To be, or not to be,--that is the question:-- Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them?--To die,--to sleep,-- No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to,--'tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish'd. To die,--to sleep;-- To sleep! perchance to dream:--ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause: there's the respect That makes calamity of so long life; For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely, The pangs of despis'd love, the law's delay, The insolence of office, and the spurns That patient merit of the unworthy takes, When he himself might his quietus make With a bare bodkin? who would these fardels bear, To grunt and sweat under a weary life, But that the dread of something after death,-- The undiscover'd country, from whose bourn No traveller returns,--puzzles the will, And makes us rather bear those ills we have Than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience does make cowards of us all; And thus the native hue of resolution Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought; And enterprises of great pith and moment, With this regard, their currents turn awry, And lose the name of action.--Soft you now! The fair Ophelia!--Nymph, in thy orisons Be all my sins remember'd."

 

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:: 2004 1 April :: 11.47 am

Suddenly something I'm not
You're something that you bought
Was it something I said, my friend
A little girl are you tripping on this
Are you tripping all over it
You better come up for air

Story about a girl
My
Story about the world
My

And are you waking up slowly
You're nothing but lonely
Are you waking up holding
Holding your breath
And are you looking for something
I promised you one thing
I promise I'll always
Always be
There

Baby girl, stand up and fight
This is not some paradise
Oh it's just where we live
And finally you think you're alright
And that it eats you up alive
You better get used to it

Story about a girl
My
Story about the world
My

And are you waking up slowly
You're nothing but lonely
Are you waking up holding
Holding your breath
And are you looking for something
I promised you one thing
I promise I'll always
Always be there

With all my faith
And all my heart
And all those simple things you are

I know
It's stuck inside your head
You're alone
You better get used to it
And I know
The feeling has to end
You're strong
It sucks you in again
And you're lost
You can't make any sense
This world
It tears you limb from limb
And hold on
You're nothing but the best

And are you waking up slowly
You're nothing but lonely
Are you waking up holding
Holding your breath
Are you looking for something
I promised you one thing
I promise I'll always
Always be there

With all my faith
And all my heart
And all those simple things you are

With all my faith
And all my heart
And all those simple things you are

Wish to be Enlightened?

:: 2004 31 March :: 12.48 pm

We stumble in a tangled web,
decaying friendships almost dead
And hide behind a mask of lies
We twist and turn and we avoid,
all hope of salvage now devoid
I see the truth inside your eyes
So take all this noise into your brain
and send it back again
I'll bear the cost, shed my skin, call
you up and then...
I'll say the words out loud

[chorus:]
You could resurrect a thousand
words to deceive me more and more
A thousand words will give the
reasons why I don't need you
anymore

Time manipulates your heart,
preconceptions torn apart
Begin to doubt my state of mind
But I won't go down on what I said
I won't retract convictions read
I may perplex, but I'm not blind
So take all this noise into your brain
and send it back again
I'll bear the cost, shed my skin, call
you up and then...
I'll say the words out loud

[chorus:]

I'll say the words out loud. I'll say a
thousand words or more

Manipulation. Fabrication.
Conversation. Annihilation
I'll say a thousand words or more
Damnation. Frustration. Elevation.
Procreation
I'll say a thousand words or more

Wish to be Enlightened?

:: 2004 30 March :: 1.24 pm

Heaven, is this heaven where we are? See them walking, if you dare, if you call that walking. Stumble, stagger, fall and drag themselves along the streets of heaven.
Where is the blessed table to feed all who hunger on earth, welcomed and seated each one joyfully served? See them walking, if you dare, if you call that walking. Stumble, stagger, fall and drag themselves along the streets of heaven.
Where is the halo that should glow 'round your face, and where are the wings that should grow from your shoulder blades? Show them to me.
These are sobering sights I've seen in the City of Angels have all been one rude awakening that was dues to me in heaven.
There would have been heavenly music I was convinced before. A host of the dearly to meet me with Hosannas sung at the door, but these are sobering sights I've seen in the City of Angels have all been one rude awakening that was dues to me in heaven. In this city of fallen angels.

Wish to be Enlightened?

:: 2004 29 March :: 11.48 am

A hundred days had made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder
And I don’t think I can look at this the same
But all the miles had separate
They disappeared now when
I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me

The miles just keep rolling
As the people either way to say hello
I hear this life is overrated
But I hope it gets better as we go

I’m here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, girl it’s only you and me

Everything I know
And anywhere I go
It gets hard
But it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it’s all said and done
It gets hard
But it won’t take away my love

I’m here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, girl it’s only you and me

I’m here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, girl it’s only you and me

4 Said Yes | Wish to be Enlightened?

:: 2004 26 March :: 12.05 pm

Postcards on the floor
But this pen, it can't write loneliness no more
Waking up all alone
On the opposite side of the coast
I'm committed insecurity and you

And love is overrated
It leaves you devastated
Heart ripped in two

Roadside state of mind
Boulevard of broken dreams washed out this time after time
I was lost and looking
But knew I'd never find what is mine
In a world that's so unkind

And love is overrated
It leaves you devastated

The only things I know are road signs and rock songs and lonely hotel rooms
But still I need you here, what's new?

it's 6 a.m. Las Vegas doesn't look so cool
And once the sun comes up
I draw the blinds and I dream of you

I'm committed to all these memories of you
And love is overrated
It leaves you devastated
Love is overrated

Wish to be Enlightened?

:: 2004 26 March :: 11.59 am

Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a blowtorch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning

So tired that I couldn’t even sleep
So many secrets I couldn’t keep
Promised myself I wouldn’t weep
One more promise I couldn’t keep

It seems no one can help me now
I’m in too deep; there’s no way out
This time I have really led my self astray

Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I’m neither here nor there

Can you help me remember how to smile?
Make it somehow all seem worthwile?
How on earth did I get so jaded?
Life’s mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just a-drownin’ in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train

And everything seems cut-and-dried
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don’t believe it

Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I’m neither here nor there

Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughing at the rain
A little out of touch, a little insane
It’s just easier than dealing with the pain

Runaway train, never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I’m neither here nor there

Runaway train, never coming back
Runaway train, tearing up the track
Runaway train, burning in my veins
I run away, but it always seems the same

Wish to be Enlightened?

:: 2004 26 March :: 11.50 am

Sirus Jones 1810 to 1913
Made his great-grandchildren believe
you could live to 103,
103 is forever when your'e just a little kid
Sirus Jones lived forever

Gravedigger, when you dig my grave
could you make it shallow
so that i could fee the rain

Clarience Stonewall 1901 to 1954
She lost both her babies in the
second great war
Should never have to watch your
babies be put down in the gound
You should never bury your own babie

Gravedigger, when you dig my grave
could you make it shallow
so that i could fee the rain

Gravedigger, when you dig my grave
could you make it shallow
so that i could fee the rain, yeah

So alone
It's all gone
It's all gone

Gravedigger, when you dig my grave
could you make it shallow
so that i could fee the rain

Little Mikey Carson, 67 to 75
Rode his bike like the devil
untill the day he died
When he grows up he wants to be
Mr. Vertigo on the flying tapease
1950 to 1992

Gravedigger, when you dig my grave
could you make it shallow
so that i could fee the rain

Gravedigger, when you dig my grave
could you make it shallow
so that i could fee the rain

Gravedigger.

Wish to be Enlightened?

:: 2004 25 March :: 12.58 pm

Here in this diary,
I write you visions of my summer.
It was the best I ever had.
There were choruses and sing-alongs,
and not a spoken feeling.
I'm knowing that right now is all that matters.
All the nights we stayed up talking
and listening to 80's songs;
quoting lines from all those movies that we love.
It still brings a smile to my face.
I guess when it comes down to it...

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up:
These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters
is just following your heart
and eventually you'll finally get it right.

Breaking into hotel swimming pools,
and wreaking havoc on our world.
Hanging out at truck stops just to pass the time.
The black top's singing me to sleep.
Lighting fireworks in parking lots,
illuminate the blackest nights.
Cherry cokes under this moonlight summer sky.
2015 Riverside, it's time to say, "goodbye."
Get on the bus, it's time to go.

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up:
These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters
is just following your heart,
and eventually you'll finally get it right.

1 Said Yes | Wish to be Enlightened?

:: 2004 24 March :: 11.43 am

Days swiftly come and go.
I'm dreaming of her
She's seeing other guys
Emotions they stir
The sun is gone.
The nights are long
And I am left while the tears fall.

Did you think that I would cry,
on the phone?
Do you know what it feels like,
being alone?
I'll find someone new

Swing, Swing, Swing from the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again.

Wish cast into the sky
I'm moving on
Sweet beginnings do arise
She knows I was wrong
The notes are old,
They bend, they fold
and so do I to a new love.

Bury me
(you thought your problems were gone)
Carry me
(away. away, away...)

2 Said Yes | Wish to be Enlightened?

:: 2004 22 March :: 1.13 pm

I know, I know.

You all thought that I jumped off of the GH Pier again, and died. But I didn't. So HA!

2 Said Yes | Wish to be Enlightened?

:: 2004 3 March :: 12.16 pm

Abortion...
an ugly word, an uglier practice. It is the new holocaust, hands down. A nation that slaughters its most innocent. Doesn't bode well, does it?

1 Said Yes | Wish to be Enlightened?

:: 2004 2 March :: 12.29 pm

I know I haven't posted in a while, so here's an update on my life:


There it was, hope you enjoyed it!

Wish to be Enlightened?

:: 2004 6 February :: 12.03 pm

I've been thinking for a long time
About the time we've been apart,
Too long, too often.
I cannot wait until I again can
See your face,
Hear your voice,
And embrace that which I have
For endless lifetimes loved.
I worry...
I worry of what he will do,
Would do if ever it was made known.
I long to again see the face
Of those which should have been mine,
Which could have been mine,
Which still could be mine...
Naught I fear save these,
A lifetime in seclusion
And that which may be taken yet from me,
And what I will do if such disaster should happen...
And but one more,
I fear my heart grows black,
A lifetime unloved and rejected,
An eternity unsung...

2 Said Yes | Wish to be Enlightened?

:: 2004 2 February :: 12.29 pm

The Ataris - Your Boyfriend Sucks

You're better off without him
Don't call him
He's breaking your heart

He's hanging with your best friend
And you're waiting there
It's tearing you apart
He lied to you a thousand times
When I was there, he kept you waiting

And I'm still here
Waiting there
To catch you if you fall
I don't know why I care so much
When I shouldn't care at all

Finally got the nerve to tell you
How much you mean to me
You said that I was your best friend
A real sweet guy
But that's all I'd ever be

The Ataris - The Hero Dies in this One
As I leave here today, apartment 108
I'll always keep you in my heart.
Anderson is cold tonight,
The leaves are scattered on the ground.
I miss the seasons,
And the comfort of your smile.

Sometimes this all feels like a dream.
I'm waiting for someone to just wake me up,
From this life.

As I look out at these fairgrounds,
I remember how our family split apart.
I don't think I ever told you,
But I know you always did your best.
And the hard times,
They only made us stronger.

As I sit here all alone,
I wonder how I'm suppose to carry on when you're gone.
I'll never be the same without you,
I love you more then you will ever know.
So maybe now you finally know.
Sometimes we're helpless and alone,
But you can let it keep you weighted down.
You must go on.

Do you ever feel like crying?
Do you ever feel like giving up?
I raise my hands up towards the sky,
I say this prayer for you tonight,
Because nothing is impossible.

As I sit here all alone,
I wonder how I'm suppose to carry on when you're gone.
I'll never be the same without you,
I love you more then you will ever know.
So maybe now you finally know.
Sometimes we're helpless and alone,
But you can let it keep you weighted down.
You must go on.

(The hardest part isn't finding who we need to be, it's being content with who you are.)

Stay who you are.
You must go on.
Stay who you are. (x4)

2 Said Yes | Wish to be Enlightened?

:: 2004 29 January :: 11.22 am

Stupid people are retarded. On a side note, if you're female, do NOT drink the water, under any circumstances! I repeat: DO NOT DRINK THE WATER! Almost evey girl I know is pregnant, so just be warned.

6 Said Yes | Wish to be Enlightened?

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