Iwasthinkingthat
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2004 18 September :: 10.33pm
:: Mood: alright
:: Music: you know...a song
I hate the average girl
So I learned how to parrellel park yesturday and it was cool.
Today I worked at Fresnos this morning and it made me remember why I hate girls. Then Sean came over and we hung out until I had to go to work at Big Dip.
That was fun...winter will be dull without it.
Thats all I got....oh yeah... my dad and neighbors are all outside drunkened and obnoxious. They're funny.
Why do I keep this thing... I dont even write anymore.
BYE
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2004 16 September :: 7.33pm
:: Mood: not so happy?
STOP GETTING MY HOPES UP!
Ever sit there and think why you are the way you are? Why you think or do things? What causes you to react the way that you do? Yeah, me too.
My cousin is having a wedding in Florida. I was told that when we go, Sean is aloud to come with us. Now keep this in mind...the last time we went to Florida I was told we would be staying for a week and it ended up being like 3 days. So Ive had my hopes up before about this trip stuff. So today I ask my dad if he could call Seans parents and he says "Well I dont know if he can go...I dont even know what Im doing yet." So now, not only is Sean maybe not aloud to come but the whole 4 day trip is in jepardy because my dad isnt good at living up to his words.
It reminds me of all the times he has said that this is the last time he will take crap from my mom. He has said the he wont go back to her about 50 million times...he tells me it'll change. And guess what, It doesnt.
So what I have learned from today is why I act the way I do. I have a hard time believing people and if they are true to what they say because Im used to them being false. I cant blame it all on that but man...its so unfair.
This better not happen....
Annnd in comes my dad to piss me off and make me cry.
I just made food too...who wants too eat and sob at the same time.
FUCK IT... fuck it
BYE
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2004 14 September :: 8.46pm
:: Mood: head....ache
:: Music: Billy Talent
Im alright
Hello...journal.
I was beyond tired today. I dont know what my deal is. Id like to sleep for a day and a half. I hate this because I didnt get this feeling last year until the end of the year and its starting mucho early this year.
I HAVE HAD MY PERIOD FOR 10 DAYS!
Sorry to whoever reads this who just read that but its bugging me.
Sean and I got Subway afterschool today and then went to drivers ed.
senior pictures are painful to pick from.
goodnight
BYE
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2004 13 September :: 9.59pm
:: Mood: exhausted
I just got out of work....Im really tired
Heres my schedule
Tuesday- Drivers Ed. 5-6:30
Wednesday- Drivers Ed 3-4:30 and Fresnos 5 til whenever
Thursday- Drivers Ed. 5-6:30
Friday- Drivers Ed. 3-4:30 Big Dip 6-cl
Saturday- Fresnos 10:45 til whenever Big Dip 7-cl
Sunday Big Dip 2-7
Yup
BYE
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2004 12 September :: 8.21am
Good Morning
Im going to work # 2 in about 10-15 minutes. Lisa will be picking me up. Then I have to work at Big Dip from 2-7. Then its home and such.
Yesturday was a really good day. I was awoken at 8 am by men in my yard cutting down trees. That kind of sucked but then I went outside and my parents had gotten donuts and bagels for the workers and neighbors so I chowed down. I hung out with Lindsay and the neighbors. Then I walked up to the Junior High to meet Sean because his brother was having a soccer game there. We hung out and I did sit ups on a bar at Lonergan. I did good! Then I went home and cleaned my room. Jay and I went to the mall. JCPennys was having a "Sweet Sale" and they were giving a bar of chocolate with a coupon on it when you walked in the door. So we walked through both doors a few times and ended up with like 5 bars each. It was yummy too. We also got Jones soda because we are that cool. Next I came home and hung out with my drunken neighbors. Then I went to work where I made a nice number of tips.
Now I must go.
BYE
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2004 9 September :: 5.16pm
:: Mood: is fat on here?
Up annnnnd then back down
I have Jay in my sociology class which makes that my best class. That is my only class with a good friend. Minus studyhalls. I have gym tomorrow morning and Im really scared.
I need to go get school supplies. Will someone take me tonight?
Im on the edge of yelling. Im trying to contain myself...I just want to be nice even if she is inconciderate.
Hmmph make it better.
BYE
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2004 8 September :: 8.56pm
:: Mood: headachey
:: Music: Foo Fighters- Times Like These
1st day of school = yucky
That just shows how the year is looking...
So I was lucky enough to awaken at 5:30 this morning and attend a lovely 7 hours at CNS Highschool. My first studyhall is cool because Kendra, Jenn, Lauren, Scott, etc. is in my class. Although Lauren ditched us...but what can you expect from our fickle friend? 2nd block was ehhh ok and the teacher seemed nice. 3rd block was ...yeah, pretty bad. 4th block was good because Kendra and Tasha are in it and bad because some of the other company sucks.
I went to work and it was really slow. I had/have a migrane so it wasnt much fun.
Well its time for me to depart...
BYE
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2004 7 September :: 10.11am
:: Mood: weird
:: Music: Cold- Cure My Tradegy
Make out for daddy
I saw something really gross this morning at 4:33.
Yesturday was my first day at Fresnos. Lisa got to train me and stuff. Everyone seems pretty nice. I get free, fattening food. Lisa and I split cheddar bacon fries and a bloomin onion and we went to Big Dip and got ice cream. Haha it was a good time...we get along with the garage real well.
So I work everyday this week..heres the schedule..
Tues. 11-4:30
Weds. 3-7
Thurs. 3-7
Fri. 5 till whenever (Fresnos)
Sat. 7-cl
Sun. 8:45- 1:30ish (fresnos) 2-7 (big dip)
I'll be busy looks like. Sean will be gone all weekend so work wont be a bad thing minus I was told I could come with him. Maybe if he was a better planner he could tell me these things ahead of time : ) ...next summer.
So this is my last day of freedom. Which reminds me...I have to call my Guidence Counslor.
BYE
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2004 4 September :: 11.36pm
You arent ever around when I need you
BYE
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2004 4 September :: 12.00pm
:: Mood: busy
:: Music: Rooney- Losing all control
N/A
I worked day yesturday and then afterwards went to Seans. We ate dip and played games all night. It was fun like usual.
Today Lisa and I are going out to buy me clothes to wear to Fresnos. I start Monday. It should be fun. After we go out I have to go to work at 6 til cl. The season ends at the end of September which is saddening. Its okay though...we have next year.
Tomorrow I have to go to Fresnos at 3 and get my schedule and such. Then I going home and eating SPEIDIES! Then work 7-cl. School starts up on Wednesday which should be quite interesting. Last year....thats all that matters.
Im leaving...
BYE
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2004 2 September :: 11.37pm
:: Mood: freezing mad and hapy
Ki Ki Ki Ki
Sean and I went to the fair today and it was awesome. Im not going into detail because it would take too long. I got a goldfish and named it Cracker because its white like me. I also won Sean a Pirate Patrick.
School Schedule
A days
Block 1 gym
Block 2 us history- fletcher
Block 3 math- ainsworth
block 4 studyhall
B days
Block 1 Sociology- sherb
Block 2 Physics- chapin
Block 3 Creative Writing- farrington
Block 4 Photo- Brinley
C Days
Block 1 Studyhall
D days
no change
2nd Semester
A and C days
block 2 Mature Adult- ware
block 4 Childrens Literature-sullivan
B and D days
block 5 Economics- Dietrich
block 7 PIG- Leach
thats that...let me know
BYE
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2004 2 September :: 12.14am
:: Mood: good
boring life lol
Today was fullfilling and I should be in bed.
First Sean and I went out to lunch, then we went to the highschool. We tried rollerblading home but it got too bumby so we had to walk. We played Mario Party and Pitch. Then I went to work. It was alot of fun tonight. 50 bike from a bikers club came. That was fun. Colin stopped by and he is always fun to talk to. So on and so forth.
Im going to the fair tomorrow early with Sean so I need to go to bed.
Dont ask why I took this survey...I hate surveys. I got bored earlier in the day.
[Current Clothes] sweat pants and a tank top
[ Current Mood ] sad
[ Current Music ] staind
[ Current Taste ] – bad breath
[ Current Make-up ] uhh make- up
[ Current Hair ] straight down…atleast I hope
[ Current Annoyance ] - birds
[ Current Smell ] – beyond paradise
[ Current Desktop Picture ] black and white waterfall…its pretty
[ Current Book you're reading ] house of sand and fog
[ Current CD in CD Player] - staind
[ Current DVD in player] – good question
[ Current Color Of Toenails ] natural
[ Current Refreshment ] – none unfortunatly
[ Current Worry ] that’s a whole other survey
- LAST PERSON
[ You Touched ] sean
[ You Talked to ] sean
[ You Hugged ] - sean
[ You Instant messaged ] lisa
[ You Yelled At ] my mom
[You Kissed ] hmm I wonder
- FAVORITES :
[ Food ] mac and cheese
[ Drink ] orange juice
[ Color ] green
[ Album ] – don’t have a favorite
[ Shoes ] my green converse
[ Candy ] all of it
[ Animal ] anything but a bird
[ TV Show ] the price is right
[ Movie ] what dreams may come
[ Song ] too many
[ Vegetable ] POTATOS
[ Fruit ] strawberrys, grapes, kiwi, peaches…anything besides a melon
[ Cartoon Character ] it varies each year
[ Number ] 3
[ Season ] summer
[ Sport ] I dont
[ Day ] friday
-H A V E .Y O U. E V E R . .
[ Pictured your crush naked? ] yup
[ Actually seen ur crush naked ] yup
[ Been in love ] all the time
[ Cried when someone died ] yes
[ Lied ] yes
-W H I C H . I S . B E T T E R-
[ Coke or pepsi ] which ones closer
[ Flowers or candy] the combo would have to be the best
[ Tall or short ] tall
-W I T H .T H E. O P P O S I T E. S E X-
[what do u notice first?] smiles
[last person u slow danced with] sean or erin at work
-W H O-
[makes u laugh the most?] sean
[makes you smile?] sean and p-day
[gives u a funny feeling when u see them] no one
[who do you have a crush on?] no one
[has a crush on u?] why don’t you ask them
[is easiest to talk to] sean or p-day
-D O. Y O U .E V E R-
[sit on the internet all night waiting for someone special to I.M. you?] im not that pathetic…thanks
[save aol/aim conversations] if I think they are funny
[wish u were a member of the opposite sex] oh yes
[cried because of someone saying something to you] all the time
-H A V E .Y O U .E V E R-
[fallen for your best friend] no
[been rejected] yes
[rejected someone] yes
[used someone] no
[cheated on somebody] yes
[done something you regret] yes
-W H O .W A S .T H E .L A S T. P E R S O N-
[you talked to on the phone] Sean
-D O .Y O U / / A R E .Y O U
[smoke cigarettes] no…duh
[could u live without the computer?] soon I will have to
[color ur hair] too much…infact…2 days ago
[ever get off the damn computer] im not on that much
[habla espanol] sie…well not really but I understood that
[drink alchohol?] no
[like watching sunrises or sunset] both
[what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain?] emotional… if you really want, you can block out physical
-N U M B E R-
of times I have had my heart broken? Don’t know
of hearts I have broken?: a few so they say
of guys I have kissed?: a solid amount
of continents I have lived in?: 1
of scars on my body?: haha
I AM : unhappy
I WANT : to be thinner
I HAVE : to go soon
I WISH : things would feel better
I HATE : life lol
I MISS : friends
I FEAR : growing older
I HEAR : birds
I SEARCH : - for pretty things
I WONDER : if it will be a nice day out
I REGRET : a lot
I LOVE : sean
I ACHE : when I think too hard
I ALWAYS : want food
I AM NOT : good at things
I DANCE : at work constantly
I SING : at work, with p-day or at home alone
I CRY : over everything
I AM NOT ALWAYS : the nicest person
I WRITE : my journal and my binder and to sean
I WIN : darts
I LOSE : pitch
I CONFUSE : everyone
I NEED : to get smaller
x. -father thinks I am: his loving daughter
x. -mother thinks I am: mean to her and a horrible kid
x. -my boyfriend thinks I am: the best ever
x. -three things you are often complimented for: my eyes, my smile , and being nice to people at work
x.-you get embarrassed when: I poop on the floor…well I would if that happened
x. -makes you happy: sunny days
x. -upsets you: me and my parents
- YES OR NO
x. -you keep a diary: yes
x. -you like to cook: yes
x. -you have a secret you have not shared with anyone: yes
x. -you believe in love: yes
The finest male you know: my seany
The weirdest person you know: p-day
The loudest person you know: lisa or sean
The sexiest person you know: me!…ha
Your best friends: P-Day
The person that knows the most about you: Lisa and Lauren or Sean
Most boring teacher: Mr Landon..7th grade
- WHAT IS
Your most overused phrase on IM: haha
The last image/thought you go to sleep with: it matters on what night
Your best feature: I don’t know
Inside joke: haha I have to pick one?
-DO YOU
Take a shower everyday: twice usualy
Have a(any) crush(es): nope
Want to get married: yes sir E
Get motion sickness: only if Im reading in a vehicle
Think you're a health freak: Im an all talker
Get along with your parents: HA
Like thunderstorms: I love them…they make me happier than you could
WHEN YOU SEE THIS NAME YOU THINK OF
- Ryan: Sean’s brother
- Rob: Janoski (I cant spell it)
- Drew: Carey
- Stephanie: don’t know
- Heather: Gring
- Aaron: Carter haha
- Amy: Stenzel
- Will: Grace
- Paul: My uncle
- Eve: 6
- John: My neighbor
- Laura: ew
- Alex: is
- Dave: Sieling
- Ricky: Unlce Ricky
~ SIGN: gemini
~ NATURAL HAIR COLOR: brown with blonde highlights
~ CURRENT HAIR COLOR: dark brown with drastic blonde highlights
~ EYE COLOR: blue
~ BIRTHPLACE: syracuse ny
- PREFERENCES
Cuddle or make out? cuddle
Chocolate milk or hot chocolate? Hot chocolate
Milk, dark, or white chocolate? dark
Vanilla or chocolate? It matters
- WOULD YOU EVER..
Eat a bug? nope
Bungee jump? Oh yea
Hang glide? yup
Kill someone? If I had nothing else to live for….no…I still couldn’t but I would definetly think about it
Have sex with someone you don't love? Don’t ask
Kiss someone of the same sex? If I had to
Have sex with someone of the same sex? No but I had a dream about it last night
Parachute from a plane? yes
Walk on hot coals? If I had rubber boots
Go out with someone for their looks? nope
For their reputation? nope
Be a vegetarian? I don’t believe in vegitarians
Wear plaid with stripes? Woah, fashion statement…
IM a stranger: if I had a reason
Sing karaoke?: nope
Get drunk off your ass? Not now
Shoplift? Not now
Run a red light? oops
Star in a porn video? If I didn’t feel fat
Dye your hair blue? Been there, done that
Be on Survivor? Oh yeah
Wear makeup in public? Haha everyday
NOT wear makeup in public? Yeah
Cheat on a test? Usually no, unless I really need to
Make someone cry? I would but then Id apologize pretty fast
Call your math teacher a motherfucker? I liked my math teachers
Kick a baby? No but if you do I will make sure to kick you in a spot so you could never have a baby : )
Date someone more than ten years older than you? Why when im already set
Cuss out a priest? No…I do have respect if nothing else
Take a job as a janitor? Id be a really lousy one
Wear a tho-tho-tho-tho-thong? I have no ass
Stay up all through the night? Many a times
BYE
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2004 1 September :: 12.46am
:: Mood: scared
Why did you leave me?
BYE
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2004 31 August :: 9.43am
:: Mood: sick
of everything
Daily Overview
August 31, 2004
You'll be dealing with a family member who needs your support -- possibly with a financial situation. Do what you can, but don't put yourself in a spot because you want to help.
BYE
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2004 30 August :: 11.27pm
:: Mood: pessimistic
Why the hell do I keep this thing...
Where is my cat?
BYE
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