...
Anyone know the last time I updated this thing??? Because, uh, I sure don't.

If you want my current journal, go to Livejournal and search for punk_rawker_x.

kthx.

I love you kids.

<3333

This is now my quiz journal.

Go here

You Can Sleep In Your Own Bed Tonight. I Hope For Your Sake That You Don't Wake Up As Broken As I Am.

Meet Kate. The girl who is grounded from the phone for a week, for getting a C in French, a class that doesn't matter. And for getting an A in everything else.

I really dislike my mother right now. I'm so glad Marisa and Chelsea are coming to get me. I don't wanna be in this house any longer.

I've gotta go.. they'll be here in five minutes.

Did You Think That I Was Gonna Give It Up To You This Time?

Well. I dunno. Tomorrow at like two, I be going over to Chel's, and spending the night, and then on Sunday we've got a church thing to do, so who knows when I'll be home. I have a new email address, though, so if you wanna get a hold of me, email me at [ Pois0n my Veins@aol.com ]

Yeah. I dunno what else to say. But, I love you Robbie, and if I don't get to talk to you before I leave, which I probably won't, then.. I love you. And if I don't get to talk to you before I get home on Sunday, then I'll talk to you later, mmk? Love you baby. xoxoxox

-Kate. <33

This song.. Is.. Amazing.

I know that life seems hard, cruel and unkind
A lonesome journey with questions in your mind
I'll hold your weary hand as you walk down the road
Remember you're never alone

Whenever you need somebody
Whenever you want someone
To reach out and touch you
With a love that is strong
Whenever you need somebody
Whenever you want a friend
To chase away the clouds and help the sun shine again
I will be that friend

If I could have one wish this I would pray
A heavenly miracle, your pain to drift away
So I'll keep on prayin' until that day comes
Remember that I'll be the one, the one.

Whenever you need somebody
Whenever you want someone
To reach out and touch you
With a love that is strong
Whenever you need somebody
Whenever you want a friend
To chase away the clouds and help the sun shine again
I will be that friend

I'll give you strength in times you're feeling weak
I'll give you hope and help you to believe
Yeah

Whenever you need somebody
Whenever you want someone
To reach out and touch you
With a love that is strong
Whenever you need somebody
Whenever you want a friend
To chase away the clouds and help the sun shine again
I will be that friend

Why Girls Like Guys..
1. They always find some sorta way to touch you. (I love that..)
2. When they send you e-mails starting with "hey sexy" or "whats up beautiful" (that too.. )
3. When they stick up for you if someone is talkin smack about you. (-nods- that too)
4. How they will stay on the phone for hours just to hear your voice. (I love that.. <3)
5. The way they pretend not to like us when in reality girls can ALWAYS tell.
6. How when you do find out they always act shy.
7. The way they TRY to whisper so you don't hear what they're saying.
8. How they can make you laugh even if ur really sad or depressed. (Yep)
9. How all ur problems seem to go away in their presence. (So true..)
10. The way you fall in love with them all over again when they smile. (That's so right.. )
11. The way they try not to be obvious when they are staring at ur a$$.
12. When they go the long way to class just so they can see you.
13. How they pretend they don't like N sync and Backstreet boys when we know deep down inside they wish they were adored by all the little girlies..
14. How they always know when theres something wrong. (And though sometimes it can get anooying, it's still nice.)
15. The way they act like they understand what ur going through when u have PMS
(They have NO idea)

Things That Guys Love About Girls
Here are a few reasons why guys like girls:
1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. The ease in which they fit into our arms
5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while
8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside
9. The way they look good no matter what they wear
10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth
11. How cute they are when they argue
12. The way her hand always finds yours
13. The way they smile
14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight
15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later....
16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them
17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you"
18. Actually ... just the way they kiss you...
19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry
20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt. (even though we don't admit it)!
23. The way they say "I miss you"
24. The way you miss them
25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore..... Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.



I love that.. it's so cute. -nods- I absolutely love it, whether it's true or not.

-thinks- Do you guys really love us for these reasons? 'Cause that would be... incredibly cute. <33333

I Found A Reason To Show, A Side Of Me You Didn't Know. A Reason For All That I Do, And The Reason Is You.
Well.. today was .. odd. People ticked me off way easier today (yes, it was easier than usual. -.-) , guidance counselor chicks came down from the highschool to talk to us about next year and crap, I wrote a song, and everything was cut short because of Activity Day, which I wasn't permitted to go to.

So, first block. Economics. >.< Took a test, then the chicks from the HS came down. Which cut into second block.

Second block was cut even shorter than it was supposed to be, because of the stupid chicks from the HS. So, we took a retarded vocabulary quiz, and a bunch of notes on Mass Media. Which is flocking stupid. And so we didn't have writing time. Which pissed me off. So, in order to rebel, I sat there while she was writing down notes and wrote in my notebook. That'll teach her. -nods-

RFA, I sat there basically. I had already finished my book, so I had nothing to read, and none of the books in the basket in the front of the room caught my attention. So yeah. I sat there.

Lunch, Robbie and his HR had a pizza party, so he wasn't there. And Nathan comes up and sits next to me with his pizza, and is all like "Yeah, Robbie went to Mr. Puryear's room because you're waiting til marriage, and he needs to jack off right now." or something of the sort, which put me in my mood. Then Chelsea was all complaining about not being able to go to the movies with Paige on Friday, and I told her to just be mature about it and all this junk, and she was like "Whatever, that doesn't work" and continued whining, which pissed me off, and inspired my song, which I wrote during algebra...

Algebra we took a quiz, which I know I aced, and worked on an Enrichment sheet. And then.. yeah.

Band, we went over At The Crossroads. It was cool. And Me, Chelsea, and Demi are all tied for first chair, so we have to do measures 5-21 in Soak Up The Sun. And the last measure of that piece, measure 20, happens to have the one note in the entire song, that I can't hit right off the bat. I have to go from a G above the staff to an A flat way above the staff, before I can hit the A flat. And in the song, I have to go from a B flat to an A flat way above the staff, and it isn't gonna happen. >.< I hope I get first chair... -whimpers-

Then.. the rest of fourth block, I got to sit in Mrs. Goodbar's room and do work, while almost everyone else was at Activity Day. It's only because of that stupid French teacher. DUDE, she even put on my report card 'Failed to do project'. So I'm gonna hear about that when mom sees it.

Yeah.. Robbie left early for a soccer game, so I didn't get to see him after activity whatever. And in HR we got our report cards. If I had done a bit better in French.. if I had gotten an A, I would have gotten the all A's award. -squirms in her seat- I HATE FRENCH CLASS.

And then, I came home, and did nothing, and then practiced my flute for about an hour, and right now, it's 7:16.. And it took me forever to write this, because I was practicing my flute in the middle of it.. and yeah. My lips are about to burst open, so I had to stop, and my wrists hurt like a mofo right now. But, hey! I got all of Star Wars down 99%, and I have National Emblem almost set. -does a dance- Oh, and I can get everything in the part for chair placements, except for that one note. >.< gah.

Anyways. I dunno. I think I'm gonna make a webpage with all of my bands listed on it, so people don't have to ask me what bands I like. -nods-, so, I be going for now.. Oh! And I paid for my journal. The $2 is in the mail right now.. -nods- It's concealed.. no one will know it's money. -nods- Mmhmm. I'm sneaky sneaky. -nods- Sneaky sneaky. -laughs- Sorry, kinda hyper, kids. Annnnd. I think I'm gonna get a new email address, so be ready for an update about that. Keep it tuned in here, kiddies. The latest news at ten. -nods- Thank you, and goodbye for now.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You're The One, Who's Making Me Crazy. I'm In Love But It's Only Temporary.
Mmk. New colors. They somewhat match my Benji and Tony icon. -nods- It's all good.

Yeah, I'm still listening to Sugarcult. Hehe. Now the CD has switched to "Bouncing Off The Walls" Good song. -nods-

-Yawns- I dunno. Not much happened in school today. First block was boring. I hate economics. The economy can burn in Hell for all I care. Then, second block we fought over those stupid test questions. Which gave me a headache. Just the nature of the stupidity made my head hurt, but it was amplified by me banging my head on the table. Third block.. Algebra. Stupid. Need I say more? N then.. Band. Band was pretty okay. Not too much went on. We read a piece that we're gonna do for the parade in DC. Yeah.. then we did some Black Forest Overture, and Soak Up The Sun. And my flute decided to start being a retard and a key was all sticking through Soak Up The Sun, which pissed me off.. Seriously. I was so ticked. Because I've worked on that song, and I couldn't play it, because my flute is all.. BLAH! Grr.

Haha. Chelsea and I have an awesome plan. Operation SMS. -nods- And NO you can't know what it is.

Hmm.. I want some chocolate. -smirks-

Pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything. Pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about. . .

Sugarcult rocks. I love them.

Hm, so Woohu is pay only now. I wonder what Andy's gonna do about the people who already have a journal here. -shrugs- Um. I'll finish updating in a bit. Right now I wanna go change these colors. I want pink! pink rocks. Pink is one of my new favorite colors. -nods- Mmk, bye for now.

Oh. My. Gosh.

I found him. Again. After last summer, I never thought I'd find him again. But. I started to miss him a bit, so I went to Mindsay, knowing that's where his journal was.. and I searched for him. And.. I found him. After eight months, I finally find him.. I haven't gotten the courage to IM him yet. I doubt he'd wanna talk to me. I doubt that he'd even remember me. Though, I do suppose that after the blowup we had last August, he couldn't forget me altogether. But, he probably has a girlfriend, and will want nothing to do with me. Gah.. My heart's beating out of my chest...

Haha, Dude. I was just rereading my previous entry.. And I realized that when I said "It's about this chick, who gets sent to this place, and they try to help her and stuff" that I sounded EXACTLY like Victor. LOL! -dies laughing- That's great stuff!

Twenty four hours on an empty brain, I got my finger on the trigger, and you're in my way.

Ah. I've fallen in love with Sugarcult. <33

So, yesterday, I went to Fredricksburg wif my mommy.. I spent eight hours, and about three hundred bucks there. Went to Hot Topic, Afterthoughts, Bath&Body Works, Waldenbooks, Sam Goody, Shoe Dept., Pac Sun, Claire's, and DEB.. Then, after the mall, we went to Target and Wal*Mart. Thenn, Taco Bell. -grins- ^.^

At Hot Topic, I got a Green Day shirt, an AFI shirt, and this spikey bracelet, and a Mest poster. Then mom got an OCC shirt. And then we went to Afterthoughts, but didn't get anything. We went to DEB, and mom got three shirts, and I got a pink Blink 182 shirt.. it says "Blink 182" on the front on the left side of the chest, and on the back it says "Blink 182" in biiig letters, and it has a rabbit on it. -nods- Yeah, super cool.. Ooh! And my Green Day shirt has a shamrock with a safety pin through it, and it says "Kiss me! I'm punk!". Hehe, it made me giggle in the middle of Hot Topic, so I was like "YEP, I'M GETTING THIS ONE!". So yeah.. Then, after DEB, we went... somewhere. Like.. Claire's or something. I didn't get anything there. We went to... Pac Sun, I didn't get anything there. We went to Shoe Dept., and I got a pair of black and red Vans, because mom was all like "You need new shoes!" and yeah. Then. I got a pretzel from Auntie Anne's, and went to Sam Goody. I got.. Four CDs.. Sugarcult, Smile Empty Soul, Hoobastank, and The Ataris. And I got two shirts.. Trapt and Brand New. Then, we went to Waldenbooks, and I got "Cut", which is about this chick who cuts herself, and she gets sent to this place where they try to help her and stuff. And yeah. And I also got "Guitar Girl", which is about this chick who becomes famous with her band and such. Then.. We went across the street to Target, where I got the Lost Prophets CD, and The Starting Line. And then, we went to Wal*Mart, where I got a pair of jeans, because, we all know that Wal*Mart clothes rock.. and yeah. That's it. Then we went to Taco Bell. Yum. <3 First time I've been there since I was like.. five. -nods- Yes, I know. Hm.. now.. I'm done for now. Gonna go do some other stuff.

LMAO!

Hahahaha. Pierre from Simple Plan is such an a**hole! -still cracking up- Dude, he called into TRL, and said that he couldn't stand being around the guys of Simple Plan anymore, and that they had broken up. And I started cracking up. Because it was obvious what he was doing.. So when a bunch of teenies called in all teary and stuff thirty minutes later, Peeair calls back in and the first thing he says is "HAHAHAHAHA."

Haha. Pierre is now 3634795643785645278 times cooler! I love him SOO much more now! hahahahahah

Meh..

Yeah, Andy. THANKS for the April Fools' joke. -.- Heh. It was so totally awesome, though. -thumbs up- Well.. Happy April Fools' to all you simple-minded idiots. And Happy Birthday to Erin L. and Panda. <33

Yeah. My birthday is tomorrow. Eh, am I supposed to care? The only thing I'm really looking forward to is a trip to Fredricksburg with about 100 dollars. -evil grin- I am so hitting up Pac Sun and DEB, dude. Annnd. Sam Goody, Hot Topic, Bath & Body Works.. yeah.. and WALDENBOOKS. Te he. Yeah.

I dunno.. update more later.





SMILE you simple-minded fools. I will soon put your pathetic lives to an end!

Well. Today was good, I guess. Not much happened. In POD we had a sub. That lady was insane. Mrs. Taylor. Completely crazy. We were sitting there, trying to do our economics worksheet, and she's all telling us the species of the birds that are poking around outside the classroom window. -Sighs- Then in English, we took the Gates-Maginnity test.. I missed four altogether. And Robbie missed three. >.< Pff, and he calls himself stupid. He may be lacking a bit of common sense, but that boy is smart. Heh. I love him.

Third block.. I did absolutely horrible on my Chapter 10 Midchapter test.. Got an 85. Ick. Thennnnnnn. Band we had to pick the color for the t-shirts this year.. We picked Madison blue. Eh.. better than tye-dye I suppose. But I wanted either black or red. >.< freakin' hillbillies. And yeah.. most of our class wasn't there, so we just read through Soak Up The Sun [the parade tune we'll be doing with MCHS band] with some of the highschoolers. We sounded pretty good, actually.. and chair placements have been moved to Friday, because most of our class was missing for either NHD, or a sport thing.. Sports suck. >.< Yeah.. so.. I'm bored. Later kids.

1) Using band names, spell out your name:

S - Simple Plan
T - Taking Back Sunday
A - AFI
C - Chevelle
Y - Yellowcard

K - KELLY FOUND PEACE!
A - Atreyu
T - Thousand Foot Krutch
E - Evanescence
L - Linkin Park
Y - Youngunz
N - New Found Glory



2) Have you ever had a song written about you?
Not a famous one. I don't think. No.

3) What song makes you cry?
"Hold On"- Good Charlotte ; "Mother's Prayer" -Mest

4) What song makes you happy?
"Moving On" -Good Charlotte ; "Rooftops" -Mest ; "Rawkfist" -TFK

5) What do you like to listen to before bed?
Whatever's in my stereo. Which, right now, happens to be TFK and Avril Lavigne

r i g h t n o w

WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: Trapt-"Still Frame"

WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: Diet Pepsi

WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: Wouldn't know. It's dark out.

HOW ARE YOU? Tired.

WHAT IS WRITTEN ON YOUR HAND IN PINK SHARPIE?: Blow me.

d o y o u

GET MOTION SICKNESS?: Not unless I'm trying to read while being in a car.

HAVE A BAD HABIT?: Calling everything a "faggot" or a "homo" -grins sheepishly-

GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: Hardly

LIKE TO DRIVE?: When my parents aren't home. -nods- Yes.

h a v e y o u

BROKEN THE LAW: Yeah. 'Cause I'm a bad girl.

RAN AWAY FROM HOME: No.

SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE: More than once.

EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: No. I barely like swimming with my swim suit on. Wading in that water with nothing on at all... that's just odd.

MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: Ha, yes. I once called this woman and asked her how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I acted like I was six... when I was actually like eight. I was a kick butt child.

EVER TIPPED OVER A PORTA-POTTY: No. That's just mean.

USED YOUR PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE: Naw. I don't trust myself with a credit card, no matter who owns it.

SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: -nods- I already told you. I'm a bad girl.

FALLEN ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: In the bath I have.

BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY: In like.. third grade. -sings- "Get up and grow, there's so much you can do. There's a great. big. wonderful world and it's waiting just for you!" -laughs-

LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: Yes. I'm always open for a friend.

r a n d o m

DO YOU HAVE A JOB: I will this summer. Working in Jersey. Yeah baby.

WHAT DOES YOUR CD PLAYER HAVE IN IT RIGHT NOW: Trapt - Trapt

IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?: Black.

HOW MANY SCARS DO YOU HAVE?: I have about eight or nine on my wrist/ underside of my forearm. Then I have some on my legs from gallavanting through the woods and briars as a youngin.

WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: Hmm. Maybe SoCo. Or TFK. Or... Mo' Money Mo' 40z by Mest. Yeah.. Or some Blink album. OR YELLOWCARD.

WHO DO YOU CONSIDER GOOD FRIENDS?: Jess, Robbie, Jared, Coleman, Ian, Josh, Chelsea.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?: Anything that has to do with music. -nods-

w h e n / w h a t w a s t h e l a s t

TIME YOU CRIED?: Yesterday

YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?: My birthday of last year.

YOU GOT E-MAIL: About 5 minutes ago. From Devyn.

THING YOU PURCHASED: Hm.. Probably a CD.

TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: Wow. I haven't watched TV in a while.

MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: Hidalgo. -nods-

Basics
Name::	Kate
Age::	14
Height::	5'2"
Hair Color::	Brown
Eye Color::	Blue
School Life
What's your school's mascot?:	Highschool mascot is.. a mountaineer.
School color(s)?:	Blue and white
G.P.A.?:	Hahahahaha.
Who is your favorite teacher?:	Mr. DeStefano.
What do they teach?:	PRINCIPLES OF DEMOCRACY!
Is this your favorite class?:	Yeah, besides band.
Internet
Do you use any instant messengers?:	Yep.
If so, which ones?:	I have AOL, then AIM, MSN, and Yahoo!
About how many hours a day do you spend online?:	Too many
Do you have a digital camera?:	Yeah
If so, do you post pictures of yourself online?:	I send them over IM sometimes..
Music
Do you play any instruments?:	Yeah
If so, what one(s)?:	Flute and guitar.
3 Favorite Genres Of Music::	Punk/Emo/Rock
3 Favorite Bands::	Mest/Good Charlotte/Simple Plan
Do you go to concerts and/or shows?:	I try..
What is the most you've ever spent on a concert/show?:	Eh, 150.
What is the least you've ever spent?:	150. ;)
Do you think buying merch at a concert then wearing it there is corny?:	No. Because I do it. lmao!
Do you listen to any bands that you'd be ashamed to admit to listening to?:	Nah.
Did you notice the grammatical error in question 29?:	no?
Word Association
Blue::	Sad
Camera::	Friends!
Boy::	Robbie. <3
Pretty::	Chelsea
Pants::	Bondage!
Music::	Life.
God::	Heaven.
Sweater::	ick.
Live Journal::	Sucks.
MTV::	Ehhhh.
Labels:
Do you think labels are dumb?:	Yep.
Why or why not?:	Because, it shouldn't matter what you are/aren't. Who cares if you're a "punk" or not? I don't.
What do people label you as?:	Punk. xD
How/Why did you get this label?:	Because, I dress in "punkish" clothes, and have an anarchist attitude.
Which Is Worse?
Physical Pain/Emotional Pain?:	Emotional.
Blink-182/Good Charlotte?:	Blink182
Being Deaf/Being Blind?:	Blind
Being Bored/Rushing around because you have too much to do?:	Rushing around
Losing your dominant leg/Losing your dominant arm?:	Leg
Love
Do you believe theres a difference between "love" and "in love"?:	Yep.
Is it better to have loved and lossed than to have never loved at all?:	Yeah
Are you romantic?:	Uh huh.
Are you in a relationship now?:	Sure am.
If so, for how long?:	Two months.
If not, how long have you been single?:	...
Are you a virgin?:	Yeah
What song describes your love life right now?:	"I'd Do Anything" - Simple Plan
Ranomosity
War: Good or Bad?:	Bad
What do you think of designer labels?:	Bleh.
Who's skankier: Britney Spears or Paris Hilton?:	paris.
What is it with guys and cars?:	NO idea.
Do you sing?:	Yeah. Doesn't mean I sing well. ;)
If so, what part (Soprano 1,Alto 2, et cetera)?:	....................................
Kiss or hug?:	Depends.
What color is your room?:	Purple
How old is your mom?:	Wow.. 49? I think.
Black and white or color photos?:	Colorrr!
Who cuts your hair?:	Lisa Dean. -nods-
What color is your toothbrush?:	Blue and white.
What color is your hair brush?:	Purple
What kind of hair products do you use?:	Shampoo. heh, that's it
Is K-Mart just the poor man's Wal-Mart?:	-Nods-
Are you sXe?:	I like to think of myself as straightXedge. -grins-
Are you sexy?:	I've heard that..
What color to people tells you looks nice on you?:	Cayla says red is "my" color.
What color do you think looks nice on you?:	BLACKKKKK.
Clothes shopping or grocery shopping?:	Clothes shopping.
Who do you sit with at lunch?
Do you like the sound of your own voice when you hear it played back?:	Nope.
Who has the nicest speaking voice that you know?:	Chelsea.
What is the website for one of your favorite bands?:	www.goodcharlotte.com
Do you prefer to date people younger, older, or the same age as you?:	Around the same age. Like.. a year older.
Do you listen to songs on repeat often?:	-nods-
Who was the last person you hung out with?:	DADDY!
What did you and that person do?:	We went out riding mules, man. Hardcore stuff. ;)
Do you use internet shorthand (i.e. "lol", "brb", "jk", et cetera)?:	I use those, yes. But I use correct grammar.
How often do you bathe?:	Everyday.
Are you a people-pleaser?:	Heck no.
Do you dye your hair regularly?:	Used to.
What about your eyebrows?:	Uh, don't dye them, if that's what you're asking.
Do you wear makeup?:	Black eyeliner.
If you answered "yes", to #96, are you female?:	Yeah.
Do you buy CDs edited or unedited?:	Depends on what the store has.
Can you beatbox?:	Heck no. But Joel can.
Does your mom like the song "Hey Ya" by OutKast?:	Nope.

100 Questions For Your Answering Pleasure! brought to you by BZOINK!

Up On The Rooftop, Listenin\' To Punk Rock.
Hmph. Well. I am now officially the family freak. Because I don't eat beef. -blinks- I announced that today before dinner, and I got yelled at. So I only eat white meat. Big deal. Get over it.

I went riding today. Yeah... Going tomorrow too. Up to Skyland. -nods-

I called Robbie like.. ten minutes ago. Well, called him like forty minutes ago. Got off the phone like ten minutes ago. -Sigh-. I love him.

Hm. My birthday is Friday. And I am going shopping for my birthday. Fredricksburg mall. With like.. 100 bucks. Hehe. Woot. I dunno. I'm bored now. Later kids.

I'm AStill Trying To Get up This Hill. I Need You Just Like A Pill.
Yes, Robbie's got me listening to this stuff regularly now. -hums a bit- You know, it's not bad. At all. But, you know what IS bad? Someone told Robbie's mom that Robbie and I have kissed. And that was a no-no from the beginning. >.< so, Robbie's gonna be grounded. Ick. And we got a lecture from Mr. Cottrill today in band about "some people making out in the back of the bus". That was a bad way to start the block. But we kind of made up for it with the way we played today. We did pretty good and all.. Yeah, not much to say. So, gonna catch you later. Ohh, Mom rearranged my room a bit. Woot. I love you.

Shaking On The Outside, Because Of What I'm Feeling Inside. My Chest Is Fxcking Hurting, And My Stomach's Fxcking Burning. I Laugh When You Are Crying, And Say Inside You're Dying, Because You Gave Up

You know what? Parents are dick licking faggots. I hate parents. I hate MY parents. They just won't leave me alone. I'll be sitting here in my room, minding my own business, when someone will call me into the other room to turn the TV up for them, because you know, it's such a long way from the couch to the TV and all. Or they'll call me into the living room to cuss me out because I forgot to do something that they never told me I had to do. You know, fighting with my parents has become my new favorite sport. I'm getting pretty mouthy with them, and I'm just waiting for one of them to punch me in the face. Dad won't do it, but Mom will. And just wait until she does. I'm going to come to school with a bruise the size of Texas and a broken jaw, and I'm gonna laugh when Social Services steps in. If I can even move my jaw by then.

Okay, so I come home today and check the mail, because no one's home. I got my Good Charlotte book today. So yeah. WEE! Then I go into a house that's empty, except for the dogs, and you can definitely tell the dogs are in there. The house reeks of them. So, as I'm resisting the urge to gag, I'm making my way into the kitchen to put my junk on the floor. I grab my book and come into my room and make my bed and such. Then I go back into the kitchen to grab my stuff and come back in here. I put my bookbag and stuff down, and sit on my bed and start reading the book. So I finish reading the book, I go into the kitchen, still messy from this morning, and let Mudflap off of the side porch, and put him on the chain outside. Once he comes in, I let Buddy and Tucker out, and so on. By now, it's around 5, then my mother comes home and decides that I'm a worthless, lazy brat, and starts yelling at me because I didn't clean the kitchen. When, A) Cleaning the kitchen is NOT my job, and B) None of the junk in there was mine ANYWAY. So after I clean the kitchen, she starts yelling at me about the living room NOT being vaccumed. Which, again, is NOT my job. So I'm vaccuming the living room when I accidentally run over the cord, and it makes this weird noise. So she's all yelling at me that I'm supposed to watch out for the cord and blah blah blah. So I go back to vaccuming, and I run over the cord a second time, and by this time, I'm almost rolling around on the floor laughing because she's yelling about stupid crap. She's all calling me stupid and stuff. So after I finish that, she goes into her room and is trying to get this rug she bought on the floor under her bed. So she calls me in so I can help her, but when I DO help her, I'm not doing it right, and she gets all pissy and yells some more, about WHO KNOWS what. Then, whatever. Her and Dad all leave me alone until dinner time. So I get my food in the kitchen, then go into the living room to sit with them. And I go to sit on the floor in between the table and the couch, and I accidentally push the couch back a little. I got a lecture for that one. Then we all finish and mom's all making me wash the freakin' dishes, piling them up and up and up, like there needs to be more for me to do. Then she's yelling at me, asking me if I have any pants that I'd like washed. I said yeah, and continue washing the mound of dishes she stacked up in front of me. She then comes out into the kitchen with this big freakin' hamper full of her dirty clothes, so I go into my room to get mine, and she's all yelling, "I ALREADY GOT YOURS, KATY!" and crap. Then she has Dad carry the basket downstairs for her, because it takes too much exercise for her to do it herself, ya know. And so I finish up the dishes while they're downstairs, then come back into my room. Then when the wicked wench of the East comes upstairs, she yells "Kate! Get in here!" and I go into the kitchen, and get yelled at because I didn't wipe down the counter and put the last piece of chicken away from dinner. Then Dad all gets into it, and we're fighting about the dishes, then fighting about Band trips, and he says that I'm gonna be caring about all these chores when I can't go on the trips. And I said "Whatever. I'm just gonna fail band and it's gonna be your fault." and yeah.. then we got into another big argument. And by this time, I'm full on yelling at him, telling him that if they'd both just leave me to be by myself, we wouldn't have to have these yelling matches. But no. I get "Well if you did what you were supposed to in the first place, you wouldn't be yelled at." I'm a bad kid. Send me to Juvie. I don't care anymore. Just get me away from you. Like I said. I hate my parents. I will never forgive them for this broken childhood of mine. But, I must go for now. If I'm not in the shower by 8, I'm gonna get another lecture. >.< I've had enough yelling for today. It's fifteen minutes to eight right now.. Robbie, if you read this. Call me. Mom might answer the phone and I might be in the shower still, but I'll call you back. Love you babe. I can't wait unti lyou rescue me from this Hell. <3333 xoxoxoxox

A Survey. Deal.
Your Life_______
[x] they call me: Stacy Katelyn
[x] sex: Female
[x] my first breath of air: April 2nd, 1990
[x] status: Taken. <3333
[x] occupation: Don't have a job as of right now.
[x] best friends: Robbie, Chelsea, Jared, Ian, Coleman, Kristen, Josh, Ena, Kim.

_______Rewind_______
[x] most memorable memory: January 17, 2004
[x] worst?: Ah. Wasn't too long ago. Well, maybe it was.. I can still see the scar, but I can't remember how long ago. The razor slipped too deep that time.. almost passed out. But shh. No one knows that.
[x] first word uttered: i cant remember that far back...
[x] first best friend ever?: Jessica Lynn<33

_______Love?_______
[x] love is: Beautiful. Exciting. Incredible. Wonderful. Phenomenal. Special..
[x] first love: TRUE love? Robbie Hilton.
[x] love or lust?: Lust plays into love. There is no love without lust. So yeah.. both. Plus, I love the way lust feels. Lust is an "instense sexual desire". I'm definitely in lust. But, I'm in love too. It's not MY fault he touches my neck right in that one spot, and it makes me wanna do stuff I'm not allowed too. ^.~
[x] best love song: "Naked"-Avril Lavigne
[x] when love hurts, you?: Love hurts. Period. There's nothing you can do about it. You get over it.
[x] true or false: all you need is love: true
[x] is there such thing as love @ first sight?: no..most people have to walk by again..lmao

_______Opposite Sex_______
[x] turn ons: Eyes. Hands. Deep voices are sexy too.
[x] do your parent's opinion on your bf/gf matter to you?: Nah. Their opinions don't matter to me on anything.
[x] what kinda hair style?: Spiked up; liberty spikes, mohawk, just spiked up at random angles.. whatever.
[x] the sweetest thing a member of the opposite sex can do for you?: Hold you close, and tight, and whisper in your ear that they love you. And then sweet kisses.. on the lips, on the neck.. where ever.
[x] where do you go to meet new people?: School. There's no where else to go. Madison's too small for that crap.
[x] are you the type of person to HOLLER and ask for numbers?: Nah.

_______Picky Picky_______
[x] dog or cat: dog
[x] short or long hair: long
[x] sunshine or rain: rain
[x] moon or sun: moon
[x] hugs or kisses: kisses
[x] 1 best friend or 10 acquaintances: 1 best friend
[x] summer or winter: summer
[x] written letters or e-mails: written letters
[x] playstation or nintendo: Playstation, dude.
[x] car or motorcycle: Eh, car.
[x] house party or club: house party
[x] sing or dance: sing
[x] freak or slow dance: slow

_______Lately_______
[x] how are you today? its better than yesterday, but hopefully worse than tomorrow..
[x] what pants are you wearing right now? My gray and blue PJ pants.
[x] what shirt are you wearing right now? Jessica's All Girls Rock Camp tee shirt under my Atticus hoodie.
[x] what does your hair look like at the moment? down,straight,parted,and terrible looking, plus i have headphones on lol
[x] what song are u listening to right now? Story of the Year - "Until The Day I Die"
[x] how is the weather right now? sunny =]
[x] last person you talked to on the phone? Brittney.. last night I think.
[x] last dream you can remember? That's none of your business. ^.~
[x] who are you talking to right now? Miranda
[x] what time is it? 5:17PM

_______More About YOU!_______
[x] what are the last four digits of your phone number? 7867
[x] if u were a crayon, what color would you be? black
[x] have you ever almost died? Yeah.
[x] do u like the person that sent u this?I stole it from someone's blurty, dude. But I think I like her, she's MEST Obsessed. ^.~
[x] what's the next CD you are going to buy? Um, I dunno. I guess I'll see. Maybe Mest's 'Mo Money Mo 40z'. Or Something Corporate's 'Leaving Through the Window'
[x] what's the best advice ever given to you? "Keep fighting. Just.. keep fighting. Don't give up" -David Vogt. Or.. "Hold on if you feel like letting go. Hold on it gets better than you know" -Good Charlotte. <33
[x] have u ever won any special award? I won the 3rd grade spelling bee.
[x] what's the stupidest thing u have ever done? Ha, if I started telling you, we'd both be here for weeks.
[x] how many kids do you want to have? 1 or two.
[x] shampoo? St. Ives.. and there's White Rain.. and Herbal Essences.
[x] what are you most scared of? Losing Robbie. Or.. going to Heaven and having to leave my friends behind, because I failed at getting them saved.
[x] how many TV's do you have in your house? Like.. five, I think.
[x] do you have your own TV? Yeah. I have the best one. <3
[x] who do you dream about? Robbie, mostly. And there's the occasional Benji and Joel one.
[x] who do you tell your dreams to? Sometimes Robbie and Chel.
[x] who's the loudest friend you have? ...?
[x] who's the quietest friend? ..?
[x] Is cheerleading a sport? sure..i guess...
[x] how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Hah, I don't have the patience to count. Nor can I count that high.

It's The Way We Talk, The Way We Walk, The Way Your Words, Connect My Thoughts. The Way We Move, The Way We Stand, The Way Our World Is In Your Hands.

Gah, I am so frustrated. I've been like.. downloading some songs since like.. four or five this afternoon, and I'm not even done. I can't find "Faith, Love, and Happiness", and my computer's being a flaming homosexual and taking forever to download the ones I CAN find. I've got four more left : "Bounce" ..
"Ordinary" "Rawkfist" and.. "Faith, Love, and Happiness".. Then I've got to burn them all onto a CD.. gah. And it's already almost ten-thirty. Mom is going to murder me if I stay up late tonight. Ick.

Haha. Someone on Kazaa called Thousand Foor Krutch "punk God music". Haha. Yeah, anyways. I talked to Mom about what I wanna do for my birthday. I told her I wanted to just go to the mall with like a hundred bucks.. But, uh, I didn't specify WHICH mall. I'd like to go to Fredricksburg... That mall has Hot Topic. And DEB.. and Afterthoughts and Icing. And all those super cool stores that Charlottesville doesn't. Yeah, and I can get my ears pierced. M'hm.. And then I'm gonna have money from Bopbul.. which last year.. was like.. forty bucks, so this year, maybe it'll be fifty! ;D, and then I get money from Grandma Julie, which last year, was fifteen bucks, so maybe this year I'll get twenty from her! Hahaha. She's so cheap. >.< And then Miranda is gonna give me money I think. Speaking of Miranda, I haven't seen her online in a while. I think she's in Myrtle Beach for cheerleading. Ick. I hate cheerleading.

Well, I found a Faith, Love, and Happiness that works, but it's downloading so freakin' slowly, and the other two aren't doing anything, dude. Wtf is up with this?? Gah.

-Yawns-

Wow, I'm tired. But I dun wanna go to bed. Hmph. I just had the most awesome conversation with my bud. <33 My bud kicks.

EmoKidAmerica [12:12 AM]: Yeah, well playing flute is pimp.
DrumNdanjr71148 [12:12 AM]: oh so pimpish

Haha. He's so great. We talked for like.. an hour. We were acting like idiots.. and like.. yeah. I think we're both overly tired. Haha. Yes, Daniel and I are insane. Er... we're the normal ones. Everyone else is insane and needs to come to their senses. *COUGH*ASHTON*COUGH* Ahem. -spasm over- Yeah. Well.. I dunno. Peace out, dude.

Is there such a secret place as the land of tears?

Not all scars show, not all wounds heal. Sometimes you can't always see the pain that someone feels..






I love you.