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Evilgirl28666
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2005 22 May :: 9.54pm
hide and seek
trains and sewing machienes
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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Evilgirl28666
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2005 20 May :: 3.40pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: oasis- champange supernova
only took two cuts
i didnt realize how dull the old blade was
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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Evilgirl28666
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2005 17 May :: 4.38pm
GirlofEvil28666 (4:36:29 PM): wut is this
GirlofEvil28666 (4:36:32 PM): my house is quiet
GirlofEvil28666 (4:36:38 PM): my mom is upstairs quiet
Jaycee (4:36:39 PM): lol i dunno
Jaycee (4:36:46 PM): shes smoking
GirlofEvil28666 (4:36:48 PM): there is no bitching
GirlofEvil28666 (4:36:51 PM): haha yess i no
Jaycee (4:36:57 PM): shes high as a kite rite now
GirlofEvil28666 (4:36:57 PM): there is no bobby yelling at me
GirlofEvil28666 (4:37:18 PM): there is no urge to drian the blood outta me
GirlofEvil28666 (4:37:29 PM): what is this
Jaycee (4:37:32 PM): hmm
Jaycee (4:37:37 PM): peaceful ness
Jaycee (4:37:40 PM): just let it sink it
GirlofEvil28666 (4:37:42 PM): mmhmm
GirlofEvil28666 (4:37:43 PM): peace
Jaycee (4:37:46 PM): it happens once and a while
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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Evilgirl28666
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2005 16 May :: 6.48pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: oasis/nothing/breathing/skin being torn apart
im tired now.
im calm. its ok that i couldnt get it to bleed that much
its like a little red river...smaller than your middle finger, with little hills on the sides because the water eroded it away. and its surronded by dirt or something..that makes a little hill after the hills on the sides, but its lower before flattening into the skin on the rest of my arm in the valley that is my pain.
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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Evilgirl28666
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2005 11 May :: 9.44pm
so i told her that i cut
shes went through this whole thing...and about 20mins ago comes downstairs...i told her around 6 and she goes to me
i think its just because you're bored
you have no idea how fucking upset i am right now
im gonna fucking slit my throat that will show her how bored i am right the fuck now..
3 And the wings that you burn..... |
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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Evilgirl28666
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2005 10 May :: 7.07pm
leave me alone like you've always done
I scream so I can wake myself up from this nightmare.
Just hit play...and watch my whole life fall apart.
I was trying to get equilibrium from two extremes: either I was so upset that I had to cut myself to relieve it, or I was so numb that I had to cut myself to get back to being there
I'm not getting over you...
I'm just getting used to the pain
If it makes you happy, then I'm fine. If it lets you sleep at night, I am not suicidal. If it helps you stay ignorant, the scars that lace my body are not proof of how much self-hatred boils inside me. If it keeps you from abandoning me, I'm not crazy.
Bad habits r hard to break, especially ifu like them.
I don't need help. I'll stop whenever the pain inside stops.
Suicide.. giving hopeless people hope.
and everyones asleep while she stays up
and leaves reminders on her arms of how much she hates herself
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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Evilgirl28666
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2005 10 May :: 7.06am
if you a get a feeling,
the next time you see me
do me a favor and let me know
'cause it's hard to tell
it's hard to say.
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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Evilgirl28666
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2005 8 May :: 9.41pm
why cant u stop liking stupid bitchy girls who just ruin everything and get you upset and mad and depressed.
and just like me...
i hate seeing you upset.
1 And the wings that you burn |
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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evilgirl28666
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2005 7 May :: 10.40pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: goo goo dolls
blah
today....was different
jon came over around 12:45
and he left around 7:30
so thats what...5 hours and 15 mins...
and it was basically just me and him
my mom was around the house a little....we went down town for a little bit but it was mostly spent in my house just hanging out.
talking. being tired about the semi-formal last night.
i had a good time. alex was awsome..we danced together slow and i got him to dance fast with me for a little. we took pics and shit lmfao i think he had a good time.
jon had the worst couple days in a long time.
the first girl he went with told him a day before she couldnt go. so then he spent 2 hours or something looking for another. and she ended up avoiding him and hanging out with other people the whole time
*deep breath*
i told him that i was pissed at his dates. because i wanted to go wtih him. i also told him that i wanted to go with him freshman year and i was pissed that his date fucked it up
*exhales*
we were chilling on the computer...watched a movie...slept a little bit...went downtown to marias he got chicken wings french fries and an iced tea i think. went to casa de moda so i could get my mom a mothers day card/gift. came back did computer n then watched harry potter...about an hour. i fell asleep and he left without waking me up which he said he did and i dont remember that but w.e.
so i woke up to find a pissed jon gone.
and i started freaking out i dont know..over reacting. so i called his house. he went out for a run. things flash through my head...he runs when hes mad blah and ish. so i went out in the nor. easter looking for him. its cold. its raining. im wet. im running. hair is flying. i see him walking down the street.
*breathe*
"hey...what are you doing walking around.."
"you scared the shit outta me omg...are you ok?"
"yeah...whats the matter"
"i woke up and u were gone and i didnt no wtf and u were pissed and BLAH"
"umm i woke u up u said 'ok' and i left"
"..."
"..."
"well i guess i can go home now"
we both turn and walk
"are you ok?"
"yeah i was just scared i didnt no what to think"
"well im ok, do you want me to walk you home?"
"no, im alright. ill talk to you later"
"bye"
got home. hour or two later hes on...i waited 36mins and imed him.
jon: just for future reference you dont have to worry about me doing something stupid
me: thats good to know
jon: ya
jon: im glad you care though
other things are said
thats all thats going through my head
i like him so much.
i dont know what i think about him liking other girls...i dont know lol maybe i dont want to know.
well i am tired. and i will update later
btw i looked hot for the semi :p
1 And the wings that you burn |
turn to ashes my dear (leave a message)
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