So I thought to myself, why doesn't everyone just get along? Then I realized, that's right, we are all just human .

 

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:: 2004 20 June :: 12.00 am

Have you ever suddenly realized something that seems so simple, yet in that moment so perplexing?

I've come to the conclusion that age is ageless. It seems to me that too many people base their authority on their age. Which is very baffling for the following reasons..

They automatically assume that anyone that is younger than they are, have no knowledge of the world— to the contrary. I was having a conversation with a man sometime ago about vacations he went on. When he talked to me he spoke to me on a level of "I am above you because I am older." Or at least that is the impression that I got from the conversation. The most ironic thing was the fact that I had been to many of the same places that this man had, yet he literally refused to let me talk about my experience. It was almost as if my "wisdom" didn't count for anything, because...well I am a yung'un, and to him my knowledge was nothing more than babble from a mouthy teenager trying to be a know-it-all.

Age and worldly experience at times do not correlate, but at others they do not. I know many people who are well into their years that have never left their hometown. So, when they speak on matters pertaining to the “outside world” many times their “wisdom” is erroneous and prejudice. Erroneous because they have not themselves experienced it, or they are basing their judgments on past experiences that are no longer viable.

Sometimes older people look upon younger people as sweet and innocent. This also pertains to youth as being witless and unlearned. They look at you as an angel that can do no wrong, an angel that has never been exposed to the utter evils of the world, and to say the word damn (unless preceded by beaver) is to spoil the virginity of young ears. Come on people. Look at the day in age we live in. I’m not one to go out and cuss my head off, but I am not going to deny that I probably know the full Vocabulary of Profanity and Perversion like the back of my hand if asked to recite it.

But also there are those that believe that all teenagers are miscreants that should be treated as nothing less. What a typical stereotype. Not every teenager is a drug addict, alcoholic, sex fiend, party going, school-skipping vandal. I know that it seems many teenagers are, but many aren’t. I know many many people my age that have never had a boyfriend, never smoked a cigarette, and have never been drunk. Someone may do something stupid once, but that doesn’t mean that their whole life will be a failure from that point on. People learn from their mistakes, and also learn from the mistakes of others.

Also many adults are utterly amazed when a teenager knows something that they don’t. I am not trying to brag, but I know quite a lot about Botany and different plants and trees. Last year when I was on a nature hike at a state park the guide was naming different flowers and asked the group if anyone knew the name of this plant (she pointed to it) I spoke up and said “Wood Sorrel” she turned her head as if in awe and asked me how I knew that, “I read books.” Seriously, reading books has widened my horizons far more than any teacher ever has or ever will. Fortunately, I learned that books are incredible learning tools at a young age. Before I entered kindergarten I had learned more than 50 scientific names of dinosaurs, while many of my to-be classmates didn’t even know how to spell their name. Books are power.

Having “authority” isn’t a right; it is a privilege that is gained by acceptance. At my high school there are very few teachers that I admire and respect. This partially comes from the fact that “adults” (in quotations because I will legally be an adult soon) often pretend to be on a superior level. As if they are some kind of god or goddess that is beyond our feeble understand. Many teachers at my school are like this, they talk in loud voices (as if we are all deaf [some of us are..]) and use very long words that no one understands. I do not understand why teachers do this. They were in our shoes once, sitting in a desk, staring blankly and wondering “Why am I here?” When they “get old” did their memory fade, or did they chose to “grow up” and purposely forget that they were once 17 years old.

Yet, to add to all this negativity there are many that break the barriers of age. One of these is my grandfather that is now passed on. My grandfather never treated me any differently than anyone else. He used the same smile with me, the same tone of voice, even the same language (that was sometimes a bad thing…) but he never became a different person around me just because I was 50 some years younger than him. He would share his wisdom with me, but never did he relish in it. He shared his wisdom to further my knowledge. So in turn he would sit and listen to my stories and many childhood adventures. He would listen intently and I could tell by the glint in his eye, that he was reliving his childhood through me. By my storytelling I was giving my grandfather a piece of experience that he long ago may have forgotten— together we experienced each other’s live, and together we grew, if not in age in spirit. My grandpa taught me that to be wise is not to be old— it is to have lived.

Now on the verge of being an adult myself I know that life is ageless. I am still mortally afraid of becoming a grandparent (yes i know that is quite some time from now) but I am not looking forward to wrinkled skin, bedpans, and memory loss. But i hope and pray that I can be a grandmother somewhat like my grandfather was to me. And perhaps I will have a grandchild that brings me as much delight as I brought to my grandfather.

We are all children in God's eyes, not matter how small, tall, young or old we are. We are His children. We are all the same.


My body may wrinkle, my mind may dwindle, but my spirit will always rekindle.

1 blow | let it


:: 2004 15 June :: 1.38 am

"I wish it need not happen in my time," said Frodo.

"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is give us."

This quote from The Fellowship of the Ring (book) is very true to life. More often than not we deal with bad situations by wishing that they would never have happened. So instead of dealing with the situation we try to pretend it didn't happen. The greatest mistake a person can make in life is wasting their time "wishing" that "something" hadn't happened to them.

Deal with it. I have.

I am not going to get my hopes up, but hope only for the best and when need be, expect the worst.

let it


:: 2004 13 June :: 10.39 pm

"Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be so eager to deal out death in judgement."

let it


:: 2004 12 June :: 10.52 pm

Summer vacation had been unproductive so far. Or at least in my mind it has. I have had a lot of fun, but i like to be productive too. The rain has hindered my ativities somewhat these last few days (gardening, and bike riding) and many other around the house things.

Sharon is gone until the 21st, so i am very anti-social at the moment. I actually think that her absense will give me time to catch up with other friends that i have neglected. which reminds me...

Yes, and i have realized how insanely old i am getting...18. I really don't want to be that old, i mean i will never grow up. I am still nothing more than a kid now, but it just puts everything in perspective. My life has been flying by and will continue to do so.

I wish it wouldn't.

let it


:: 2004 8 June :: 2.41 pm

Catch me like a falling star
a rat's match like ailing fame
frame in arts game
rename it
kill it


let it

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