in one single moment your whole life can turn around...
lil thingies camila sent me:

*In kindergarten your idea of a good friend was the person who let you have the red crayon when all that was left was the ugly black one.

In first grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the bathroom with you and held your hand as you walked through the scary halls.

In second grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you stand up to the class bully.

In third grade your idea of a good friend was the person who shared their lunch with you when you forgot yours on the bus.

In fourth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who was willing to switch square dancing partners in gym so you wouldn't have to be stuck do-si-do-ing with Nasty Nick or Smelly Susan.

In fifth grade your idea of a friend was the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for you.

In sixth grade your idea of a friend was the person who went up to Nick or Susan, your new crush, and asked them to dance with you, so that if they said no you wouldn't have to be embarrassed.

In seventh grade your idea of a friend was the person who let you copy the social studies homework from the night before that you had.

In eighth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pack up your stuffed animals and old baseball but didn't laugh at you when you finished and broke out into tears.

In ninth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who would go to a party thrown by a senior so you wouldn't wind up being the only freshman there.

In tenth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who changed their schedule so you would have someone to sit with at lunch.

In eleventh grade your idea of a good friend was the person who gave you rides in their new car, convinced your parents that you shouldn't be grounded, consoled you when you broke up with Nick or Susan, and found you a date to the prom.

In twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pick out a college/university, assured you that you would get into that college/university, helped you deal with your parents who were having a hard time adjusting to the idea of letting you go...

At graduation your idea of a good friend was the person who was crying on the inside but managed the biggest smile one could give as they congratulated you.

The summer after twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you clean up the bottles from that party, helped you sneak out of the house when you just couldn't deal with your parents, assured you that now that you and Nick or you and Susan were back together, you could make it through anything, helped you pack up for university and just silently hugged you as you looked through blurry eyes at 18 years of memories you were leaving behind, and finally on those last days of childhood, went out of their way to give you reassurance that you would make it in college as well as you had these past 18 years, and most importantly sent you off to college knowing you were loved.

omg. im going off to college in like a year and a half. its too soon.

* 10 ways you know ur in love *
1.Time is an eternity when u're without them
2.time goes by too fast when ur with them
3.the thought of them makes you shiver
4.the sound of them makes u smile
5.when seein them,u cant c anything else
6.u start 2 listen to sappy love songs
7.u actually like sappy love songs
8.the smell of them makes you relax
9.you find yourself smiling constantly when it has something 2 do w/them.
10.YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM!!!

-^^hmm seems like the story of my life right now...

4 _* | ...[Ryan

call now and well throw in this free gift...


THIS ENTRY IS DEDICATED TO ANDREW. haha <3


today was umm...gay? evnviro we had a sub and we did our lil group project thing. it was soo funny. god, were so racist. lolol. psych was boringgg. i feel asleep for like 45 minutes and i drooled on my sleeve. haha im sucha l0ser. =] lunch-god gustavo pisses/pissed me off so bad i was about to leave and go sit sumwhere else. i swear, if he says anything monday, im not sitting with any of them anymore. its absolutely ridiculous. we are being nice letting him sit with us cuz he got in a fight with lauren and he repays us by being a complete asshole. no im gunna kill him. literally if he doesnt watch what he says. buy anywayyyys...history watched a movie about an indian named kawaysdljguha...whatever. lol. chemistry was so gay. yeah after school hung out with like no one cuz everyone left right away. jaryd and max attacked me with paper numchucks. stupid fuckers. lol. after school went with daddy to get new cell phone!!! yay im so happy. then went to coral square mall to get my brothers halloween costume then went over to janis' house to finsih our spanish project and then went to the movies with nicole and camila. we went to see the grudge. jeremy and eric met us there. OMFG ive never seen a scarier movie in my entire life. i cried, i was shaking, i stopped breathing, i almost peed my pants, and screaming uncontrollably. it was horrible. even eric and jeremy were scared shitless. lol. i was greatttt. especially that lil chinese boy behind us. hahaha. after jus chilled and saw kelsey.<3 aww her and her new bf aree so cute. hehe. came home and yeah. OMG mommy quit smoking today =] . im so proud. <33.

-later days-

<33-janelle

if u want my new cell phone number, comment and mayb ill tell u =]

5 _* | ...[Ryan

gahhhhh!!! -_-


gosh, im such a fucking loser...

9 _* | ...[Ryan

i dont know what else to do...

i fucking LOVE him....


^^...but it seems so pointless. its like leaving my heart in the middle of a six-lane highway to let it get ran over again and again. and im gunna leave it there, until no pieces are left unbroken ....

5 _* | ...[Ryan

HAHAHAHAHHA..wut a fag


today started horrible and only got worse as the day went on. i wore an outfit to school today that i thought was cute and camila kept making fun of it and it made me really upset. especially at lunch when she had everyone come up to me and make funny of it and point and laugh. i was seriously on the verge of crying. gahh it really pissed me off. took a spanish test did well. got a 46% on my english test lolololol!!!! history took a open note test and failed. greeeat. algebra totally failed the test. i eventually gave up and stopped trying. whateverrrr. after school chilled with everyone. max kicked me and nowi have a bruise..stupid moron. then found out that derek's name isnt derek. its james !!! wtf? lolololol!!! grandma piked us up then went to gas station and got an icee cuz i felt like it. lol . now i haveta go do hw. blahhhhhhhhhhh. peace

-later ladies and gents-

<33-janelle

1 _* | ...[Ryan

ur not a friend to me, bitch dont pretend to be...


last night i finally gave up and stopped making excuses for why my so called friends act the way they do. people seem to put on an act and pretend to be so nice and trustworthy or whatever and then i get kicked to the curb. none of my guy friends are really my true friends. everyone is so god damn fickle. i hate how i can never talk to ANYONE about my day or how i feel about someone. no one takes the time to listen or care yet im expected to be all ears when ever they need to talk? doesnt seem fair. instead i have to talk to my mom. thats fine except for the things i cant talk to my mom about. i wish i jus had people who would listen and try to understand me. this past month has been hell on me and im an emotional wreck. no one knows it tho. so when i get pissed off cuz no one knows it, they think im being a bitch or whatever. im jus so sick of having all these "sorta friends" and acquintances. right now, the only people i can actually call my good friends who wont desert me, are camila, niki, and nicole. and i love them to death. i jus wish that everyone else who is supposedly my friend, would act like it...

-apparently thats too much to ask from you people.

-whateva-

10 _* | ...[Ryan

[insert slow gay music here]


yesterday was fun in its own weird way. woke up went on computer, gustavo called and he was on my driveway. so i took him to camilas house then i did my chores and got ready and me camila and gustavo caught the 2:15 BUS to the mall. it was the first time i ever took a public bus sumwhere. it was awesome. lol. yeah im a loser i know. =] stayed at the mall for several hours. saw scary 18 year old kevin ekkk!!! saw emily and lisa too. ha we see them everywhere!! lol. then camila got a dress and we went home. then we went to alinas birthday party and showed the 7th graders how to throw a kickass party. lol. it was pathetic tho, i had 12 and 13 year olds teaching me how to dance. hahaha. then jeremy and chris show up at like 10 and we all hung outside on camilas driveway for eternity times two. then scott came. and we all sat in paranoia of bernice the ghost. hahahaha. it was great and eye opening if u ask me. we stayed out till like 1:30 cuz her mom didnt care. lol. then gustavio, jeremy, and chris left and scott went to the window for a teeny bit then left. we went to sleep and i woke up at 10, came home, did hw and then went shopping with parents. bought jewelry for my dress and a lamp for my room. then came home, did massive amounts of vocab for POFL and yea. now im here. i tried studying for the algebra II test but its hopeless im sooo lost in that class it isnt funny. grr. now i have to go read a bazillion pages in POFL. joy..

-later people-

<3-janelle

1 _* | ...[Ryan

i dont want this to die..dont wanna ever forget this night...


last ngiht was pretty fun. hung out at shadowood mostly with sam and sean. scott eric guillermo and gustavo were there too. i drove and gustavo says i drive like a woman...well DUH. lol. we tried on halloween stuff in walgreens, ate happy meals in mcdonalds and got coffee at starbucks. we saw alotta people. OMG OMG OMG i saw JUSTIN!!!! (piercing justin from pe last year. awww hes sooo hot. lol. i havent seen him in like forever. also saw chris working at borders and hayley working at the ice cream place. and then i saw my most favorite lovers in the entire world....DILAN, JACK, and KYRIE!!!! omg i miss them soooo much. <33. ...came home around 10:30 and yeah. now im here and we mite go to the mall. who knows.

-peace losers-

<33-janelle

5 _* | ...[Ryan

i feel the same thing always happens when you're gone...


ugh! im so effing stupid! i dont know why i even believed for a second that there might be the slightest chance that there was still sumthin there between us. i was so fucking wrong. like totally. im so fucking retarded like seriously. i bring all this drama upon myself. ahhh IM SO GAY!!!! ....grrr.. thats why i wrote in my journal for psychology that i wished i had the power to read peoples mind and see what they are really thinking or meaning. it would save me from so much pain...

gosh am i an idiot. =[

-whatever losers-

3 _* | ...[Ryan

just around the corner is not enough...


today was ehhhhhh. culd barely get outta bed this morning. that shit like gives u a fucking hangover. hahaha. went to school, found out that POFL isnt due till october 25th. i was soo happy i coulda got up and started dancing. went to take the pSAT. it was ok i guess. i was having problems concentrating and i kept falling asleep in between sections. like actually dreaming and drooling hahaha. im sucha dork! anyways then lunch was ok. saw piercing boy ahh*has orgasm* LMAO!!! 5th hr was borrring. 6th hr i learned, or tried to. 7th hour...GAY AS HELL. i hate that class i hate that teacher i hate everything. fucking teacher moved ppl who talk to much to different seats and she seperated me and dana. i was seriously gunna cry. thats the only reason i dont mind chemistry. the fact that dana makes it fun. but no now im sitting next to valerie which is ok cuz shes cool to =] but its still not the same *tear* andddd then i got a fucking 77% on my test, i thought i did sooo goood. i like cried, seriously i did. to myself and barely tho. yes, im a fucking loser. but then after school had to talk to jd and stuff cuz damian didnt come to school today...uh oh!! yeah but then every1 left and max talked to us. well he actually hurt us and threw my EVERYTHING folder on the ground and alll my papers went everywhere. im so disorganized im gunna like have a spaz. ahh. lol. went home, and walked with nicole. went to seth and jds house. got a dollar from them , met gusto at the park went to gas station and OMG....i saw my lover....DILAN!!!!! we made like a big scene. it was hilarious. but i havent seen her since annas party. aww i miss her <3 and all my lovely olympic friends <33. now i gotta try to study for my scarlett letter essay test i have tomorrow in AP english that is if i dont fucking pass out before then, im sooo tired....blah!

-later sexy beasts-

<333-janelle

2 _* | ...[Ryan

wow....im a bad bad bad girl. shame.

today was, well interesting to say the least. ap env test went ok. psychology test was a piece of cake. lunch was ok. 5th hour got my id and i must say, it doesnt look too bad. lol. then chemistry test was ok too. but omggggggg!!! after school we were gunna go talk to damian but he was sooo fucking stoned it was hard not to laugh. but i didnt cuz i know many ppl who get really fucked up from taking those bars. he took two and then they, well camila, pressured me into taking one since he some left. i was scared but i did it anywyas. it tasted like absolute shit and i didnt really get that fucked up. just a lil spacey and touchy lol and a MAJOR headache. me and camila had to get outta the house so we met nicole and went up to wendys were we met upw ith jd and then jeremy chris and max came.russel was there too. they were sooo pissed when they found out what we did. especially jerermy. lol. then we all jus hung out for a while and talked about having sex and shit. like usual. lol. i still owe jeremy sex for that one day cuz of the bet. hahaha anyways. im happy cuz i talked to max a lil which means he doesnt completely like hate me or whatever =] so thats good. but he hurted me. grr. he like tried to kill me jus cuz i pushed him. lolol. my arms feel like they are broken haha and my head hurts like a bithc cuz he hit me in the head with his head like 3 times. owwwie. lol. but yeah. my mom told me to take advil but i cant cuz i still have that other shit in my system and i dont want to get anymore fucked up than before. ahh i gotta go call scott alarcon with his homework cuz hes an idiot. <3 lol bye

-later chicos-

<33-janelle

1 _* | ...[Ryan

when you said that you would leave, i was too damn stubborn to try to stop you or say anything


today was ok. i woke up early to go with my mommy to her work so i could concentrate on homework and get my hair done. oh and see lauri since i hadnt seen her in like forever. well i went online and looked at my journal and saw that andrew had left a comment on every single journal entry visible at one time. hmpf. at least sumone comments once in awhile lol but it was nice it made my morning good. lol. then lauri and her mom came in and she got her hair done and me and her took the car to marshalls to find her shoes for homecoming. then they left i stayed got my hair dyed and i read my book. came home, ate dinner and now i have to go read 150+ pages in my book before im allowed to do anything else, even sleep!! lol. im so fucking hard on myself. geez. =]

-later lovers-

<33-janelle

1 _* | ...[Ryan

i remember the day you left, i remember the last breath you took right in front of me...


Andrew made my day. =]

<33

1 _* | ...[Ryan

i cant take it, i cant shake it no more...

wow. tonight was 100% gayness. we actually went to see a movie, The Forgotten, but only me, nicole, camila, and zach went to see it. the fucking manager came in the theater a bazillion times. grr. omg the movie was fucking scary. me and nicole were like shaking, crying, and hyperventalating. lol. then we met up with chris, jeremy, and gusto and then ran into scott, eric and sum ppl. then went to walgreens .camila and zach decide to go find scott. zach gets to them ahead of us and we hear them say omg they keep following us and shit blah blah. omfg i have never been more pissed in my life. we fucking left them. then i accidently blew up at chris and jeremy and got all emotional and shit. i swear, i shuld be an actress. anyways, we went into borders but on the was we ran into vito, buddy, and sarah. so we kinda ran to borders to avoid getting our asses kicked! lol. and guess who we run into there....seth. ehhhh. we peed and then ran into juliano. and then omg...i saw DANIEL MIRANDA!!!!! i havent seen that kid since the last day of school last year. awww i miss him and his stories. <33. he told me about his dressing up as a woman the other day at school and actually being an attractive woman. LMAO. then we jus hung out with zach jeremy an chris. and me and nicole went into the lil ice cream store thing to say hi to hayley. then zach left and the rest of us hung out. i really love jeremy and chris. they rock. no seriously. out of all the skater ppl, they, even if sumtimes they dont show it, in the end they are the only ones who care and are actually like our real friends. and i love them for that. lol ok anywyas...so yeah we sat on the stairs cuz jeremy was crippled and we were all gunna have a massive orgy but the concrete was uncomfortable and wet so we postponed it. then me nicole and camila left. tomorrow im going with my mom to her work so i can read and get my hair dyed. ill get to see lauri too!!! <33

-later fuckers-

<33-janelle

2 _* | ...[Ryan

i cant go on not loving you....

today sucked. 1st hour was boring. 3rd was too. we watched a movie about a talking monkey. ooh yeah i said hi to sumone today. i was impressed. lol. anyways...at lunch fuckhead gustavo knocks my beloved dr. pepper on the ground and it like explodes everywhere and then jeremy throws a sandwich at my face!!! ahhh. lol. 5th was boring. so was 7th hour. after school got jamba juice and talked to damian and sum ppl. then daddy piked us up and i was gunna do my analytical article for english but i cant find an article to write about. grrrrness x 43473847. and i wanna do sumthing tonight.!!!

-later d0rks!-

<33-janelle

ps- the funniest thing i heard today was dana telling me that her cat's foot started on fire last night. LMAO!!

2 _* | ...[Ryan

hes the one who brought me tot he edge...


today was ok. english we took two fucking essay tests. i swear to freakin god that that teacher is inhuman. 4th hour was ehh. i came to the conclusion that i am going to fail class particiaption, what else is knew? lunch-gustavo and jeremy were with us for a while, then we went over to damian and it started pouring, my skirt was flying up and i was trying to cram last minute for my ap history test. the test wasnt too bad. it was jus sooo long. 80 questions in 50 minutes. jeez. 6th was ehh. math is so fucking hard this year. it stresses me out so0o0o much. grrrrness. this is the first year that u havent had an A in math. i fucking suck. blehhh... after school hung around with damian camila eddie and stephanie. then walked home... muwahahah. anywyas...then went walking around with niki and nicole and we ran into tony...ehhh ick. hes so unlike mike. hes fat, white, and gay!!! grr then we saw chris (heart problem boy from OH) so we hung out with him and ran into jeremy, chris, and gusto along with brandon jj and matt at wendys so we all chilled. well minus our bros. we jus ate their food and sum old man looked at me strange. LOL. then we walked home and niki stepped in dog shit! LMAO it was hilarious. then came home, ate dinner and did my chemistry lab report. im so happy tomorrow is friday. i wanna do sumthing fun tomorrow. wanna make plans? comment or call me..

-later days-

<33-janelle

ps- Happy Birthday Max. =]

2 _* | ...[Ryan

i was so afraid of going under....
bored so taking a survey!

First....

First best friend: hillary
First car: none but it will be 50% of the ghetto-mobile!! LMAO
First real kiss: scott?
First break-up: well i broke up with scott but first time i got dumped was dan
First screen name: orangechic40288 (yeah its gay)
First self purchased album: nsync
First pets: cats and a dog
First piercing/tattoo: my ears when i was two
First credit card: dont gots one
First true love: ha...like im gunna say
First enemy: i actually cant remeber
First music you remember hearing in your house: dunno
First cigarette: never had one, never will..

Last...

Last car ride: today after school
Last kiss: oh god umm few weeks ago?
Last cry: couple of days ago prolly
Last library book checked out: A Portrait of a Lady
Last movie seen: godsend (freakkkky)
Last food consumed: hamburger
Last crush: i sorta have one now, sorta not..
Last phone call: today when camila wanted to go to the mall with matt and god knows who else
Last time showered: yesterday night
Last shoes worn: my black sandals
Last cd played: ryan cabrera!!! <33
Last item bought: candy after school
Last annoyance: my dad
Last disappointment: ha theres so many to name...
Last time wanting to die: i actually never wanted to die...
Last time scolded: um i never get in trouble
Last shirt worn: black t-shirt
Last website visited: woohu.com
Last word you said: away
Last song you sang: shame on me by ryan cabrera

What...

What is in your cd player?: ryan cabrera cd <33
What color socks are you wearing?: i dont wear socks...
What color of underwear are you wearing? purple!
What's under your bed?: um crap
What time did you wake up today?: 5:45 am

Future...

Where do you want to go?:UWM or Stanford
What is your career going to be? doctoral or psychological

Where are you going to live?: in a suburban community in a eastern state
How many kids do you want?: 1 or 2
What kind of car(s): cool ones

Current...

Current mood: happy :)
Current music: blind sight by ryan cabrera <33
Current taste: soda
Current hair: in a messy bun..looks like shit
Current clothes: black shirt and a skirt
Current annoyance(s): nothing really
Current longing: for a second chance...

Current desktop picture: sum ugly gray and black thing
Current favorite artist: ryan cabrera<33
Current book(s): Portrait of a Lady..errgggh.
Current color of toenails: black
Current time-wasting wish: haha...

[get to know you]

@ Name: janelle
@ Age: 16
@ Height: 5'6"
@ Sign: aries
@ Hair Color: blonde with black
@ Eye Color: i dunno they change
@ Foot Size: 8.5
@ Heritage: german
@ Birthplace: milwaukee, wisconsin<3

[schooling]

@ Pre-school: i was too cool for pre-school
@ Elementary School: our redeemed <33
@ Middle School: advent and OR
@ High School: OHHS <33 and WBRHS
@ College: UWM
@ Extracurricular Activity of Choice: basketball
@ Favorite Elementary School Memory: having a crush on rocky...geez what was i thinking? lol
@ Favorite High School Memory: all my wonderful friends that ive made <33 xoxo

[hygiene.. oh yea personal stuff]

@ Shower How Often?: everyday
@ Morning or Night Showers?: mornings
@ Brush Teeth How Often?: twice a day
@ Floss? (Don't lie!): like never lol
@ Shampoo Brand: sleek look
@ Soap/Body Wash Brand: sumthing from avon
@ Lotion Brand: i dont use lotion
@ Face Wash Brand: clean and clear
@ Toothbrush Color: pink and white!!
@ Body Spray: um none? lol

[love, hate, rejection, and all the fun stuff.]

@ Define Love: when two people complete each other..
@ Have you ever mistaken love for lust? possibly
@ Are you in love? With who?: im not sure. m
@ If yes, are you sure it's love?: no im not sure
@ If no, have you ever been in love?: im not sure once again
@ What happened?: ahh omg ur annoying
@ Have you ever been used?: yeppp
@ What happened and why?: too many times to tell
@ Have you ever used someone?: yes sadly
@ What happened and why?: same thing
@ Biggest disappointment (relationship/girl/guy-wise): haha...um lots.
@ Why?: omg stop asking really homosexual questions!!!
@ First Kiss?: haha um yeah that was bad...started with an r
@ Most Memorable Kiss?: that one night after the battle of the bands and the movie
@ PDA Fan?: not really
@ Ever been dumped?: yeah
@ Ever dumped?: yup
@ Worst kisser: both kevins lol
@ Worst hugger: anthony
@ Best kisser: max i think
@ Best hugger: dunnoo
@ Are you friends with any of your exes?: yeah
@ Nicest romantic thing done for you: haha nothing whatsoever..

[random questions because i'm done with catagorizing]

@ What are you wearing?: shirt and skirt
@ What are you doing?: this survey
@ What do you want to do with your life?: become a doctor, get rich, marry a handsome doctor
@ One Naughty Secret: that night at the window w/ camila + 2 boys =??? hahaha
@ One Silly Secret: teehee its a secret i cant tell
@ One Bad Habit: im so fucking picky
@ One Bad Personality Trait: i get pissed too easily
@ One Good Habit: im a nice person?
@ One Good Personality Trait: i dunno
@ One Natural Talent: i can say the stupidest things lol
@ One Acquired Talent: i dunno
@ Thing you want to do once in your life: meet ryan cabrera <33
@ Thing you will never do in your life: drugs
@ Where do you want to travel to?: italy
@ Where will you never go?: bangladesh
@ What do people not get about you?: everything...
@ What do you need right now?: to go to bed and study
@ What do you have right now?: nothing that i really want...


all done. =] now its time for bed.

-nite nite-

<33-janelle

4 _* | ...[Ryan

if all of the things that you thought you would be pass you by....


OMFG. i am soooo incredibly happy right now that i cant stop smiling. my dad thinks im smoking sumthing. lol. but ahhh nothing can ruin my mood right now!!! =] =] =]

-I LOVE YOU ALL x0x0-

<3333333-janelle

2 _* | ...[Ryan

if u need a car, truck or van..who ya gunna call? MAROONE!!..lol


grrrrness. matt and frank and josh are having a halloween party thing on either the 16th or the 23rd and camilas mom is letting her go well if i can go. and i prolly cant. cuz my mom isnt gunna let me go cuz theres gunna be drinking and shit. grrrr. i dont even know if i really wanna go.... blahhh.

-later G-units-

<33-janelle

2 _* | ...[Ryan

and i thank god that i , that i finally found you...


today was pretty good actually. surprising since it was an even day. me and camila go to skool earlier and we ran into danny and his friend. so they decided to walk with us and hang out with us. yay we had friends this morning lol ! then owen showed up and yeah. owen=disaster waiting to happen. he dropped my damn box of notecards all over the floor. ahh i culda strangled him. then he sat on me. errrf. lol. aww it was fun this morning. i learned that u can eat weed thanks to my dear stoner friend danny <3. lol!!! english sucked but thats cuz we took a "realistic" ap test and i had no idea what the questions meant. lol. then we had to write a timed essay that i totally bullshitted. er. then spanish was ok. kinda fun. we actually got mrs. cripps to ramble off sunject for 15 minutes. we have never gotten her to do that before and this is the 3rd year shes been my teacher. lol. lunch was fine i suppose. i saw piercing boy!!! ahhhh <33 lol. but yeah. 5th hr was fine. 6th was ms. palettis bday and yeah it was fun. then after school chilled with camila and damien and sum strange kid whos white but turns brown. lol. then got picked up, went o wendys, saw all these gay middle schoolers and scott, gustavo, and jeremy. didnt stay to talk to them since they seem to have sticks up their asses lately. errrrg. whatevaaaaa. tomorrow=will be gay. i never do anything on odd days. blah. bye

-later acquaintences-

<33-janelle


mi favorite song as of a few days ago:

Cuz its all in my head,
i think about it over and over again
and i cant keep picturing you with her
and it hurts so bad..
cuz its all in my head,
i think about it over and over again
i replay it over and over again
i cant take it, yeah i cant take it no more...

i dont know what else to do,
i cant go on not loving you...


<333

2 _* | ...[Ryan

im not the kind of girl you want to leave, you'll see....


ah today suxed. we had school and it was a regular day.errrr... i wore my cute pink and black shoes and OMFG they hurt my feet so bad i was like gunna cry on the way to class. 1st hour we wrote letters to our army dudes. mine was soooo gay!! lol. 2nd hour was fine i gotta good grade on my scarlett letter reading log so im happyy. 3rd-gay. 4th-read a story in spanish yo no comprendo any of it. lol. 5th-fine. 6th-fine sean kept slapping me....grrr ! lol. 7th-fine. me and dana played with her Mars Mud lol it was squishy!! then after school hung out with damien and ppl and yeah. hes probly coming with us to homecoming. so thats cool. then went to publix to buy sum candy for ms. paletti since its "Suck Up Day" tomorrow. lol.

OMFG. during lunch, gustavo tried to break all my fingers like he told me he was gunna do yesterday. and he wound up giving me a big ass scratch on my forehead and under my eye. im gunna kill that bastard if it leaves a scar!!!!!

well now i gotta go fill chris in on the max thing which def. did not go as planned. i dont even know if he read the damn thing. grrrrness. w/e.

-later ya'll-

<33-janelle

2 _* | ...[Ryan

all my life, i pray for someone like you, and i hope that u feel the same way too....


today was fun. woke up at like 11. got ready watched dave the barbarian (my favorite show!!) then went out with mommy and grandma shopping. and i got to drive. yayy!! we went to bealls and i found my homecoming dress. im soo happy. then bought elastic at rag shop for my pink and black shoes that i bought the other day. i got black high heels for my dress and then got a new pair or jeans, a black shirt and a pair of black dickies. ooh and a new bra. lol. it was fun and mommy paid for it all. oh yeahhhh! came home. tried on my dress with my shoes and went outside to show alina. sum weird dudes in a truck whisteld nd shit so i flicked them off. lol. but whatevvvaaa. then my family ate their dinner (steak) that cost 72 fucking dollars. i hate steak so i ate hot dogs. lol. im weird. but now im gunna go get alina cuz i told her we'd hang out when i was done eating. ehhhh...we have school tomorrow. what joy. =[

-later dudes-

<33-janelle

2 _* | ...[Ryan

bafangul x 4349834548989800000


omfg. today sucked so fucking bad u cant even imagine. fuking woke up at 1:30 cuz camila went fucking psycho last night and wuldnt got to sleep cuz she saw bernise the dead lady in her room. and then like didnt even shower till fucking 4 and did shit. nothing. nada. its so gay. came home to eat dinner and my family is fucking bothering me. i didnt eat like anything and ahhh. all i wanted to do was go out tonight. anywhere. i didnt care who was there or whatver. i jus need to get out of the fucking house before i do sumthing stupid. i cant take it anymore im having a horrible day everyone is bothering me i was gunna tell "him" that thing tonight cuz hes online but i dont think i have the strength to go thru it right now. i dont know what in fucking doing tonight but there is no way in hell i am staying inside.

-fuck!-

5 _* | ...[Ryan

my other journal


heres the link for my livejournal. i dont use it much tho...


http://www.livejournal.com/~dumbblonde1137

2 _* | ...[Ryan

looks at her average life, and nothing is all right...


today was eh ok. woke up, got ready and made myself pretty lol. then jaryd and zach and everyone was bothering us to go over to boca winds so i called jaryd and started screaming at him supposedly it was so loud that zach could hear me downstairs and everyone thought it was fucking hilarious. whatever. then we went over to stefan and marcus' house. then me and camila argued, she left, and i stayed for a while. then went home ate dinner went outside and met up with nicole and niki. then we walked to nicoles house and joel and his friend doug came over to ask nicoles stepdad (whos a cop) a few questions cuz sumone keyed his car reallllly realllly badly and he was so pissed. so yeah then afterwards we all kinda hung out on her driveway talking to them. it was fun i suppose. joel sorta changed since i had last talked to him in 9th grade when i was like freakin in love with him *thumbs up* wow we were gay lol. then they left to go beat the shit outta the dude that fucked up his car and me and camila went home. then we ended up going to hang out with scott zach and max. we had to walk to his house past the lake and it was soo scary. then we get there and they arent at his house!!! so we went to find them. then we walked bak to scotts and him and max played pool. then we all left and went home. but OMFG on the way home walking by the lake a bum or hobo thing started yelling sumthin to us in like black ppl language and then started like running after us. jesus fucking christ ive never run so fast in my life. we hopped the fence so fast. i was so scared i was like hysterically crying. omg never again are we going by that lake.!! well now im sleepin over camilas again and shes being gay, but hey, what is new? lol bye

-later penguins-

<33-janelle

2 _* | ...[Ryan

and i've lost my direction, where do i turn??


yesterday was pretty...gay. i had slept ovr camilas house and we did like nothing cuz her gay computer broke! then we woke up after 12 and made breakfast and noodles that tasted really weird. then went home and showered and did stuff on the computer. chris, jeremy, and gustavo were supposed to come over at 4 or 4:30 when nicole would already be home but they ended up coming like at 3 and grrr. yeah. we sat around in camilas house. jeremy ate food. chris was like dancing and singing to these gay rap songs and gustavo was freakin raping me. then we went outside and nicole came and we jus hung out. then me, nicole, and camila went to niki's house and her cousin tristan was there. we looked at her old loggers run yearbooks and we saw mike and tonys pictures...awwww! lol they look so innocent bak then! also saw jeremy, max and chris's 7th and 6th grade pictures...awwww!!! lol!!!!! then we walked up to wendys and ran into allie so she hung out with us. up there we saw mike (or shuld i say, mikeypoo? lmao) then walked home with jeremy allie and gustavo and camila and then the boys left, i went home and yeah. then went to alinas house and her parents called me a whackjob cuz my new shoes are funny looking. lol. hung out with alina steph and erica for awhile then went to camilas and it was boring. then went home and talked to my mommy about everything =] <33. im so glad that me and mom dont fight like everybodie else seems to do with their parents. anyways then talked to ppl online till ril late and i wrote something but im scared to show it to him. ehhhhh. ooooh and i changed my comment link thing....i think its beautiful. lol. well im out. peace.

-later losers-

<33-janelle

2 _* | ...[Ryan