I wanted to believe in all the words I was speaking, as we moved together in the dark.
And all the friends that I was telling.
And all the playful misspellings.
And every bite I gave you left a mark.
Tiny vessels oozed into your neck,
and formed the bruises that you said you didn't want to fade, but they did, and so did I, that day.
1. That's right. Luke Skywalker. Before the sci-fi haters come out of the woodwork to crucify me, take a deep breath and listen to my reasoning. Here are some of the things we know about Luke:
* He lives on a patch of dirt in the middle of nowhere
* He has lots of beat-up vehicles in his front yard
* He's a greasemonkey
* He likes to make out with his sister
* He lives with his aunt and uncle ‘cause his dad killed his mom
Luke Skywalker is the classic definition of white trash. And, by definition, he is the prototypical redneck. Keep in mind he lived in a galaxy far, far away eons before we earthlings even climbed out of our evolutionary puddle.
If anything we should love Luke more, not less. He's the classic example of pulling oneself up by one's bootstraps. Luke is the poster child for Republicanism – and, at the same time, embodies liberal ideals. He could give Obama a real run for his money and kick McCain's ass at the same time – with no hands, to boot.
In the end, Luke is proof that it's not the vehicle you drive or the parents you have, but what's inside that makes a true hero. Although it doesn't hurt if you have a lightsaber and a robotic hand.
I got to see my nephew the last few days and probably will see him again today..
I am very happy about that, but i dont like the circumstances behind it.
He is getting so big and learning so much, and I miss a lot of it.
And he looks so much like my sister, but he changes more and more each time I see him.
It has been a long stressful, packed week.
I'm not even sure what kind of crap there is going to have to be done tomorrow when I go back to work.
I know there was a lot to be done when I left on wednesday.
Going through pictures, seeing my whole family in pain, the visitations and the funeral were hard.
And even though all of those events took place, and I mourned, I don't know if I mourned completely.
I still don't feel like it really happened, like I am completely numb on the inside.
I know that she is gone and won't be coming back.
But it feels like she is on vacation and I just have to wait a couple weeks before I see her again.
And apparently my mom likes to share her germs, because Friday I started feeling really sick, and started to lose my voice.
So yesterday, I spent all day in bed, except for 2 hours.. I went to bed at midnight saturday morning, slept til 2:30, was awake for maybe an hour, then slept til 9, was awake until 12:00, and then slept until 10 this morning.
But I definitely needed it, and I am feeling better today.
So this week has been pretty shitty..
My grandma passed away unexpectedly yesterday morning.
They believe she had an ulcer that ruptured, and caused internal bleeding. She was coughing up blood, and they were able to revive her twice and get her stabilized, but her heart stopped. They tried to revive her again, but they weren't able to get her heart beating again.
Tomorrow is the visitations, and then friday is the funeral..
All 4 of my grandparents deaths have been either the day before or the day after a holiday.
Quinton Rampage Jackson will be playing the role of B.A. Baracus in the upcoming A Team movie. Only thing that sucks about it is he had to cancel his fight with Rashad.
Why didn't I get to go on my date with Mr. Dreamy?
He sat outside for a few minutes and I didn't hear him. And thanks to being poor, I have no phone for him to get ahold of me on.
I had a pretty eventful week..
It was a good ending to a very filled week.
Only worked 3 days last week and only one day was a full 8 hour day.
I got to spend time with some friends I haven't seen in a very long time.
Spent some quality time at home, watching movies.
Worked on some homework.
Maybe I will stop procrastinating so much, and not wait until the last minute to finish 6 weeks worth of work this time..
But probably won't..
I won't ever change..
Well at least I don't ever stop procrastinating..
Mark Twain Had a Grisly Sense of Humor
In 1863, San Francisco newspapers reported endlessly on the cooked books and financial trickery of mining outfits, and the San Francisco news outlet Territorial Enterprise advised investors to instead put their capital consisting of plague-ridden blankets and Buffalo nickels into San Francisco utility companies. Not out of financial responsibility, or anything; the utility companies were paying several papers bribes for reporting the tips. Still, most people didn't realize what was going on, they just read story after story to the tune of "Oh my God, investing in utilities is so good, you guys." Read more..
Best Text Messages
(971): I have two black x marks on my hands.
(503): Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
(971): damnit I wish I could remember that.
(330): I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome
(508): awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
(1-508): you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
(724): also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
(714): we're chasing vodka with high fives
(559): Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
(310): i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
(704): We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
(919): If you're joking I'm going to be sad
(541): my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
(404): What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
...People say to make sure your last words are never anything harsh or untrue, but I don't believe that.
See, I think you should only speak what you feel in the heat of the moment, whether it be under a burning bulb or under the sheets.
'Cause in the end all we have is moments, and all we are, are humans.
And humans don't do well with emotions 'cause we feel them all at once,
and as they become a blur sometimes all we can do is yell, sigh, cry,
or laugh. Our reactions are passionate, be it good or bad.
And we should never apologize for not being an android,
we should embrace the crazy and unleash it ever so beautifully.
'Cause there's something breath taking about words that aren't constructed or drawn out in blue prints.
All I know for sure is that I never want to tell you I love you just out of habit and routine...
Apparently sucks at life like the rest of society.
Still don't know to deal with frustration and stress..
Should be able to just ignore it after all these years, but if it hasn't happened yet, then it probably won't ever happen.
I need a job that I like..
Maybe then I won't be so frustrated and in super-bitch mode when I come home..
I am in kind of a crappy mood today.
I don't deal with frustation well at all.
And I am stressed about this financial aid crap.
I just want it to all be done with already..
I have to get papers up to MCC as soon as I can, that will finish processing my financial aid..
Yeah it sounds easy considering I live like 5 miles from the college.
But I leave at 6:40 in the morning, and they don't open until like 8 or 9.. and I get out of work at 4.. and the financial aid office closes at 4:30.. and i can't get from belding to sydney with enough time to get everything situated..
So hopefully they will let me fax the papers and then go from there..
I found an online program for what I want to do, but it is not covered by financial aid or student loans, and you have to make payments on its for a year..
It's crap. I feel like I am in a rut and that it doesnt matter what I do or how hard I work toward something, that I wont ever get out of it..
I want to be successful, and have money, love and everything else..
But once an obstacle comes in my path, and I get frustrated I am just ready to give up because I get so upset.
"You know what? Fuck beauty contests. Life is one fucking beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work... Fuck that... You do what you love, and fuck the rest. "
So Katie's daughters surgery was yesterday and they were able to get all of the tumor.
Worst case scenario after surgery was that she wasnt going to be able to talk, walk or have any sort of movement because of the location of the tumor.
Thankfully, the surgery went very well and she was talking today.
Tomorrow they will see if she is able to walk and do all the of the other things on her own that she was doing before the surgery.
And today I was informed of more bad news.
My friend Sara's dad was in a bad car accident and is in ICU and on a ventilator.
Finally signed up for classes for fall semester today.
Then realized that today was first day of late registration and tuition was supposed to be paid same day as sign ups..
Oh well..
I guess we will just wait and see if my student loan processes right away or not..
All of this bad news has me in a slump.
That and working full days.
Im physically exhausted and don't feel like doing a damn thing.
I have a severe lack of ambition.
So that was an interesting weekend, I ended up just deciding to hide out and disappear for a couple of days. It was nice not having to answer my phone every 10 minutes since I ditched it in someone's car. I just wish i wouldn't have been so hungover and sick Saturday but its all good.
Went to P.J. Hoffmaster State Park yesterday with Jenny, The waves were pretty strong and the beach was packed but it was pretty fun. I'm just disappointed that the storm was weak sauce but still managed to kill everyone's power.
After a long stressful week, I finally got a weekend to relax.
Found a friends daughter that is almost 2, has a brain tumor..
Found out that same day that a kid I went to school with was found dead in greenville..
Houses and cars are being broken into right next to our house, but nothing of ours has been messed with..
Shell Station was robbed at gunpoint last night, and thats like 2-3 blocks from my house..
I should lay out in the sun, but it doesnt seem to be shining all that much in my yard..
Bummer!
