X-Cosmic-Sunday-X
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2004 14 February :: 2.17am
:: Mood: Terrible
Happy Valentines day! Though i am not happy, I feel so worthless. My sister is always mad and its like shes always on a trip with the way shes acting not to mention her still constantly slashing her wrists yet no one cares but me and i cant fucking deal with it because she hates me. And my mom cant handle me and my sister any more so she sends us to are dads every second weekend but of course he doesnt want us and he really doesnt give a shit about us so he does nothing with us and he cares more about his wife than us and i hate that bitch. Also my moms so called "friend" Robert who I also hate is always here and its so fucking ovbious they are more than just friends and i hate it because they are always all over each other and its so gross, plus he is so much younger than her! Plus I havent been taking my pills and ive been so depressed latly.
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X-Cosmic-Sunday-X
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2004 12 February :: 7.17pm
:: Mood: sad
Today was a great day, My english presentation went really well and it made me really happy. I had my short poofy strapless blue dress on and i had blue make up on my eyes with sparkles. It was great and them my depression project went really really well to, I think im going to get a really good mark:) But for some reason right now i feel really sad, hopefully that will pass
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X-Cosmic-Sunday-X
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2004 9 February :: 1.38am
:: Mood: lethargic
Ha! I am feeling lethargic! I love that word!! Well today was ok i guess, it was really slow and i didnt do much except eat and get fat. I went to my grandparents house for dinner, it was gross we had perlue or something and it was yucky! So i didnt eat much of it. I played the piano at my grandmas and im starting to try and read music which is trippy and ya. Then we went to my brothers to visit him because it was his birthday last week. My nefew has gotten really big! Hes really cute but he like hates me because he always cries when hes around me and It makes me feel so unloved. Meh oh well what can ya do, I seem rather happy for someone who has been totally pmsing all day. I got my rag on thursday which really sucks because i hate it but meh. I was really mad a little while ago and now im really giddy well i better go sleep because i have school tommorow, ya me sleep hahahah funny! im not gonna sleep because i will have nightmears. goodbyez though!
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X-Cosmic-Sunday-X
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2004 21 January :: 10.31pm
:: Mood: crushed
:: Music: Tea party
I feel so horribly sad its indiscribable and i dont evne know why i feel like this. I feel sick and heartbroken for no reason except for mayb the fact that im a loner and my so called "friends" never hang out with me and never wanna do anything and they act like i dont exist and its like i just walked off the end of the planet never to come back but of course no one cares!
Anyways, we had are skate-a-thon today it was pretty fun i love skating!
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X-Cosmic-Sunday-X
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2004 20 January :: 12.34am
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: Marilyn Manson
hmmm well today was very uneventful I went to school, had a math test which i got 9 out of 10 on yay me then i had science and i just kinda sat there then I had socials which was really boring and i just sat there then i had strings and i suck so much at playing the violin now Im thinking i will most likly drop out just like i drop out of everything o well, then i had french i didnt do much and then english. All of my friends ignored me the whole day so i was just by myself but good thing i had my book with me. After school Tianna came over around 5 i think and we hung out and smoked a bit then we just hung out and she went home around 8. Well ya I feel so cooped up here and im sick of it! Oh well thats life cya
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X-Cosmic-Sunday-X
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2004 13 January :: 11.57am
:: Mood: scared
:: Music: afi
Im so scared right now! I only have an hour left before my test!! eeek! there gonna stick a tube up my nose in to my stomach to measure the acid levels in my stomach im so scared! i will write more later byez
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X-Cosmic-Sunday-X
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2004 11 January :: 10.34pm
:: Mood: crushed
:: Music: Tonic
I feel so heartbroken! Its like someone tore out my heart and smashed it a million times with a hammer then jumped on it then ran it over with a car then tore it in to 500 million pieces and then threw it away. That is how i feel. I hate myself so much! It hurts! everything hurts so much. *cries*
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X-Cosmic-Sunday-X
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2004 8 January :: 9.27pm
:: Mood: dorky
:: Music: Crowned King
Hi, I havent written in along time because im pissed of at my journal because i typed out this super long thingymjigy and it didnt load so it made me mad ehehe well yes im over my madness so i will type out the long thingymajigy that i wrote on the road trip home sometime soon okies byez
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X-Cosmic-Sunday-X
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2003 20 December :: 1.09am
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: billy talent
Well! Hi, We are finally in Manitobia, two days of fucking driving! its horrible, my dad and angela smoked the whole way here, like all two days, i didnt kno anyone could smoke that much, i have my fucking rag and i have a cold, it sucks, my dad doesnt think i should be on my anti depressants which is pissing me off cause he doesnt kno how it is to be depressed. Well theres a 2 hour difference here so i guess i will have to get used to it, Its 12:01. My cousin Tiani is here and my aunt Joanne, when we got here i saw my aunt Brenda and my cousin Kevin. I have no idea what im doing tommorow, mayb shopping im not sure though. I should go to bed now.
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X-Cosmic-Sunday-X
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2003 17 December :: 12.23pm
:: Mood: sad
Im pretty sad right now, I leave today, Kelly sent me an email and its really sweet, it made me cry. this is what it said.
hi holly, i have been talking a big exam i think i told all of u, well anyways i took it for one week (everyday)n studied 2 or more weeks so i couldnt go to computer sorry bout that.. guess what? i saw the lord of the ring3!! i think it was retrun of the king, im not sure anyways u should see it!! i had so much fun!! im having good days becuz the exam is over and schools are like playin lots i want to call u n talk to u now but its too late its so bad that we have different time.. i dont want to wake ur family in winter break i think i will be on msn when ur on (like the time) i really love u and miss u especially when i saw the lord of the ring3..remember? we saw like almost5times right?? i had the best time then becuz next to me there was u and jade n erin n tianna n cara.. i really want to see you. its so bad that the world isnt one.. u guys are always in my memories and u guys are angels, becuz when im scard or sad it feels like u are next to me and sayin funny stories.. i saw u in my dreams many times n made me miss u.. well i love u and miss you i dont know why any other friends are not sending me any mails except like chain mails its not bad ones but doesnt have any story.. gotta go see ya
Its so sweet!! Now i miss her even more, I guess i should go now i might write later but if not i will try to as soon as i can.
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