joslyn_julia
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2005 19 October :: 8.38pm
so i have to ask my sweet. will you ever love me or will this always be an unrequited desire.
i have to know, i just can't bear this deafening silence. please give me an answer before this gun is drawn to my sweet full lips that once kissed you so tenderly...
i have to know darling, will it hurt you to know that i am gone?
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kitty2004
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2005 19 October :: 5.06pm
All the good things our elders have to teach us!
Paul Harvey Writes:
We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.
I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.
I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.
I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.
And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.
I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room,but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.
When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.
I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.
On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.
If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.
I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.
When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.
I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.
May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.
Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.
Send this to all of your friends. We secure our friends, not by accepting favors, but by doing them.
Wish to be Enlightened?
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joslyn_julia
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2005 18 October :: 10.03pm
i may be coming home this weekend...
would you care to see me darlings?
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joslyn_julia
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2005 17 October :: 11.50pm
it's times like these...
that i wonder if he misses me
i wish things in the past would have ended better
i want to be at home
i really wish people would stop fighting in the hall
i wish i could be laying in his bed... and that him isn't mike
i wish i wasn't at school...
Wish to be Enlightened?
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joslyn_julia
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2005 16 October :: 3.55pm
i feel sick
dad found new job
dad hates mike
i don't blame dad, but also try to convince him it isn't mike's fault
i miss mike
had crazy dreams about him while i stayed in boys rooms
i can't figure out if the dreams are premonitions or my subconcious trying to make me feel better
cigs smoked today: 2
amount of wanting to puke: 40
Wish to be Enlightened?
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kitty2004
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2005 16 October :: 8.48am
well not a lot is going on here. Kyra is gettin bigger by the minute. just a couple of days ago we noticed that Kyra was gettin two more upper teeth! well any way Love to all,
Kat
2 Said Yes |
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joslyn_julia
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2005 16 October :: 1.41am
as to that last entry. yes, staying there again tonight.
sober
and much more fun... did i mention that my sweet bernadette was there.
oh yes.
and nothing happened with the boys... you dirty little children.
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joslyn_julia
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2005 15 October :: 4.04pm
i just lied through my teeth to make some guy leave me alone. i had to say i had a boyfriend, and say that i see him alot. ect. oh god.
pardon me....
ROFL
2 Said Yes |
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joslyn_julia
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2005 15 October :: 11.02am
last night was fun. how about we go do it again tonight, hey.
i mean getting drunk and then convincing some boys that you just met to let you stay over... and stay in their clothes. oh yes. good times.
2 Said Yes |
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joslyn_julia
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2005 14 October :: 11.53am
so my room mate left this morning and i didn't know where she went to. so i got up and took a shower, and being the exhibitionist that i am decided not to get dressed. and then she came back and saw me naked. and it was creepy. and i felt very violated.
but she only really saw my back. so that was good... but still definitley scary.
3 Said Yes |
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jburt1
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2005 14 October :: 1.03am
What am I doing with my life?
This is my dream. Right now. The one that I'm living. I'm going to school in Chicago. But something's not right. It's not like I came here and was instantly happy. I'll admit, I am extremely satisfied with my decision to come here, and I am happy, most of the time. But sometimes I just question what I'm doing with my life.
Business. Is that what I'm meant to do for the rest of my life? Is it something I will enjoy? Do I have what it takes to be a leader in that realm? Who knows.
I'm also questioning my morals. Yeah, I go to church. Get slightly more out of it than I usually do at home. But I still drink. I still am curious when it comes to smoking pot (something i haven't done) and I am still looking to further my sexual experience. Is it bad that I want to have sex, even though I'm not in "love" or any form thereof? Would it be bad if I lost my virginity for the sake of losing it? Probably. But I still feel the pressure to lose it.
I'm not the person I envisioned myself being by any means. You know, when I was in grade school I used to picture myself being the all-star athlete in high school. What a joke. The picture i had for my college self was a self-assured, confident, all-around nice guy. As cheasy as it sounds, I thought I'd be someone of Character, Compassion, Committment. Maybe I am and I don't know it. But more than anything I am human.
I guess I just wanted to get some of this out of my system.
3 Said Yes |
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joslyn_julia
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2005 13 October :: 4.21pm
:: Music: the postal service
I'm fine, K? i mean seriously, i will be fine...
just let me curl up in my bed this weekend and cry. after a few days of starvation, and crying and sad music... i think i will be okay.
maybe i should get councelling... that way i can figure out when it was that i messed up... and figure out why it is that no one can love me
*sigh*
i don't want to take my fucking midterms... i just want to die.
1 Said Yes |
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joslyn_julia
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2005 13 October :: 10.28am
pardon me while i go remove my heart. it appears i don't need it anymore...
10 Said Yes |
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joslyn_julia
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2005 12 October :: 2.40pm
:: Mood: aggravated
i love how men think that i never use my brain. did you ever consider that either 1. i don't care what you think of me or 2. i am doing something that i think will benifit the person that i care about.
seriously, do not make threats at me. it is childish. if you want her to love you, grow the fuck up. she might love you now, but you have alot of maturing to do before either of you should plan on staying together for ever.
and now what i really wanted to say...
i love mike, i am going to visit him. idk when, but if there is one thing i know, different people need different solutions, and mine would be to go see this boy before i throw away the feelings that i have for him.
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joslyn_julia
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2005 11 October :: 11.49pm
i think i have a stalker... i don't like it so much.
and i want my micheal back*sniff sniff*
2 Said Yes |
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