Alone

Alone

:: 2005 23 April :: 10.25pm
:: Mood: depressed

Okay, sorry about the last entry, I was just upset. I'm okay now? But anyway..

Jim came to pick me up at Beckys and we talked. We're still just friends, and we're both okay with that. But he does have a date tomorrow with some girl. I'm happy for him.. He was like "Jena, I do still love you. You know if anyone hurt you, I'd kill them." then he paused and said "But I know someone already hurt you by the way you're acting." Haha, it was cute. We went to Sheetz around 7:00 to get some gas, then we went out to the mall. I got a whole bunch of cute things and spent all my Kennywood money since I don't think I'm going anymore.

Yeah, I love you Becky and Amy.. thanks for being there for me. I know I let things get to me more than I should. But I'm okay now. :-P Love you girls..

4 Candles | Burned Out

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:: 2005 23 April :: 4.31pm
:: Mood: disappointed

Well this weekend sucked, I stayed over Amys.. Things happened, Jim 'found someone'. I suck, I'm over Beckys house right now.

So fuck you, and you and you. And just leave me alone.

k thanks!

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:: 2005 21 April :: 9.14pm
:: Mood: sad

School was okay, I brought in the 2 big bag of starbursts for study hall.. we had that ice cream party today for 7 & 8 period.. I walked around half the time. 'Cuz I'm a loser like that.. then after school I had to go with my Aunt Loraine to take care of somethings.. we stoped at Toys R Us, and we bought Gabrielle some clothes.

I came home and left again, Amy and I went up to Carmel Park to see George.. we hung out.

Then we dropped Amy back off at her house then I stopped at McDonalds then came home. Now here I am.

2 Candles | Burned Out

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:: 2005 20 April :: 10.23am
:: Mood: sad

Blahhh.. nothing's going right. I suck, I'm a loser. No wonder why no one likes me, and I have no friends. Ha.

4 Candles | Burned Out

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:: 2005 19 April :: 5.16pm
:: Mood: blah

Ahhh Mr. Malecki is finially back so we can actually talk again in study hall.. YESSSSSSSSsssssSSSSSSS

Today was good.

I don't really have anything else to say.

Burned Out

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:: 2005 18 April :: 9.03pm

TODAY- Amy, Becky, Kelly, Jake and I went to the baseball game. I went to see my best friend George play. He's the coooooooooolest guy I know.

It was a good time. ;)

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:: 2005 17 April :: 1.03pm
:: Mood: confused

So Jim and I are just friends now.

He's trying everything to get me to come back though.

He makes me feel guilty.

But I'm not happy anymore. I haven't been for a long time.

We'll see how things go.

2 Candles | Burned Out

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:: 2005 13 April :: 9.41pm
:: Mood: bored

Bridg picked me up at school today, then we stopped at McDonalds to get something to eat.

I went over Jims house about 6:00, then we drove out to McDonalds again to see all the teachers work.. we drove around for like an hour and a half to different places, we stopped and saw Ben he was walking somewhere.. then we went back to his house and chilled, then Gab him and I came back out here and then he went home.

BYE

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:: 2005 12 April :: 10.01pm
:: Mood: stressed

Yesterday Aunt Loraine, Donnie, Gabrielle, Gram and I went to get the rest of my things at Darlenes house [I no longer call her Mom.] We had stopped out at the Sand Bar to see if they were there, they weren't so we went to Jays Sports Bar because Matt told us they were there. So we went there and Anna was in the front room playing a game all by her self.. Darlene George and Samamtha were on the deck. They were yelling at her because she stole something. They were both drunk off their asses, sitting there telling Samantha in front of everyone. It had to have been embarassing for her. So I asked Darlene if when I stopped at their house if I could take the crib, or if she wanted it. She was like "No, it's mine- you can't have it." I said fine. Then my Aunt Loraine tried to talk to her and Darlene started yelling at her to get out of her face, to leave her alone and all this other stuff. So she went to try to talk to George about getting the old house tore down and he told her to "shut up and leave." So we left, I gave Anna a hug, and Samantha a kiss.

We went to the house and they had bolted the door shut so I couldn't get in with my key. I called Dustin and he said that he'd just come get me today and I could get my things. On our way back through Southpointe, I saw Samantha standing outside the bar so we stopped so I could see what was wrong. She was crying and saying that she hated Darlene and that she wanted to go live with her dad. I told her that if she ever needed anything or if she wanted me to go pick her up that all she needed to do is to call me.

An hour or so later Sam called and told me that Darlene hit her. So I told her to go up and just lock herself up in the bathroom.

I no longer talk to her, or want anything to do with her. If she's going to be like that- I'll do the same right back to her and throw it in her face. She can have Gabrielles crib. I'd much rather get another one than to use ANYTHING that she's bought Gabrielle.

Today was my Uncle Dons birthday so we had a little cake and everything for her.. it was nice Greg, Tiff, Hailey, and Jim came out.

<3

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:: 2005 9 April :: 11.28am
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: three doors down - loser

Everything's just pissing me off anymore.

So my mother stopped by my Aunt Loraines house Friday to see Gabrielle and my Gram I guess. She told my Gram that she was definitely not moving back to where we were.
My Mom and George went down to Flordia for last weekend- they're looking for a house. Good, let them leave I'm probably better off without them anyways.. I'll miss my sisters Sam and Anna. But what am I going to do? I don't know.. it just pisses me off that because I moved out- my Mom won't talk to anyone on our side of the family. Yeah, GROW UP! Live in REALITY- not your own little world! But whatever- once again what can I do about it?
I just feel bad for my sisters because they still have to deal with her and all her shit she puts everyone through.

I feel so dumb because I don't have anything anymore. It's weird. We were in Child Development Friday and Mrs. Taylor was like "all of you can bring in stuffed bears" I was like "well, I don't have one" and Sarah was like "Who doesn't have one??" Uhhh-- I don't! Everything in my house had to be replaced. Lol, it made me feel bad.. I'm more worried about getting Gabrielle everything that she needs more than I'm worried about myself. So whatever, I'd rather her have everything than myself.

But enough about depressing things.. let's go on about Friday night.
Amy & Beck came to pick me up and we rode around for a little while then we went to the talent show and worked the consession stands.. after that we went back to Amy's house, then drove down to Jims house and he drove us to Wal*Mart, then his Mom called and started screaming at him because she wanted the car.. uhhh- so we went back and he dropped us off then we all went back to Amys house and watched American Pie 2 then fell asleep.. this morning Becky went home then I came back here to Amys Grams house.. I'm going home sometime tonight, going to Janies birthday party, then tomorrow I'm heading back down Cokeburg with Jim.

Gabrielle is with my Aunt Loraine.

DEFINITELY FUN WITH THE GIRLS LAST NIGHT!! HAHA
No eggs Beck! -He was sleeping?!?! YEAHHHHHHH right. Who was SAM?? ;)

Good times- no drugs! ;)

5 Candles | Burned Out

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:: 2005 6 April :: 10.33am
:: Mood: content

I went to Jims house last night. He asked me why I was so happy.

:)

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:: 2005 2 April :: 1.35pm
:: Mood: bored

Report cards were given out on Friday. Yeahhhhh.. anyways.

Yesterday Gabrielle turned 6 months!! We had a little cake for her, we all bought her a little toy. She's to cute.

Today Bridg, Leah and I are hanging out.. Tomorrow I'm going to Jims I guess.

I'll update later. I'm going to get a shower.

1 Candle | Burned Out

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:: 2005 30 March :: 10.18am
:: Mood: bored

Back in Bentworth today.

My mom called last night and told me that she was going to call the cops on me if I didn't come home. I told her to call them because I wasn't coming home. Anyways my Aunt Di and Aunt Loraine talked to her or whatever.. but my mom was all mad still.

So much Drama.. tonight Aunt Loraine and I are going to Wal*Mart I think so I can get some things, then hopefully I can run to my moms house to pick up all of Gabs and Is things.

I'll update later.

2 Candles | Burned Out

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:: 2005 29 March :: 3.43pm

I'm coming back to Bentworth as of tomorrow or the next day.. (depending on when my Aunt can go in and sign papers)

I'm no longer speaking to my Mom.. a lot of things have happened over break.

Gabrielle and I staying with my Aunt Loraine for now.. I kinda hate staying out here only because I have to look at the house all the time. I walked down there today to look around. I just started crying. Just to lose everything. It's hard.

Anyways, no longer call my cell phone. My mom was paying for it. So I gave it back to her. new number: 258*6461

5 Candles | Burned Out

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:: 2005 23 March :: 10.09pm
:: Mood: crappy

Well, I think I'm going over Jims tomorrow.. I was supposed to go tonight but I just didn't call him back, so I guess I'm not. I have a CAD project to do anyway, it's worth liike 50 points so I really need to do it. But I didn't start yet.

A picture of Gabrielle and one of myself!!Read more..

ahhh, so today Geometery was dumb, we went over PSSA problems that would be on the PSSA test and I didn't know how to do like any of them.. haha. We got this 50 page packet that's due when we go back on Wed. Uhhh.. yeahh

English we didn't do anything-- as usual. All we ever do since I've been here is sit and talk. Anyways, I'm now reading 1984 by George Orwell.

Study Hall and lunch were boring, and long.

PE I walked on the track.. I'm actually exercising and sorta watching what I eat.. I'm losing weight little by little. My goal is like 120. I weigh 145 right now; I still have a long way to go.

Accounting we had to make a Journal on Excel, but yesterday mine didn't save so I had to start all over from scratch- ahhh die.

Child Care this little girl Natelie (I think that's her name) was throwing up all over the place so we had to call her Mom to come get her.. I felt bad because she looked so miserable.

CAD we just talked about cases that were happening all over the us, the one where the husband took the feeding tube out of his wife, the other one where 2 juviniles robbed and killed an elderly lady, and another where a teenager shot up his school just a few days ago.. I really like that class.
After class Greg (cute guy!) came up to me at my locker and was like "Hey Jena, I noticed you don't talk much in class, are you shy or what?" I was like "No, I'm actually really loud I'm just new so I kinda keep to myself." Then he walked me half way to class but had to go himself. He was like "see ya later" and touched my back, whoa. Haha, I'm so dramatic. Anyways, he's really nice.

Bio we just took a test- boring!

Tomorrow I'm going to Jims hopefully. He's gonna be mad at me for not calling him all day. I hate talking on the phone anymore.

11 Candles | Burned Out

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:: 2005 22 March :: 10.18pm
:: Mood: tired

SOOOO I finially got a new computer. Well we're renting one until we move into our new house.. I'm downloading everything right now it's going like 93583094758 miles an hour because I have DSL or whatever, so that's neat.

Canon Mac is okay I guess, people are nice- I have some friends. More guys than girls.. which is suprising. But whatever.. it's cool. There are some reeeeeally cute guys here, that's for sure.

My first period is Geometry Full, then I have English 11, then study hall, lunch, gym, Accounting 1, Child Care 2, CAD [12th grade Gov. and Econ.] ohh yeah me =smart. ha then my Bio class. There is so much walking to do, but it's okay I guess. I do miss everyone from Bentworth. *hugs*

Gabrielle is getting so big. I'd post a pic, but my digi cam was in the fire and it's ruined. But she's getting so much more cute every day. Definitely.

Blah, I just hate having to walk down to the bus stop.. I have to walk down the road. I'm just not used to it. I used to get rode up to the other bus stop, that was nice. Oh well, most of the time my Mom drives me down anyways. ;)

Last weekend was fun- Gabrielle and I stayed over Jims house. Friday we just hung out, Saturday Donna, Jim, Gabrielle and I went to see Jeff. He definitely grew up, he got a little taller, put on some weight, his voice got deeper, and all around looks a lot older. He gets to come home this coming weekend for Easter.. and every other weekend after that. That's cool- I'm actually glad he's coming home.

I just read a really good book, it's called Postcards from No Mans Land by Aidan Chambers

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