:: 2005 7 February :: 7.05 pm

every so often i get this notion in my head that maybe everyone is wrong and that i am right.

But then sometimes it is just the opposite. But right now I am pretty sure that I am right, but it seems that i am alone in my quest for the truth. So who knows, maybe i will drag some people down with me. Yes, i hope so.

let it

:: 2005 31 January :: 12.50 pm
:: Mood: okay

Yesterday i got in the worst snowmobiling/sledding accident of my enitre life. Usuall if I crash or fly out of a sled I get up and am fine, well yesterday was a different story.

First i had been driving the snowmobile and pulling my brother and sister around in sleds. They were having a good time and i was about ready to stop and go inside when my mom came outside and said "emily you should try it too." so i gave it and little did i know i was going to meet my doom.

So the way the sleds are connected there on a single rope with knots along it, so you just clip your sled above one of the knots and that is where you are. Well for some reason i am always position in the first sled, the one closest to the snowmobile, hence there are two sleds directly behind me. That means if i fall out for any reason i have to have some quick reflexes so i can roll clear of the two sleds behind me. Usually i can manage this quite easily.

So my mom is on a straight away in the field, and welll she was going quite fast (she was going faster than i usually drive with my brother and sis) so i am thinking "alright i can't fall because there is no way i will have time to roll clear of the other two sleds." So we go up and down the straight away about...10 times and i am fine. In fact I only fell out once, while we were going about 20mph and i got ran over by my brother and then my sister's sled kind of scooped me up (while crushing my back). I was okay after this because that was a slow speed crash.

Well i was about ready to call it quits but my bro and sis said just 10 more minutes." so i agreed.

We were going down the straight away and mom was at top speed for sled pulling, (about 50 or 60) i could tell how fast we were going by the way the tread on the snowmobile was spitting out the snow into my face. Anyhow, we are nearly to the end of the straight when i somehow lose control. I am not sure what happened next except that I go head first into the snow and i feel my body being pummeled. During this few seconds my body is masacred by the two sleds behind me (my brother weighs about 160 and my sister 70. But remember they are going about 50mph at this time, in sleds.)

I am on the cold ground barely conscious of what happened when my mom, sis and brother are looming over me with worried eyes. I can't feel anything in my face. My is saying something along the lines of "you ear is bleeding" and digs snow out of my ear. She also says something like "You have an abrasion on your neck." well I try to stand up, and my hand is gone, my snowgoggles are gone and one of my boots. I look back and about 30 feet away are my clothing articles. "I rolled that far?" i kept thinking to myself. I flopped on to the back of the snowmobile behind my mom and tried to hold on but, my body was whipped. It was hard to breathe my head was spinning, I had one boot on, my knees felt broken and my arm had cuts along it.

When I got to the house I felt a little better once I sat down. I took some major pain meds and put ice on my knees and for some reason my mom insister upon me putting ice on my neck. My neck did hurt but i figured it was from the many rolls i had done. When my dad got in i was showing him my arm and how bad it felt when he said "that is nothing compared to you neck." at that point i was terrified to even imagine what my neck looked like.

After an hour or so i was able to walk around and do things normally.I was in my room and i went to brush my hair when i looked in the mirror and just about died. I had about a 5 inch long blood red abrasion/cut across my jawline, along with other cuts on my neck. My left side of my cheek was swollen and kind of lopsided. I just stared. My dad said "I think that's a rope burn."

I am very luck i'd say. My neck is still very gross looking and my chin is about 2 inches larger than it should be, my back is in quite a bit of pain and the same goes for my arm, but for the most part i am okay. I do however suspect that i have a concussion, because i experienced some major head trauma and i have had a constant annoying headache ever since. I didn't go to school today because my mom and dad said it would be best to ice my neck and take it easy for awhile.

yes i am very lucky.

let it

:: 2005 25 January :: 5.27 pm
:: Mood: tired

i don't think i am meant to be fully cognizant, or at least at this moment i am verging on drunk/lethargic. Ugh, i have been sleeping well/okay, but i guess i need to sleep more. Maybe, because i have been very edgy lately. Yes, and i don't like it.

let it

:: 2005 16 January :: 11.19 pm
:: Mood: dorky

So i am feeling a bit weird or as i said above "dorky" so why not.

Yes and by the way i started a Xanga journal (i actually started it awhile ago, but haven't updated it) so if anyone wants to check it out, just ask.)

let it

:: 2005 11 January :: 10.01 pm

I haven't wrote in here for awhile, so i thought i would for kicks.

Last week we had three days off school (wed-fri) and well today is tuesday, and we had a two hour delay.

At any rate, i am hoping for another delay *crosses fingers.

let it