bored as fuck
..i talked online for basically the whole fuckin nite..lol no where to go..every1 was busy :-\...i talked to gui forever...lol gui ur the coolest! lol gotta love him..then i talked to orlando about a lot of stuff.. then i got the IM from meggy..freakin out over the broken mirror thing...lol its okay u guys i love u..u wont die lol...

tomaro i get my hair cut a lil..then doin nothin once again lol..this vacation..i have a feelin that its prolly gunna be madd boring :-\ im gunna go insane bein home with mark this whole week..ohh godd fun fun...lol

well im so bored..im gunna go finish talkin to gui lol byebyez

-emmy-

..today sum1 i still care for was told sumthing that i wanted him to know...but didnt kno how to say it..now that he knows i dont know what to say to him :-\...

i cant stop thinking about everything thats happend lately...everything is fucked up..i donno wat to do..my friends are goin thru so much shit i dont kno how to make them happy anymore...i love them and i hope they know that, and dont ever forget that, please...i dont kno what to do anymore...so many ppl got so many problems now..

<3 - i miss all my friends..and sumtimes i just wish i was sitting in kennedy again just laughin and smiling...and being so happy around my friends that ive known forever..i miss u guys sooo much u have no idea...i still cry myself to sleep sumtimes just thinking about how things used to be...how i would sit in homeroom with kelsey val jena and cassie..then go to class with every1..and always be laughin, bein happy with every1 that would be happy with me...high school is so different then middle school..and im still not used to it..i want to be in 8th grade again..i would do anything to be back there with every1..including ana prida and joe and chris..and bj..all of us together again :-) the good times..i love u and miss u

..i feel bad wen i tell my friends my problems cuz i feel like they arent listenin cuz they have really confusing lives to..and i repsect that..

..please don't forget me... or leave me

-emily

:-(

dont leave
went to the game tonite..wow DRAMA mann....talk to umm people...((no comment on who)) shit is fucked up....

..please dont ever leave me..u have no idea how much u mean to me...i love you!

:-\ tomaros there another game..and imma go to that one too..and maybe things will get better...? prolly not tho with my luck

rebecca i got ur back- dont worry ;-)

helena i love u...only u kno how much i love certain ppl :-)

lol GUI IS THE COOLEST haha gotta love it!

well im out :-\ bye i love you all

:-/ -emily- :-/

Whoa oh oh
Ooh hooh
No No No


See i dont, know why, i liked you so much
I gave you all, of my trust
I told you, i loved you, now thats all down the drain
Ya put me through pain, i wanna let u know that i feel


Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses, it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back
Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back


You thought, you could
Keep this shit from me, yeah
Ya burnt bitch, i heard the story
Ya played me, ya even gave him head
Now ya askin for me back
Ya just another hag, look elsewhere
Cuz ya done with me

Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back
Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back

Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah

Ya questioned, did i care
You could ask anyone, i even said
Ya were my great one
Now its, over, but i truly mean im sad
It hurt real bad, i cant sweat that, cuz i loved a hoe

Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back

Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah


~Why Does It Hurt So Bad?¿?~
~I Shouldn't Care - But I do~
~I Love You - No Matter What~

just got back from gay ccd...we had a fuckin group discussion on like..sex,dating,and shit like that..perfect timing..? i guess
they had us check off wat qualities we wanted in a relationship..umm TRUST and RESPECT((for me at least))

*if i dont trust u then its over...if i trust u, and u hurt me ill never forgive u*
maybe ill forgive..never forget :-\
it takes a lot for me to trust a guy..after the shit ive been thru in my life with guys..((abused and used))

-You just take that fear,
Turn it into your strengh
It's called life,
And thats why we're here-
<[{quote of the day}]>


I Love All My Friends <3 you all kno who u are <3

im gunna go eat sum cereal..lol my favorite food

-emily-

gettin ready..
im gettin ready to go to the Wrestling Meet with Nicole :-) i wanna go sooo bad cuz i need to see kelsey really bad..and i get to be with all my old friends :) ahh im so excited lol

well last nite was wierd..but dont wanna talk about it here...Kelsey I Love You..((helena and sammi too))
*things will happen in ur life that u can't stop - but that ain't no reason to give up*

..old memories are starting to come back to me..and i am remembering wat i had...and wat i lost..i miss...a lot.. :-\

well i gtg finish my make-up...i have to remember to bring my lil bear hat so martin will be happy haha...byebyez

-emmy-

messed man
hmm...cant sleep..gotta go to my orthodontisit appointment soon...

last nite was fun chillin with bobby helena josue and sammi :-)

then gui and gerry stopped by for a lil...gui was like dead tired...ya we all just chilled..i guess :-/ ...
i love helena and kelsey and sammi..and bobby and josue lol

guys can really take advantage of girls when they think that they are "close"-helena-

im out
-emily-

schools out
*heyy...we got out of school early today cuz of all the snow..how nice is that mann lol*

sittin here..doin nothin..watchin Mighty Ducks with my brother haha

my mom said that i mite not be able to do nething tonite or w\e cuz she doesnt wanna drive in this weather...baa fuck her that makes me mad..shes taking away my freedom lol..i wanted to go to helenas but i donno if thats happenin anymore..

HELENA GET WELL SOON lol u cant leave me at school ever again!!

la la la la
havent written in here for awhile mann..

hmm...this has been a good week lol..sum of u should kno why ;-)..

so today i stayed after for a lil bit to chill with gerry and gui...funfun :-)

HELENA I LOVE YOU haha

hehe well im out :-)

i love you!
-emmy-

miss ya *KMS*8th Grade
..damn i think im bi-polar or sum shit mann...i can be so happy one second then the next im so sad...i was talkin to cassie demasi about how i miss ppl and stuff and i got all sad...

Sexydominichik: lol in 8th grade they said i looked like her wen i had my blue hat on
BiggEmm15: yeaa i remember that!! haha at the hoopla u did!
Sexydominichik: lol ya ahha
Sexydominichik: i cant believe u memba that lol
BiggEmm15: haha of course i do..i remember everything from last year haha
Sexydominichik: lol
BiggEmm15: :)
Sexydominichik: i luvu emily
Sexydominichik: ur tha best!
BiggEmm15: aww lol
BiggEmm15: i love you cassie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sexydominichik: ty!
BiggEmm15: :-* MWAZ lol
Sexydominichik: MMMMMMMMMMMMWWWWWA :-*
BiggEmm15: haha
BiggEmm15: aw i miss last year and how i had homeroom with u and val and i would see every1 all day long
Sexydominichik: yaa i luved that
Sexydominichik: N i miss it more then nething
BiggEmm15: yeaa i miss everything about 8th grade...every little thing
Sexydominichik: its like no matter wut
Sexydominichik: we always saw eachother
Sexydominichik: but at tha highschool
Sexydominichik: its like ur alone
BiggEmm15: yea :-\ and i only get to see u guys if im lucky enough
BiggEmm15: u milky and val i miss u guys SO muchi still have that picture of us and sherrin on the cruise..its in a frame on my dresser so i see it everyday..and i feel like crying
Sexydominichik: :-\
Sexydominichik: i jus wish u never went to keefe
BiggEmm15: :'( im sorry
Sexydominichik: no dont say sry
BiggEmm15: but everyday i think " wat if i didnt come here...what would be different"-everything would....i would still have all my friends from natick....i would see every1 everyday and not cry almost all the time cuz i miss every1 so much
Sexydominichik: seriously sumtimes i wish i could see u wlkin tha halls at tha high school
BiggEmm15: :'(
Sexydominichik: :'(
BiggEmm15: things are so different now...its all fucked up..and its all becuz i went to keefe
Sexydominichik: would u ever consider coming to NHS?
BiggEmm15: i donno i sumtimes think about it...but like it never really goes any farther then thinking
Sexydominichik: ugh come on emmy
Sexydominichik: !
BiggEmm15: i kno i kno...liek every1 is tellin me they miss me so much and shit is so much different now that im gone and stuff...but like leaving keefe...would make shit so much different for me...and my friends there..i love em' all
Sexydominichik: but U KNO! that u always see em
Sexydominichik: especially at the mall u mall rat lol
BiggEmm15: haha yess i kno
Sexydominichik: its like keefe galore over there
BiggEmm15: haha yea it is
BiggEmm15: but i like goin to keefe..if i leave it would be so wierd for me
Sexydominichik: bah
BiggEmm15: i just wish we all could be together at kennedy again in 8th grade
Sexydominichik: i kno
BiggEmm15: :'( :-\
Sexydominichik: my god i hate losin friends
BiggEmm15: yea me too..ive lost so many over this year ppl just like..forget about me up until they see me they are like oh hey i remember u...its like i left and there are ppl out there that really dont care
Sexydominichik: :-(
Sexydominichik: i would never 4 get u thats 4 sure
BiggEmm15: thanks...i would never forget u either cassie ur one of my best friends i love u
Sexydominichik: ily u too alweayz!!

^^ cassie i love you so much ive known u for so long and we've been best friends since forever..i miss u babez...love ya<3

la de da de da
*-*today i got woken up at fuckin 9:45 to get ready for church or w\e for stupid ccd...that shit was fuckin boring..but hey i got to see rebecca so it was all good lol...then i went to plaster fun time to get an application :-)....

..chilled with kelsey at the mall for a few hours..lol yes i went to the mall again..but this time i actually bought stuff!!! haha well i was in the middle of rave and i was like omfg i didnt bring my money...lol and kelsey was like omg ur so dumb so i called me mom and she said i was a stupid blonde..and brought me my money hehehe..lol yea after that i spent all of it except $1.00 lol yea at least im not kelsey who buys a $20 jacket...wears it around the mall..then returns it cuz she says she wants the money back so she can by a new purse and a "creamsicle" color shirt..lol ((cough cough fag)) haha i love u kelshey!

..yea so this whole superbowl thing..lol yea i could really care less but hey *GO PATS* <

..ugh tomaro i have to swim in gym..how gay is that..ahh i have to be icky all day long :-\ jessy told me that i have to go to the keefe game tomaro to see her..lol but i donno i mite i mite not...if i do its to see jessy lol ((she thinks that)) lol luv u jess!
BiggEmm15: hmm..maybe i will
midget8149: hmm yes yes you will

well im out..byebyez

*-*emilina*-*

:-\
Forget his name,
Forget his face,
Forget his kiss,
His warm embrace.
Forget the love that you once knew,
Remember he has someone new.
Forget him when he played your song,
Remember you cried all night long.
Forget how close you once were,
Remember he has chosen her.
Forget you memerized his walk.
Forget the way he used to talk.
Forget the things he used to say.
Remember he has gone away.
Forget his laugh,
Forget his grin,
For the dimples on his chin.
Forget the way he held you tight,
Remember he's with her tonight.
Forget the time that went so fast,
Forget the love that moved; its past,
Remember he's gone forever. :(

i think ill be okay..

krazykelc1: AWWW
krazykelc1: emmy dont cry:-\
BiggEmm15: i cant help it kelsey
krazykelc1: actually cry...cuz u cant hold it in
BiggEmm15: haha
krazykelc1: holding it in is bad
krazykelc1: that causes more problems
BiggEmm15: exactly ur sooo rite
krazykelc1: yup
krazykelc1: cry ur eyes out until u cant cry no more and then u will feel better
krazykelc1: i do that all the time


^^ omg kelsey :( i love you!

i love you
wat a great way to end this week..yea rite its horrible...but i have all my friends who i love and are makin me smile so much..im so cheesed wen i talk to them lol...

krazykelc1: see emily so many ppl care about you you have so many great friends who dont want to see u sad and they will do anything to make sure u get through this ok

HateInYoEyes05: I hope you are ok, you'll find someone better, u deserve it

^^ thanks..lol but i think im good now

i love kelsey dunne with all my heart!!!

krazykelc1: :-)no problem, i just want u to know im always here for you and i really want to know that your ok i dont want to see u sad and if u r having a hard time please talk to me about it cuz i wanna help you with this cuz u have always helped me with my problems
BiggEmm15: i kno that ur here for me.and that makes me feel good that i have sum1 to talk to that ive known for a while and i trust..thanks
krazykelc1: no problem:) i owe it to you because you have always been there for me wen i need to talk too
BiggEmm15: and i will forever stay here for u..no matter wat..
BiggEmm15: i could be with the love of my life..and i could be like in the middle of fuckin him and if u were to call me and be upset i would be like HOLD UP ITS KELSEY MY LOVE I MUST TALK TO HER...lol and he would be like butbut- id be like DAMN PUT THAT SHIT AWAY AND LET ME TALK TO MY BEST FRIEND!
krazykelc1: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAH
krazykelc1: I LOVE YOU EMILY
krazykelc1: THATS SOOO NICE
BiggEmm15: haha :-D
krazykelc1: i would def. do the same!!! FRIENDS ALWAYS COME FIRST!!!:-Despecially ones that i have known forever like you and amanda n meg n katie
BiggEmm15: yeaaa im here for them too..i love you all SSOOOOO much you have no idea..wen im at school i always talk about u guys...lol **Chicks Before Dicks**
krazykelc1: hahaha i love that quote!!!
BiggEmm15: yupp me too
^^ i love you

krazykelc1: woah emily good thing ur single lol
krazykelc1: big pimpin
BiggEmm15: haha


^^ HAHAHAHA

tonite im goin to the basketball game and i think imma bring Nicole..and we are meetin Jessy there :) i havent seen jessy in madd long and same with nicole

im out..byes

-emmy-

i love friends

BiggEmm15: yea i officially hate those things that us girls go out with..yea um wat are they called..oh yes GUYS

krazykelc1: LOL i do too emily....espcially ones named ____ ____!!!!

BiggEmm15: lol or ______ _____

^^ you can guess who we are talking about

..im so sick of everything rite now...

:-( i hate crying!
..."wat i said dont mean shit now"...

helena i need u with me rite now so at least i can cry to sum1 that knows why i am upset and knows that w\e happens i will always cry about everything.. :'( you kno that i dont want anything to change between me and him..u are the only one rite now that is realizing that i really did like him but obviously that doesnt mean anything to him rite now.. :( im so new to all this shit and hes forgetting that...lol like u said u are used to it and kno how to deal with it..I DONT...

i dont even want to talk to anyone rite now..

bye
-emily-

school again
..once again im here in career exp. madd bored andim ssooo tired i think im gunna collapse in the hall in a few minutes..

..i just wanna go home and lay in my bed...and not talk to anyone..yea im in one of those moods that if sum1 talks to me im just gunna be a bitch to them.whether im mad at them or not.. im kinda pissed off rite now- but not sure why..i woke up and i was even mad then..

MADELYN IS THE BEST!! lol ((yea she rite here)) lol love ya madelyn

im out..bye

-emily

school
..you say i smile a lot..


...i say i cry a lot..




..behind my smile is [(everything)]..


..that you will [(never)]..


..understand...


:-/


-H!dD3n T3@Rz-

bored
..i dont wanna kno..if ur playin me-keep on the low..

..i love all my friends.. :-) lol random but u all need to kno it..

..in school rite now again.madd bored..yea i was upset last nite and earlier today..but w\e i dont care anymore..imsorry...

tonite i think im goin to NHS to watch serge! lol he asked me to go so i think i will..lol and i NEED to see katie!! i need to give her a BIG hug hehehe i love katie grace!! MWAZ!!

...aiight im out...

:'( ...hidden tearz... :'(

..sad time..once again..
..wow i need to get down to the bottom of all this shit..helena thank you for telling me...i kno u didnt want to but i would have told u if i found out sumthin about ur man..i love you..lol and katie grace i love youtoo..lol u kno wen u got true friends wen they can tell that sumthin is wrong..after like 1 minute of talking..
Qteekate 88: hey!!
BiggEmm15: hey
Qteekate 88: whats up
BiggEmm15: nothin..u
Qteekate 88: not much
BiggEmm15: funn
Qteekate 88: o yea
Qteekate 88: whats wrong?
BiggEmm15: wat do u mean
Qteekate 88: i donno u dont seem like emily
Qteekate 88: lol
BiggEmm15: lol thats wen i can tell that ur a good friend..lol u can tell wen sumthin is wrong
Qteekate 88: yep :-)
Qteekate 88: so tell me
^^ i love you so much

~-~behind every smile..there are hidden tearz~-~

..leave my love...please!

school
heyy..im in buisness rite now bored as hell..i got no friends in here..cept for madelyn...no helena or sammi or erica:(

tomaro i wanna go to the nhs game so i can watch serge lol and i gotta deal with sum shit there..friday there is a basketball game at keefe so imma prolly go to that so i can see my baby :-)
im so happy to be home..but at the same time shit is different and i was only gone for 5 days..damn thats messed up mann..

..yo helena if u are readin this u better be savin that shit for me girl!! u kno i gotta get that..haha last time was new years.. ;-) i love you helena!!!!..

..well time for more quizes...


You're a lollipop!! Your known for your coolness,
for you are a trend setter. You're a natural
leader, and are good under pressure. People
often seek you out for advice, for you have
great insight.


Which kind of candy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

^^^ haha thats sexxii

You got a ghetto booty. Every man wants this booty
on his girl. Not a man in the world can turn
down a ghetto booty.


What Type of Booty Do you have (For Girls)
brought to you by Quizilla

:-)
oh u kno it baby!! haha

..leave love!!!

..waddup...so tonite im goin to mandaz to see her and kelsey :) excited for that..havent chilled with them in madd long..i miss u guys!! lol rite now im on the computer and doin my hair and makeup at the same time..yea baby thats skill ;) lol

well im out..byebyez love yaz

IM HOME
IM HOME!!!!! :-D IM SOOOO HAPPY TO BE HERE lol

i got back last nite around midnight and i was so excited to come back...i had lots and lots of fun in vegas and everything..but like..i miss home a lot..especially the computer lol and helena and gerry and orlando and EVERYONE!!!

ahh i donno wat im doin tonite..helena just called from sammi's..i missed sammi too lol :)

i took TONS AND TONS of pictures wen i was away i cant wait to get them developed lol and then i can show everyone haha

well imma go be bored..lol byebyez

*-*emmy*-* leave some love!

las vegas baby!
..hmm leavin for new hampshire in like an hour or sumthin...weni get up there imma be so bored mann!! lol ill watch the fuckin snow fall..NO COMPUTER FOR A WHOLE FUCKIN WEEK MANN..god imma die..

..tonite im gunna be in the hot tub and imma call helena and be like hmm nice and warm and u guys are cold haha..then in las vegas i will do the same thing haha i love it!..

...well i gtg.. byebye everyone!! MISS YOU ALL!!!

**especially helena,gerry,and orlando!!!!!**

- love always -
.::.Emily.::.

baa!!!
..ahh this whole day is so fucked up!! the whole gerry thing..and then i wanted to do sumthin tonite with ppl but of course every1 has left me once again lol..so im stuck here tonite doing nothing...and i cant see orlando so ill prolly call him cuz i miss him already...ahh my last nite in natick and im home..doing nothing..of course this would happen to ME...

..this mornin..i cried of course..and i cried a few minutes ago again..cuz i get so fuckin fustrated that i cry..this mornin i was gettin fustrated cuz ppl were yelling at me about gerry...and saying shit about him that made me mad cuz like- hes one of my best friends now...and i hate wen my best friends from one town say shit about my best friend from another town..acting like they kno their whole life and they dont kno shit about him..and they think that they have the rite to say shit to me about him wen they dont!!!!!!!

....omg i fuckin hate this day i got woken up early and i could just tell from the second that i talked to gerry this mornin..that today was gunna be bad..and look its horrible..stood up for gerry..got bitched at..and cried cuz imma dumbass like that..figured out i wont be able to see any of my friends tonite once again and i have to sit home doing nothin..got mad again..then talked to helena about everything that ppl were sayin to me today..and thinkin about it made me cry again!! then she had to go cuz gerry was pickin her up..

..so i talked to orlando and lizzy which helped me feel better :-)... whatever im gunna go eat sum food..maybe that will make me happy :-\

~emily~

ergg
..hmm so yesterday there was no school, of course tho..that happend just to piss me off..but helena came over and we watched dazed and confused then we went and chilled with sum ppl...katie..u cant be scared of anyone...dont worry i always got ur back no matter wat!!! :-) gerry wont let anything happen to you..DONT let her tell u shit!

today i think imma chill with kate again and gerry ..maybe orlando too cuz i have to see him b4 i leave tomaro :-( tomaro im leavin around 2 i think for NH and stayin over nite there at the airport..then EARLY monday mornin im leavin for Las Vegas :-) im excited but im gunna miss ppl...but i will have my cell fone..so u can text me if u want..and i mite call sum ppl wen im in NH or like- in las veags..but only certain ppl..lol

..i started packin and stuff..but of course im not done yet, and im prolly gunna over pack as usual cuz i never kno wat i need...lol but the first thing imma do in NH or LV is go in the hot tub mann...lol ill be all nice and warm...lol and at the place we are stayin..its like a bunch of condos..and we own one so i can go to the spa..lol the nice hot sauna :-D sooo happy bout that!

..rite now im watchin Now and Then..lol good movie.. well im out..byebyez

*-/\-/\-*emmy*-/\-/\-*

..wow havent written in here in a while..every1 like my new journal?? lol THANK YOU KELSEY!!! lol we spent all afternoon makin our journals look all pretty..mine is CAREBEARS lol cuz i love them so damn much!! haha im still a lil kid at heart :)...

..its soooo cold out mann!!! tomaro is my last day at school b4 i go away :( ill miss everyone!! lol mostly helena and orlando lol but i will miss every1 else too dont worry...but its gunna be so cold tomaro and madd schools are closin cuz of that...thats crazzy mann i want school!!! lol me and helena are like the only ppl who want school :-\ there better be school cuz tomaro im stayin after school until like..345-400 with helena..and chillin with orlando there...then shes comin over my house :) yay! lol helena i partially cleaned my room for u..u better be happy!!!

well im out..byebyez

*-*-*emmy*-*-* leave love!

omg im so sick :(
..ahh i have no voice rite now..my throat is all dry and stings...i hate bein sick..and my mom said that this WHOLE weekend i cant do anything cuz she doesnt want me to be sick wen we go on vacation..erg..NO MALL AGAIN...im afraid imma get every1 sick ((orlando))... this weekend is gunna be madd boring..

..so tired rite now..and so drugged up on medz...i didnt kno u werent supposed to take all that medicine at once until helena nd orlando told me that..woopsies...my b..erg imma go talk to ppl then go to bed..hopefully ill get better soono... love yaz

..hey the bball boys for keefe..good luck tomaro..

*-*emmy*-* leave love!