Aaron

"My love, my love, don't forsake me in this feild of ashes"...oh look, i get to spill my guts about tori and piss you off!
well, i might just go to bed after this. last noght seems so close. but you know what? i've been thinking alot (in know how frightened that makes some of you) and i've come apon a few major realizations. first is the one that what irina said was wrong. i have found love, and all those doubts and the facts for backing them up can go screw themselves. i know tori loves me. so yeah, she also said i could stop the rain, which has a hidden meaning, she said even though it cost me my heart, i stopped the rain for her. but i know i can't stop the rain for tori. but i can hold her, keep her warm, protect her, love her, and comfort her untill the rain goes away. rain is like love. it's a wonderful blissful and joyous thing, but it somehow puts a lump in your throat. it's meloncholy. it's innocent and subtle. it's like Lyra and wills first kiss. "like two moths clumsily bumping into eachother, and with no more weight than that, their lips thouched..." that's what love is. though it took webster seven eighths of a page in a dictionary i can sum love up with three words. Sublte, meloncholy, and the third word can't be spoken. it's one that exists no where in the english, or any other, language. but you knwo what it should be if you've ever been in love. it's a definition without a word. like mind without a body... i have a whole raging river in me that i can only let out with tori. i wish i had a minute alone with her. just one minute to talk. to hear what she says when her friends aren't around. to just be with her and be able, for one minute, a spand of sixty seconds, pretend the world doesn't exist, that it's just us two. i would really like to spend eternity like that, but that won't happen. we'd be lucky to have a minute. but you see, now we are almost one being. tori said so herself there are times when it's like she's feeling what i'm feeling, like she's in my head, and there are times when i feel that way about her. something about touch, physical touch does that to you... something about holding hands or huggin will just break every barrier and every blockade the other person put up. today she refused my hand because i hadn't told her what was wrong. it scared me. the holding hands isn't so wrong. i just want to be with her... more than anything in the hole world that's what i want.... it's strange, as i type this, i feel the water slowly leaking throught the flood gates, my emotions slowly spilling. i love her... i know how sick of hearing that you all are, but believe me, i do. i fought so hard to be able to really love her. and now i can. but i should really go to bed. i want to kiss her.... g'night.

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