(all of these go in descending order. Ie ten is the least scary thing for me and one is the most and so on and so forth)
10 things that scare me:
10. the dark
9. change
8. the future
7. seeing someone hurting and knowing there's nothing i can do to help them
6. myself
5. relationships
4. rejection
3. people i love leaving/dying
2. not going to college
1. hell
9 things that make me mad:
9. my family
8. bad music
7. myself
6. the hallways at our school
5. other drivers on the road
4. not being able to make a difference
3. stupidity
2. when i don't understand something really easy
1. people hating each other
8 things i love:
8. my computer
7. Indoor Plumbing
6. the Bible
5. my blankie
4. my family
3. God
2. music
1. my friends
7 things i hate:
7. obscene people
6. sex in movies for no real reason
5. cleaning my room
4. selfishness
3. abortions
2. people hating each other
1. myself
6 random facts about me:
6. i like wheel ceramics
5. i sleep with six stuffed moose
4. i collect spoons
3. i like playing Sims so i can build the houses
2. i'm terrified to get my hair cut off
1. the walls of my room are completely covered with bulletin boards and posters and newspaper clippings and pictures
5 things i plan to do before i die: (not in order)
5. Go to New Zealand, Scotland, and Italy
4. Go to college
3. Get married and have four kids
2. Become a missionary
1. Make a difference
4 things i want to do right now:
4. watch Harry Potter
3. not be afraid to fill out my college aps
2. help Ed to understand what i believe and why i believe it
1. Hang out with Timmy Balow
3 things that attract me to the opposite sex:
3. Hair
2. Eyes
1. Personality
2 things i cant do:
2. Be genuinely happy for an entire day
1. Have total faith and trust in God
i want to write a story
i want to write a story about love
i want to write a story about emotion
i want to portray emotions that i feel onto a piece of paper
i want to write a story about a girl who loves someone but that someone doesn't know she loves him
i want to write what that girl is feeling, the pain he is causing her in her heart that he cannot possibly understand
i want to be able to read the story and feel what she is feeling, to feel her desire and her longing
i want to be able to write something that i'm proud of
so i'm going to try here
and i can't promise it's going to be any good, because it's probably not going to be
but i want to try
so here goes nothing
::
2005 20 February :: 5.57 pm
:: Mood: moody
:: Music: The Ascent of Stan by Ben Folds
stupid stupid stupid
so I lied
what else is new?
how is it that as soon as I decide that I don't like him any more I'm thinking about him more than ever?
what is WRONG with me?
AHH!!! I HATE WHEN RUTHIE TALKS ABOUT GRADUATING EARLY!!
It pisses me off because she's so stubborn about it and doesn't see that she's going to be incredibly bored and only work, not even with people her own age because everyone will be in school and then everyone will have homework and not have time for her
WHY CAN"T SHE SEE THAT?!?!
Manny's such an asshole
I'm sorry that that's mean but it's true
I was all set to give him this letter I wrote to him on Thursday explaining why I act the way I do around him then he started being an asshole so I've been slowly crumbling the letter up until it disentegrates
beautiful idea right?
but in other news, I love my friends, I mean, christians that I trust and can confide in, that's been so rare for me and now I have so many of them
YAY
PS2K05 applications are due today, Mark came up to me and was like "hey, I saw your application for project serve online" and I was thinking "oh, I applied like a month ago" but we (Being the friends I was sitting with) determined they didn't look at the applications until this weekend
I had a really good day yesterday
I got to fix a physics test that I screwed up the day before
hung out with a bunch of people last night
laughed my way through a haunted house
it was good times
I really want him to just grab me and kiss me and take my hair out of my ponytail and just run his fingers through my hair and we would just lay down simultaneously and he would be on top of me and we would just be kissing and it would be so passionate...
But I know that's never going to happen so I'll just think about it.
If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend:
if you pardon, we will mend:
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearned luck
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Puck a liar call;
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.
~*~