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-.In Joy and Sorrow.-

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:: 2003 31 October :: 3.27 pm
:: Music: Larry the Cable Guy

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERBODY!!!!!!
Yeah, im sittin here at Jessica's gettin ready for halloween. We were gonna go to The Kent Theatre but instead were now goin to go trick or treating with everybody. Its gonna be fun! :D Yeah, well, all you who are goin. ill see you later tonight!

And yeah, again, Nate im sorry. I was just bein really stupid and i was messed up yesterday, not sure why. But yeah. Sorry.

Im feelin better today, most of its cuz its halloween! :D and the other part is cuz i can never seem to stay sad or depressed for too long. Its just not possible for me. I guess thats a good thing! but yeah, bye all! See you when i do!

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:: 2003 30 October :: 8.02 pm
:: Mood: Shattered Innocence
:: Music: Spirit Soundtrack

Sound The Bugle Now (& a Quiz)

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Funny, how songs can say almost exactly what your feeling at times......Thats one of the reasons I love music.....Theres always a song to say what your feeling. You can use them to tell people, when you cant find the words..........

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:: 2003 30 October :: 4.59 pm
:: Mood: so....mixed up and confused

Please read all......i got a lot to get out here.....and Nate, please read the bottom especially
I am so Fucking PISSED! right now. I wanted to go to chuckie cheeses'!! I know you guys probably think im really dumb because of it but I really wanted to go dammit!! Yeah david! im gonna sit here all alone now and think about how unloved i am!! geesh!! i really am to, no one ever talks to me or mentions me in their journals.
And yeah nate, i coulda fit darnit! you just didnt want me to go! So much fer tellin me you still wanted to be my friend, you dont even talk to me anymore, when you do all you basically say is hi and then somethin suddenly comes up that you have to do or whatever. Funny how its always when i start talkin to you that you suddenly have somethin else to do. give me bullshit on still wanting to be my friend, i tried to still be your friend, but you seem to not really want that.
Sorry if i sound paranoid or whatever, I just have really low self esteem and i think im some horrible person that no one could possibly like.......Happy Birthday by the way.

Fuck, im depressed right now and i dont know why.......Would anyone really care if i were gone? Just wondering.......

And about Justin, im sorry, Its not like i dont like him. I do, i just didnt feel it, if you know what i mean. And i feel really bad but i didnt want him to get too attached before i said something. And i know how he feels......believe me i do....most of you probabaly know why. I know what its like to like someone a lot, thinking its goin well, and then they just all of a sudden break it off........
*sigh* does anyone else ever get really confused about things when theyre depressed?? Man, wouldnt life be so much better if we all had the carelessness and innocence of childhood again........those were the days, nothing got you down...for long anyway.....and if someone said somethin you didnt like, there was always someone there to make you feel better, or you could just plain not belive it.........Heh, i dont think ive wrote this much in my journal in forever.....maybe even ever....for that matter. I think im getting better at writing my thoughts down and letting it all out......im not sure tho, i still hold them in too much i think.


.......................Sorry bout up there Nate, I get like that sometimes, I have really bad mood swings too. And sometimes i get really paranoid and jump to conclusions.......Talk to me sometime tho......let me know what you think......I still do want to be your friend.....Maybe get to know you a bit better than i do, how you perceieve certain things and what not.....heh.....that sounds kinda wierd.....but yeah.....

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:: 2003 29 October :: 3.34 pm
:: Music: Linkin Park - My December

Wednesday the 29th
Nothin to do, waitin for my mommy to come get me cuz its wednesday. So bored.....
Been goin through all my past entries, wow, was i one hyper little person back then :S heh, yeah, then, life was all good. lol :P

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:: 2003 28 October :: 3.29 pm
:: Mood: NYAH!!!! :O
:: Music: Daft Punk - One more time

Tuesday the 28th!!!!!
YAY!!! Its almost Halloween!! :D:D I wanted to be an elf but they didnt have any elf costumes at gags and gifts so i got the closest thing i could. A robe thingy with a long blonde wig :D i tried it on and it doesnt look too bad actually, only, stupid me i got the large size and you cant exchange it so that sucks. It still looks alright tho and maybe Jessica's mom can make it smaller for me, she does that kinda stuff. But yeah, If anyone sees any pointy ears somewhere let me know! :D i need some! cant be an elf without pointy ears you know.
Yep right now im sitting at Jessicas house waiting for my grandma cuz i gots an ortho appointment today. Heh, and i just ate like, candy bars, chips and coke lol. Yeah, good thing you can brush your teeth there. Yeah, thursday is gonna be fun, i love Chuckie Cheeses'!! :D even if i cant spell it right! Happy B-day David and Nate!! well, on thursday anyway.

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:: 2003 23 October :: 4.14 pm
:: Mood: I dont really have an mood right now, lol
:: Music: Johnny Cash - Hurt

Nothing in Particular
Yeah, im really bored, and i have nothing to do, and nothing to type about, lol. Umm....once again i am at Jessica's house, i go here everyday after school cuz my bus is really gay and i hate it, and my bus driver too, along with nearly everyone on the bus. Yeah,......I hope this weekend is gonna be fun, i need a fun weekend.
Justin asked me out today at luch and i said yeah ^_^ so as i said the last time, its a given that we are going out cuz i said yeah. And whats cool is, i didnt confuse myself this time! :D ok well i guess thats all i have to say, so ill go now, buhbye :)

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:: 2003 22 October :: 5.13 pm
:: Mood: Violated
:: Music: Joyride - Sallinger

At Jessica's and she is touching me inappropriately, someone seriously please help me.....
Heh, yeah i am at Jessica's house....once again. Im kinda bored. Were tryin to find somethin to do this weekend, we were thinking about goin to Joey's on Saturday night, so if yer reading this Joey do you think we could? Were gonna go to the orchard during saturday day and yeah. Umm...i was gonna say something else but i cant think of what it was. but yeah......OH! i remember now, i was gonna say to Joey that Jessica's mom wants to meet you too lol. Like, just talk to her for a few mins at yer house if and when she drops us off so yeah....so then she will know you and we can go there more often and stuff....lol i dunno, she just wants to meet you.
Seriously!!! SOMEONE GET HER AWAY FROM ME!!!! SHE REALLY STARTING TO SCARE ME!!!! >< *cries* SHES TOUCHING ME AGAIN!!! AND BITING ME!!!! DAMMIT!!!!!!!! EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Dies* X_X

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:: 2003 19 October :: 6.37 pm
:: Music: Linkin Park - My December

Later That Day......
Hehe, yeah. We ended up goin to Joey's, it was really fun. We didnt really do much tho, basically just laid on his bed, listenin to music and stuff. Brad dressed up as Santa, it was really funny :D Then yeah, James was there but he had to leave around 3. He took Mindy's sock off and put it on his dick and then wiped it in almost everyone's faces. It was really disturbing :S Then brad was layin on me Jessica and Joey, and he kept putting his hand down his pants and playing with himself :S man, i tell ya what.....boys are really strange at times. Heh, yeah. I think I like someone else now but at the moment, no one knows who that is :D well, except for Mindy and Jessica lol. But yeah, im sitting here thinking about what to write next, but i cant think of anything.....Jessica says i should write something about how hott some guys are but im not sure i wasnt really listening, i cant listen and think at the same time, lol so im gonna ask her what she said right.......now, Shes laughing at me now, cuz right when i typed now i asked her what she said :D OH!!!! ok, she said that i should write that every guy there was a sexy beast! :D yeah! lol. Out of the what.....7 people there, 3 of them bit me at one time or another, i really dont know why :S Jessica just bit me again!! >< DAMMIT THAT HURTS! anyway....yeah....Jessica still has bradly's balls lol, she took his bracelet off while he was sleepin and forgot to give them back when we left, she almost took his hat too, but remembered to give that back just before we went out the door :) ok....i think thats all.....lol yeah....

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:: 2003 19 October :: 10.30 am
:: Mood: hungry
:: Music: Joyride - Drop Dead World

Texas Chainsaw Massacre!!!! DUN DUN DUN!!!!
Hehe, yeah, we all went to the movies yesterday, we being Me, Jessica, Mindy, Jen, David, Brad, Joey, and Justin. In no particular order :) We went to see Texas chainsaw massacre in case you couldnt tell from the subject. I didnt want to go see it in the first place, i dont like those kinds of movies. But i was overruled and we went anyway, I got to see everyone though so i liked that. But yeah, Before we went, Mindy is all like, "Yeah! lets go see that one, its such a cool movie! Its no that bad you'll like it!! blah blah blah. And then during the movie i look over and she cowering under her coat! Ha, it was great, and actually i didnt mind the movie all that much. But Yeah, it was really fun :D Afterwards me and Mindy stayed at Jessica's house and were planning on goin to Joey's today, most likely we will. Well, guess thats all i have to say, buhbye all, see ya when i do.

Never a christmas morning,
Never the old year ends,
But somebody thinks of Somebody,
Old days, Old times, Old friends........

I thought that was really cool, its sittin here on a sticky note attached to the computer, Jessica's mom came up with it i think.

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:: 2003 18 October :: 1.46 am
:: Mood: Indifferent, detached
:: Music: Staind

Outside

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