angel_bob
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2009 19 July :: 1.24am
Things that are funny
When people yell at you ON THE INTERNET for saying things to/about them ON THE INTERNET and are upset that you did not say these things to them in person, only to then insist that it is your responsibility to contact them and apologize. Like it's your problem.
I'm sorry, kids. You are way overdue for a life update.
I'll get back to you on that.
3 Agreements |
Life's A Bitch
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sike-a-delic_grasshopper
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2009 11 June :: 12.50pm
Hey kids. I'm in CA. On my way back to MI. Be there in a month or so.
Life's A Bitch
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angel_bob
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2009 4 June :: 8.10pm
Okay, kids.
I have a question/request.
My deodorant just isn't cutting it anymore.
Apparently I sweat when I'm hot now? This never used to happen. I am obviously out of my element.
So what do you guys use? Guys meaning GIRLS. Because I tried using Nick's and it doesn't work. Unless you have asexual deodorant.
12 Agreements |
Life's A Bitch
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angel_bob
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2009 30 May :: 11.57pm
so.
At NewJob this week, we actually had to do some work. We had to call up hotels and supply them with credit card info for some guests. The reasoning is really boring and lame. Of course, we got assigned hotels that speak our language.
Ug ug.
So I call up a hotel and the guy has no idea what I'm getting at. He cannot understand my French. (It was pretty terrible. My first call, haven't spoken French in ages, super nervous etc.) Anyway, he can't find the reservation and puts me on hold for long enough that I begin to think he's trying to get rid of me. He comes back finally and I tell him I have the reservation number if he wants to look it up by that. Sure, he says, let's try that.
I read the number (which of course has to be nine numbers long, three sets of three. It can't just be three numbers.) and he repeats it back to me. "Cent vingt neuf. Trois cent quarante cinq..." He can't understand quarante of all numbers. Okay, "un deux neuf. Trois quatre cinq." He's with me so far. Thank goodness. This isn't that bad after all! "Un six neuf." He repeats it back to me: "un huit neuf."
Oh no. Please don't do this to me. I know my French sucks but SIX (6) sounds nothing like HUIT (8).
Kids, six sounds like "cease." It is nowhere near huit which sounds like "wheat". It had to have been a phone problem because I was clearly saying CEASE. NOT WHEAT.
"Pas huit...six."
"Huit."
"Six."
"Huit. Un huit neuf."
"SIX! SIX!"
"Huit."
Sure whatever. Huit. I don't care anymore. He's never going to find the person anyway.
So he can't find the reservation and finally we both give up. He says he found it and has the credit card number and I can't/don't want to fight with him.
I au revoir him and move on.
Next guy I call up can't understand me either. He switches to English. And I'm all, whatever, I love English. It's my native language. So I get it done in English and call the next one.
Who also switches to English.
Then I call the next one. Who ends up getting upset that I said his fax machine wasn't working. I am sorry but it wasn't. He also switches to English but doesn't speak good English so we're doing a half and half thing and he calms down. He flirts with me and invites me to Corsica because the weather is wonderful. Everything ends up going well and he finds everything and I'm done. I remember to get his name: Philippe.
The moral of the story: my French is terrible.
Then last week, I end up fighting with Hope girl because I hate French people and French and she's all why'd you apply for the job then and I'm all for the thousandth time, they found me. And it turns out she's dating a French guy and gets all defensive and it's awful. Oh and she's one of those uptight controlling people. And I'm the exact opposite. You know me, I'm completely chill. It's not going to kill me so I don't care.
Anyway things are crazy. I wouldn't be able to survive it if my class and my trainers weren't so awesome.
Read more..
3 Agreements |
Life's A Bitch
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angel_bob
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2009 28 May :: 11.17pm
oh to the em gee
This work week has been hilarious.
More details tomorrow. I should be in bed.
2 Agreements |
Life's A Bitch
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angel_bob
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2009 16 May :: 7.35pm
Okay.
First week of NewJob went okay. It actually was a whole lot better by week's end. I am going to have to get over this not liking to speak French thing since that's my job now. Sigh etc.
I have a stupid NewJob story that happened on Wednesday and I wrote on Wednesday:
Today [Wednesday], we had a trainer come in and teach us Google Earth [which I TOTALLY already know and used when it first came out]. Before we started, he went around the room and asked our names and for us to say something in our language. He was French African.
Please tell me you are feeling the same thing I was: DREAD. PANIC. DREAD.
So we go around the room and everyone is saying five bajillion sentences and the other two French people have great accents and each have two paragraphs prepared already.
So he gets to me and all I can think to say is "ta mère est un pamplemousse." I can't call his mother a grapefruit! Who knows what connotation that has! I am probably calling her a whore or something.
What do I do? What do I do? OH! MAKE A JOKE! People love jokes! They will be so busy laughing that they won't notice that you say "Bone-jewurrr y'all"! Make a joke, Rachel.
Do I say my name in French or English? What did the Hope girl say? KAH-Rhen? Okay, so French.
"Je m'appelle Rachelle et je ne parle pas français."
Everyone is staring at me. Why are they staring? Did I miss an article? "Parlez-vous anglais?" No. No article needed. I said the "ne" but they can forgive that, I was nervous, I had to prepare a simple sentence. THIS IS A JOKE. I just said "I don't speak French" in French! Ha ha. Laugh already. No one is laughing. Okay.
"Ceci n'est pas une pipe...?"
Did they get it? Okay. He got it. And I got a little laugh. Ugh. Do these people have no sense of humor? Hope girl is staring at me. I'm not even looking at British guy. Heaven forbid he judge me. He's British. We left them for a reason. And Hope girl liked France. Screw them.
Reasoning doesn't stop the embarrassment. I can feel myself turning red. I am warm, it's warm in here. Ugh. I am a retard. Why did I think this job would be okay? I can no longer get away with the fact that I don't speak French.
I told them up front. I told them it was terrible! It's not my fault!
During break, I am furiously checking the internet as I have chosen sleep over Google Reader for the past week and have 97 unread items. I AM STARING AT THE SCREEN AND NOT WELCOMING CONTACT.
Hope girl turns around. TURN BACK AROUND, GIRL. DO NOT WANT YOUR HUMORLESS FACE LOOKING AT ME. AM ON THE INTERNETS.
"Bonjour, Rachelle."
Cut her off, cut her off! There's no way I'm speaking French to her and letting her judge me. I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND. I hate France! I hate French! I just told you I don't speak French.
"Oh, no. I cannot think to speak French today." Still staring at my 97 Google Reader items. Must label all interesting things.
"Oh. I was just... I was wondering why you said you didn't speak French."
I looked over at her. Oh, God. She is looking at me with pity and concern. Cut it off quick! No friends! No pity! No French!
"It was A JOKE."
"Oh." She turns back around quickly. The conversation is over.
Was I just a bitch to her? I think I was just a bitch. Whatever. She's not talking to me.
Ugh. Why don't these people get jokes?
At least they are all nice.
3 Agreements |
Life's A Bitch
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angel_bob
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2009 13 May :: 9.35pm
I don't like being a grownup. It is not fun. Ugh.
Life's A Bitch
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angel_bob
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2009 7 May :: 11.49pm
I am done with college, kids.
On Saturday, I will graduate as a BA with a BA!
Drinks, guys? Friday or Saturday night would be best. Let me know. Let's party like it's 2009!
6 Agreements |
Life's A Bitch
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angel_bob
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2009 4 May :: 9.40pm
I am doing my final French translation project (Due tomorrow although it has been in my possession for...over a month. I lost it for a while and was afraid I'd have to get another copy.) and my professor gave us the weirdest things to translate.
For some reason, he gave us all old articles about the dangers of these newfangled things called...wait for it...COMPUTERS. Mine is an article from May 1991 about keeping medical records (dramatic pause) ON COMPUTERS (gasp, faint in terror etc.).
My favorite part so far?
No, it's not the part about keeping our precious family history on terribly not safe things called computers.
No, it's not the part where they talk about this whole process being a conspiracy between pharmaceutical labs and an early Apple company called NeXT (who really is only in it because the technology is available and they want to be ahead of the game).
No, my favorite part is where the author rambles on about the things that are going to be transmitted from computer to computer. Things like...photos! And...X-Rays! And...EKGs! And...notes they took when we came into the doctor's office and we talked to the doctor! His biggest fear? The fear that closes the second paragraph? He fears that while computers are in black and white now, someday they may be in color. And they will be capable of transmitting all sorts of documents like calculations performed in spreadsheets that will be able to make 3D plans!
It's great fun but this article is really way too long. Yeah final project blah blah but I'd rather be done with this already. Stupid homework.
Never again after Saturday, kids! NEVER AGAIN!
I love you all.
1 Agreement |
Life's A Bitch
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angel_bob
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2009 30 April :: 2.53am
Let me tell you about the not terrible at all things I am doing to show you that my life is actually awesome and not terrible at all.
Throw up throw up throw up throw up.
Last class tomorrow. Still have 4+ papers (best estimate has been 5-6) and one exam next week Thursday.
Cap and gown threw me over the edge. Puke puke. And of course people at work can't stop talking about how next Thursday is my last day.
I got that job by the way. Sorry, things got in the way so I haven't talked about it. Remember the one I talked about earlier? I had a French interview after my normal one and I guess it went well because I start the Monday after graduation: May 11. Ugh. Adult life is such a bummer. But full time, one and a half times what I'm making now plus benefits after 90 days is kind of nice, I guess.
I applied to another government job. This one requires a civil service exam. The next testing period is in June and since I have a real world job now, I have to choose a date during the weekend. Of course, the second I got home to set a date, all the testing times at GRCC were taken. Same with East Lansing. And Dearborn. So I could choose Auburn Hills, Caro or Sault Ste Marie. Guess which one was the only city with Saturday testing times available. That's right. Sault Sainte Marie.
So on June 6, I will be driving by myself to the UP for the first time. I have never been to the UP. I have never driven by myself for longer than two hours. And since the test is at 10:30 in the morning, I should leave by at least 6:30.
Is there anything awesome up there? I definitely am going to stop at the locks because I'm a dork and locks are awesome. And I hear there are waterfalls up there somewhere too. I might as well make a day of it. Let me know what I need to see and where I need to go. My camera is definitely coming with me.
Okay I just googled some waterfalls and not only are they a little disappointing but they are also basically in Wisconsin. So I definitely need some tips. Is Sault Sainte Marie a cool town? Should I just stay around there?
I'd like to say a little something here about stupid people but I decided to say this instead:
You have one life to live. You have a ton of time left to live it. (Don't you start in on me about how old you are. Look at how far you've come. You are still young, kid.) Are you really going to waste some of that time worrying about what might happen? There are so many things out there you could be doing. There are so many places to see and people to meet. Stop sitting around worrying about whoever the news is telling you is coming after you, hates you, wants to get you. Stop thinking about catching whatever they say is out there from paper plates or pop cans or popcorn or other people. Are you going to waste this moment of your life inside? Worrying? Scared? Live. Do things. Love. Hug someone, love someone, do something. Just breathe. In. Out. Live.
I have only been alive for 22 years. Do you know how much I still get to do? I get to get married, have kids, have adventures, have grandchildren, live a long life. I get to graduate from college next week with a bachelor's degree. Who knows what the next 22 years hold for me? I am excited.
I love you guys. For serious. I hope you all are doing okay and aren't too stressed out. Just keep breathing and put it in perspective. Papers aren't going to kill you. Exams aren't going to kill you. Do it and get it over with.
I love you.
6 Agreements |
Life's A Bitch
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