hullo : )
alright i want to list everything before i forget it and then i will explain it
dream with Curt
PS overnight
Jarrod S.
bio test
play tonight
Jeff

okay first: dream with Curt
so what happened was that he dived into the deep end of the pool but he wasn't supposed to and then he couldn't feel his hands for a little while and that was two nights ago and i have been more and more attracted to this kid and i don't know why. it's just a physical attraction and i really don't like it because i shouldn't like him in that way and it's just been very distracting lately

second: PS overnight
IT'S TOMORROW NIGHT!!!!!
i'm so excited.. what it is is we all meet at the church and then put brown paper bags over our heads and a student leader from the site that we are on finds us and puts us in a car and drives us to a house where we will be spending the night, all while we have the bags over our head still so we don't know who's all on our site and then they put us in a circle and we can take off the bags but I'M FINDING OUT WHO'S ON MY SITE TOMORROW!!!!!! it's so exciting for me (if you couldn't tell)

third: Jarrod S.
so for Project Serve we have to send out letters to people and ask for money for the church we will be staying at and i called Rob (the student pastor) and asked if i could extend the time that we were supposed to send them out by one day and i wasn't sure how it went so i talked to Jarrod and he said he was going to see Rob later that day and called me and i just thought it was really nice of him to volunteer to do that

fourth: bio test
yeah, we had one today
it wasn't terrible but i'm not sure i did great, okay maybe, hopefully

fifth: play tonight
i am going to see "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying"
it's a musical at my play and i'm going to see it with Ruthie
it's really long though, supposed to be three hours and it's also supposed to be really really censored but oh well a bunch of people that i know are going to be in it so i'm excited

lastly: Jeff
RARRGH! i have been attracted to him as well lately and i don't know what kind of attraction it is. i mean he's smart, i think he's good looking, and i love his voice, but he's not a Christian so i don't want to like him in that way

What do I have to do
well i didn't make the badminton team and i was extremely bummed last night but i'm oddly content about it now
i still haven't talked to Chris; it's been nearly two weeks
amazing right?
but yeah, i don't really have a lot to say so that is all for now
adios

*is on a high*
oh man
yesterday was crazy
so i zoned out for two hours while mr. nemeth talked about badminton and then i went over to Ruthie's house and we drove to the Gottlieb household
we hung out with Robert for about two hours
it was SO MUCH FUN
we migrated from his living room to the stairwell where all the pictures are to his sisters' room and then to the computer room/Mark's room and then we went and hung out in Robert/Chris' room
that was sweet because they've got stuff all over the ceiling and walls and it was just a lot of fun to look at and hanging out with Robert is seriously a lot of fun
and then two of Robert's friends came over and Ruthie and i got so mad at them because they were giving Robert so much grief and they were making fun of him
it ticked me off
but yeah then Robert had to go to a book discussion so Ruthie and i went out to eat and we drove past a bunch of peoples' houses
it was fun
we're going to have to stop by the Gottlieb house more often

ankles are breaking
badminton is not good for ankles
but yeah i've got to go

okay, so i am going to explain the stress
I think I should start off with just explaining to you my week. On Monday, I had a badminton meeting after school until about 1450 and then I went to Target to get my mom’s medicine. I got home at around 1555 and had about twenty minutes to sit and talk with Ruthie. We then left for badminton practice. I got home from that at around 1820, ate dinner, took a shower, and then left for this group I go to every Monday night from 2000 to 2100. I got home at about 2115 and started my homework. I finished about 2330 and went to sleep. Today, I had badminton practice until 1700 and got home, ate, took a shower, and have just about finished all the homework I can handle at the moment and it is about 2215. Tomorrow, I’ve got badminton practice from 1630 to 1830. Then I’m going to come home, take a shower, grab a sandwich and go to core groups. When I get home at around 2120 or so, I plan on finishing whatever homework I didn’t have a chance to finish. Thursday, I’ve got badminton practice from 1630 to 1830 again. Friday, I have badminton practice from 1430 to 1700. I also need to write an essay, finish La Catrina, and finish half of Lord of the Flies by Friday because we have a test on it that day. Needless to say, I will be very, very tired by the end of the week. So, today, I woke up seven minutes late and got downstairs a minute after my dad wanted to leave so I was rushing and I forgot my shoes for badminton and I get in the car and my mom yells out the front door “GET BACK IN HERE! YOU HAVEN’T EATEN BREAKFAST!” So I had to go back into the house and get some breakfast/lunch (cheerios) and I spilled some of them but I didn’t have time to pick them up so I had to leave them there and after school, my mom was like “you’ve got a mess to clean up from your little tirade this morning” but I’m getting ahead of myself. So last night I forgot to bring my chemistry book to school and we had a quiz today and I was worried that it was over the reading so my entire dream last night was me reading the chemistry book. But so I got it read and it was fine and then Mr. Fleddermann gives us the quiz and it’s Lewis Dot Structures and Structural Formulas and my mind starts racing because I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about so I did what I thought were the Lewis Dot Structures and he says “Is everyone done?” No one is, but that’s scary for me to think that I’m only half way done and I’m supposed to be done. I felt like I was going to cry so I asked Mr. Fleddermann if I could sit outside (because I was really, REALLY aggravated with myself) and he told me I could. I spent about thirty-eight minutes out there. I was scared to death to go back in because I thought I had failed that quiz and I’m not doing well in chemistry right now and failing was something I just couldn’t go and face so I didn’t. I talked to Mr. Fleddermann after class and I’m going to get help before school tomorrow but we’ve got a quiz tomorrow as well and I’m nervous about that as well because I definitely don’t understand that at all. I didn’t get it when we learned it yesterday and I still don’t get it. So that was I in a really stressed out phase of my day. At that point, I wanted to shoot Josh all through biology. I was just really mad at myself and I had absolutely no idea what to do so I was praying for a lot of my sitting out there. I kept asking Him what was going on and if there was some hidden meaning behind it and all of this stuff and as it turns out, I did the quiz sort of right and I did know how to do the stuff he asked for, I just didn’t know what it was called. But yeah, I’m going to go read some of Lord of the Flies and then do my devotion and go to sleep.

oops, forgot this
FIRSTS AND LASTS
FIRSTS
First car: I’ve never had a car
First real date: never happened
First real kiss: hasn’t happened yet
First real break-up: hasn’t happened yet
First screen name: snapdragon18
First self purchased album: I do not remember at all
First funeral: my Grannie’s
First pets: fish maybe; there were dogs roaming and cats as well, I’ve been around them my entire life
First piercing/tattoo: I got my ears pierced in second grade then they had an allergic reaction to the sterling silver so I waited two years and then wore gold for six months
First credit card: never had one, don’t want one
First enemy: I really couldn’t say the first
First big trip: Colorado
LASTS
Last car ride: earlier this evening when I came home from Ruthie’s
Last kiss: I kissed my mom when I got home
Last good cry: I can’t remember
Last movie seen: HELP! (Beatles’ movie)
Last beverage drank: Peach Iced Tea at lunch
Last food consumed: tortilla chips and salsa
Last crush: *coughs* James : )
Last phone call: Possibly my mom
Last time showered: just a few hours ago
Last shoes worn: some form of tennis shoes
Last cd played: it’s a mix with Ben Folds, Radiohead, Stabbing Westward, Evanescence, Aquabats, Aimee Alien, Bosson, and others on it
Last item bought: I couldn’t tell you
Last annoyance: Berit
Last disappointment: ummm….. getting homework
Last time having sex: I’ve never had it
Last time wanting to die: not for a while
Last shirt worn: well I’m wearing a black spaghetti strap tank top right now if that counts
Last website visited: www.msn.com



Name three bad habits you have:
1. I eat too much junk food
2. Self-destructive criticism
3. Swearing
Name three scents you love:
1. If you can get in the right wind, smoke from a bonfire
2. Roses
3. Jasmine
Name four things you'd never wear:
1. A bikini
2. Leather
3. Fur
4. A jail uniform
Name four animals you like:
1. Dogs
2. Cats
3. Prairie Dogs
4. Otters
Name four television shows you love:
1. One Tree Hill
2. CSI: Las Vegas
3. Will & Grace
4. 30 Minute Meals
Name four artist/bands/groups that you like but most people don't know about:
1. The Aquabats
2. Stabbing Westward
3. Aimee Alien
4. Birdbrain
Name four drinks you regularly drink:
1. Milk
2. Water
3. Peach iced tea
4. Cherry Coke (although I’ve given it up for Lent)
Name four random facts about yourself:
1. I wear a back brace
2. I have really long hair
3. I enjoy talking to friends’ friends who don’t actually know me
4. I want to be an architect
Name four random facts about your family:
1. My dad’s side of the family is really Scottish
2. My grandpa (mom’s dad) takes a six week trip to California every January and February
3. My sister is currently a freshman at Illinois Wesleyan
4. The whole of my mom’s side is Jewish
Have you ever...
1. Fallen for your best friend: yeah, twice now
2. Made out with just a Friend: considering that I’ve never kissed anyone, I’d have to say this is a no
3. Been rejected: yes
4. Been in love: Yes
5. Used someone: I don’t think so
6. Been used: I wouldn’t doubt it
7. Cheated on someone: No
8. Been cheated on: no
9. Done something you regret: too many things to count
Who was the last person...
1. You "touched": why are there quotations around that?
2. You talked to: my mom
3. You hugged: my mom
4. You instant messaged: Ruthie
5. You kissed: my mom
6. You yelled at: I can’t remember
7. You laughed with: Ruthie
8. You have a crush on: *ahem* James
9. Who broke your heart: Manny
Do you...
1. Color your hair: No
2. Have tattoos: No
3. Have piercings: four… one in each lobe and two on my left cartilidge
4. Have a girl/boyfriend: No
5. Floss daily: yes
6. Have sibilings: one older sister
Random Questions
1. Who sent you this: Took it from a random guy’s journal
2. What are your parents names: Andrew and Holli
3. What should you be doing right now: Either working on a history essay or sleeping
4. What are you listening to: “I Don’t Want to Miss A Thing” by Aerosmith
5. Can you do anything freakish with your body: I’m abnormally flexible, I can pop my thumb, my ankles are amazingly flexible, they’ve never broken no matter how funny I’ve landed on them
6. Chicken or fish: neither, I’m a vegetarian
7. Have a favorite animal: not really, I love cats and dogs
More Random Questions
1. Is ice cream the best thing in the world: not at all
2. What's your dream date: Laying on a blanket in a field looking at the stars and talking
3. Single flower or a dozen: It really is the thought that counts, a single means a lot because he took the time to find a single flower for me but a dozen is beautiful as well
4. Silver, gold or platinum: silver
5. Candle lit dinner: A little dark and I really don’t know if it’s romantic or not, I’ve never done it
6. Silly or serious romance: I would like both
8. Do you consider yourself a romantic: Yes
9. Who else would you like to see fill out this survey: I really don’t care either way
10. List your favorite teachers: Mr. Samide, Mr. Piro, Mr. Ward, Mr. Hellman
11. What grade are you in and what school do you attend: I am a sophomore at Wheaton North High School
12. What is your birth date? February 18, 1988
Are you/Have you...
1. Shy: sometimes
2. Quiet: depending on my situation
3. Boring: not really
4. What did you do today: woke up, cleaned my room for a bit, went with my mom to the hospital, went to lunch and then over to Ruthie’s house, came home, took a shower, went on the computer
5. Helped someone: Yes
6. Dissected something: twice, I didn’t like it
7. Drank: my mom lets me sip sometimes
8. Cut your hair: I get rid of any split ends I find
9. Missed someone: Yes
10. Told someone you love them: Yes
11. Hugged someone: Yes
12. Fallen in love: Yes
13. Met someone new: Yes
14. Talked to someone you have a crush on: Yes
15. What CD is in your CD player right now?: The Aquabats and the first and third LOTR soundtracks and I’ve got a mix in my computer
16. Who is your favorite Spice Girl: I always liked Posh
17. Favorite Disney Characters: there are way too many to choose from
18. Favorite fast food: soda
19. Favorite Sports teams: I don’t like sports, save for badminton, and I really don’t like watching them
20. Favorite song: there are so many good songs out there, it would be a gunpoint thing for me to choose one
21. What room is your computer in: mine
22. What is your shoe size: 9 I think
23. What will you be your future profession: I’d love to be an architect
24. Do you like doing these kinds of surveys: yeah, it gives me stuff to do

too much stuff to do
wow, today was so stressful i don't even want to go over it
but Ruthie called me while driving
so she called on her cell phone
and she just got her liscence
it really pissed me off
but yeah
Chris is leaving on pre-trip on either the fourth or the fifth
sad, isn't it?
anyways, i've got to go read some in Lord of the Flies and then try to get some sleep
shalom

"Dese" for the newsies
so, today was eventful
i drove around for a bit but my mom had a headache so we went to the paramedics and got her blood pressure taken and it was really high and so i had to call Ruthie and tell her that it would be a while longer before i could go to her house so that we could go out to eat to celebrate her getting her liscense because i needed to go with my mom to the hospital for her really freakishly high blood pressure so i was there for a while and then she was fine and her friend showed up so i went out to eat with Ruthie and her parents and then went to the grocery store with them and my dad called and said my mom was fine but had to stay at the hospital overnight so i had to decide whether or not to stay at the Spinelli's overnight and so later my mom called and said that she didn't have to stay the night so here i am, at home, typing on my journal that Ruthie asked about again today and i told her there were all these links you had to go to and it was majorly confusing and i didn't feel like going to it because she wants to read it even though i still don't want her to read it, it's becoming freaky difficult
but yeah, Berit, Robert's friend, blocked me today and so did Chip, another of Robert's friends. i was pretty well ticked off at that, you know because they don't even know me that well and they blocked me
but here i am, and i haven't chatted with Robert or Chris in a pretty good while
but yeah so i'm off for now
shalom : )

Fake Plastic Trees
man, Ruthie got a LJ and she gave me the site for it and she was over yesterday and we were online and i've got my journal saved in my favorites as "Bob's Journal" and Ruthie was like "you've got an LJ" and i said no and refused to talk anymore about it. i mean what if i get angry at her (chances are that'll never happen but just hypothetically) and she reads it. i'm not confrontational unless i'm really really pissed and if she were to read a post or anyone else for that matter it could turn into something confrontational and that's not my thing.
*sings* i have no school tomorrow
but i've got a freaking head ache
i am going driving for something near an hour tomorrow (half an hour to a place and half an hour back) so that should be good considering i've only got three and a half hours and we're about one third of the way through the semester and i want to get my liscence right away after school gets out
but Robert's been ignoring me all week; he's had me blocked because i asked him if he wanted to go see a movie with me and Ruthie and apparently he doesn't want to answer me so he's just been avoiding me which is really ticking me off because i would rather him tell me no than just blow the question off entirely; so yeah i'm angered with him right now
that is all for now
adios

i'm very well aware
i tend to be saying that a lot lately
i wonder why
ah well
what's it matter anyways
i'm so tired of that stupid Ibsen play
we've been working so hard on it
and it's still taking forever
we have seriously already spent five hours outside of class on it and then we're going to spend two and a half more before we actually perform the play
i mean what's up with that?
i went to the dentist today and didn't get sick
normally, because i have to take medication so that the stuff they use to sterialize the equipment doesn't create an infection if it gets into my bloodstream, i get sick and last time, for instance, i was throwing up all day
now i don't know about you but my bile didn't taste all that great and it felt like mucus coming up from my stomach
it sucked majorly
but today i went to the dentist and didn't get sick from the medication they gave me
i was so happy about that
i prayed about it a lot and it happened
i also prayed that God would help me with the baby-sitting job and He did
i was so so exstatic about that
but yeah, i think i'm going to go and study for the bio test that i'm going to fail tomorrow
wish me luck!!!
: )

three day weekend
what a contenting thing
a three day weekend
granted Chris is busy the entire time, but hey, i'm just glad that he's got a social life : )
i'm baby sitting tomorrow, i'll come on Sunday and give an overview of how that goes
i'm also getting a bunch of photographs from Turnabout from my friends because i had no intention of going anyways

I'll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours
i feel so crappy right now
i have no idea why
it could be that i'm sleep deprived
it could be that i don't understand the math homework
it could be that i'm just over-working or under-working my self to stress levels
who the freak knows?
i have no idea so i've accepted my terrible mood and am dealing with it
isn't it great?
i feel like crying and i'm just dealing with it
i really hate myself sometimes
i really really do
i have so many problems that aren't even real problems
what is wrong with me?
my brain is so far gone right now that i couldn't tell you anything of any interest
it really sucks
i mean, if i'm not out of whack enough, now i have to feel like this?
give me a break

Project Serve's comin' up
so, update
update
update
am i done?

just kidding
well i went driving today (i got my permit a few days ago)
i made my schedule for next year
the Project Serve informational meeting was this morning
it rocked
i am so psyched to go