:: 2003 31 October :: 4.48 pm
:: Mood: happy

Today was great... it was one of the most easiest days iv ehad in a long time... i came to school wearing a tie and fishnets and stuff... i felt pretty handsome.. i was like "yay... im ready for anythign today".. and then i got to english and i did my skit on stage... and i did well.. it wsa kinda sick though becuase chris smeared ketchup all over himself and it smelled terrible... and then during break i saw Josh S... he was dressed up as a pregnent women whore thing... he was wearing a really short dress and a mullet (a wig)... he makes the ugliest women i have ever seen..... it was sooo hilarious though.. lmao i asked him "dude, josh.. by any chance do you take credit cards".. lmao... that wsa the funniest thing i have ever seen.. and then chem was easy.. we didnt do anything.. and then i went to lunch all the lunches and people told me how handsome i looked.. i was like "YAY!".. i felt truely alive... and then in 4th block it was really easy... all i did was play games...and then i went home.. and now im here :P...

.:: From Behind My Eyes::.

:: 2003 31 October :: 4.45 pm

You have Dependent Personality Disorder

This personality disorder is characterized by a
long-standing need for the person to be taken
care of and a fear of being abandoned or
separated from important individuals in his or
her life. This pervasive fear leads to
"clinging behavior" and usually
manifests itself by early adulthood. It
includes a majority of the following symptoms:

has difficulty making everyday decisions without an
excessive amount of advice and reassurance from
others

needs others to assume responsibility for most
major areas of his or her life

has difficulty expressing disagreement with others
because of fear of loss of support or approval.

has difficulty initiating projects or doing things
on his or her own (because of a lack of self-
confidence in judgment or abilities rather than
a lack of motivation or energy)

goes to excessive lengths to obtain nurturance and
support from others, to the point of
volunteering to do things that are unpleasant

feels uncomfortable or helpless when alone because
of exaggerated fears of being unable to care
for himself or herself

urgently seeks another relationship as a source of
care and support when a close relationship ends

is unrealistically preoccupied with fears of being
left to take care of himself or herself


What personality disorder do you have? (Lots of answers)
brought to you by Quizilla


wow... i did another mental disorder quiz and i got dependent again.... ::sigh::... it must be some kind of sign..... though i must say that most of those syntoms dont fit me at all.. lmao

.:: From Behind My Eyes::.

:: 2003 30 October :: 4.46 pm
:: Mood: alittle stressed/ happy

TODAYS HALLOWEEN! but im not trick or treating...im to old i guess ::sigh::.. i miss beign little.... anyways.. english was ok today.. we all went to the auditorium and ran through our lines onstage... but CP CHEM SUCKED ASS !!! ALOT OF ASS!.. like.. i did terrible on that test.. i ddont understand any of it.. and then we had to show him our hw from the past week.. but i was really sneaky and didnt show him.. ill show him tommorrow.. for some points off... instead of getting a 25% or something.. and then jeff was wearing his froto ( or frodo) costume... it was wicked awsoume... he even had feet hair... and then all the lunches went by.. and i got to 4th block.. me and randy hung out... he is such a pimp.... i get sooo mad... he doesnt even try ( and he has a gf) and girls always want to talk to him... the only thing he does is be himself.... i be myself all the time but i guess there is some kind of difference.. maybe randy just is really really alot more attractive then me.. like.. i can see in general how people eyes just light up when they see him.. people never do that to me... and when they do its really obvious that they dont really feel that way and there just beign nice..... but it doesnt really matter.. lmao.. theres going to be someone sooner or later... i just hope its goign to be atleast by the time i graduate... im scared... i have never had a gf... never once.. and im a senior!...lmao... its just the way it goes though i guess.....

.:: From Behind My Eyes::.

:: 2003 30 October :: 4.04 pm

Stoner Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


another quiz (which i stole from ashly) gone wrong.. i quit man.. i dotn smoke weed... i havent since the last weekened of summer vacation...

.:: From Behind My Eyes::.

:: 2003 29 October :: 8.30 pm
:: Mood: proud/happy

today was a good day.... ( i seem to start out all my entries like this... ive been noticing)... i wore a dress shirt with a WHITE shirt under neath it, really baggy jeans, and fishnets... i felt pretty handsome... not that im conceited but it feels good to actually say for once that i felt good about my appearance.. and then i got to english.. we talked about how satan was thrown down from heaven and how heaven is set up, for all of class.. it was ver interesting.. and then in CP Chem i had a quiz and i havent paid attention at all this week but i still got a 98%.. ive had my head in the clouds alot lately.. but i enjoy my day dreamign soo i wouldnt have it anyother way.. i luv thinking though i know that it is often the cause for my depression...but at the same time day dreaming brings me soo much creativity..

the only bad thing i regret about today is that i accidently called ashly "nicole"... yeah.. i hate myself for getting soo upset over it, i know if it was like chris or randy or anyone else for that matter i would have just been like "whatever, oops..lol".. but for some reason it hurt... all of lunch i was like "yeah...if i dont say bye to her when she leaves, it will be like we didnt talk once today...".. and then 5 seconds before i was about to say something nicole randomly hugged me... which was really unexpected.. and i was still re-cooperating, soo i called her nicole...i dont feel bad about it anymore...

i got really mad at that "what mental disorder do you have" quiz.. but i guess now that maybe to a few certain people im very very dependent..99% of my friends i can not care over disagreements with....but for that 1% i feel like im waisting something feeling sooo bad, but i still feel it....

lorna was really really sad and crying today... not about anything.. just one of those days... me and randy brought her to the auditorium for all of 4th block.. afterwards she was happy and all smiles... it made me feel really good that i actually helped make someones day... especially since it was lorna.... i dont care what people say...lorna is a great person.. and weve been friends since i was like 11...... she always can make me smile...and today i finally got to repay her in a way..

.:: From Behind My Eyes::.

:: 2003 29 October :: 7.46 pm

Your Heart is Blue


What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla


yes yes i know.... but another test/ quiz i stole from ashly.... but can you blame me..lol.. she always finds the good ones id really want to take...lmao... thanks ashly :)..

.:: From Behind My Eyes::.

:: 2003 29 October :: 4.20 pm

dependent


Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla


lmao....damn.... accordign to the test im not my own person....ive been saying "im my own person" for like weeks... and it felt great... so im going to keep saying it if the survey likes it or not.. :: sticks his middle fingre up at the screen::.. sit on this and twirl stupid survey!! HA!

.:: From Behind My Eyes::.

:: 2003 28 October :: 4.22 pm
:: Mood: excited

today was a great day..lol... nothign went wrong... i didnt feel depressed... except i felt alittle plain as far as my clothing... i always wear the same thing.. but tommorrow im going to do somethign radically odd for me... im going to school preppy ;).. just to see how it feels... but im going to wear the fishnets soooo im kinda goth at the same time... i call it "gepic"... ( a mix of gothic and prep)... anyways.. my dad just bought a new 2003 dodge truck...its like really sporty and fast... lmao.. it has a v-8 but its not huge... it definetly is faster then my crown vic.... i cant wait to test drive it.. my dad was like "itss soooo fast... it goes from 1 mile an hour to OH SHIT in 2 seconds".... i was like "SWEET!".. lol... today was a good day

.:: From Behind My Eyes::.

:: 2003 26 October :: 6.39 pm
:: Mood: good/hungry

Today was a really good day... i woke up (like i do every morning) and then i watched "star-trek nemesis" and last night i saw "matrix- reloaded"...they were both good.. and then after lunch i picked up mike and went to jeremys house.... we were going to jam but there was no randy... soo we decided to visit chris... after that we all went to the Escape Key for 2 hours and played gamecube.. fun fun.. they were useing wireless controls though and it took us 17 minutes to fix all of their frequencys so they would actually work... but once we started playing 'Smash Brothers Melee' it was worth the trouble... and then i dropped everyone back off and now im here.... oh yeah... i also drew some today, i thought id be rusty but it all came back...today was a good day :).

Im soooooo sooooo hungry..lmao... i think im goign to make a 7 egg omlet.... yeah, i know 7 eggs is alot... but i need the fat to survive...lmao... and i only chose to have 7 becuase its a descent # and its lucky and my mom says i have to...gah.....yum... this paragraph was really random but i know you guys wont mind :-P...

*update*: i feel like im going to hurl.. thankfully there wasnt 7 eggs, there was only 5, so i had to eat 5.. and then she made me eat a big block of cheese, i never want to see cheese again (atleast until tommorrow...).. and then i had to drink a cup of milk and a cup of V8... and then like 3 little debbie oatmeal cookies... she wants me to get fat soo she will get a good amount of cash when she sells me on the black market... but seriously, the doctor said my weight is perectly fine.. and i feel great.... but shes not going to be happy until i weigh like 160.... right now i weigh 145... :-/ ... oh well.. shes crazy...

.:: From Behind My Eyes::.

:: 2003 25 October :: 6.57 pm
:: Mood: happy/shitty

today was ok....i did the usual for a saturday... i went to jeremies for band practice.. but we didnt do anything becuase no one was there... well...i should say that what we really needed was for mike and randy to be there... but they both had work.... like... i needed mike to play the second guitar part and so i could know if it sounded good..and i needed randy to be there so he could make the words fit...he said they fit perfectly..but i tried singing them as i played and i couldnt figure them out.. sooo...it was but another crappy band practice...

mayeb if i say it wasnt a band practice at all i will feel better...yeah.. it wasnt band practice..i was just over there to hangout with jeremy, joey, and roy (becuase thats almost i did anyways)... yeah, that makes me feel better...

tommorrow is going to be alot better i hope... becuase mikes going to be there... and if randy doesnt have work until late then it will be perfect...and then that song will be finished..and we will be able to say.. "hey we have a song... yay".. unless mike is an asshole and is like "todd, i like the old verse better..."... and then starts a big fight with me... i hate that.... but im just hoping he wont... especially since "the old verse" wasnt even a verse at all..it was crap..anyways...

.:: From Behind My Eyes::.

:: 2003 25 October :: 1.22 pm

You are spoon guy. You should have planned ahead
buddy, or packed a bigger lunch.


which rejected character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Rejected is the best....lmao..im kinda disappointed i got the spoon guy though..oh well... atleasts hes better then the bleeding anus cloud..

.:: From Behind My Eyes::.

:: 2003 24 October :: 4.06 pm
:: Mood: great :)

Today was a great day...everythign was just great.. except nothign really happened that i could actually really wirte in here but i will try... i got to school.. ummm...went to englis...then science... and then i went to lunch A and chris gave me a picture of me playign guitar... i thought it came out good (and everyone else did to) so that made me happy.. and then that lunch was over and then in lunch B erin took a picture of me and randy... and everyone was in a happy mood.. and then lunch C was just plain crazy (as usual). and then in lunch D i wondered around tryign to find Ms Halverson so i could show her my lines... but then i found ashly in the library and i guess Ms Halverson had to leave... so i hung out with her for a while.. and then i went to 4th block..lmao.. and people were decorating ceiling tiles by painting pot leaves on them.. Mrs Ferris didnt care (shes a pot head.lmao.. i can tell).. and some teacher walked by when they were working on the tiles (they were working in the hall) and was like "wow, what pretty leaves... theres some cabinets in my room, maybe you could draw some on them..".. she obviously had know idea what they were..lmao..i almost wasnt able to hold in my laughter... and then i got on the bus and went home wicked hyper becuase its friday...and now im writing in my journal :P...

.:: From Behind My Eyes::.