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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2005 25 November :: 10.06pm

what the fuck. i am so fucking upset and mad right now. leave me alone for one, you. god. i'm not doing that

i'm not fucking going. how can you fuck up a family that bad. we are nothing fucking stupidj a;sdfkjasdfiojasdpfoij opifucking so fucking dumb.

that's not christmas or the fucking holidays. that's fucking BUSINESS . so damn fucking stupid. i'm not wasting my fucking life with that shit.

i can't wait to make my own and it will be a billion times better and we will never see you people ever again.

i feel like going and fucking offing myself.
fuck this stupid fucking shit.

1 comment | light my fire


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2005 25 November :: 6.18pm

..The Basics..
Gender?:female
Sexual Orientation?:straight
Single?:no sir
Would you like to be?:no
Birthday?:march 8 88
Age you act?:17 ish lol
Age you wish you were?:18 or 21
Height?:5-1
Eye color?:blue
Happy with it?:yeah i wish i was taller though well just so my legs weren't fat and short
Hair color?:brown
Happy with it?:sure
Left/right/ambidextrous?:lefty
Your living arrangement?:parents
Family?:dumb mostly
Job?:rosie's and lazer skate
Piercings?:ears
Tattoos?:not yet anyway
Obsessions?:love. eating :0(
Can you speak another language?:no
Favorite quote?:
Any webpages?:woohu
..Deep Thoughts..
Do you live in the moment?:not really kinda maybe
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?:yeah
Do you have any secrets?:not that i can think of . or not that at least one person doesn't know
Do you hate yourself?:not really hate. just dislike sometimes
Do you like your handwriting?:it's okay
Do you have any bad habits?:eating and being a baby
What is the compliment you get most from people?:eyes, smile
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?:One Fucked Up Little Girl
What's your biggest fear?:roman or jess or friend or family dying
Can you sing?:anyone can sing. question is can you sing good.
Do you ever pretned to be someone else just to look cool?:Yeah i pretend to be eminem all the time. People think it's really him.
Are you a loner?:psh
If you were another person, would you want to be friends with you?:probably not for the most part.
Are you a daredevil?:not usually
Is there anything you fear/hate about yourself?:yeah just how i am. and my weight and fat content and my face sometimes
Are you passive or agressive?:passive mostly agressive sometimes! lol
What is your greatest strength and weakness?:compassion and weakness would be staying strong lol
If you could change one thing about yourself?:thinner and prettier
There are three wells, love, beauty & creativity, which one do you choose?:i already have love so i'd go with beauty
How do you vent?:to roman or cry or other people
Do you think you are emotionally strong?:no
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing?:probably
Do you think life has been good so far?:neh
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?:al;lk
What do you like most about your body?:i'm not hideous
and least?:weight and fat
Do you find yourself attractive?:bleh
Are you confident?:no
What fictional character are you most like?:donald duck lol no
Do people know how you feel?:i dont know
Are you perceived wrongly?:yes
..Do you?..
Smoke?:no
Do drugs?:no
Read the newspaper?:sometimes
Pray?:yeah
Go to church?:not often or regularly
Talk to strangers who IM you?:yeah just to findo ut who they are
Sleep with stuffed animals?:roman's bear, Bryan
Take walks in the rain?:no not really
Talk to people even though you hate them?:no
Drive?:yes
Like to drive fast?:yes
..Have you ever?..
Hurt yourself?:whatd you say
Been out of the country?:no
Eaten something that made others sick?:um no i duno
Been unfaithful?:no
Been in love?:yes
Done drugs?:no
Gone skinny dipping?:no
Had surgery?:no
Ran away from home?:yes
Played strip poker?:no
Got beaten up?:lol no
Been picked on?:yeah
Been on stage?:yaeh
Slept outdoors?:yeah
Pulled an all-nighter?:yuea
What's your record?:i dont know
Talked on the phone all night?:yeah
Slept together with someone of the opposite sex but didn't have sex?:yes
Slept all day?:not realy
Killed someone?:yeah like 12
Made out with a stranger?:no
Had sex with a stranger?:no
Had sex at all?:a;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Thought you were going crazy?:;aaaaaaaaaaaaaa yup
Kissed the same sex?:no
Anything sexual with the same sex?:no
Been betrayed?:pretty much
Had a dream that came true?:yeah
Broken the law?:yeah
Met someone famous?:no
Killed an animal by accident?:yeah POOR POSSUM!! :0( i cried forever!
Stolen anything?:yeah
Been on the radio/TV?:yeah
Been in a mosh-pit?:no
Had a nervous breakdown?:yeah
Considered a religious vocation?:no
Been criticized about your sexual performance?:no
Bungee jumped?:no
Had a reoccuring dream?:eyah
..Clothing..
Shoe brand?:steve madden lol o whatwever
Clothing brand?:forever 21 or whatever*cries
Scent?:britney spears lol or aura or mary kate and ashley LA
Normal attire?:whatever
Do you wear hats?:no
Do you wear make-up?:yeah
Favorite place to shop?:forever 21
Favorite article of clothing?:hoodies
Are you trendy?:TRENYLICIOUS babe
Would you rather wear a uniform to school?:no
..Beliefs..
Life on other planets?:prob not
Miracles?:yeah
Astrology?:no
Magic?:maybe
God?:yeah
Satan?:yeah
Santa?:no
Ghosts?:duno
Luck?:yeah
Love?:yeah
Love at first sight?:no
Yin & Yang?:yeah
Witches?:no
Easter bunny?:no
Is it possible to be faithful forever?:deffinetly
Is there a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?:only in michael jackson's backyard
Do you wish on stars?:yeah
..Love..
Do you remember your first love?:yes
Still love him/her?:yes
Do you consider love a mistake?:not at all
What do you find romantic?:the beach, him singing to me, him playing guitar for me, telling me wonderful things
Turn-on?:strong back and arms, make me laugh, showers, being responsible
Turn-off?:smoking, irresponsibleness, stupidity
Do you go more by looks or personality?:a mix of course
Do you think the opposite sex finds you attractive?:well one does at least
What is best about the opposite sex?:getting love
and worst?:they dont realize mistakes sometimes
What's the last present someone gave you?:i dont remember
Are you in love?:yes
Is you signifcant other hot?:lol yeah
..The last person who..
Haunted you?:duno
You wanted to kill?:no one really
You laughed at?:jess g
Turned you on?:roman
You went shopping with?:jess g and jess h
Broke your heart?:roman
Disappointed you?:myself
Made you cry?:when i couldn't get into the college class at first
Brightened your day?:roman
You thought about?:well, roman
You saw a movie with?:jess g
You talked to on the phone?:roman
You talked to on IM:adam and dylan
You saw?:my mom
You lost?:hmm... duno?
You thought was insane?:myself pretty much
You told off?:duno
You trusted?:um.?
You turned down?:i dont wanna say!
..When was the last time you?..
Smiled?:like 2 secs
Laughed?:a while ago
Cried?:yesterday morning a little
Bought something?:movie ticket today
Danced?:a whiel
Were sarcastic?:every day
Hugged someone?:last nigth
Talked to an ex?:right now
Watched your favorite movie?:duno
Had a nightmare?:a few weeks ago
Talked on the phone?:today
Listened to the radio?:today
Watched TV?:today
Went out?:today
Helped someone?:today
Were mean?:today
Sang?:today
Saw a movie in a theater?:today
Said "I love you"?:today lol
Missed somone:today
Fought with a family member?:yesterday kinda
Fought with a friend?:a while ago
Had a serious conversation?:today
Got drunk?:;;;;;;;;;;;
Had sex?:;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Ten Song You Love
[x]:sprung
[x]:my humps
[x]:because of you
[x]:anytime
[x]:fur elise
[x]:jesu joy of man's desiering
[x]:christmas time is here
[x]:nutcracker shit
[x]:
[x]:
Nine Things That Make You Smile
[x]:roman
[x]:jess
[x]:jess g
[x]:hearing my humps come on the radio
[x]:dancing
[x]:laughing
[x]:roman's kiss
[x]:roman's laugh and smile
[x]:being tickled
Eight Things You Wear Daily?
[x]:underwear
[x]:mascara
[x]:bra
[x]:shirt
[x]:pants
[x]:perfume
[x]:a smile bitch
[x]:socks
Seven Things That Annoy You?
[x]:mean people
[x]:dumb people
[x]:college
[x]:future
[x]:parents
[x]:living here
[x]:not seeing roman
Six Things You're Looking Forward To?
[x]:living with roman
[x]:having a family
[x]:having kids
[x]:moving out
[x]:college (kind of)
[x]:being done wth high school foerever
Five Things You're Afraid Of
[x]:well there are only 3 spaces but okay
[x]:someoen i love dying
[x]:snakes

A decent but LONG survey brought to you by Bzoink

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2005 25 November :: 5.32pm
:: Music: heard em say

come back, lovey. :0(

PS: NEVER see the movie Rent!! It is... just ridiculous!! and i swear, i tried in every way to give it a chance!! I gave it numerous chances! but to no avail. it was just stupid and crazy!
"MOO WITH ME"

fuck that shit.

lol.

2 comments | light my fire


brokenmentality

:: 2005 25 November :: 2.49pm

the first year has come and gone... and couldnt have been any more beautifull than it was. you make it beautifull... well actually... together we made it beautifull.

yesterday was perfect. lots of food, family, and togetherness. exactly how it should have been. :)

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2005 25 November :: 6.10am

brrrr bitches! it's fucking freezing. my parents are crazy. it's 68 degrees.

i have to go babysit. i hope this day FLIES BY!!!!!!!!!!!!!


ugh !

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2005 24 November :: 11.12pm

be easy! don't make decisions when you're mad!
I miss that beautiful man of mine. He is having fun though and I'm happy for him. I think he needs a break from college stress.

Hey, I am officially a college student now. I am enrolled in Comparitive Governments at GRCC. Cool huh? Scoooore. I was supposed to be in Psychology 201 but then found out today that it was full. I was so mad and spent THREE HOURS finding a class that was available, that transfered into something for my ferris nursing degree and something that was relavent! or something.. yeah. cooliessssss

jess you a weird mothafucker.

I seriously am getting fat and i'm going to take pe next semester cuz i really UGH. And jess i'm trying those things again. Maybe they wont give me a heart attack this time. they'll just eat it away slowly. Whatever, I always wanted to be the first to die in a marriage anyway.

What am iI talking about? HA

I can't wait until things are just STRAIGHT.
I have to babysit at 6:30 AM tomorrow. It was supposed to be 4:45 am, but Jim will be home so i get to arrive a bit later.

i like stuffing and chocolate chip pumpkin bread.
*Sigh*.

goodnight,
jess.

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2005 23 November :: 10.07pm

ugh people annoy me. i had fun with jess last night though

k i've had enough. come home. now.

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2005 22 November :: 2.44pm

UGHGGHGHGHGHGH
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well since my page is already big, i decided i'd make yours big too.

sometimes i just want nothing more than to leave school WAIT a second. what did i just say? oh wait. i always want to leave school. i absolutely hate it. i'm thankful for a few things this year. Roman, friends, and having this be my last year of high school.

anyway. me and jess are going shopping and i am getting really excited. i have no money to spend but a few gift certificates and i dont really care because i just think it will be fun because me and jess dont spend enough time together anymore.

i must just have serious jealousy issues. i'm just not good enough. whatever.

wait one more thing, am i seirously like HIDEOUSLY UGLY or what? why does everyone do that to me??! i hate people! especially mean ones!

2 comments | light my fire


brokenmentality

:: 2005 22 November :: 9.35am

on a side note... can we say irresponsible.

*rolls eyes... moron.

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brokenmentality

:: 2005 22 November :: 8.58am

ok... in case anybody was NOT aware.. which im assuming most are not... the Holly Hop this year is a semi formal dance just like swirl or homecomming and is on saturday december 17th. yes ladies.. this means pretty dresses. ok, now im getting fairly frustrated.... and just for your further reference it is the freshmen that are planning this dance. if you knew about the dance prior to this entry please comment and tell me how you found out.... im trying to see how many people have actually HEARD hazels "announcements" because i havent... and he cant get it through his head that nobody is aware of when or what the dance is. most people only know of it through "rumors" or from me. so yeah... please comment on this issue.. EVERYONE... PLEASE.. because im very displeased with the planning of this event.



in other news.... *ponders if displeased is even a word* things have been going fairly smoothly. (in all aspects)

thursday is mine and keegans first year.... thats what we've decided to call it. why limit ourselves to "one" when we can say it's the first. its on thanksgiving.. so the day will be filled with family, food, and lots of US time. i think it works out nicely because we REALLY have something to be thankfull for. :)

GUESS what.... keegans dance crew (61syx technique) just got hired by the GR Rampage to dance at all their home games. its a paid contract deal and they're getting sponsered by a gym... they'll get jerseys with their BBoy names on em, 2 free tickets each to all the games and lots of publicity. im so excited for them! there's 5 of them... which just goes to show how good they are.. to get such an amazing opportunity... not to mention all the money they'll be making. *smiles....... as if enough people dont recognize keegan wherever we go... the guy told them that about 9 thousand people come to each game.. and there's 8 home game games.... say about 72 thousand people... yeah.. i'd say this is their big break! im so proud......

i'm VERY MUCH looking foward to sleeping in everyday of break. i have to work every day but thursday though.... aww well. i think friday im gonna get up really early and go shopping. i'd like to get a video camera for my mom for christmas.. figure that'd be the best day to get a good deal on one.

so yeah... i think that about covers it..

2 comments | light my fire


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2005 21 November :: 11.01pm

ugh seriously that's all


\and freakin hypnotism is weird shit. "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM????? SHUT THE HELL UP. SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! I AM YOUR MOMMA!!"

hhahaa . it was fun but i'm sad. like x124125123512351235 million.

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bleedingsun

:: 2005 21 November :: 5.43pm
:: Music: the Mars Volta

Always the optimistic one

So...biology. I have a lunch detention tomorrow, because I didn't finish my packet. First of all, I didn't know the packet was due. She says it was on the board. It wasn't. If it was, I would have done it. I'm not the kind of kid who just doesn't do a 100 point assignment. Second of all, even if I had known I had to do it, I wouldn't have been able to. This shit is so confusing. I have to read a paragraph like 4 times before I even begin to comprehend it. Oh, and guess what.

The test is tomorrow.

At least tomorrow is the last day before vacation. And today is seven months.

Time flies.

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bleedingsun

:: 2005 21 November :: 6.20am

Good morning

I would like to crawl out of my clothes and fall back into bed and wrap the blankets around myself and just drift back to sleep.

Why? Not because I'm tired, no. It's just because I don't want to face the massive amount of homework I'll recieve, and the dirty looks I'll get from the homework I didn't even attempt. Oh, and the test I have today which I haven't read the chapter for.

Fuck.

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shannonw55

:: 2005 20 November :: 8.06pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: John Mayer - City Love

6
I found a new favorite song for the time being.
"I tell everyone
I smile just because
I've got a city love
I found it in Lydia
And I can't remember life before her name"

Anywho,
The play is over. I can't even express how much of a downer it is. I really hope I did my best. I hope I get the chance to do something like that again, cuz it was the coolest experience I've had in quite some time. It's just gonna be so strange to go to school tomorrow and not have play practice. I just feel like I wasted the experience and didn't make it as good as it could have been. I never had the time to make it perfect. But I guess it was as good as I could get it, eh?
I'm happy I got to be in it.

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brokenmentality

:: 2005 19 November :: 10.06am

the play is going really well.

and if anyone ever goes to eat at the IHOP on the beltline i will personally kick your ass for being stupid. im sure ashley will too. that place can burn....

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