And life goes on........

:: 2006 15 May :: 9.18pm
:: Mood: dirty
:: Music: Nelly furtado- promiscuous

i can see you with nothin on.

So four more days huh?

Thanks Gunnie for all the four years of having woohu for me. I used it every day practically, all throughout high school. Some day I'll have to read every entry I've ever made. HA! right.

Ugh. everything kinda sucks. I am pretty much only excited a little bit for college. But I am REALLY looking forward to getting an apartment. It should be really nice.

I got to leave Rosie's early tonight because Cory is so nice. GOOD! i didn't make much money but it was so slow and it's just nice extra cash in my bank account.

I think we'll be alright. eventually.

ASHKLD

:: 2006 14 May :: 10.20pm

god it's not like you fucking care anyway

leave me the fuck alone.
ask me about something that's actually good , how bout. ugh
dumb

asdlfkjas;dlfjksdl;afkj; jsd umb dubme dubm

i will never have a family like this.

:: 2006 13 May :: 8.29pm

jessica that's okay

I absolutely love my boyfriend.

he is my everything. and i am so selfish i'm not even going to share anything more because i want to keep it all to myself. i'm not even going to say anything that happened because it is mine to treasure and you can't take that away. i never get to see him but at least you can't take this away.

bastards.

i love the movie crash.

and i cant even rant and rave about anything that is bugging me because you people might actually then be let on to what a complete and utter loser i am.
and how i have no one to walk with on graduation and how i am afraid that no one will show up to my open house.

i have everything i need i guess just not everything i'd like to have.
ugh.

shannonw55

:: 2006 11 May :: 3.53pm
:: Mood: accomplished

I got my driver's license yesterday!

:: 2006 11 May :: 1.26pm

ugggghghghghhghghghg

I CAN'T STAND YOU!!!

HOW LOUD MUST I SCREAM IT?!

inside my head that is.

:: 2006 8 May :: 10.23pm

god today sucked so fucking much. i can'twait to be out of high school and fucking livingo n my own with my sweetiepie.

i was in a GOOD MOOD all day, can you belive it? and it was only beacuse i KNEW i did not have to work today

WELL GUESS WHAT

i'm happy as can be, on alpine just shopping my little heart out, i go to menards buy some stuff for the apartment

tra lalalala
a

i head to walmart

i see these adorable little bowls and cups and matching silverware

i go to get a cart

and ring ring a ding ding

my phone is ringing

it's amber from menards.

i was supposed to be tehre at 2:30 pm today she said

BULL SHIT i'm thinking. but twas true.

i wrote down my effing schedule wrong. but at least i have friday off.

god so then i had to go home and change and drive all the way back to work. i was bawling my effing eyes out the whole way there and back . i was so furious because it was so nice out and i was looking forward to getting SO much stuff done and then me and my mom were gonna go to the algoma park and i was gonna rollerblade with my new roller blades. i was so effing exctied and then it all got RUINEd

ugh. but anyway. i'm home, i'm still alive and i .... i duno. i'm tired.

oh and i guess besides everyone hating me and everyone at menards thinking i'm so fucking dumb and absolutely humiliating myself every fucking day...
i'm just peachy.

2 Votes | Vote Here!

:: 2006 7 May :: 9.19pm

well mutha fucka!

i'm done with work and i am so READY for a day off. tomorrow.

oh but wait i still have to go to school.

well mutha fucka.

oh and i dont want to forget what this crazy guy said yesterday.. I was just beeping his little fricken FAMOUS DAVES BBQ SAUCE and he goes "WHAT IN THE LORD'S NAME?!?!?!" he like screams it and grabs the sauce from me (lol) and he goes "..oh, okay spicy" and puts it in the bag.

i'm like hahahahahahaaaaaa. lol
i like jumped a foot when he screamed it because i didn't know what the hell was the matter.
it was so funny. that wwas the only enjoyment i had. really.

:: 2006 7 May :: 10.16am

everything is shit.

as usual.

and i really realy don't think i can take seven more hours today of just standing in one spot. standing in one spot and listening to beeps. and pushing buttons. and saying the same exact fucking thing over and over and over and over there's your reciept have a good day. hi how are you hi how are you hi how are you hi how are you credit or debit credit or debit oh sorry sometimes it goes right to debit.

i am going insane it is such a mundane job and i can't take it anymore. EVERYONE: never be a cashier! I'm sorry i got you into this beans.

i wish i had said i wanted to work in a department and wear gloves and a toolbelt.

i hate being a cashier!! i hate it!

oh and tra lala off to work i go until 7 oclock . another beautiful day completely fucking wasted.

shannonw55

:: 2006 7 May :: 9.10am

I'd feel happier being oblivious.

:: 2006 5 May :: 11.35pm

"Goodnight Nurse"

My mom used to say that to us when we went to bed when I was little. it's from a movie or something.

I dont know. All I know is I got up at 6:30, went to school, came home and went to work at 2 pm until 10:15 and I'm tired as hell.

Like I said, Goodnight, Nurse.

2 Votes | Vote Here!

:: 2006 5 May :: 11.20pm

what a shit day.

work went by relatively fast though. it just sucks. it was so funny though katie and i got to talking and we are like exactly alike. our boyfriends are both 2 hours + away and yada yada and blah blah blah. it's funny. she's cool

i can't wait to work with beannnnns!

tomorrow 12-9. BLEH and barf. and sunday 10-7

i need money though.
wisdom teeth out on the 22nd EEK.\

oh and ps. I FUCKING HATE SCHOOL..
To go into further detail, I realized I enjoy work more than school. At least I get paid for a shit day.

Oh and Beans, I talked to Kyle and he was talking about you and said how you catch on really fast . I was like Yeah, she's really really smart. and oh yeah beans I CANNOT WAIT to show you the huge sign with a big ol' grammatical error on it. lol. YOU'RE GONNA FLIP! Betcha can't find it before I show it to you.

:: 2006 4 May :: 9.49am

i hate everyone plus myself and all i want is to go to the park and have a picnic with roman and never go to school ever for the rest of my life because i hate it.

RIGHT NOW!

and i stayed home because i woke up with a bad headache and school is SO INCREDIBLY POINTLESS that i couldn't get myself to go in later... my only two relavent classes that it even matters like 1% if i miss are Brit Lit and Econ and (looks at clock) eh, brit lit is half done and i look like a troll so i'm not going. that's final.

and i've been doing the school then work school then work school then work thing for too long. i CAN'T WAIT FOR SCHOOL TO BE DONE so then i can just go to work.

i have to be to rosie's at three and then tomorrow 2-10 at menards and then 12-9 menards and then 10-7 menards sunday and then

finally monday i have a day off. but it's not really a day off because i still have to go to stinky ass school. and then tuesday i'll be at rosies and probably same wednesday AND THEN THE REST OF THE WEEK IS AT MENARDS. HOWDY DOODY WHAT A WEEK.

it probably wouldn't be so bad if i just didn't have to go to school. you know?

1 Vote | Vote Here!

:: 2006 2 May :: 8.47pm

Hey everyone

i'm changing my email address to jessicawilde@hotmail.com

please add me.

:: 2006 2 May :: 6.19pm

I took my "exam" for my college class. i'm pretty sure i failed . i really have no idea what my grade is and I have no idea how to check it. i went on blackboard and there are no grades posted. other than ask my professor, which i will not do, i dont think there is any way to even check your grade.

and speaking of failing. that's pretty much what i feel like. my life is so busy it seems but i never get anything done. high school is absolutely pointless and a complete waste of my time. after school i got to work every day now. The days i get off at Menards, I am scheduled at Rosies. It's good I guess but I just feel like I have no time. I think when school gets done I will feel better but I dont know.

i miss band. is that crazy. I miss playing music. After I finished my exam, I walked across the street to the Music Center where I have never ventured and went into some practice rooms and played piano and marimba. I miss it so much.

I can hardly remember anything on mallets. I wish so bad that my parents would have paid for me to do GLP. I think it would have changed my life. Not that I dont like all aspects of my life. I dont wish it was all different, but I really feel empty. I was so disappointed when I stood in front of that marimba and couldn't remember anything I have played in the past. Ugh.... I think Justine is probably the only one who could understand what i'm saying.

I sucked playing piano too, but I hope that's mostly because of the acrylic nails I have on which make it near impossible to play. But I always wish I could have went further in piano. I just didn't have the time or the good teachers.

Not being able to play piano or any instrument well anymore is like feeling like some of you would if you couldn't play a sport anymore. I just feel ... bad. and clarinet..... I haven't picked up that since I quit band last semester. I can only imagine how bad I've gotten.

I just feel disappointed in myself. And hardly anything keeps me up anymore. I dont know. Ugh. Okay this guy next to me wont stop talking loudly on his cell phone in some foreign language and it's getting really annoying.

yeah I'm in the GRCC library now. i have never stopped here before and now that it's my last class I just decided too. pretty stupid but i just didn't want to go home really.

I really am scared. I never wanted that stupid scholarship and now I'm supposed to go and prove to everyone that I can go to college and be smart and be on my own and have a real job and while I type that my fricken eyes fill up with tears because I really feel, deep down that I know I can't do it. yeah you're not supposed to say can't yeah okay. But I really dontthink I can. I dont think I can handle working 20+ hours a week and taking these hard classes to become a Paralegal. Which is what I'm now going for.

I guess.
I suppose.
Even though I dont think I can. It's like I'm telling myself, 'Yeah I'll try it and if it doesn't work I can just drop out, it's not a big deal because I have that scholarship.'

even though it is a big deal.

i dont know what i'm going to do.

i'm going into this completely blind.

and i know nothing about it and I have no faith in myself.

I want roman.

and ps: I'm not even going to start writing about the other thing that's bugging me.

2 Votes | Vote Here!

stinko

:: 2006 2 May :: 11.30am

so i have three days left of school.
can i last?

gaah. so many weddings this summer. it's crazy. frickin yeah.

sometimes it makes me feel old and others it makes me feel young.
i'm not sure where that leaves me exactly.
18.
is that young or old?