You are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me.

:: 2010 19 February :: 3.38pm

being able to RDP with DDNS amuses me

:: 2010 16 February :: 6.57pm
:: Music: Life After You - Daughtry

Life.. it happens whether we want it to or not..
I feel like I have hit a stand still in my life.
I don't feel like I am moving forward or backward.
I am completely happy with everything that has happened.
I love my life, just feel like it's too straight and narrow.
I hate my job; getting up at the same time, leaving at the same time, doing the same thing everyday, and seeing the same people.
I hate the repitition.
I understand that no matter what job I will end up doing, I will be doing the same thing over and over.
But after 2 years, I need a new scene. I need a different atmosphere.
I need to be able to go to work, and know that I'm not going to get into an argument with my boss over something petty.
I need a drastic change on the job front, like yesterday.
Something where I will see different people everyday.
I might be able to handle getting up at the same time, and leaving at the same time, if i had a different atmosphere to go to, and enjoy.

Having my nights to myself is lonely, and although I should be filling it with my homework, I don't.
I don't have the ambition to do my homework, because I am too caught up in being exhausted from work, and thinking about how I am just going to be going home to an empty, well almost empty house.

Ugh!..

sugarjackj

:: 2010 16 February :: 6.37pm

I just want you to know,
That I love you Woohu.

2 kids | you worry too much

:: 2010 14 February :: 10.54am

ha internet

tuwang

:: 2010 11 February :: 11.54am

It's not that it happened, its that you don't understand why

:: 2010 10 February :: 10.41am

Iron Maiden - Man on Edge
Read more..

tuwang

:: 2010 28 January :: 11.17am

じゃ。。。　実は俺ホンマに俺の本当の気持ちを書きたいっていう気持ちが出てこちに誰も分からないように日本語で書く。

最近はまーまーやな。なんてやってもいろいろがまだ悪いことにしてる。でも俺だけじゃなくて毎日授業中とか道路で歩いてる人とか誰でもすごくかわいそうな顔してる。無効に座ってる女が遅くサンド食べてて何か待ってることがありそうな感じだ。

つまりこの所が体にも心にもわるいんだ.

出たいな！っていつも考えてるのになんでかな？　出身じゃないか？　子供時代からずっと住んでる場所じゃないか？いつも好きじゃないとだめだっていう考え方もってるけど　嫌いな！大嫌いなんだよ！

:: 2010 28 January :: 10.38am

Big boy job.

:: 2010 26 January :: 2.55pm

Shithawks
The stupid discuss persons.
The average discuss things.
The intelligent discuss ideas.

5 kids | you worry too much

:: 2010 25 January :: 5.42pm

All the cool kids are doing it..
Has a hate list of her own today..

I hate that I have to be mean to get anywhere with morons that have better jobs than me.
I hate that I suck as a friend.
I hate that I don't realize that some things have boundaries, until its too late.
I hate that there isn't anything I can do in certain situations.
I hate that my boyfriend is back on second shift.
I hate that I have no ambition to do the ass load of homework that I have piled up on my desk.
I hate that I hate so many things.

Thought I had more to say, but I lost it..

4 kids | you worry too much

:: 2010 24 January :: 12.36pm

Dem boys got tha blues

:: 2010 15 January :: 11.13am

Chuck Yeager, that was a damn good man right there.

:: 2010 14 January :: 12.07am

shadow government

3 kids | you worry too much

:: 2010 7 January :: 10.55pm

Dickbutt

2 kids | you worry too much

:: 2009 31 December :: 11.22am

I was trying to remember what I have done on New Years Eve for the past 10 years.. but there are some blank memories in there..

So, if you were involved, tell me memories you shared with me..

box

:: 2009 29 December :: 4.29am

This is the kind of thing we need to hear these days.
I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our
liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow
private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by
inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow
up around [the banks] will deprive the people of all property until
their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers
conquered. The issuing power should be taken from the banks and
restored to the people, to whom it properly belongs.

- Thomas Jefferson, Letter to the Secretary of the Treasury Albert Gallatin (1802)

:: 2009 25 December :: 4.06pm

Had a rough couple of days.
They were more or less just extremely emotional and frustrating.
Had a hard time dealing with the 5 year anniversary of my grandma's death, and then this being the first christmas without my other grandma.
Argued 2 days in a row, with probably the most ignorant person in Ionia County.

I have felt a lot of unnecessary stress this week.
I think I am finally getting over it.
Thought I would have more Christmas spirit than I ended up with, but I guess shit happens.
Better luck next year.

kandy

:: 2009 25 December :: 4.05pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: Criminal Minds - on tv

ah..
see the knife
look at the blade glitter
pick it up
feel the edge
sharp enough to slice skin
press your thumb onto it
draw drops of crimson blood
exhale the breath you'd taken and smile
"this is it" you think
:my final time on this dreadful planet"
you mentally say goodbyes and praises
as you slowly lower the knife
so it presses against your inner wrist, on the vein
you take a deep breath
you press the blade down
press it hard
and slowly draw it against your skin
exhaling sharply against the sweet pain
you draw it so it makes a 2 inch cut
smiling as you see the blood
then you muster the courage
and switch hands
cutting into your other wrist
exerting a littler kmore pressure
so you get it right this time
you see the blood ooze out
you shiver slightly knowing, hoping
this will be your last
you make two more wounds
to the inner elbow of each arm
to help finish
knowing the asprain will only help
as the blood drips
you being to wonder
about what might have been
you write your thoughts down quickly
there's not too much time left now
you tell them how sorry you are
for not being perfect
for loving the wrong people
for doing the wrong things
but you lose your thoughts
you start to feel dizzy
you can feel yourself blacking out
you know you're dying
you hear someone walk in
you hear them shout your name
feel them run to you and cradle you in their arms
"I love you" you whisper
as blackness slips over you
"I love you! Please don't die" is whispered back
you struggle to hold on a little longer
if only to be with them
"I'm sorry. Remember me" you say
they hug you closer
they cry and tell you your forgiven and they love you
over and over again
your strength, your will weakens
you let go of life
with a smile
because you died in the arms of the one you loved
The only good thing you'd found on this dreadful planet.

I remember writing this years ago... and I still love the style of it.. but there is something wrong here. dying in the arms of the person you loved is not... an ending, nor is it probably the only good thing you'd find. To me, my dog is the only thing I have found with the exception of a few friends to have loved me unconditionally. To really be there for me and to accept me.

kandy

:: 2009 25 December :: 3.19pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: Criminal Minds - on tv

Everything
So I haven't updated in awhile. But I've had alot of things on my mind. Trying to figure out where my life is going and if where I'm at is helping me get there. I am excited about starting school back up in january. :D I'm just starting to wonder if this is really where I want to be. I miss things downstate. I used to have friends and be able to go hang out once in awhile.... now I just have one person maybe two I can talk to up here. And anyone that knows me, knows that I need my friends to stay sane. I've been having so much anxiety... sometimes its just hard to breathe. There are times I think... what am I doing here on this earth..what is my purpose. I keep wondering.... why am I here...I just make a mess of things. I constantly feel like everything is my fault. That I can never do anything right for my parents or the guy I'm with. And I know that isn't right or accurate. I know I'm loved to some extent. I just feel like there are terms and conditions to it all. And to me thats not the way love should be. I can love unconditionally, I treat my b/f the way I want him to treat me. Why can't someone treat me the same? Sometimes I just need a place to vent. I can't talk to him and have him actually listen. I just... I don't know what I need anymore.....

outsyder18

:: 2009 25 December :: 12.00am

Merry Christmas Bitches!

4 kids | you worry too much

jayzulla

:: 2009 22 December :: 3.12am

Avatar was pretty badass. mad people are going to see that movie. 3d has been sold out forever.

box	:: 2009 21 December :: 4.16am I'm Drunk... at jenny's house.. and you all fail.. Mine! you worry too much

:: 2009 12 December :: 9.10am

you get me my cheeze wiz boy?

twiggypuff

:: 2009 11 December :: 4.51pm

Oh my, hello!
Would you like an update about my life?
Well here you go!

I broke up with Tony.
I'm so good at being in relationships.
We still live together.
It's getting easier to be around each other.
He's been a huge jerk lately.
I haven't been mean or anything.
I simply need to figure out what I want from life.
Maybe.. eventually.. I will find someone to be with.
I know what I want in a relationship now, at least.
I plan to be super picky when I actually try to look.
It will be a while before I start looking.

Well I have other things going on.
They aren't big so I won't tell :P

I hope your lives are going well!

:: 2009 10 December :: 7.51pm

I haven't updated in awhile..
Don't really have a good reason as to why.
I don't really have anything exciting going on in my life right now, but things are going great.
I am happy and all that.
Trying to get through this semester of school..
Working on trying to get a new job..
I am so sick of all the talk of them firing me.. They won't do it, and it pisses me off.
I wish they'd just get it over with..

3 kids | you worry too much

liz	:: 2009 7 December :: 10.23pm Mariokart is fun you worry too much

:: 2009 6 December :: 12.08am

2 kids | you worry too much

:: 2009 3 December :: 10.52pm

holiday liquor gift boxes are great, you get a fifth AND glassware for the normal price of the booze

fucking win

:: 2009 22 November :: 12.07am

I missed a fucking overtime shootout, won by the Detroit Red Wings.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

sugarjackj

:: 2009 20 November :: 5.56pm

Ok Woohu. Look at me go.

The past few months of my life have been crazy, chaotic and life changing.

After being involved in a horrible domestic situation I spent a month and a half being homeless. I have lost almost everything I own. But I am better than I have ever been in my entire life.

Sometimes when things start to go so very wrong in your life you feel as though things can｡ｦt get any worse. They can. But, I learned so much from losing everything.

I moved into a domestic violence shelter on the reservation in Mt. Pleasant. I have been here for just about a month now, and things could not be going better for me �

I recently got a job, and I move into a one bedroom apartment next week.

I｡ｦve been getting into many native American cultural activities. Getting in touch with the earth and my heritage.

I｡ｦve decided to take a few more years off of school. I｡ｦm still trying to decide if college is really what｡ｦs best for me. I still will be taking a few classes though. Just so I remain smi-educated. Lol.

Next week I start an apprenticeship. I will be learning the art of native American stone sculpture. I am extremely excited to be doing this. Who knows, maybe I｡ｦll make magnificent sculptures and make a living being an artist. Pipedream? Maybe. But it would be cool in any case. To beat the system and make a living doing what I love. :P

So, overall, life isn｡ｦt perfect, but I｡ｦm doing the best I can.

I really am very happy :)