xjayk
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2006 6 March :: 9.27pm
I think I like my school schedual the way it is right now, I only have my first three hours I actually had a fourth but my teacher kicked me out of her class saying she didn't want any "failures" in her class. Eh, *shrug* it wasn't just me she kicked out so I didn't feel completely singled out. I tend to look on the brightside of things at least I don't have to sit next to someone who finds it nessasary to scream when upon talking to you, and I don't have to put up with a bitchy teacher. Well that one anyways.
So today I had gotten out one hour early from class, Thaddeus picked me up and we went out to the mall where he bought me a few things consisting of a corset, a HIM shirt ,and some awesome gloves. He spoils me. I don't find it fair I'm not able to buy him things when he goes out of his way to make me happy. But I'll tell ya, if I could buy the world it would be his. Buut since I cannot I went out and bought stuff to make dinner with all the dimes in my house. My way of repaying him until later.
hasten to drown into beautiful eyes..
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xjayk
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2006 4 March :: 10.00pm
I'm almost to the border of Tennesee right now to visit Miss Abby for her birthday party. Other than my mother and I nearly losing our minds because of the three year old screaming my aunts name in the seat directly across from us it was a good day. I went to the mall with Trever and Abbs so of course we had to go through the pet store.
Abby: I want a puppy
Me: you just got a new one hun for your birthday, she's waiting for you at home.
Abby: I want another one.
Me: I cant afford that, plus your going to get sick of it as soon as you get it home
Abby: no I wont
Me: fine then you can clean its poo
Abby: nevermind
By the way though we are not on good terms I would like to give thanks to Sirus for the layout, though I've done it before I thought I'd give credit again for his wonderful work.
1 sigh |
hasten to drown into beautiful eyes..
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xjayk
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2006 19 February :: 10.50am
Well this weekend has been pretty shitty, my stomach is going to explode, my computers ip adress was changed by Christina then we had to have my aunt that lives in Kentucky fix it up for us. So chrissy was lucky she didn't have to pay $160 for repair... well I have to get ready to leave. Going to head off to my dads.
hasten to drown into beautiful eyes..
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xjayk
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2006 23 January :: 6.42pm
:: Music: P.O.D - Goodbye for Now
Bury it deep, so far that you can't see
"I think the worst part of holding on is letting Go"
----edit----
It's hard watching everything you worked for in the past crumble in your hands and drift away like ash caught in the wind. For years I've tried to get things to work out but it seems tonight when I finally look at the end result I realize all I have left are empty memories. No emotion or meaning latched to them any longer. After all thats what they are...just memories. Memories that I thought would last forever I now am letting them go.
Realizing what I'm doing is probably the hardest thing yet and knowing of all the people I'm discarding along with this clean out memorie process to me is now no longer of any importance. For if they were not just a memorie, I could still go to them and talk about what will be going on in the next few hours or even days, its not like that anymore. I can't remember the look of your eyes, smell of your hair, or any of the stupid things you said to make me laugh when I needed it. Everything is gone. Don't feel bad, after all you were the one whom wanted this to happen. Don't feel any remorse or rejection I've felt enough for the both of us. I saw this coming, and I blindly steped into it. Could have it been prevented? I think not, your happieness means more to me than my own. Soon it wont though, your memorie is becoming short...and yet I don't feel any lighter, perhaps I need to finish cleaning out your memorie.
Minutes seem like days with every closing word we speak. Knowing the end is near can draw fear into the eyes of even the most noble of men, and yet I still don't feel any relief. Shrug it off and let slide another memorie.
Goodbye For Now
by P.O.D.
album: Testify (Jan.24) (2006)
I can still see the light at the end of the tunnel shine,
Through the dark times even when I lose my mind.
But it feels like no one in the world is listenin',
And I can't ever seem to make the right decisions.
I walk around in the same haze, I'm still caught in my same ways.
I'm losing time in these strange days,
But somehow I always know the right things to say.
I don't know what time it is,
Or who's the one to blame for this.
Do I believe what I can't see?
And how do you know which way the wind blows?
Cause I can feel it all around,
I'm lost between the sound.
And just when I think I know, there she goes.
Goodbye for now, Goodbye for now (so long)
Goodbye for now,
I'm not the type to say I told you so.
Goodbye for now (so long)
I think the hardest part of holding on is lettin' it go.
When will we sing a new song? A new song.
I'm still smiling as the day goes by,
And how come nobody ever knows the reasons why?
Bury it deep, so far that you can't see.
If your like me, who wears a broken heart on your sleeve,
Pains and struggles that you know so well,
Either time don't, it can't, or it just won't tell.
I'm not the type to say I told you so,
I think the hardest part of holding on is lettin' it go.
I don't know what time it is,
Or who's the one to blame for this.
Do I believe what I can't see?
And how do you know which way the wind blows?
Cause I can feel it all around,
I'm lost between the sound.
And just when I think I know, there she goes.
Goodbye for now, Goodbye for now (so long)
Goodbye for now,
I'm not the type to say I told you so.
Goodbye for now (so long)
I think the hardest part of holding on is lettin' it go.
When will we sing a new song? A new song.
When will we sing a new song? A new song.
And you can sing until there's no song left (song left)
And I can scream until the world goes deaf (goes deaf)
For every other word left unsaid,
You should've took the time to read the signs
And see what it meant (what it meant)
In some ways everybody feels alone,
So if the burden is mine then I can carry my own (carry my own)
If joy really comes in the morning time,
then I'm gonna sit back and wait until the next sunrise.
Goodbye for now, Goodbye for now (so long)
Goodbye for now,
I'm not the type to say I told you so.
Goodbye for now (so long)
I think the hardest part of holding on is lettin' it go.
When will we sing a new song? A new song.
When will we sing a new song? A new song.
Its a new Day
12:59
hasten to drown into beautiful eyes..
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silver
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2006 23 January :: 2.08pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: the strokes
I've got the worst little flu-bug known to man.
ah, well, i'll get better soon.
i hope to paint in about an hour,
once I finish studying.
curse schoolwork.
<3kaye.
1 sigh |
hasten to drown into beautiful eyes..
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silver
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2006 22 January :: 8.05pm
:: Mood: optimistic
i feel very open and I like how this is kindof a private blog thing.
2 sighs |
hasten to drown into beautiful eyes..
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silver
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2006 22 January :: 5.46pm
so this is kaye and I am excited because Sirus is amazing for making this mine and making the graphics and all of that.
even if you're not a member you can comment, just include your name.
<3kaye
2 sighs |
hasten to drown into beautiful eyes..
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silver
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2006 22 January :: 5.20pm
Transfer of ownership.
This now belongs to Kaye.
Yep.
hasten to drown into beautiful eyes..
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xjayk
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2006 21 January :: 9.54pm
:: Music: Static X- Kill you Idols
I love waking up in the mornings to have the people I love lying next to me. This morning when I woke I saw my little girl huddled agenst me. I fell asleep last night while waiting for her arrival so it caught me as a plesant surprise.
After we both got our sweaters on we headed upstairs to check on Marley Rose. I sat next to the couch adjacent to her and said "morning" she looked at me smiled and said "Hi" it was a big deal to me. The first word I ever heard her speak.
After playing for a bit then going out for lunch we went home. My mission, to get Abigail Grace to take a nap. Easily enough we were both tired so we layed down for a nap together and again when I woke up she was clinging to me. And when she awoke it was off to CRAZY BOUNCE. Sadly once we got there they closed the doors on us saying that they had a private party scedualled and we were not able to enter. Sooo across the street we went to Chucky Cheese. Abbys' favorite place in the world. After three or four hours there we were all pretty sick of that place so we went to Starbucks then Panarea Bread for bagles. And finally home.
Uncle Bob and Aunt Michelle had a surprise for Christina. I guess they got her an ipod. Chrissys' been wanting one for some time now and Gary had to put his two sense in and say how Chrissy shouldn't have one. By telling my mom this she spinelessly went to my aunt and told her how it could become a problem. Now I'm sure my sister no longer will have that gift. I don't understand him, good things happen to good people that just so happens to be my sister. Perhaps he's jelous no one goes out of there way to do anything nice for him, after all he doesn't do squat for anyone else.
1 sigh |
hasten to drown into beautiful eyes..
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xjayk
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2006 20 January :: 9.28pm
Here I am waiting for her to arrive. Abigail Grace and
Marely Rose are both coming tonight. It has been about a month since I've seen them and I've missed them both so much. I'm tired but I'm willing to stay up all night waiting for them two. Hopefully one day they move back up here. It's a terrible seven 1/2 hour drive there and back, depending on if you speed or not. Much to far for my favorite little girls be.
hasten to drown into beautiful eyes..
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