again. XD I'm so fucking stupid.

I ate so fucking much today ;_; *sigh*
doom.

2 glances | Never look back.


Beagle147

:: 2004 22 April :: 3.02pm
:: Mood: nostalgic
:: Music: Various Children's show theme songs...namely Salute Your Shorts

Stole this from amanda's journal. I'll do an actual update later. I added my own little notes to them in parentheses, and when I say comments, I mostly mean the theme songs.

Childhood Memories
Place a star next to the ones you remember:

* Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (In West Philadelphia born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days...)
* Fraggle Rock
* G.I. Joe
* Are You Afraid of the Dark? (What were all those kids doing out in the middle of the forest so late at night?)
* Secret World of Alex Mack
* Nightmare Before Christmas
* Welcome Freshman (This was such a great show, but it wasn't on very long)
* Space Cases
* Roundhouse
* The Muppet Show (It's time to start the music..)
* Muppet Babies
* Eureka's Castle (Eureeka, and Batly, and Magellan, and Kooey, and...those twins that were obsessed with peanut butter...someone and Bog, whatever, they were pink and orange, and those little clay worms in the rocks, and those three singing fish in the fountain, and everyone else that I just forgot)
* Salute Your Shorts (We run we jump we swim and play, we row and go on trips, but the things that last forever are are dear friendships...)
* Legends of the Hidden Temple (Olmec, the talking rock/mountain-ish thing)
* You Can't Do That On Television
* G.U.T.S. (Agro crag, super agro crag,..I forget the third one, mega crag?)
* What Would You Do? (Piepod. No more need be said)
* Double Dare (Ahh, the days when Mark Summers ruled Nickelodeon)
* Rocko's Modern Life (he's a WALLABY, people!)
* All That (Nothing can beat that original cast...Lori Beth Denberg, Kenan Thompson, Kel Mitchel...I could go on for days)
* Ren and Stimpy
* Clarissa Explains It All (Am I the only one who remembers that she had a pet alligator named Elvis? And why did Sam never use the door? He always just popped up his ladder in her window and they played that guitar thing)
The Torklesons
* Pete and Pete (I wonder how their mom got through airports...she had a metal plate in her head. And don't for get Artie, the strongest man....in the world!)
* Stick Stickley (Write to me, Stick Stickley, PO Box 963, New York City, New York State, 10108)
* Goodburger (Haha, gotta love all that spinoffs...it's like Wayne's World but for kid SNL)
* Angry Beavers
* Hey Arnold!
* AAH! Real Monsters (Ickis, Krum, and Oblina)
* Tiny Toons (We're tiny, we're toony, we're all a little loony, and in this cartoony we're invading your TV! Buster Bunny and Babs Bunny...no relation)
* Animaniacs
* Pinky and the Brain
* The Babysitter's Club
* Kablam! (Henry and June...didn't they have green hair?)
* Gullah Gullah Island (Let's all go to Gullah Gullah Island. Best show ever to watch when you're home sick from third grade)
* Richard Scary (The Busy World of Richard Scary. With that worm dude)
* Dumbo's Circus
Ocean Girl
* Mystery Files of Shelby Woo
* Snick Snacks
* Dunkaroos
* SNICK (Three words: Big Orange Couch.)
* Koala Yummies
* Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego? (Rockapella, the chief, gumshoes)
* Nick Magazine (Neckelodeon Magazine, Please!)
* The Goonies (Sean Astin before he became a hobbit)
* Ernest Movies
* Radio Flyer (are they talking about the movie or the actual wagon? Because I love that movie, it is awesome, hopefully that's what this is referring to...Elijah Wood at age 5, or so)
Disney Watchers
Adventures in Wonderland
* Homeward Bound (I must have watched this movie a million times. I can still recite it.)
* The Adventures of Yellow Dog
* Milo and Otis (This was my favorite movie when I was like 4. I watched it incessantly. That mischevious cat always making Otis run after him. Here comes the dog, strong and brave! ...that was the song Otis sang in the movie, I'm not just making it up)
* Neverending Story
* Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (I was SO afraid of Chris Lloyd when I saw this)
* The Lion King (Oh, please, what more need be said? Best Disney movie ever. EVER.)
* Labyrinth (Extremely frustrating when you are 5)
* 101 Dalmations (I was totally obsessed with this movie when I was little too. I still have a collection of 101 Dalmatian stuff. Oh, and whoever wrote it, dalmation is not a word. It's Dalmatian.)
* The Secret Garden
* Pete's Dragon
* Hocus Pocus
Secret of Roan Inish
* Land Before Time (It was good after Land Before Time, that one I loved...what are they on now? Land Before Time 36?)
* Dinosaurs (Was this that show about the dinosaur family? I'm the baby, gotta love me! Not the momma!)
* Fern Gully
Secret of NIMH
* Gummi Bears
* Care Bears (Good Luck Bear kicks ass)
A Little Princess
* My Little Pony
* Black Beauty (This movie made me obsessed with horses. It was so good, I have it on video)
* Rainbow Brite
Lady Lovely Locks
* Candyland (Every child's first board game)
* Sorry!
* Trouble
* Don't Wake Daddy!
* Mousetrap
* Jenga
* Don't Break the Ice
* Hungry Hungry Hippos (Loudest children's game every created)
* Cooties (I never actually played Cooties, I just liked building the little bugs)
* Tinker Toys
* Sky Dancers
* Polly Pocket
* Hypercolor T-Shirts (Yeah, those worked for like, a day)
* Lite Brite (I am proud to say that I still have my lite brite, it is still in my closet, and if I had free time, I would still play with it. Greatest invention ever.)
* Scrunchies
* Side Ponytails (Haha, the DJ Tanner look)
* Stirrup Pants
* Jellies (These were the worst things ever created. Seriously.)
Saddle Shoes
* Barbies
* Beanie Babies (I still have my beanie baby collection in my bookcase in my room. My first one was Seaweed, the otter)
* Tamagotchies (Or as mrs. Cosby calls them, Kamikazes)
* Yo-Yos (Fireballs, greatest yo-yos in the world. Mine is green. I still like to play with it)
Choose Your Own Adventure
* Pogs (Still have my pogs too. And all my slammers)
* Goosebumps (These were the shit in second grade.)
Magic Attic Club
* American Girl
* The Island of the Blue Dolphins
* Saved By The Bell (ahh, who could forget our friends Zack, Slader, Screech, Lisa, Mr. Belding, Tiffany Amber Thieson, and that other girl who later played in Striptease)
* Full House (Whatever happened to predictability, the milkman, the paper boy, evening tv...back before the olsen twins were every guy's fantasy)
* Step By Step (Suzanne Somer's attempt to reestablish her career after her "Three's Company Faux Pas")
* TGIF on ABC
* Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
* Boy Meets World (I have seen every episode of this show ever. Many multiple times. I can probably recite the series. This was the second greatest show of the 90's...second, of course, to the simpsons.)
* Clueless (Defined a generation)
* Mork and Mindy (I used to love watching this show with my dad. A very early Robin Williams show)
* Simpsons (C'mon...what's to remember about the simpsons? I still watch this show every day)
* Flipper (They call him flipper, flipper, faster than lightning. No one you see is smarter than he.)
Eerie Indiana
* Third Rock From The Sun
* Tracey Ullman Show
* Ghostwriter
* Growing Pains
* Family Ties (Michael J Fox as Alex P Keaton. If that show was around today, which it is, but on TV Land so no one really watches it, it would be the greatest IB show ever.)
* Titanic (Oh geez...Leo in his teen idol prime)
* Felix The Cat
* Jonathan Taylor Thomas (I was the envy of every girl on my bus one day in like third grade because I have the same birthday as JTT. Don't ask why I remember that)
* Home Improvement (Tim Allen post-prison)
* Tom and Huck (I think this was right when JTT became the hottest guy ever for like 2 months...in third grade)
* My Brother and Me (Alphie and Didi, and Gu)
* Kenan and Kel (something about orange soda...)
* Hanson (Mmmbop alsfjkaosicosdoowop)
* Inspector Gadget (do do do do do inspector gadget do do do do do do do)
* Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Let's see...Donatello was the purple one with the staff, Leonardo was the blue one with the sword, Michelangelo was the orange one with the nunchuks, and Raphael was the red one with those fork-y things, I have heard they are called sai blades, but I can't confirm that...oh yeah, that's skillin)
* Power Rangers (I was never really into power rangers that much, but my friend Thomas was, so we would still watch it every day during Nick in the Afternoon)
* Hot Wheels
* Creepy Crawlers
* Easy Bake Oven
* Flower Making Kits
* Weinerville (Mark Weiner. Do you know how much that guy must have gotten made fun of in seventh grade? What a great way to profit off an unfortunate name. Wait, was that really his name?)
* Wild and Crazy Kids (Omar Gooding, Jessica something, and what was that white boy's name? Nick?)
* Playdough McDonald's Sets
* Animorphs
* Rainbow Fish
* If You Give A Mouse A Cookie
Bailey School Kids
Wayside School
Mrs. Piggle Wiggle
* Boxcar Kids
* Ramona Quimby
* Amber Brown (Amber Brown is Not a Crayon)
* Roald Dahl (Rock)
* Allegra's Window (It took me like seven years to realize that all of them are named after musical terms)
* 3-2-1 Contact (3-2-1 Clasrooooom Contact!)
* Slip-n-slides (Ohhh yeah. I remember slip-n-slides. I snapped my arm on one at TNT in sixth grade.)
* Teddy grahms
* Candy Necklaces (I never actually wanted to eat the candy necklace though, because then you are left with just a string..)
* Popeye the sailor man (toot toot!)
* Barney (I love you, you love me...shut up!)
* Bananas in Pajamas (I never really got this concept...)
* James and the giant peach
* Good Night Moon (I LOVE GOODNIGHT MOON! The only thing that beats Goodnight Moon in my book is the Giving Tree)
* Dr. Seuss (Theodore Seuss Geisel)
* Dragontales
* Arthur (And I said Hey! What a wonderful kind of day! Where we can learn to work and play! And get along with each other!)
* Big Wheels

And I am now protesting to the absence of David the Gnome, Hey Dude, The Magic Schoolbus, Viewfinders, the Rugrats, Bernstein Bears, Where's Waldo, Robin Hood Men in Tights, Kerplunk, Mr. Potato Head, Shel Silverstein, and anything else that I come up with later.

Never look back.


SeraphimRhapsody

:: 2004 21 April :: 10.47pm
:: Mood: indescribable
:: Music: Dashboard Confessionals ~ Amanda's CD

heaven's messages yearn to touch the earth
AOL Research & Learn Skywatcher Alert
See the Lyrid Meteors Tonight
You'll see the most meteors around midnight in the northeast above the constellation Cygnus.

These are them aren't they? The ones we'd planned for.....

Mer mentioned them today as she went on about Evan. Dagger through the drained heart.


I came home yesterday planning to press my flowers so I'd have a tangible piece of the relationship.. but the violets were shriveling up. Literally shriveling. The pink rose.. it was already dead at the core.. giving off that deep deathly smell. The red rose had bloomed to the max, like one massive effort to release everything as soon as possible.
They were all to last two weeks.
Such depressing vibes.


Thank God for my nice stalker friend. His name is Denver if I've never mentioned it before. And I officially relinquish the title 'stalker'. He's been there for me in a different way then each of you are there for me.... wow..


Nothing more to really say except that as much as I enjoy The Bell Jar... now is not a good time to read her many adventures and thoughts into suicide. I think I might explain that to Schilit tomorrow..


Night!

~*~

Never look back.

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