jedibumblebee
|
::
2002 15 November :: 5.28pm
i wish he knew how much he hurts me. i can feel myself being deceived.
Edward
|
|
jedibumblebee
|
::
2002 15 November :: 1.06pm
it feels great to forget but then hurts to remember.
Edward
|
|
jedibumblebee
|
::
2002 14 November :: 5.49pm
damn it whatever i have just as much right to be here as anyone else and about twenty billion times more right to be here than him and if he squaks his beak one more time i'm gonna smash it in i hope they realize where this is going before its too late there's only trouble brewing here and i can smell it i just wish that someone saw things in the way that i still do until i realize there's no hope because i'm the only one left beliving this way i'd like to think i've seen my share and as i add up the calculations i cant be too far off so why cant anyone else see that disaster is brewing people are just drawn to people that properly feed the parts of their egos that are hungry and feel like they need to be fed there is no point to the game at all there is no way to win you only find the break even point the equalibrium of supply and demand for affection and emotion and protection and sex because really thats probably what it comes down to in the end so theyre probably pissed that i broke in the middle and sat down and did my own thing in the middle of their little cuddle fest but i dont give a fuck because i can see through the open window that are my eyes to the socialization of college living and people and fucked up relationships
but maybe i dont know shit.
Edward
|
|
jedibumblebee
|
::
2002 14 November :: 5.35pm
"what it is that doesn't make sense
seems to me to be the most worthwhile
and then when you say
that you can only appreciate what makes sense
you make no sense at all
what makes sense is that the shortest distance between two points
is a straight line
and you measure out the steady steps that it takes
for you to get there.
but what happens when something monumentous is in your way?
and what do you do then?
when your path is broken but something immense changes your course?
and then it becomes that what is beautiful
is what is senseless
and maybe the scenic route
is what provides you the most
out of those careful calculated, steadily measured steps."
Edward
|
|
jedibumblebee
|
::
2002 14 November :: 3.35pm
damn, if i do that i'll be just like everyone else.
i haven't really tried that before and i'm not quite sure that this would be the best way to start.
my class-walking partner seems to have neglected me again. i really wanted someone to talk to.
Edward
|
|
jedibumblebee
|
::
2002 14 November :: 3.15pm
yes perhaps i should just follow this plan. i like him well enough. i could have a very suitable life. everything according to plan. my family at least would be satisfied with the arrangement.
but then maybe i am taking this too far.
i just need to turn ahead a few chapters in this book. see where it is that i finally end up.
Edward
|
|
jedibumblebee
|
::
2002 14 November :: 1.15pm
yeah. happiness isn't the issue. it's all about practicality.
Edward
|
|
jedibumblebee
|
::
2002 14 November :: 11.10am
:: Mood: indescribable
ahh...so maybe this is what it feels like to be torn between two lovers...
actually, you'd think it would be easier since one seems to want nothing to do with me most of the time...hmm.. but its not.
what was so scary about that conversation was that too much of it made sense...it fit the plan...alarming because i think we both recognized how feasible it was, it might actually work. but would that actually make me happy?
Edward
|
|
jedibumblebee
|
::
2002 12 November :: 9.48pm
:: Mood: contemplative
"i saw as you turned your head
in your eyes
the scent of recognition
the familiarity
as the words played sounds that you knew you'd heard before
as you recognized
those simple eyes
that swept across your forehead
because i couldn't
look
you in the eye."
Edward
|
|
jedibumblebee
|
::
2002 12 November :: 5.58pm
:: Mood: confused
"what if i'd been born
fifty years before you
in a house
on the street
where you live
maybe i'd be outside
as you passed on your bike
would i know?
in a wide sea of eyes
see one pair that i recognize
and i know."
"there's an old man
who lived into his nineties
and one day
passed away
in his sleep.
and his wife, she stayed
for a couple of days
and passed away
i'm sorry
i know
that's a strange way to tell you
that i know
we belong."
Edward
|
|
jedibumblebee
|
::
2002 12 November :: 5.52pm
and so annie waits annie waits annie waits
for a call from a friend
the same
it's the same, why's it always the same?
annie waits for the last time
the clock never stops never stops never waits
she's growing old
it's getting late
and so he forgot, he forgot
but maybe not
annie waits for the last time
just the same as the last time
annie says, you see?
this is why i'd rather be alone
1 Fey |
Edward
|
|
jedibumblebee
|
::
2002 12 November :: 5.50pm
"by not admitting what i mean to him
he's denying who he is"
Edward
|
|
jedibumblebee
|
::
2002 10 November :: 6.19pm
i found this a bit surprising, do you?
What is your Alter-Ego
Personality?
Edward
|
|
jedibumblebee
|
::
2002 10 November :: 7.30am
I am sick, I am sad.. I am dying.
Edward
|
|
jedibumblebee
|
::
2002 7 November :: 5.40pm
"and wouldn't you have to agree...
we'd have the most beautiful children...
with bright eyes and thick hair
a perfect little
herd
of
sheep."
Edward
|
|