Love Potion No. 9
Well, things are going. Better than August... which is very good. I just got back from swimming at jake's house. His pool was way dirty. Homecoming is this Saturday. I'm so excited and nervous. It's my last one. We're seniors. I am a senior. This is crazy. By this time next year. I will most likely be in college. Man I can't even think right now. i'm going to take a nap and maybe write later.

Whenever you call me, I'll be there..
I'm Really stressed out. I have my AP Exam tomorrow and then the history meap following that. To relieve some of my stress I plan on attending a High School Baseball game tomorrow evening. I'm hoping to have Bryan join me, we both like watching and playing baseball.

I'm currently sick. Sick and Tired. I'm sick physically. I have a sore throat that is scratchy and covered in mucus. My nose burns from the tissue being rubbed upon it every second of the day. AND I'm coughing. Do any of these symptoms sound familar Raych??

Anyways, as of right now. I have misplaced my Jewel "Pieces of You" CD. I had Kandy over and wanted to play her the song I learned so she could hear the lyrics... and I couldn't find the darn thing anyplace. Hopefully it will turn up, un-damaged.

Well, I am off to study for my major exam some more. It feels like I've been studying everynight for the past month even though it has only been a week.

'Allison'

A New Hope for A New Beginning
*deep breath*

I've decided that I'm starting over. I'm done with my Old ways. I want a new me. It will be a long process and some of you may not even notice any changes. But I'll notice them. It will mainly be internal. The Way I think about things and how I view them. That's going to change.

Other news, Things are going better than usual. Feels like everyday gets better. Things that bother me happen but I'm learning to brush them off like they don't matter. Which is great from my new perspective.

I'm not going to get hurt again. This will be the last time that I fall apart. I don't even want a relationship. Too much for me, especially if I want to make something of myself. I feel like... I don't need someone to make me happy anymore. I can do it on my own. How I used to, by doing the things I love. I'm going down a better track and I like it. I'm not looking back I'm just gonna look right here.

We'd be together forever.
Feeling weird today. I don't know. I don't want to feel like this. It's so me. I hate it. I want it to just go away. But it won't I have to make it. Somehow. I used to have comfort in something. And now I don't. I feel like everything I ever believed in was just proved wrong and I have nothing to hold on to. Painful for me, and scary as well.

only 17
My friend amanda goes to heartlands and someone left a looks used condom on her car. Pretty gross. Today was an okay day. I'm trying to think of something specacular that happened. I can't think of ooooh. No homework in first hour that was definantly a +. umm we had a sub in ap calc and he was really cool and funny. He made it really easy to learn. That's all I can think of. Lunch was great today. Nacho's meat and cheese with some chocolate milk. Yippy.

"you whisper that you love me and I just don't know why"
I'm hungry

Inside my heart there's an empty room it's waiting for lighting it's wating for you...
me here... being bored. I showed rachel my homecoming dress and stuff. She advised me on my hair. I'm excited. One more day. That I don't want to go through at all because I have band.. But, I suppose I will live through it. Well. I guess I'm going to go.

these are the best days of ours... :|
I think that the reason why I'm feeling like this is because, saturday was so good that anything compaired to it isn't nearly as much of a high. It was like being on drugs. So nice to feel that good with out them though. Maybe it's school. It's making me depressed. I hate it so much. It's like fucking hell going their each day. Getting up. I hate all of my hours except my third one. Theory of law. If I didn't have that class I would probably do something stupid.. like burn down the school kill myself something. But I love jay too much to do that. He's the only thing that makes me happy. No one could ever make me as happy as he does. Well... I'm tired and I want to