the above song reminds me of danny...
why is he so stupid & stuborn?...*UGH* I HATE HIM...

he thinks i'm a bitch cuz i bring up the past when he just used it against me...whatever...

i fucking hate you now a bit more than ever...& i'm not sure i want to know you anymore...

"it never was & never will be, you don't know how you betrayed me & somehow now you're everybody's fool..."

talk later...

g'mornin'?...yeah, wateva
so my night last night was kinda *eh*...really *eh* actually...though it sux to think this, sometimes it's not wise to work in a group project w/ friends...cuz sometimes nothing gets done...

i did my paper lastnight...*yay*...i think...i did a bad on it though...

joey's math proficiency is today & i'm really worried for him...so i'm gonna make him a bag today...i'm a cute girlfriend...

well i must go so i can get everything done early & get denisse's cd made...talk later...

so i'm in the mac lab, this time not w/ mac's class...
well i'm in here cuz i had to look over an ap test for spanish class...really intimidating...but i'm still gonna take it...it's just a small waste of $13...*damn*...anywho...

i've got to work big time on my paper for anatomy tonight...i'm even not going to practice (which i'm sorry to say but *yay*...)...i'm gonna have denisse & mark come over after i write some of the paper cuz we're all on the same group anyways...maybe we'll have dinner...i dunno...

well i'm gonna have to go cuz school is getting out in like 5 mins...i'll be back to write in you at home...talk later...

can you feel me in your arms?...
well the punisher was a kickass movie, i went to see it with my dad lastnight...

i went to visit joey a few times yesterday...i think he felt really bad that i went over yet didn't get to really hang out w/ him cuz him & his friends were trying to film a movie...he was really sincere bout it when i told him i was a little upset...i shouldn't have been though...i'm sorry joey...

the second visit made up for it though...

well i've gotta get ready for school...talk later...

kill me friday
i just got off the phone w/ danny right now...he's having a blast @ berkely...i'm happy for him...

as for me i've been home alone & bored...worrying bout my track meet tomorrow...i've had nothing to do here & it's funny that joey hasn't called...*oi*...

i'm a bit hurt right now so i'll be back...talk later..

well i found out that the plans that i had for today are just gonna go down the drain...so whatever...

i haven't really written in a few days cuz i've just been so out of it lately...i've been extremely tired & that's not cool for spring break...damn i still haven't gotten to some homework i was planning on doing...*ugh*...

tomorrow is our 11 month anniversary...kinda wierd that we've been together this long...kinda scarey...what sux is i'll be at a track meet tomorrow so i'll be back later to spend time w/ joey...i wanted to see the punisher tonight, but i guess we can do it tomorrow...

i'm gonna be late for practice so i better get going...talk later...

so i woke up this morning kinda early, & on vacaction that sux...
i feel like doing nothing today...i have a big day ahead of me again...just like yesterday practically...first i've got track, then finish painting the church...then later tonight i'm gonna hang w/ the girls, hopefully...i forgot today was wednesday so i'm wondering if lina has church tonight...it was mainly lina's idea & i figured i'd need kinda a girls night out...or something like that...

davey sounds hot...lol...talk later...

hey ya'll...damn that stupid episode of MADE!...
i'm home cleaning up my room, or at least i'm supposed to...some inspection dude is coming tomorrow in the morning to check all the apts so that's why i have to clean...i figure this is a good way for me to figure out what i should keep & get rid of before i leave to college...*oi*...creepy ain't it?...

i thought i wasn't that scared anymore of leaving, but my fears caught up to me this week i guess...*ugh*...i dunno what to do now...i'm happy that i'll be away from my dad & grandma (i know that sounds bad, but try being me for a week & you'll figure out why)...i think i'm more afraid of losing friends now...i'm a little more over the fact that i won't have anyone to tell me what to do cuz i honestly think i'll need that there, but i should be good...i'm also afraid of liking it there so much that i won't want to come back home...& that's truly what i want to do after college, come back to my good-ol'-town :D ...

i've been so distracted from cleaning my room today...& i was gonna give myself til bout 3 to do so, then i could try seeing joey today...& look at the time...*sigh*...my day sucks...

i'm surprised that i really really like cradle of filth right now...it's different than what i usually listen to, but if you know me very well, you'd understand that variety for me is GREAT!...

i think i'm one of the few who actually enjoy listening to anything from Britney Spears & N*SYNC, Evanescence & Lacuna Coil, Linkin Park & Metallica, Reba McEntire & Garth Brooks, Beonce & Usher, Yeah Yeah Yeahs & No Doubt, The Casualties & The Ramones, Juanes & Ricky Martin, jeez the list could go on for any type of genre of music...just bring it & i'll like it, i swear...

well i must get back to my room...*oi*...talk later...

SHE'S HERE AGAIN!???!??!??!
she's here again...

damnit she's here again...

i cringe at the fucking fact that she's here again...

my dad & i got into a minor fight before i left yesterday...how i never spend enough time w/ him & we never do anything...when all he does is call over my mom to go & hang out w/ him...& if she can't go over, he calls HER again...

that's why she's here again...

FUCK YOU DAD, I'M TIRED OF YOU BEING LIKE THIS...

talk later...*ugh*...

HAPPY EASTER!!!

"all because i'm the lead singer of my band"...
well today was an ok day i guess...stayed to myself in my house the morning...took denisse & met danny in ec cuz i had to get my blinker fixed (which works now!!!)...so we hung out in ec for a few hours...denisse bought some cd's @ target & i got hair dye...which i had a lot of hope in...but i did it really wrong & to me it looks blotchy & i think i'm gonna have my step-mom color it again in the next week to fix my mistakes...i hope i hope i hope...

it ended up being me & joey tonight @ the drive-ins, which was coo...we saw hellboy & walking tall...i recomend the first one surprisingly...we didn't think we'd like it...walking tall could've been better, but still a movie i would recomend...to rent maybe...lol...they were coo though...

well i'm getting tired so i'ma have to go...tomorrow i'm planning on going to mex, though i have no clue why i'm going...w/ joey of course...(oh boy, me, going w/ a white boy...*oi*...lol)...so yeah...talk later...

36 days...& counting...til prom at least...

Your Amy Lee's "Alice In Wonderland"
dress!

KICK ASS!!...i'm trying to recreate i guess you could say the grammy dress that amy lee wore that night for my senior prom this year...unfortunetly so, i have bout a month to figure it out...*ugh*...so yeah i'm kinda stressing bout it but i think it can be done...at least if i make a cape (my own idea, not from amy lee) i should be happy...i know lina wants to help & is kinda excited bout it & i want denisse to help out too...if i can figure out what needs to be done & get my things figured out it should work...i think...lol...talk later...

another night...
so angelica wasn't here tonight, at least that i know of...i went to hang out @ joey's house...(i know, tell me something new)...anywho, i'm gonna try to not bum myself out cuz i know that even though joey said he'd go tomorrow to the track meet, it'll end up like the imperial track meet...*ugh*...whatever, i should be happy anyways as someone in particular would say...

well i'm gonna get offline now cuz i'm in pain from tracky tracky & i need sleep...talk later...

in mac's class again & again...
well nothing much has happened...i guess i've been in a better mood than most days...tomorrow is a track meet so that's kinda coo...i've just been kinda frustrated w/ the fact that angelica had been over...i'm not so sure what to expect for today...

i'm gonna be filming w/ tristan today during 6th...*yay* i get outta massey's...if at least for a few mins...but rather the whole period i hope...anywho...so i have that then i'll probably have enough time to go to track since it's a short day...

talk later...

it's not fair...my dad needs to grow up!
angelica is still here & you know what?...i'm not liking it anymore...she shouldn't come back like nothing happened at all...i don't like her anyways...& i wish my dad would grow up...

talk later...

in short...
angelica is back & i dunno for how long, but i'm hoping it's not a long stay...

i'm at the true point now where i believe that danny & i need to decrease the time we talk...i realize that if it didn't work then, what makes me think it'd ever work on any level?...but then again, i dunno...we just need to be away...

i really want to leave anywhere now...but not to college, i kinda want to be out on my own now...*oi*...i guess just to run away from my problems like i always do...

i have other thoughts but i'm too tired & hungry to say...talk later...

*yay* i had a better night w/ joey!
well tonight was one of my better nights...*yay*...i think i'll be in better moods...i hope...

we (denisse, kile, lina, joey, & i) hung out on kamm to hang out in the back of my trucky trucky...we did the hokey-pokey in the middle of the road...joey peed 3 times in less than an hour...denisse & lina peed next to joey's car...kile peed right when we got there...me, i'm a little shy w/ my piss...lol...

it was fun...so i will probably go to sleep a bit happier now...talk later...

a beautiful sunday morning
i had somewhat of a good morning today...lastnight, well, i need to lighten up & realize that spending time w/ someone is always the better end product than what was planned...i'm sorry i was kinda frustrated joey...

this morning i woke up & took my shower as usual...i actually put on my contacts & went to church...ON TIME...well i left to get there on time...i had to go to my step-mom's house to give her something from the insurance that i had in my truck...we spent like 30 mins talking bout my dad & what's going on w/ him...stuff i didn't know & sometimes i wish i didn't know...*ugh*...angelica was over, so that should explain something...anywho...my mom told me that she missed having me around & that made me feel better today...to know ppl care bout me when i feel like i've let them down...*sigh*...so i went to church & i had old memories of when i was little & singing the church songs...& when i sang a song w/ my peers & did signlanguage to the song...we were thinking of doing it for the bachalorate for the seniors...so yeah i almost cried cuz we never realize how much we liked being kids until we are close to adulthood...i miss my childhood...

i got to see rachel (my step-sister) today...she came over to see the apt & me...it was a change...i've wondered lately if she'd hated me & it almost made me cry to see her @ my door & for her to talk to me like i was back living w/ my step-family...it was a definet change...

well i'm gonna look for stuff for rosa's wedding...oh yeah it's pretty much official now...ROSA IS GETTING MARRIED!!!...talk later...

annoyance is deafening
the rain ruined my plans for lastnight...no drive-ins... :( ...

so yeah i guess yesterday was good...i'm getting annoyed with the way i am lately...*oi*...

danny & i got into another fight (once again)...a lot lately ppl have been going into the past with the way "danny & i were"...*ugh*...it was kinda ok to think about...but everytime we have a fight, it's unbarable to think about...i hate the way we are now...

If God came down on Christmas day, i'd know exactly what He'd say, He'd say, "Oi to the punks, & Oi to the skins, but Oi to the world & everybody wins

talk later...

in mac's class again...
i was telling joey earlier that i felt useless today...not like i'm not wanted, just not needed to do anything today...

i have 6 classes, & so far only attended 5...of those 5 classes i think i've only been productive in 1 class...& maybe not even then...i felt like it was worthless to even come to school today...oh well...

it's raining like a mother right now & i hope it stops cuz i wanted to go to the drive-ins with joey tonight in my truck...since i've got room now...*ugh*...oh well...we'll see what happens...i'm hoping i don't have practice either... ;) ...*yay* maybe the rain is good then, no?...ok...

i'm kinda getting bored again & i'm gonna have to start getting ready to leave the class...hopefully i'll talk later...

i'm actually gonna try to take the time to write something useful in here...
well i haven't been keeping up very much here anymore...i've been too tired to type...*what?!*...yeah i know, it's new to me too...

yesterday we had a track meet in imperial...it was a bad day for everyone, but then again, i'm conceited when it comes to pain...& it was BAD...i did really bad on my jumps & for the first time (i think it's ever really) on my long jump & triple i landed with my hands behind me...(if for some reason you don't understand what the big deal is with that comment & i'll explain)...then it got all windy & it's sometimes hard for runners to race in the wind...*oi*...joey came for my last race then left to go see me in town...i was really disapointed when he wasn't there for my 400 race...but he had things to do...i get disapointed pretty easily now...anywho...the good part of the night after bad races & jumps & annoying ppl & ppl taking my damn blanket when i was getting sick...

i took down elise...*& THE CROWD GOES OOOOHH, OOH OOH OOOOHH...*...it was kinda coo & i wish i threw in some punches...she played an april fool's day joke on me saying i was gonna have to run a relay race (which i despise & the coach knows it) & that i was taking her spot cuz she hurt herself...i was so mad & i almost threw down my cd player to get ready since it was up like right then...then she says...APRIL FOOL'S!...the problem here...

i wasn't laughing :)

so i ran after her & tackled her down to the ground, kinda like i did to lina if anyone remembers that one...i held myself from hitting her only because i want to stay on the team...lucky bitch...

anyways...nothing else happened...hung out w/ joey afterwards...talked on the phone w/ danny a bit...went to sleep...

it rained & i hope it doesn't tonight cuz i wanted to go to the drive-ins w/ my new truckytrucky... :D ...gtg get ready for school now...talk later...

*thinking*-i should've hit her...lol...

so another long day...
well nothing new happened...joey & i got into a slight fight...& i think we need to have a talk soon cuz it seems we've been getting very frustrated with things lately...i'm thinking bout seeing him tonight...i hope i can...i need to get this out of the way or i'll feel sick when i go to sleep tonight...

i have a track meet tomorrow...*eh*...in imperial vs. them & palo verde...well...i'm not gonna do very well...but whatever...

i'm still in the process of trying to clean my room so i can go out tonight & keep my truck :)...talk later...

why do i listen to things i don't understand?
well i ended up going to the station lastnight, so that was ok...a bit better than last week, but still kinda *eh*...i think i need to run the boards a few times cuz i missed it so from lastnight's show... :( ...

so yeah that's bout it...talk later...