as breathe by breathe, I suffocate

:: 2005 30 March :: 3.23pm
:: Mood: fgdshk

feels like shit, but i can take it like a wo...man...

I thought-- nevermind.. i guess its not true..

Bitch.

:: 2005 29 March :: 8.15pm

I wish i had some raver friends.. alot..
I miss groovin to techno with my sister.. i have no one left to talk about it with..

ohh deah.. I need ta brain wash all mah friends..

:: 2005 29 March :: 6.56pm

SoOoOoO.. today was pretty shpiffy..

Bad things-
-Mrs. Blair got mad at me for telling her i didnt want to go on the shtupid choir trip
-Going to Social Studies.. god i hate that class
-being assulted at lunch.. (actually that was more fuuny than bad.. but i still got salt in my hair.. Thank you brenan..)
-Being talked to by a crazy gut at starbucks

Good things-
-ashlee was a sweetie to me today
-not having to sing in choir
-getting an extra day for the SS project
-Bonding with alex at lunch
-Finding out HW center isnt that bad
-Finding out Ambure, Jordan, and Buddie are all in HW C w/ me.
-Bonding with buddie and sharing secrets afters.. just like old times
-going to Huckleberries for din dins

w00t!

:: 2005 28 March :: 9.21pm

I was Trish. Jim was uncle Rico, and my mutti was dear old LaFawnduh. Hee hee. silly quiz!

:: 2005 28 March :: 4.55pm

I can't believe i have /homework center/. It makes me feel like a stupid peice of crap.

Mercedes came over and we had a good time working on HW. But the subject turned to Fuckhole, and that made me sad.

Vair vair shitty day.

:: 2005 27 March :: 6.26pm
:: Mood: cowardly

I know how she feels. and that makes it all worse. At least she can actually talk to him about it.. whereas i just sit here like a little pussy. God damn it!!

:: 2005 27 March :: 3.37pm
:: Mood: sad

It pisses me off that my dad put so much time and effort into perfecting Pia's present, but didnt even get anything at all for my birthday. I would care more, but I've come to expect it.

:: 2005 27 March :: 3.10pm

complete

waste

of time.

sickening.

:: 2005 27 March :: 10.26am

yesterday = awesome

Maya and I went to the mall to hang out at noon, and we just sat at a table and talked for like.. and hour and a half. She's so cool! I missed her soo much!! We went to Red Robin and her parents kept asking me questions like what i thought about the LC choral program. And i was just like "Uhh... yeah." It was funny..

Then we went back to the peoples house that she's staying at and looked for matress tags to cut off and snooped around poeples rooms. Tres fun. After convincing her to come with me.. we went off to sophies, watched spinal tapp and ran around in the rain. Overall a KICK BUTT day!

The best part? .... Wait... startled fawn.. umm the second best part.. GABE AS AN EMO!! And pics to prove it!!

Happy easter!

3 Black Roses | Scream the Sorrow..

chocolatemilk

:: 2005 26 March :: 4.46pm
:: Mood: crazy
:: Music: Postal Service - Such Great Heights

Garden State is a really good movie. If you haven't seen it, and like Zach Braff (the guy from Scrubs), go watch it!

Yesterday was awesome..I can't believe Chris actually took the cookies, haha, you rock Chris. We all saw The Ring 2, which does have it's scary parts (most of which I didn't actually look at), but it's mostly ..pretty bad. We went to Gabe's and watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High (I think that's it, anyway) which was..pretty..cool..I think Maya felt a little bit..left out? I felt bad...:-\

We played pool..which was cool. It..made me drool like a fool? Eh, I'm done. But yeah..I twist-curled my hair and it's fareeeeakin out man. Soo..I'm going to go now...

:: 2005 26 March :: 11.08am

I made it to 33 and a half.

I was sitting on the couch.. in a trance thing (seriously, i had wanted to go to sleep right after my mom and everyone left for dinner, but i kept drawing on this peice of paper.. it was weird) and my aunt and uncle came home and were all like "hey, we brought you a movie" and im like "ugghwhichone?" and they're like "Shall we dance" and im like " AHH! FRICKIN J-LO UFGfjdf!" (at this point i had no control over my mouth) so they looked offended and said that they were sorry for trying to be nice.. And then either the guilt or /something/ made me start crying.. And I'm like "sorry, I just haven't slept in like 33 hours" and they said "And who's fault is that?" which PISSED ME OFF! It was theirs! I had wanted to sleep as soon as i came home from school! It was my aunt who MADE me stay up and watch Jane Pauley with her, /and/ it was my aunt who urged my mom to call me from the reasturaunt to see if i was still awake/ wake me up. Who's fult is it eh? Thats when i stomped off to my room to listen to some tool.
I fell asleep before number one was oer.

4 Black Roses | Scream the Sorrow..

:: 2005 25 March :: 4.36pm

Today was crazy..

Ok.. so after.. not.. waking up.. I went to my bus stop. Once on the bus, Dan (Ghetto homie) was talking to me.. and i couldn't understand a single word ge said.. I was also hearing office phones (you know.. the kind that go Blee-e blee-e, all politely?) ringing in the back of my head. *note: this was a side effect of sleep deprivation, not crack* Then when i got to school i was sitting in the hall and every time someone would walk past me I would see them about 2.5 feet away.. but then I'd look again, and they'd be about 10 feet back! It freaked me out. I got a Monster energy drink and tried walking to the fieldhouse... but i needed to cling onto Mandy for most of the journy because everything was changing sizes. Once in choir, i realized we had a sub which meant I (thankfully) didnt have to do anything. I /did/ go to the bathroom though.. which scared the living crap (not literally..eww) right out of me because i was hearing crows in there while i washed my hands. For the rest of choir i read a book and tried not to think too hard. In health.. I kinda sat around and compared the prices of potatoes for an assignment. Then came third period, the highlight of my day. You see, all the Germans were preforming their choir peices in the auditorium, so i skipped history to go listen to them. Hottie McNaughtyBody was there (of course) and i spent the /ENTIRE/ con staring right at him.. I didnt mean to, But he had the bone structure of a god. He finally noticed my gaze was directed at him, which i think confused him a little.. But in between songs.. he nudged the boy next to him and the other boy looked RIGHT AT ME. PROVING that they were talking about me.. this didnt faze my gaze though and i simply put on a seducive smile and kept on lookin'. He looked up at me more when he was singing, as if to convince himself that i really WAS looking at him. I was.. And before he got off stage he /smiled/ at me. A cute little german smile.. I saw him at lunch and we made eye contact, but thats it.. I dont even know his name.. Actually, I think its Simon or something.. He told my choir class, but i wasnt paying attention.

My lowest energy point was in English, and stupid Mr. Huff took no notice and made me be romeo. /Romeo/ for christs sake! Gahd. My words were all kinda slurred from more Monster and not sleeping for over 24 hours.

But let me tell you, I am not the least bit sorry I'm missing the movie tonight. I would be SOOOOOOOOO miserable. It would suck. I'm not ashamed to be sitting at home with my aunt, uncle, Mom, and Mom's boyfriend on a friday night... I mean, hey.. It beats Paying too much for a dumb scary movie i dont want to see in the first place, only to end up either A) Falling asleep in the theatre and paying 6.50 for an uncomfortable nap, or B) Wishing deperately i were at home sleeping. Besides.. I hate sevies.

If i can stay up until 8:00pm, i will have gone without sleep for 33 hours, a personal record. I would be sleeping now.. but I'm so tired.. I'm not.. Like when you get so cold you actually feel a little warm.

This is a really long entry, but finally I have to say thank you to Mandy, Alex, and Chris.. for being nice to me and leading me around places when i couldnt walk in a straight line. I love you!

-phew- OK, I'm all done now. :-D

:: 2005 25 March :: 6.31am
:: Mood: surprisingly awake

For the first time ever/ In as long as I can remember.. I didnt sleep /at all/ ALL night! Yes folks, thats 21 hours of no sleep on a school night. At least I have money to get a monster. And I'm gonna skip 3rd and maybe 6th period today, i know i wont last.

Simplywicked

:: 2005 24 March :: 1.48pm

Lets see... Excess IB Proufin + Lack of sleep + sickness = PALM TREES!! Well not palm trees, thats sopie's thing, but I'm actually seeing holes in the walls... and soccer balls.. Hahaha.. I won't ever need ectacy!

17 Black Roses | Scream the Sorrow..

Chocolatemilk

:: 2005 22 March :: 8.08pm

If you could pick a colour to taste, what colour would it be, why would you taste it, and what do you think it would taste like?

This was a question asked to me by Sean, and I wanna see how other people answer it. So....answer away!!

7 Black Roses | Scream the Sorrow..

:: 2005 22 March :: 6.24pm

Ohh my Giddy Dumplings, MAYA IS GONNA BE HUR TODAY!! I'm sooo excited to see her! And my phone works! Fabby fab fab! PLUUUS, i got a buttoload of new books yesterday. *w00t*
Damn it i wish i had foooood... My mumsy is gone.

Phoney phone phone.. :)

German boys are seriously VAIR VAIR hawt!! I totally had /2/ eye contact moments with one of them. And not just eye contact, /eye CONTACT/. It was awesome.

3 Black Roses | Scream the Sorrow..

:: 2005 20 March :: 6.40pm

AHH! MY BABY ISNT WORKING!! DAMN YOOOU RADIOBLOG!!!!!!!!!
-freaks out and dies-

:: 2005 20 March :: 1.26pm

It was awesome.

3 Black Roses | Scream the Sorrow..

:: 2005 17 March :: 6.58pm

Whoo, IHOP!

:: 2005 16 March :: 9.46pm

That FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe I let him upset me.

I can't believe I'm thinking about him

I can't believe I ever liked him

I can't believe anyone can be so.. God, i can't even find an adjective to describe it..

I can't believe she still talks to him

I can't believe some people just dont get it

I can't believe I'm lucky enough to have friends that do

:: 2005 16 March :: 4.08pm

So today at school sucked.. and Anya might kind of blow me off, but it was cool cuz after school Mando rode da bus home and then Paulo came over and we ate cheesecake.. It was fun. And now we're gonna play with PEPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay!

:: 2005 15 March :: 8.44pm

I was super duper nervous, but we sounded good :)

It was scary though.. there were a buncha people in the audience.. But its all good, and I have tea.

:: 2005 15 March :: 3.11pm
:: Mood: happy

Paulo walked me home. And for the first time it was just me and him. Without george.. We talked about cheesecake.. and he was gonna come in and have some.. but for the first time i was telling the truth when i said i thought my mom was home. She's not though. I know relationships are for pansies.. But I-- Waaaait.. No. I don't. I must control myself. I AM NOT A PANSY! And I will remain a pansy free zone. So there.

Choir concert tonight. We're doing the solo thing wich is freaking me the hell out.. But other than that.. Nothing..

Sayonara!

:: 2005 14 March :: 8.03pm

It may not be pie. But its cheesecake.

On the other foot... I know I should feel bad, but I dont.. I also know this isnt right.. but i still dont care. I also know I'm repeating history.. But now it seems worth it.

Will I regret this later? That is the Question.

Bouncing back to foot number one.. My Daddy took me to Azars today and it was yummy.... Haha..

I hope I get in to UW.. Hahahaha.. ahh i dont feel like explaining.. draw your own conclusions..

:: 2005 14 March :: 5.35pm

I did yoga to some crazy techno music to help cleanse my mind.. and it worked! Yay! I feel mucho grande better.

4 Black Roses | Scream the Sorrow..

:: 2005 14 March :: 3.17pm
:: Music: Cake-- Friend is a four letter word

I hate days like this. When everything feels wrong.. but you can't explain it. ........... Yeah.. I have that.

At least I didn't have to go to Sami's house.. I just can't deal with her sometimes...

:: 2005 13 March :: 5.50pm

What an eventful.. 23 hours..

hee hee. It was fun. Me 'n' mandoooooooo watched bring it on.. and then i bought a shirt.. and then Cyler was a meanie.. and then.. i forgot..

Hahaha. I have homework............. Ahh, i'm screwed!

:: 2005 12 March :: 10.13pm

Ahh the mime! The MIME!! DAMN YOU ANYA!! DAMMMMMMMMMMMNN YOOOOOOOOOOU!! But not really... i love you.. you just owe me..

I sat in a window for an hour with sophie and we got free cookies. it was shweeeeet. We made a song. Soo yeah.. i should probably be social now.. since i've been avoiding the mime..

ughh.

:: 2005 11 March :: 3.17pm

SoO...Yeah... today was pretty cool..

Sami is soo funny! Today in science she called the Spokane School number and asked to get a job as a janitor, and when they asked her to describe herself she was like "I'm 5'7, an Aquarius, i like long walks on the beach,a nd romantic dinners" It was great.

We got midterms.. i got an A, B, C, C, D, B. Wich is better than i thought. I hope i dont get grounded or anything though. Maybe my mom wont ask for them.

George and Paulo walked home again today.. I think maybe Paulo /does/ like me.. he's been talking to me alot lately.. Hee hehehehe..

Relationships are for pansies though..

I get to go to Clinkerdaggers or however you spell it tonight.. With My grandma, mom, and the infamous Skip.. We'll see how that goes. I'm not to thrilled.. But cest la vie.

:: 2005 10 March :: 8.01pm

*Your name?: Nora "Rah Rah" McMoooonadhjf

*If you could have 10 friends stranded on an island with you, who would they be?: Mando, Yah, Oph, Gabe, Chris, Ashlee, Umm, the others...

*If you could have only 5 things (not people) what would they be?: Super Powers, A laptop with a wireless connection, Tons 'o Money, Fantastic hair/ clothes, Fame

*What do you think would be the worst way to die? (Ex. drowning, being burned, being hung, cut up into little pieces): Raped and killed by someone I thught was normal

*If you had to pick someone to marry right now, who would it be and why?: Montel Williams.. because he's the shiz.

*Realistically, do you think you will drink or get drunk before you are 21?: Hahahahahahaha...

*Have you had a nightmare lately? Yeah, i dont remember it though

*Do you ever have a reoccurring dream? Yeah, i have a scary one that the boy from the Grudge lives in my garage

*Have you ever had a dream, and then that exact same thing happened in real life? Yeah, that used to hapeen to me quite a bit.. I"M A PSYCHO!! I mean.. psychic..

*Do you have a secret you have never told ANYONE???: Yeah

*What is your absolute favorite song at this very moment?: The Donnas-- Take it off (Ironic, it just came on..)

*What do you think of "inside jokes"?: Awesome. All the time, anywhere, no matter what. Especially Con jokes..

*Do you believe in love at first sight? Yeah

*Have you ever wished upon a star, seriously? If so, what did you wish for?: Yeah, and i cant tell you or it wont come true.. Duh.

*Do you know a member of the opposite sex who you are comfortable enough with to talk about almost anything? I have close guy friends.. but not ones who I tell /everything/

*Do you have a friend of the same sex that you could tell almost anything to? Who?: Sure, Soph, Mando, YahYah, Tori....

*If you found out that you were gonna die tomorrow, is there anything you would want to say or do?: Hard drugs.. and eat a guava.. haha. Just kidding.. I'd prolly get wasted and do a bunch of things that would make me thankful I was dying the next day..

*Right now, what is your biggest regret?: Jr. High

*Name one person who has seriously changed your life for the better: Most of my friends

*For the worse: Fuckhole.

*Do you want to have any kids? If so how many and what will you name them?: No, I'll just have 17 cats, two poodles, and a ferret. AND my ferret racing empire of course.. hahaha the mime knows.

*Is there anything you oppose? (Ex- abortion, gay marriage...): I oppose alot of things.. like the president... lol.

*What is the worst name anyone has ever called you, and who called you that?: I dont want to repeat it.. But stewart called me it in 5th grade. Although i think i made him Unable to bear children soon after.

*When did you last cry? What makes you cry?: Alot of things.. and on.. last friday

*Have you ever seriously thought about committing suicide? If so, why?: Why would i tell /you/?

*Theoretically, if you were going to commit suicide, how would you do it?: Prolly slit my wrists.

*Who are 9 friends you would do anything for? Sophie YahYah Mando Ashlee Gabe Chris Tori Various others.. i only have like 3 friends.. come on..

*If you could change one thing you have done in the last 24 hours, what would it be?: Not done the thing that i did.. i dont know..

*Who can make you smile, no matter what mood you are in?: My buddies. Calvin and Hobbes.

*During World War II, a woman was forced to choose to take with her to safety
only one of her two children, who consisted of one boy and one girl. if you were
faced with this choice, which would you choose?: The one i liked more.

*What is the corniest pick up line you have ever heard?: Did it hurt? Falling down from heaven?

*Is there someone you can talk to for 12 hrs straight and never get bored? If so who?: Maya

*Would you ever get plastic surgery? If yes, what would you get it on: Yeah, prolly my boobs

*What CD is in your CD player right now?: Pantera

*Would you ever get a tattoo? If so, what and where?: Yeah, Some sort of design on my lower back or ankle

*If you got pregnant when you were really young, like 14, would you have an abortion?: yeah

*Do you feel safe at school? On a scale of 1-10 how safe do you feel? (10 being very safe, 1 being not safe): 7

*What is the scariest movie you have ever seen? The funniest?: The Grudge and.. Maybe Dodgeball??

*Have you ever gotten a detention or suspension? If so, for what?: I got saturday school for skipping, does that count?

*And last, but not least, was this a better survey than you have taken in the past?: Yes, without a doubt.. this is da slamminest survey thing EVAH!