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:: 2005 11 January :: 9.26 pm

fuck
wow
i just realized how many people like my best friend
its like 8 or something
wtf is that lol
eh who cares

i realize that i care a lot about things that i say i dont care about.
hanging out with dumb people makes me dumb
i take on the traits of those im around
i blend in
its me
i wear what i think i look good in. i take others opinions into consideration but i dont base my world around what my "best friend" does

i dont have a best friend
i havent trusted anyone sence august
i havent trusted anyone sence bobby
i dont think im gonna trust anyone anymore
its just not worth it.
people are queer like that
i bet my soul mate is just like me
but
we wouldnt trust each other
....
good job fate

i dont know if i believe in fate
i dont really care about it either
i hate people labeling me, because i cant even label myself
im wearing jeans from old navy, a shirt from hottopic, converses with star laces, a black sweatshirt my nails painted purple listining to dido with a shit load of eyeliner smearing itself around my eyes
you can label that? go right-a-fucking-head
lol
i also hate people who make fun of others music
even though i do it, but i only do it when i hate the person
but who likes country and freaky religious music
i just wont talk to those people
i can even stand RAP
eh
some
i am hypercritical but who isnt
i want to fit in but i enjoy standing out
i enjoy wearing "dark" clothing
i would enjoy wearing "colored" clothing but
i am fat

also
only i am allowed to call myself fat
anyone else with this opinion can screw themselves i dont care what you think.

speaking of not caring what people think
i was giving a report today in class
i just loved how people were sleeping and talking
it was the best ufcking feeling ever
yeah
fuck stupid and ignorant people
i think its ok to be stupid or ignorant every once in a great while but...
not that much people kthx bbye

so yeah


i hate how you signed offline and its like my world ended

i just LOVE the fact that my mom thinks something is wrong with me
she yelled at me for:
not bringing two blankets upstiars
misunderstanding something i said
me apologizing for what i "said"
and then her deciding to go to my friends house when i didnt want to

she thinks im psyco
wow
lol
i didnt even really talk to her
everything is just like...wow lets just fucking killmyself n be done with it.

i dont believe in god, a god or shit like that
if you do
good for you its great to have a belief
i dont
there are "higher" powers
but just because some chick i didnt know ate an apple from a tree because a snake told her too means im condemed to suffer and beg for forgiveness for the rest of my life is bull shit
i went to a catholic school for 9 years
church every first friday
church on lent christmas easter ne other freaking catholic day
it pushed me so far away from "god"
the whole preist taking advantage of little kids too
i hope they all get what gay-gen got
and can burn in the hell they believe in
i dunno where im gonna go when i die
eh
ill find out when i die


this was not a really good post chic-something sry cant remember lol
so dont read it
-ally

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