joslyn_julia
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2011 27 May :: 10.08am
apparently i'm a horrible person. and today I'm okay with that.
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joslyn_julia
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2011 23 May :: 10.55am
It's been awhile and it seems I have missed much commotion on the woohu. One semester left, but a whole load of bills that is making it impossible to register/ put down a deposit/ ect.
I pretty much am just here in Kenowhere.
I wish that things would perk up in MI so I could go home and work at the jewelry store...
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m&ms487
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2011 26 April :: 7.42pm
:: Mood: calm
My life is set for approximately the next two years. Hopefully, with little to no deviation. I'm almost done with my first semester of graduate school. I just have about 14 pages to complete before the end of the semester next week.
I'm slated to graduate with my Master of Arts in English Language and Literature in May 2013. I've been offered (and I accepted) a position to teach two sections of English 101: Freshman Composition as a Graduate Assistant. I even got hired by the University and all. I get a small (small) stipend, and a tuition waver for up to 20 credits per year.
I really want to teach when I graduate. I know that I will probably teach composition (hopefully at a community college) for a few years, and then I'll think about a PhD program. I'll see when I get there. I'll also be able to get a job as a grant writer for an organization, as I will be trained in that by the time I graduate.
Things are going. Things are happening. Good things.
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m&ms487
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2011 28 March :: 8.21pm
So...update.
Graduate school is easy. I started in January. So much less crap than undergrad ever was. With that being said, it's getting to the crunch time of the semester that I haven't quite prepared for because I've been busy doing stuff such as:
1. Working at the Writing Center 15 hours/week
2. Organizing a huge fundraiser for the Theodore Roethke House in Saginaw
3. Presenting at the Eastern Central Writing Centers Association Conference
4. Presenting at the Michigan Women's Studies Association Conference
5. Founding and hosting meetings of Anarchists without Adjectives
6. Applying for Teach for America
7. Applying for a graduate assistantship position to teach English 101 next year
8. Sleeping
9. Planning
10. Blogging
Between now and April 9th, I have a presentation and a 15-20 page paper to write for one class. Between now and May 1, I have a 12 page paper, a presentation, and several smaller assignments to complete. Oh, and probably about 2,000 pages of reading. Eh.
The library is my home skillet.
1 believer |
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joslyn_julia
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2011 24 March :: 8.56am
life is making me not happy.
and yes, i have friends that are getting just as much crap life and more than me, but i feel like I am at the breaking point.
Maybe I've never been that strong... or maybe it just isn't worth it anymore.
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joslyn_julia
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2011 8 February :: 10.58am
:: Music: Presidents of the USA- lump
I am starting to think in a year from now I might not have any option but divorce.
I won't go into right now, because I have too much to do, but I sincerely am starting to just not give a damn about him.
Maybe I should have had the song as Elton John The Bitch is Back.
Also, I am seriously thinking about only writing my statuses as lines from songs from here on out. I feel like my emotions are starting to refreeze. Lord save us If I am returning to be the bitch I was in HS.
1 believer |
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joslyn_julia
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2011 4 February :: 5.34pm
lets fucking bitch me out for everything i say and do.
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joslyn_julia
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2011 3 February :: 5.08pm
i have zero motivation for life. my plants are all dying because there is no sun, my husband has no problem acting like i am being neurotic because he isn't returning my calls and I really could care less about school right now.
I am so sick of having to just drop money that isn't here and buy totally random shit for class that I will never use again.
I ought to get a job, but right now I am feeling so down on myself that it is pretty much impossible to "sell" myself to even get an f-ing job. I feel like my whole life I have just slipped between the cracks because I was never worth noticing and what the hell can i even do to change it? It all seems pretty lame if you ask me. I need motivation... something. give me one damn thing to look forward to please. I can't even turn up the music and rock out because I can't get new music. everything is just dumbed down, built up crap anymore. ugh.
wish i could go by some damn motivation... or something of the like.
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joslyn_julia
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2011 15 January :: 10.14am
:: Music: The Hamster Dance
Wow, I have seriously tried to give my hair volume for like half an hour and the only difference is the way my hair is laying... no height at all.
Interestingly enough I forgot some of the wacky music I have. Thank God for sounds to jam with.
In other news, I am in Green Bay this weekend. I forgot how much I love staying in Hotels. Going to hang out with my old roomie today, maybe tour Lambeau field... Adventures ahead!
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joslyn_julia
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2011 13 January :: 10.01pm
you'll never realize it but you are killing me
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joslyn_julia
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2011 12 January :: 1.04pm
If I could wish any wish, it would be that my "friends" appreciated me more. I put that in quotes because there are people that I have deemed to be my friends and over the past few years it becomes more and more evident that maybe what I feel and how I see in the 'friendly' relationship isn't the same both ways.
I try to do anything and I am blown off. Idk, maybe we are just on totally different wavelengths or something. I am just sick of this dull ache that I feel because maybe I care more, or I just keep lying to myself that there was ever any relationship there what-so-ever.
I know this is my safe place, and I want to hash this all out in words, but Idk if I have it in me right now. Mike is def. right though... too much heart. I feel bad for the grinch, I was shut off like him too once... and then your heart grows and re-opens and you get hurt all over again, and that pain is even worse. idk anymore. none of it fits together or makes sense, except that is the explanation for the worst.
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joslyn_julia
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2011 11 January :: 12.06pm
hello world... what movie do i want to watch today?
Thanks Liz for introducing me to Avatar. I am really wanting to watch it on my big tv now... guess I'll need to order it on Netflix.
clean, launder, eat. not necessarily in that order. this this the agenda for today.
1 believer |
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joslyn_julia
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2011 7 January :: 10.21pm
so apparently I'm a worthless piece of shit and my husband deserves better. So glad that I try to be friends with his friend and get this in return.
I wonder why it is that I pretty well hate everybody and don't like meeting new people or making new friends.
Damn arrogant virgos. up until last month he did less than all that I am being accused of.
brushin' my shoulders off, never marry a country boy (unless you want to be susie homemaker with no life for yourself). keep that on record if your single. Once you do anything for a guy they will never want to do it for themselves again. remember that too.
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joslyn_julia
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2011 5 January :: 11.21am
gotta love classes that are truly a waste of time.
ah well, at least it is a fitness refresher... as long as it doesn't continue to make me fall apart we should be good.
day 1 strained shins
day 1 1/2-2 sore knee
no class tomorrow through next monday, so hopefully no more damage.
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joslyn_julia
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2011 3 January :: 2.32pm
mike just gave me mail that i got from a teacher... it made my day worse, if that is possible.
please don't mind me crawling in a hole to die now. i def feel ashamed and disgusted that my teacher should have failed me because of how far behind i got but she still passed me.
i guess it was nice, but honestly now i feel like a worthless sack(again). not that he cares about any of the correlation to why my grades were soooooo horrible. it kills me, it really does.
thanks for waking me up to give me mail and making me feel like total shit. i will be spending the rest of the day in bed crying now. thanks.
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