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2005 28 April :: 8.15pm
Well final fitting went....well. my pants look funny and ryan gorder and his gang of retarts were at the tux shop and getting fitted to so well they were assholes and totally droping f-bombs in front of these two little kids and like harrassing the clerks and shit. I got megans corsage. its pink and really pretty like roses i think i dont know but its totally pink licious and it makes me smile to think that i have a date to prom who i know will enjoy dancing with me and will make me smile. and me and emily will be prom king and queen thats all there is to it. i dont care what you think we are the prom king and queen. well we will be dancing so look at us as we are in that big circle and make us feel akward with your staring piercing eyes you little gruby bastards. love you all lol. and well dad is paranoid as all fucking hell he like demanded that i call this no call hotline or something cause his boss said that cell phones were the next target for telemarketers and im like dad you are paranoid and he called me some bad names. it was all good. fucking idoit. well im back on that down hill slide of emotion im full of cough medicine and i bought a new hat and two pairs of sandals. im happy i love shopping and buying new things. new things make me feel good. so im on a small happy high. this week like still isnt over and thats like sooooo not cool i need it to end. come on prom get here and over well ima go study.
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2005 27 April :: 10.07pm
:: Music: THe Dresden Dolls - Bad Habit
EMO
Send word of your death to me.} Theres been a word ive seen floating about the heads of students in the hallways every day. Its a word of hatred and disgust of utter sickness at the thought of such a thing. compasion for ones fellow man. FUCK THAT SHIT. wheres it coming from? not here not anyway around here. trust is a hard thing to gain and well some people just fucking toss it right out the god damn window like its nothing at all. fuck that right i mean hell he will forgive me and as long as i lie i can just keep things hunky fucking doriy right? well thats how things should work. and whats wrong with using your friends and not really liking them? NOTHING!!! yeah the world really is a great place now isnt it. all these things come together to make the perfect person. the perfect idol of hatred. you perfectly evil fuck. lets just leave it at that. good bye to 89% of you and to the rest...heres a ticket, jump on the fucking train now or ill find it hard to send the letters.
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2005 27 April :: 6.35pm
:: Music: Weezer - The World Has Turned And Left Me Here
Please?
This week is taking forever. its only wed. and i feel like im dieing already. i mean seriously just let this week get over with i mean i dont have to work till saturday now that i just got out today so thats one thing to look forward to. Prom is going to be fun ill get to finally ride in a limo. Like seriously week fucking end and let me go on with the task of making it through school. I mean yeah we have to take final exams soon which kinda sucks hardcore but i dont have an exam in chem, just some stupid quiz but like im not really catching on to any of this crap we are doing now with the mole calculations and shit with the mass of the compounds and shit its annoying and well something i dont know what but something is up in my head just bugging me i cant figure it out though i really dont know what it is but its there and its really tearing me open. and im sick and being sick agitates me and makes the week seem even longer than it really is. im thirsty to. and yoko needs to get out of her cage but im just to lazy to go over there and get her out i mean seriously its just a little rat that i get out sit on my shoulder and shes good for a while. ok its still wed. seriously something is wrong here. prom prom prom exams exams exams food food food yoko yoko yoko. stacy stacy stacy. what did i do?
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2005 26 April :: 8.53pm
:: Music: Alien Ant Farm - Glow
Wake The Fuck Up.
Ok like 12 school days left...thats really it? yeah thats all that i have left and well the world is open and real to me. prom coming up. got my tux pink and black, im hott. (yeah i went there with the two t's) and well my voice hurts im sick and tired. yoko is getting big. i love her shes nice and cute she wont come out of the cage today. she smiles at me i like it. cocoa is extra cute. the world turns. "friends" go away, its cool. love yall who stay with me. college coming up fast. better deal with that soon. hatred almost gone. i lvoe you all so fucking much. wish i could have left a better impression on all of you. i mean what i leave that school with wasnt that bad. i mean right? o well i hope i left something good behind. and well here goes life in 12 days. love much. ~Tails
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danibean
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2005 26 April :: 8.42pm
:: Mood: happy
so things for prom are working out just like everyone said they would :) i'm going with tyler bauer and i couldn't be happier. we're on our way to having all our plans made and that makes me really happy. anyways....i just wanted to thank anyone who helped me when i was down...you know who you are and i love you all! :) can't wait to see you at PROM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
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2005 18 April :: 6.42pm
well i fell asleep and i realized its peaceful there. i want that to be my life my dreams should be my reality. so ill just lie here a while longer and wish of how i want my life to be and how it is when im asleep. well i have a date to prom. me a date??? fucking weird....i dont think i like it. im supposed to be the crazy cat guy who dies at 78 alone in the living room as the cats cover my body and take me to their heaven with a solitary mew from them in unison as they scatter away and the camera runs up along the wall dolly to the ceiling shot spining at 6.89 seconds per rail yard and the camera lens focuses on a small ramp. ill asscend into heaven with this to hold me close. but im tired of life.
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2005 14 April :: 8.52pm
i was looking back through photo albums and things of that nature today and i noticed that outside of christmas, after the second grade, i must have died and nobody told me about it. see there arent any random photos of me after that and they dont pick back up until about the 6th grade so im wondering if mom has some albums she stole when she left or if maybe my parents just forgot to take any photos of me at all and just left it all up to the family outside. or if maybe they just didnt give a fuck and i cant locate any of my old school pictures outside of 2nd grad and 9th grade. well good thing my past dosent really exist...sad isnt it.
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2005 11 April :: 8.16pm
HEY. im alive and coming to the relazation that this is it. better make the best of my last month or so of school. so watch out bitches im gonna be a hard hitting mother fucker and im going to make sure i dont leave any loose ends behind me. no more sad thoughts about what im leaving behind, now i can focus on making what i leave behind the best i can. so here goes. o and by the way im setting up that test on tuesday so my life can get on track and it wont be bothering me anymore i mean the test dosent get me in or out of GRCC its just a test to see what they think i should take while im there. im sure cause i suck at math ill end up in some fucking algebra class or something gay FUCKING A I HATE MATH SO HARDCORE!!!!. anyway see yall later.
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2005 10 April :: 2.14am
ok i need to find some people to rent a limo with so i will need some people who will want to be in the limo with me and (?) and stacy and brad so please if you want to ring me in.... but i dont know if stacy and brad are even going to be in the limo so if you want to invite me and my possible date into your limo that would be cool too. well prom is coming and im nervous so help me out.
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danibean
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2005 7 April :: 11.55pm
FRIDAY, APRIL 15, 2005
C.D. RELEASE PARTY
FUZZY LOGIC AT CEDAR SPRINGS HIGH SCHOOL AUDITORIUM
TICKETS ARE $10 IN ADVANCE FROM BANK ONE AND STEIN BROTHERS PIZZA........WILL BE $12 AT THE DOOR
C.D.'S ARE $5
C.D.'S AND T-SHIRTS ON SALE AT THE CONCERT
SEE YOU THERE!!!!!!!!! THIS WILL BE AN AWESOME CONCERT SO COME OUT FOR SOME FUN AND TO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT.
PARTIAL FUNDS GO TO PROCEDE GOD'S KITCHEN IN GRAND RAPIDS!!!!!!!!!
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danibean
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2005 7 April :: 4.31pm
:: Mood: tired
well, day 2 at the grindstone. woot....tomorrow i work from 9-3. then i stopped into the ice cream store today to drop off my app. and i guess we're opening on saturday instead of next friday! soooo, instead of having a somewhat peaceful weekend, i work saturday 11-3:30 at ice cream, then 3:30-8:30 at steins. sunday 12-5, monday 11-4:30, and wednesday 5-10. ahhhhhhhh.........i'm excited though, i can smell the money $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ :)
in other news, ryan called yesterday. we talked for over an hour and i didn't excatly ask him about prom. stupid me. i asked him if he was busy that weekend and he said he was booked until graduation. *sigh*...after talking to him i want to go with him more now than ever. i knew that it would be too much like a fairy tale and somewhat too good to be true if he could come. i just wish it would work out between us once. just one time. it's so hard too,...........ughaglkajglashdgakjdlfkaj. that's that. i have to be real, and i'm realizing that.
anyways, so i'm finally growing up i think. i'm starting to get ancy and wanting to get out of crap hole cedar springs. i'm excited to work 2 jobs now and maybe 3 if i do the farm this summer. if i can keep up. it just seems that i don't really care about high school things anymore. it just all seems stupid. i want to move on with my life. that's a first though...i'm not afraid anymore i don't think. and i know i'll make it.
well, i should get cleaning....if anyone wants to hang out when i'm NOT working, let me know.... :)
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2005 3 April :: 11.14pm
:: Music: Frou Frou - Must Be Dreaming
Spring Break -0_0-
Ok so this is spring break? what the fuck is happening? ok someone is being a liar and its involving alot more shit than it should. fess up and take what you have coming, stop adding more lies to the pile. ok its cold and i cant wear shorts as much as i please. IM BROKE!!! I can't really drive anywhere with no money for gas and shit so im stuck in this place till i die or get my paycheck. once we are back in school.... not cool. well also its just there is nothing to do either nothing even sounds like fun and no one comes up with any super fun ideas other than movies or coffee houses and those are dead to me basically. i want to have alot more poker nights those are fun and keep me at home and get great conversation going on. *hugs* well i just needed one so shut up. umm i am bored with this town and this place i need to leave there are about 20 billion yellow lines between me and salvation...thats alot of color, alot or time, alot of torture.
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danibean
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2005 1 April :: 7.27pm
:: Mood: happy
i feel so good right now. i'm actually going to go hang out with people i like. and that i don't have to pretend and be fake around. and i went to tina's today and hung out with kale, sarah, and radine...it was like old times with stuffing ourselves with pizza and cheese bread..mmmmmmmmm yeah. and we used tina's tanning bed...yay!!!!! so i'm going to matt's tonight to play poker and have some genuine fun and good times. that makes me happy....break is going to be awesome. yup..:)
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danibean
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2005 30 March :: 10.58pm
:: Mood: contemplative
hmmm....things are coming to an end. and some things already came to one. it's sad to think about, but exciting to look forward to new friends, living arrangements, and teachers. not to mention a lot of hot guys! woo...anyways, i've been thinking. weird...i know...but don't fear, for it's good news. i'll tell you...just things, not necessarily all bad or good...that have crossed my mind.
1. i haven't updated in forever....and i've had this journal since my freshman year...humph....that's kind of neat-o
2. it just crashed thunder and lightening...and i liked it
3. i'm over the fact that dan laatz lied to me only so he could ruin our friendship so he could be with someone else (this is good...)(that i'm over it anyways)
4. i don't have a prom date....this is bad...only because i feel like a complete loser....i have a beautiful pink dress...that makes me feel like cinderella, with the glass slippers and all...but no prince....i'm trying to figure out what my problem is....
5. graduation doesn't seem real....or in reach at all whatsoever
6. i wasn't as cool as andrea groner when i was a freshman
7. i'm fake?
8. i'm scared of change
anyways, it feels good to get stuff kind of written out. feel free to leave me love...and remember...i love you :)
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2005 29 March :: 5.37pm
Finally got yoko out of her cage
wow.
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