valoth
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2011 23 October :: 7.40pm
All Hallows Eve
I miss the old version of Halloween. Everyone these days seems to be obsessed with the gore, guts, and violence version of the holiday thats starting to form.
Remember when it was about outfits from the colonial era and stories that scared you because they played on original fears? Fears of the unknown the unexplained. The emblematic stories!
Stories of creatures that went bump in the night. Werewolves, vampires, and headless horsemen. Creatures that were able to take victims then disappear into the shadows they came from.
These days all I hear and see is zombies and godlike killers like that of Jason. Its all about how much blood will spew from a wound, how many people they can kill, or how much guts they can show.
It all seems Psychotic murderers and stories of undead walking the earth.
Zombies are dumb. The idea of an apocalypse revolving around them is even more stupid. People who like them are stupid. Common sense alone would suggest that something thats dead doesnt make sense roaming around. The only case of undead walking is Jesus, and he didnt go around eating people now did he?
Leave me some Love
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valoth
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2011 23 October :: 1.34am
I think I got across to her today. She might understand things now, even if it was only a few brief statements. That might be wishful thinking, but lets hope not.
Might go hang out with her soon.
She might show up for Thanksgiving still. Sounds like she was planning on that already, regardless of what she wont acknowledge or requite.
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phil-himself
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2011 20 October :: 7.02pm
And it's gonna be hell to pay.
Leave me some Love
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valoth
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2011 19 October :: 2.23am
SEPTEMBER 1st 2011 It all began spiraling downward
Why are you so callous about my feelings?
How many times had I brought the issue up. You make me want to flip the switch and ignore you forever.
I hate knowing you right now. What could I have done with the time Ive wasted on you?
"Men can never be just friends with women"
You can be coworkers, colleagues,related by family, married, divorced, or roomates. Never just friends though.
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valoth
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2011 16 October :: 5.46pm
Ya um fuck.
Another downer day. Not as bad as last time but its on its way.
Today was a day full of more being pushed away and being scorned. I dont like being made to always feel like I should be apologizing.
Im more than setteled on this issue. I gave up. Ill be friends but not like it was. I cant let her use me like this. I wont be her emotional feel better about her self person. Fuck that.
Leave me some Love
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phil-himself
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2011 13 October :: 11.29pm
I have conversations with Nathan sometimes, they are pleasant. We talk about our lives and the world.
1 Lover |
Leave me some Love
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valoth
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2011 13 October :: 1.40pm
At this moment, I feel like Im good on the withstanding issue. Ive contemplated the issue, Ive skirted the issue, Ive wrestled with it multiple times. I think Im okay now.
Im drawing the line.
Im pulling back now.
I may not be the most comfortable now but I think Im good baring some unforeseen curve ball.
Friends it is. I wont always try to be there. I wont try to go the extra mile. If you want it, YOU have to ask for it. I tried doing it and got nothing but headaches and heartaches. I dont need to walk around with those chips on my shoulder anymore.
I dont go out of my way for just anyone. I go out of my way for everyone in some fashion, but this one I cant go any further with. I will withhold.
You cant assume the privileges of a status you dont accept the consequences for. Take responsibility of your actions on my feelings. Express more than just a terribly overplayed statement.
That wont cut it. Return to sender.
EDIT: Ive been searching for the words on this kind of statement forever now. I cant believe it never came to me. Commitment. Bam! Make a commitment to me. Ive been alive 24yrs and seen plenty of stuff to know what I require out of this word. So get to stepping.
Leave me some Love
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valoth
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2011 12 October :: 11.42pm
:: Mood: listless
Im going crazy. 2 steps forward one step back all the damn time.
Ugh. The thoughts racing through my head.
Take a step back Kelly. Stop jumping to conclusions.
Nope. Im drawn.
Spent
Oiy vey
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valoth
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2011 11 October :: 10.27pm
Seems to be easier when you can distract yourself with work.
I feel a little better today. I hope this is the case for the next week or so.
Friday when I get home from Cadi I guess I have to set a show at the YMCA for the GR Marathon. Tear down on Saturday.
We'll see how things go. One day at a time.
Leave me some Love
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valoth
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2011 10 October :: 1.52pm
Show me you care Marley. Go over the edge. Show me some emotion behind this.
If you want me around, make me see it. Go out of your way to show it.
EDIT: You wish you could fix me. You can. Ive given you the tools, use them. Dont skirt the issue and Ill be on stable ground way faster.
Leave me some Love
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