kind of like this.

kind of like this.

:: 2004 22 November :: 8.08pm

ok, so i was getting good at this updating thing...

life has been busy lately...all i do is sleep, work and school, but its ok, being busy helps time to go quickly, which has its pros and cons...but mostly pros..

Thanksgivign is rapidly coming...im happy..and really nervous at the same time. i hate holidays without Beranrd..it's still so weird to picture him not being there, i mean, he was always there...good old Bernard...he never failed, and now...theres just an empty spot, i walk into the house, i look towards his chair, and he's not there...so the first ten seconds of the visit is a sad, heart wrenching one, and then its ok...it's those first 10 seconds i dread...

i called grandma and grandpa saturday, i miss them a lot, i spent the ten minutes afterwards just crying in my room..that was a highly emotional day, i cried three times for no reason...once because i thought about Thanksgiving, once because i missed my grandparents, and the third time is not one that will be mentioned. looking back, i feel like a big dork for crying, but i just miss them a lot...they need to come home, or i need to go down there...i just want to see them

school has been going on steadily...calculus is impossible, hover had a baby so physics is a joke, govt still needs to die, AP got somewhat interesting, and i paint happy trees in art. oh the live long day

work has been going the same...im meshing well with the other workers so time goes by a little more quickly...im allowed to have more fun now

we've been hanging out a lot more with kayln lately...shes a fun gal, someone new, fun to talk to though...shes says a lot of the right things...aka...nevermind lol

signing up for orchestra was actually signing up for my death

band hasnt been too bad, the two songs i have solos in are easy and make me happy

im starting to lose myself again...after i told myself i wouldnt..but i think im ok with it...

thats it

let it

shiznit05

:: 2004 22 November :: 8.05pm

This song was on the radio last night on my drive home...it made me smile...a lot... :)

Oh yeah, I'll tell you something,
I think you'll understand.
When I'll say that something
I want to hold your hand,
I want to hold your hand,
I want to hold your hand.

Oh please, say to me
You'll let me be your man
And please, say to me
You'll let me hold your hand.
Now let me hold your hand,
I want to hold your hand.

And when I touch you I feel happy inside.
It's such a feeling that my love
I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide.

Yeah, you've got that something,
I think you'll understand.
When I'll say that something
I want to hold your hand,
I want to hold your hand,
I want to hold your hand.

And when I touch you I feel happy inside.
It's such a feeling that my love
I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide.

Yeh, you've got that something,
I think you'll understand.
When I'll feel that something
I want to hold your hand,
I want to hold your hand,
I want to hold your hand.

let it

shiznit05

:: 2004 16 November :: 9.49pm

1) time: 8:57pm, Nov. 16
2) name: Brittany
3) Nicknames: Britt�.Timbah! � dougs the only one who uses that one though�Jamers calls me b-dawg or b-dizzle
4) Name Spelled Backwards: ynattirb�haha that brings back some good track memories�
5) home town: Custar!
6) Grade: 12
7) Birthday: 10/23/86
8) Age: 18
9) School: BGHS
10) Hair Color: brown, with some natural highlight things..
11) Eyes: Blue
12) Height: 5'8.5"
13) Siblings: 1 Brother
14) Gender: female
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Have You ever?- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
15) Been so drunk you blacked out: nope
16) Missed school because it was raining: I don�t think so�
17) Set any part of your body on fire for amusement: haha no
18) Kept a secret from everyone: I did�I kept it secret for awhile too
19) Had an imaginary friend: nope
20) Wanted to hook up with a friend: well its better than hooking up with someone you didn�t like�
21) Cried during a flick: yea..not for a long time though
where's 22 ?
23) Ever thought an animated character is hot: gambit!
24) Ever prank called someone: do yo guys remember that one time�the one with wok kitchen?? That was a good one
25) Been on stage: go band!
26) Fought with your parents: ive given them the silent treatment
27: Wished upon a star: yea, but I never expect anything from it
28) Laughed until you cried: haha try like every girls night ever
29) Watched a sunrise/sunset: yup
30) Went to a beach at night: yea�I miss it
31) Been mean: sure have
32) Been sarcastic: not at all!
33) Are you happy: I think so
34) Are you talking to someone online: yup
Favorites----------------------------------------------------
35) Shampoo: I don�t remember the brand but it was raspberry almond and it made my hair so soft!!
36) Soap: bath and body works country apple�mm�
37) Colors: green!
38) Day/Night: night
39) Kinda Music: any song that enables you to really feel the emotion�its insane how moving it can be
40) Fav. Soda: vernors!
41) Fav. Drink: cranberry juice J
42) Fav. Car: oh man�I don�t think I could narrow it down
43) Fav. Perfume or Cologne?: the stuff that sara calls my football game smell..i wore it all last season, but I don�t know the name�lol
44) Fav. Radio Station: ooo�98.1, 96.7, 106.5, 93.5�im a flipper�lol
45) Fav. Website: beinggirl.com�its hilarious! Its not really my favorite though..
46) Fav. Subject in school: hmm�math
47) Least Fav. Subject in School: physics....GOVT!
48) Fav. Sport: football
49) Fav. Video Game: Final Fantasy 4 (it�s the only one ive beaten) and Super Mario Bros 3 J
50) Fav. Band: cake..or weezer..mmm
51) Fav. Food: spaghetti�anyone can make it
52) Fav. Movies: feel good movies
53) Fav. Place: Niagara
54) Fav. Holiday: Christmas!
55) Lace or Satin: satin I guess
56) Fav. Place to Chill: megans house haha
57) Fav. Ice Cream: Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey�no on else likes it!
58) Fav. Cartoon Character: gambit! haha
-----------------------------------Friends&Crushes-------------------------
59) Have a gf or bf: nope
60) Loved Anyone: I don�t think so
61) Who's the Loudest: well megan laughs loudly�stevie squeals loudly�Id have to say doug haha
62) Shyest: sara
63) Nicest: Megan
64) Funniest: pssh. That�s all me, nah�we�ve all got our moments
65) Craziest: again�we all have our moments
66) Who do you go to for advice: it depends�I go to megan for the everything will be ok speech�I go to ian for the harsh truth that needs to be sad�sara for the comments that don�t solve anything but make me smile�stevie for the quote�Daniel to tell me im just being dumb�adam for a conversation to actually work things out�hodges for the nice comments that make everything seem ok
67) Who do you cry with: sara�.megan�stevie�the girls
68) Which friend lives the farthest from you: dani! Stupid Lancaster being 2 hours away
69) Talked to someone you have a crush on: yea�
70) Missed someone: all the time
71) Hugged someone you like: well, I don�t hug people I don�t like
----------------------------------------------Believe In----------------------
73) God/Devil: yes sir
74) Love at first site: not really�but it�s a nice though
75) The Big Bang Theory: yea..no
76) Heaven/Hell: uh huh
-------------------------------------Misc.-----------------------------------
77) Who named you: the parentals
78) When was the last time you showered: about 20 minutes ago�
79) What is right next to you: the files containing my college apps that need finished and sent out�
80) What are the last 4 digits of your phone number: 3739
81) What is your computer desk made out of: partical board�and covering that makes it look like gorgeous wood!
82) What was the last thing you ate: PBJ J
83) Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with: someone who makes me completely happy and is completely happy with me
84) How many buddies do you have on your list: 132
85) Hows the weather right now: dark�cold�gloomy
86) What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten: fried worms�in 6th grade�the boys didn�t think id do it
87) How do you eat oreo's: open mouth�insert oreo�.chew and swallow
88) Are you too shy to ask a girl/guy out: yup
89) If you could change your name, what would it be?: not timber
90) What will your first son's name be: Eric�.Andrew�.idk�I think ive got awhile to think about thi
91) What would your daughters name be: Molly�I don�t know why I like that name so much lol
92) Do you like scary or happy movies: both
93) Do you like talking to people on the phone or in person: both�
94) Lust or Love: both�haha
95) Do you consider cheerleading a sport: umm�maybe if they compete�MAYBE, if not they�re just glorified pom pom shakers
96) Boxers or Briefs: don�t boys answer this question?
97) Bacon bits or Croutons: croutons
98) How long can you hold your breath: I guess until I pass out and start breathing again
99) Waiting till marriage: I used to think so�I don�t really know
100) Disney World or Disney Land: ive never been! But I guess the world
101) Do you do drugs: nope
102) Have you ever been skinny dipping: yup
103) Do you make fun of people: uh huh..its pretty bad sometimes
104) Have you ever been convicted of a crime: nopt
105) One pillow or two: ummm 4 haha
106) Pets: 3 cats and a dog
107) Piercings or Tattoo's: I have 8 holes
108) What's your bedtime: when staying up no longer has any appeal
109) Adidas, Nike, or Reebok: I guess adidas�I love my asics throwing shoes though..
110) Most embarassing moment: oh geez�
111) Do you attend church regularly: I used to..then I got a job, but I go when I can
112) What do you look for in the oppisite sex: kind, funny, taller than me is nice but not necessary I guess, fun loving, athletic, healthy, intelligent�basically mr right haha
113) Fav. Quote: "you run because you can�we throw because you cant"
114) Can you swim: yup
115) Do you like to swim: yup
116) Do you have an accent: I don�t notice it unless im with dani bill and robin
117) Do you have a job: yup
118) Do you prefer pools or oceans: pool�ocean water is too salty
120) What's better boys or girls: im thinking�boys�girls are dumb
121) Do you sing in the shower: haha yea
122) Who's the best looking person: george clooney makes me happy�
123) The best way to die: peacefully? lol
124) When do you want to die: well since I don�t really have a choice, I guess I don�t care
125) Have you ever called a 900 number: nope
126) Gold or Silver: gold�white gold�
127) Would you ever go bungee jumping: yes
128) Would you rather be short, tall, or semi-tall: semi-tall
129) Do you enjoy reading: yep
130) Which Winnie the Pooh character is your fav: eeyore
131) What was the last movie you watched: American beauty
132) Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: no�I was given one to sleep with for my 17th birthday�yea I don�t sleep with it
133) Do you think your attractive: ummm vain?
134) What is your sign: Scorpio and sometimes Libra
135) What are your personality traits: umm vain?
136) What is your biggest fear: being alone and then having a fit that goes too far
137) What movie do you really wanna see: I really wanna see closer
138) Who is the least attrative person you know: that�s mean
139) Optimist or Pessimist: optimist�.but still a realist�with a side of being a pessimist when it comes to a few things/people
140) Would you ever have cosmetic surgery: nah
141) Do you like to dance: sure
142) What do you think of people who drink: as long as they�re smart about it
143) People who do drugs: it takes them down a few notches
144) Better to cry or laugh: I think they both can be necessary
145) Do you think men and women can ever be just friends: yes
146) Do you bite your nails: sometimes�its not a habit though
147) What's your worst habit: cracking my knuckles and shoulders
148) Did you ever cry over someone of the opposite sex: yes�fucker
149) Who in your life is your biggest role model: hmm�
150) Who was your first crush: Sid�haha man, those were the days
151) Who makes fun of you the most: probably Daniel�or ian�or adam�
152) your best friend: sara or megan
153) Do you want your friends to do this quiz: if they want to..
154) How much time did you spend on this quiz: 44 minutes�while talking to Daniel�and watching sex and the city�not bad

let it

shiznit05

:: 2004 13 November :: 11.24am
:: Mood: sleepy

yesterday was pretty good...yay for not having school!

the morning was a pretty laid back one, i watched dawson's creek :) im such a goob, but it was fun, i had already seen the episodes, but its just like friends, you're able to rewatch them over and over, then after that i had to run into BG to the alumni building to drop off my scholarship stuff for them so they can give me thousands of dollars ;) came home and bummed around some more and made plans with kayln to meet at her house and then head over the the Christmas tree lighting...it makes me sad that they're lighting the tree already, but it was still very nice, i picked dainel up and brought him along also, ironically, we listened to some carols and then met up with megan and hodges and headed to video spectrum to pick out a movie, we got american beauty, i was the only one who had seen it, and i think its an awesome movie, so we decided on it, then headed back to megans to watch it...herringshaw stevie and sara met up with us also, we watched the movie until 10ish then just sat aorund and chatted until 12...it was lots of fun, i took daniel home and then got home around 1230 and the stars were AMAZING! i stayed outside for like 20 minutes just starring...its so hard to believe that some people dont have the ability to just look up and see them like i do...i would never survive in a big city where i couldnt look up and see thousands of stars...

today i have to work for 5.5 hours...boo...i hope amanda or ashley are working...they seemt o make the time go that much faster while im there....after work...idk whats up...no one tells me anything anymore! lol

otsego lost last night in overtime...sucks a lot, but they played really well this year, and hopefully next year will be just as great for them :)

thats it...im doing better at this updating thing!

1 blow | let it

shiznit05

:: 2004 12 November :: 10.30am

ok, im getting better at this updating thing...not a lot better, but its been less than three weeks since my last update... :)

we started sitdown band, its not so bad, the pieces have been fairly easy so far, and the solos arent bad, plus ive got sara right there, and that makes the period go a little faster

we threw a few times after school this week, it makes me remember how much i really dont like discus...its sad really, i feel like ive been stuck in this rut for the past 2 years, i can't break my pr, its horrible

work has been going by steadily, its not bad, the cashiers are entertaining which is a plus, and i like most of my coworkers...so all is well in that department

college stuff has been going on all around me, i have to go today to turn in my scholarship stuff for BG, yet another chance of a full ride with them, that will be my second full ride if i get it...im sweet like that

i joined the orchestra this week for their holiday concert, i dont know why, i think i just got myself into a lot of trouble, but it'll be interesting, and most definitely stressful, but its another thing to keep me busy, thats really the only thing thats been keeping me going lately, all the things i need to do

last night sara gave me a call after she had finished shopping with her mom and she wanted to hang out, so i headed over to her house, sat around for a bit, then went to kroger to get paid, then to megans...the three of us are the biggest rejects ever, it felt very much like old times where we would just sit around, chat, and laugh uncontrollably over things that arent really all that funny, it was really really nice though, it felt nice. i havent acted that way with anyone lately, and ive missed it.

i think im starting to get myself into trouble though...this new crush has popped up, and its not good...i shouldnt have it, sara says its ok, megan says its ok..but not, so idk, i mean, i do like him, but i know i shouldnt, but its hard because when i talk to him its just nice, and i smile a lot when im around him, and i havent smiled a lot around anyone for a long long time. i'm still really weary about getting close to anyone, i just dont know what to do really, i wanted for so long to just not care about anyone and imm starting to screw myself over

i had an attack the other night, for no reason whatsoever, it only lasted like 10 minutes, and it wasnt really a bad one, but these things are starting to piss me off, i was doing really well for 2 years and now they're popping up all over the God damned place...its really starting to piss me off a lot

the other night felt a lot like it used to...i was online chatting with ian, actually having a conversation with megan, making fun of people with daniel, helping hodges out, and giving advice to someone else...i felt necessary again, it was nice

i think thats it...everyone enjoy your day off!:)

1 blow | let it