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2007 24 October :: 7.25pm
Fuck it.
Im so unproductive in life.
And I'm fucking miserable.
I do fuck all and I fucking hate everyone.
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2007 16 September :: 9.58am
Now I'm Nothing.
Still having a fairly hard time.
Schools back in, I'm doing okay for now.
I'm having a really hard time with friends and stuff.
And Tianna is pregnant. But shes getting an abortion.
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2007 31 August :: 12.50pm
Another 6 months i'll be unknown.
This love is killing me.
Things are supposed to get better, not worse.
Each day without him hurts more and more and it's been 5 months.
Wtf is wrong with me.
Is getting to the point where not an hour goes by that I don't wish I was dead.
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2007 25 August :: 7.08pm
16 just held such better days.
I miss you.
It isn't supposed to be this hard.
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2007 24 August :: 8.19pm
Ready to fall.
I don't even know where to start.
I'm super super depressed and lonely.
It feels like I'm losing my best friend.
There is so much I want to say I just can't form the sentences.
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2007 13 August :: 4.24pm
This isn't goodnight this is goodbye.
& I let him go without saying I love you.
It was really really difficult.
Even though were not together.
Even though we havent been for 5 months now.
Even though I've seen him with countless girls and know nothing would have ever happend between us again.
It was still hard.
Harder than anything up to this point.
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2007 12 August :: 8.50pm
& I remember the day when you left...
I'm going to say goodbye to Kyle tommorow. This is going to hurt.
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2007 7 August :: 11.59pm
Life;
Woah buddy it's been like so long since I updated.
So Vemf (Victoria Electornic Music Festival) was this weekend.
It was wicked.
It was from 12-10. Saturday and sunday.
I worked both days so I didn't get there until 7:30 both days.
It was wicked, hung out with awesome people that I love.
Pulled like every muscle in my body dancing.
Kissed Gaetan! And this other really cute boy. And tanner :D
Can't wait for it next year :)
So I've been working hella lots. I hate it but pay day is friday so that will be nice :D
I'm going to shadowlands on the 17th, another rave :) Pretty pshyced.
Kyle moves to Alberta in 15 days. He was a huge part of my life so I will miss him a lot. And it's still really hard for me.
Other than that lots of other little things have happend that I don't want to elaborate on.
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2007 18 July :: 4.24pm
Roxy DeVal.
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2007 14 July :: 9.26pm
Oh it's what you do to me...
So Ryan came down from Calgary for ska fest. And I finally met him, which was pretty dope. The first day me him and Gaetan hung out and walked around and then we took him to ska fest, cause we didn't go. And then me and Gaetan went and met up with his friend Justin and went to the beach and it was so beautiful sitting on the beach. But it was also really lonely.
Then on friday I hung out with Tianna and ryan and it was dope. And then he went to ska fest again and we saw jesse :) And then I went home and went to the beach with Gaetan again and we just talked for a really long time and then he took me to the bus stop and I went home. Today I worked and that was okay. But they made me stay later then I was spose to and they asked me to work tommorow so I agreed. And I get to meet Tianna's new man tommorow. He sounds so sweet, I really wanna meet a guy like him. They met while she was working and she asked if he wanted his debit recite and he was like "only if it has your number on it". Like thats sooooo corny but sooooooo cute!
Anyways I start aerobics on monday, lame I know but it will be good :)
And Joel decided he didn't wanna be with me and went back to Avalon, seriously, no big suprise there.
I've been really lonely lately but I really don't want to just settle for anything. I want that one guy who I mean everything to. So I will just sit around and wait for my prince charming. Even though I don't really think he exists. That or his timing is terrible.
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2007 9 July :: 3.30pm
Ever miss someone so fucking much it makes you sick to your stomach?
And ever wonder if you feel that way because you love them and know you will never be with them again? Or is it because you know that deep down inside you hate them?
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2007 28 June :: 7.54pm
There are better things in life then this.
Joel visited for the weekend. I don't want to talk about it. I miss him.
I went to Vancouver on Sunday and got back yesterday. I love ferry rides, except not by myself.
I love Vancouver.
I went to so many nice places. I had a wonderful time.
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2007 13 June :: 7.26pm
To love & be loved;
I want to feel love.
I want to feel needed and desired.
I want to mean something to somone, more than just something, I want to mean everything to someone.
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2007 7 June :: 4.10pm
If I was your vampire
I bought the new manson cd. It kinda sucks. It's way more mellow and not as "out there" as his stuff usually is, which was kind of disappointing but I do like it.
I am also in the process of re-doing my room.
I'm finished painting it mostly. And I've put up a lot of pictures and stuff. I put caution tape on my celing and I put my manson flag up.
I still want a few more flags and pictures and then it should be done. I like it a lot.
Only 6 more days of school left. I will most likely pass everything :)
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2007 3 June :: 5.54pm
Where did I go wrong?
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